lieutenant seivarden vendaai (vendaai) wrote in thedisplaced, @ 2018-09-15 20:01:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log/thread, kell maresh, seivarden vendaai |
WHO: Seivarden & Kell
WHAT: They go out to be each other's wingmen (wingpeople?) and it doesn't go great at first but they end up going home together instead.
WHEN: A week ago, Saturday 9/8 evening - Sunday 9/9 early morning
WHERE: Idk. A bar
WARNINGS: Brief mention of misgendering, mentions of slurs (none written out), and then it's mostly just flirting etc
Seivarden was pleased that Kell had taken her up on the offer to go out together, and help each other figure out how to relate to people here. She had been here about two months without her lover, and Breq had sounded like she didn’t think Ekalu would be coming. Seivarden was sad about that, of course, but she wasn’t moving on. She was just sexually frustrated as all hell and wanted to find someone to have fun with, but it was very annoying to try to find a partner - much less more than one - in a world that was seemingly obsessed with gender and monogamy.
Also, one in which Seivarden was completely sober. She’d had partners during her time outside of Radch space, but they’d mostly been drug dealers or fellow addicts or at least people who didn’t care that she was high out of her mind. Ever since then, the only person she’d been with was Ekalu, and she’d almost managed to mess that up.
So she was understandably a little wary about venturing out into the dating pool of this world, especially outside the circle of the refugees from other worlds. But many of them held the same cultural beliefs, even if they were more accepting of differences. And many of them were paired off.
Discussing that with Kell was how she found herself at a bar, ordering virgin drinks (wasn’t that a hilarious way of describing them), which turned out to be very colorful and made from fruit juices, and came with a little umbrella on them. Unfortunately, that did not seem to be working in her favor.
Her first attempt, after they’d had a few drinks, involved a very attractive person with dark skin and short hair, sitting at the bar and drinking a small glass of a dark brown and heady-scented alcohol. She’d brought Kell over with her, introduced herself with a flirtatious smile, and gotten only irritation in return, an angry splutter of “I’m nothing like you,” followed by an mostly nonsensical (to Seivarden, at least) string of what she assumed were slurs and a weird comment about her beautiful, delicious drink.
“Male, I’m guessing?” she asked Kell, after the person had stormed off. Already, she seemed to have violated the gender norms here somehow, since they had referred to her drink as ‘girly’, and some of the other words had seemed to have some gender connotations. She took a sip of her drink and shrugged it off. “His loss.”
--
Kell, for his part, rather enjoyed Breq’s and Seivarden’s views on gender. He liked that Seivarden, who seemed to embody many traits that would perceived as masculine, was able to order a drink without any awareness or concern that he wasn’t supposed to. In fairness, Kell wasn’t even really sure why a sweet, fruitier drink wasn’t supposed to be masculine.
Kell remained supportively by Seivarden’s side, fully aware that Seivarden was far more likely to go home with someone than Kell was. Being Rhy’s carousing compatriot, though, Kell was accustomed to that, and knew he would have a fine enough time anyway.
Seivarden’s first attempt left a scowl on Kell’s face and a half itching need to prove a lesson, reminiscent, he supposed, of being overprotective of Rhy.
“Asshole,” Kell confirmed rather than saying that he was indeed a male.
…
“That too,” Seivarden agreed easily. She put a hand on Kell’s shoulder and smiled at him. “Forget about him. We’re here to find the people that want to talk to us.”
She looked around, considering the other options. A few of the other bar patrons were looking at them, not all of them in a particularly friendly way, although some were interested. Seivarden winked at one of them, but didn’t approach. “But… maybe we should get more drinks first. And then you can have a go.”
--
Kell scoffed.
“Who here do you think is going to go home with this?” he asked, gesturing to his eye. Being around locals felt more like being at home -- everyone was a little wary upon seeing it, and that Kell feel more rigid, which made him come off even more aloof. No, he was far more comfortable with nursing his drink, giving a quiet running commentary to Seivarden, and watching Seivarden try to work the crowd.
…
“There is nothing wrong with your eye, Kell,” Seivarden said. “We had a deal, remember? We’re both putting ourselves out there. Helping each other out. You gotta hold up your end of it.”
But she didn’t try to push him at anyone immediately. She turned around, slid into the seat vacated by the gender-obsessed man, and finished off her drink. Then she slid the glass across the bar towards the bartender. “I’ll have another. Or -- something else equally delicious and non-alcoholic. Surprise me.”
--
Kell knew there was nothing wrong with his eye. He was pretty sure that it was almost everybody else who thought there was something else with his. But he figured that Seivarden would see and it would be par for course and it would be fine.
“All right, all right,” Kell agreed, because it was true they they had had a deal and that Seivarden had valiantly tried to talk to a stranger.
Kell finished off his glass of wine as Seivarden ordered another neon drink. Kell smiled to himself.
There was a girl across the bar from them who was pretty enough and looked like she might be friendly, so Kell decided to hold up his end of the bargain. He tried to imagine what Rhy would say in a situation like this, but Kell was abundantly aware that Rhy was very good at these sorts of things because he was able to begin communicating far before he said a single word. Kell tried to relax. He walked over, made his greetings, and offered to buy a drink. The girl looked up at him, locked on his eye, and while she was polite about it, the answer was an almost immediate, “No, thank you,” so Kell retreated back to Seivarden, raising his eyebrows at her in an “I-told-you-so” manner.
…
Seivarden was absolutely sure that the eye would not be an issue, so she was very surprised when Kell didn’t get anywhere. “Are you sure that had something to do with your eye?” she asked. “Maybe she just didn’t want company.”
She wasn’t sure if she had used the right pronoun for the person Kell had flirted with; whatever it was that turned her words into English always chose ‘she’ as the default translation of the Radchaai third person singular pronoun. “But, if you’re right,” she acknowledged the possibility, “People here have even stranger and more complicated dating rules than I thought. Personally, I think the eye gives you a very unique and interesting look. I’d want to know more.”
--
Kell shrugged at the question. It wasn’t as if he had given the girl a thorough debriefing of what exactly had gone wrong. He was quite accustomed to going out with Rhy, ostensibly, to pick people up, and Rhy being the only one going home with a companion. It wouldn’t be any different when Seivarden did the same tonight.
“Most people aren’t that interested in being close to unique and interesting, Seivarden” Kell said, amused, as he sat back down.
“Luckily, you already do know more,” Kell teased and, channeling what was his own brand of mischief rather than his brother’s, he let his magic swirl around in Seivarden’s nearly neon drink, creating a playful tornado effect.
…
Seivarden shook her head. “Most people are boring, then. They don’t deserve you.”
Her wry amusement turned to surprise and then amazement as her drink started to move. She looked at the bartender, and then at Kell. Then she noticed that Kell’s fingers were moving, subtly, not unlike the small twitches that Seivarden and Breq - and all other Radchaai with implants - used to communicate silently. “Are you doing that?”
--
Kell warmed a little over Seivarden’s statement, a sentiment that he wasn’t used to genuinely hearing from anyone besides Rhy.
“Yes,” Kell answered, looking up from the drink to smile at Seivarden. He wasn’t feeling pleased with himself -- despite everything, Kell had never lost his love for his magic, and there was still a pleasant sort of thrill that came from working it and from watching Seivarden’s reaction to it. Both Breq and Seivarden had been told that he was a magician, but he’d had little chance to use his magic with them yet, and he doubted that either of them knew the magnitude of his power.
…
“Wow,” Seivarden said, even more amazed than before. “I mean -- seriously, that’s a great party trick. Does it only work on drinks?”
She was aware that it was probably a stupid question, but she was genuinely interested, and also wanted to build up Kell’s ego a little. Seivarden’s ego could take plenty of hits when she was in a weird world that didn’t appreciate her, but Kell really seemed to think he didn’t have much of a chance at dating anywhere.
--
“Only neon-colored drinks, yes,” Kell answered, amused. He let the liquid fall back into place as he reached forward to take another hit off of his own drink.
“Here,” Kell said, reaching forward to take one of Seivarden’s hands and set it down on the bar, palm against the somewhat sticky wood, fingers splayed. “I won’t hurt you,” Kell promised as he applied just enough pressure to the bones in Seivarden’s hand that she would be able to feel it and have a difficult time moving it, but not enough that it would actually be painful.
…
Seivarden raised an amused eyebrow; she could tell Kell was making fun of her question. But she didn’t respond, because Kell was offering another demonstration. She let him take her hand and press it into the bar. She shrugged, just to show that she wasn’t concerned about being hurt.
And then -- he grabbed her hand, which was an exceptionally intimate gesture in her culture, especially since she was the only one wearing gloves. It took her a moment to process what he was actually doing, and it was hard to explain, how the pressure on her bones felt. She tried to move her hand, but couldn’t. Her gaze moved to her hand, then up to Kell’s face, and back. Apparently Kell’s power was not just party tricks.
“Remind me,” she said after a beat, “Not to get on your bad side.”
--
“All right,” Kell agreed with a bit of a laugh, withdrawing his magic so that Seivarden’s hand was free again. He half wished he had his little board of elements, because then he could really do some amusing and minor tricks, but, as it was, he figured he had shown off enough and was running out of small things he could do with Seivarden that wouldn’t draw attention from someone else.
…
“Okay, new plan,” Seivarden said, “We’re going to sit over here being interesting, and other people - if they’re smart - will come hang out with us.”
She grinned at him, and took a sip of her (now very well mixed) drink. It was delicious, and she was now fascinated by her drinking partner. “But,” she said, “As much as I want to see all your party tricks -- we should probably avoid drawing too much attention to them. Magic apparently doesn’t play too well with the locals.” Which, she realized belatedly, meant it had been kind of a stupid idea to try to introduce her magician friend to the locals. “Or actually, you know what? Maybe we should just go have our own party. Forget these people, we’re the most fun and interesting people in this bar.”
--
Kell was pleased that Seivarden had enjoyed his brief demonstrations, but felt a flash of guilt when she suggested that they leave. Kell, after all, knew that Seivarden had come down to the bar to watch Kell swirl around liquids like some child who had just discovered their affinity.
“Are you sure you want to leave?” Kell asked doubtfully.
…
“Absolutely,” Seivarden answered. “I mean, I suppose we might as well finish our drinks first, since we can’t take them with us.”
She tipped her head back and took a big pull from her drink, though she didn’t manage to finish it on the first go. She swallowed, and shrugged at Kell. “It’s stupid to try to date the locals. They don’t appreciate people like us. I should’ve realized that sooner. But--” she gestured towards Kell’s chest-- “You’re very interesting, and I want to get to know you better.”
--
Kell, light with alcohol and the effects of his magic, flushed at the wording, not entirely sure what it meant. It was in moments like this, he needed his brother. It was always why he couldn’t promise to be a good wingman for Seivarden.
He didn’t know what that comment meant. It could very well mean that they would be go back to Station, swap stories about their worlds again, and Kell would show off more extensive magic. But he didn’t know. Maybe there was something more there, and Kell found that he didn’t dislike the idea of it.
He’d found a surprisingly quick amount of comfort with Breq and Seivarden. He’d let Breq hold him while he slept for Sanct’s sake. He trusted them, he realized, and that included a physical trust.
He searched Seivarden’s face for which she had meant.
…
Seivarden was not unaware of how the words could be taken, although she hadn’t necessarily meant them that way. She noticed his flush, though, and knew that was how he had taken it. She couldn’t tell if he was flustered because he felt awkward and embarrassed, or because he was interested, or both. But she met his eyes, and tilted her head slightly to the side as she watched him, too.
“Unless,” she said eventually, easily, “You want to stay. That’s fine, too.”
--
Kell didn’t break away from Seivarden’s eye contact.
“No,” Kell answered with little thought. “I’d like to go.” He definitely didn’t want to stay in this bar any longer than necessary, and he wouldn’t have minded if they just went back to Station and had tea and chatted for the rest of the night, but his answer also conveyed that he wouldn’t mind if it took other routes.
…
A small smile appeared at the edges of Seivarden’s mouth when Kell kept looking at her. She hadn’t wanted to scare him away, but he didn’t look like he was going to get scared off. She hadn’t expected the night to go like this, but she couldn’t say that she minded, either.
“Well, if that’s decided.” She picked up her drink, tossed back the rest of it, and set the glass back on the table in one fluid motion, then got to her feet. She grinned at Kell. “Come on, then, magician.”
--
“All right, star girl,” Kell agreed amicably. He also drained the rest of his drink and then followed after Seivarden, glad to be leaving the local bar. It wasn’t that he’d had a bad time. But, as ever, he wasn’t good at walking into a room full of people and charming them. He decided that he’d continue to leave that to Rhy.
…
Seivarden laughed, a free and genuinely amused sound. “Star girl,” she said. “That’s a new one.”
She walked beside him, letting her arm and shoulder brush against his. It could have been chalked up to drunkenness, but she hadn’t had a single drop of alcohol. The moment was still pleasantly heady, though. Belatedly she remembered that Kell was still under the influence of alcohol; she eyed him as he moved, trying to determine if he was drunk enough to be making a decision he’d regret. He seemed relatively steady.
--
Kell was buzzing with the alcohol, just enough to leave him loose, but not enough so that he was drunk. He’d hit the sweet spot that was so easy to overlook in the quest for more.
He liked it. He was so pleasantly aware of Seivarden’s body beside him, as if the air was charged. He leaned a little into the passing brush of Seivarden’s arm in return.
…
“You know I’m not a girl, right?” Seivarden asked, amused. She wasn’t insulted by being called one, but at the moment it was more a matter of Kell’s expectations. She was pretty sure he called her ‘she’ because Breq did, but he had also used female pronouns for his potential lover back home. It seemed like a good idea to make sure things were clear, before it got awkward. “Not a boy, either, but...”
--
“I understand that she and her are neutral pronouns in your culture and not representative of identifying as female,” Kell confirmed. Still, in a moment like the one that had just happened, he would have had to think about it not to use the term “girl” with “star girl,” even though when Kell looked at Seivarden, everything he saw about her was what he was accustomed to associating with a man.
Either way, Kell would argue that “star person” didn’t nearly as a good as “star girl” or “star boy.”
He felt that he vaguely knew that Seivarden was alluding to, but if Kell was being honest, he wasn’t entirely sure what to expect when he got underneath Seivarden’s clothes, which seemed to be likely to happen tonight. Kell knew that Seivarden was technically human, but she was also from a time and a place that was so radically different than Kell’s base of normal, that it was entirely possible that those differences would keep coming.
Kell figured they would manage.
“But?” Kell asked playfully, letting his gaze drop down.
…
“Oh, well done,” Seivarden said, rather impressed. She had not explained the pronouns to Kell, so she could only assume Breq had told him, or that he had worked it out on his own. Her worries were clearly unfounded -- especially because, moments later, Kell’s gaze made it very clear he was very interested in whatever was in her pants.
She laughed, and responded, equally playfully, “Don’t worry, I have all the standard Radchaai implants, and I’m up to date on all my shots.”
The implants were only for birth control, but Kell didn’t know that, so it amused her to see what he would make of that. With the slightest twitch of her fingers, she called them a Lyft, and then held open the door for Kell so they could wait outside.
--
Kell had zero idea what that meant. It could have been a joke for all Kell knew, although he suspected that it maybe (probably?) wasn’t. If it wasn’t, he had no idea what all “implants” entailed.
He settled for laughing, because if it was a joke, it was enjoyable -- and if it wasn’t, there was a ridiculous undertone to all of this that Kell was very much enjoying. He’d asked for the chance to experience different worlds, and here he was.
“Thanks,” Kell commented as he headed outside -- which felt so much better than the cloistered and tense atmosphere inside the bar.
…
Seivarden’s grin widened, and she nodded, then stepped out into the warm night air after him. She brushed a gloved hand lightly against his elbow as she came to stand beside him.
“I sent for a ride,” she said. Technically, they could have taken the portal, but Seivarden didn’t want to hurry home. And she could have asked Breq to come and get them, but that seemed like it might make the moment a little awkward. Though surely Breq already knew exactly what was happening, as did Station.
--
Kell glanced down faintly at the touch to his elbow, aware of the warmth that sparked up his skin even through the layers of cloth. It had been too long. He’d known that, but he’d fought it the entire time they’d been here. Instead of admitting that having Rhy’s arousal coursing through his own body only made Kell more desperate for some release of his own, Kell had clamped down on everything and tried to control it that way.
He was eager to let that go, only peripherally aware of his brother on the outskirts of the bond. (The alcohol helped a little bit with that, too, bleeding away Kell’s constant worry about what Rhy would be feeling.)
Kell nodded and leaned more deliberately into Seivarden, their sides pressed together so that Kell could be pleased with the feeling of being close to someone else and the promise of more to come.
…
Seivarden wrapped her arm around Kell’s shoulders, shifting so that her chest pressed against his side. He smelled good, she noticed; like flowers.
“I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone with hair as red as yours before,” she commented, as an excuse to brush her fingers through it. There were plenty of things that were unique about him, from his eye to his magic, but she hoped his hair wasn’t as much of a sore spot as the eye. “I like it.”
--
Despite the way they were moving nearer to each other, Kell was caught off guard by how Seivarden chose to hold him, by the brush of her fingers through his hair. It reminded him, vaguely, of how matter of fact Breq had been about holding him while he slept. He wondered if touch was so much more common. He half thought about telling Seivarden that she didn’t need to put in any extra effort -- Kell was going home with her either way.
“Good,” Kell murmured instead. “Because it’s not changing.”
…
Seivarden chuckled softly, but then didn’t answer, because the car pulled up. She let Kell go, briefly, and opened the door for him. She slid in after him, confirmed their destination with the driver, and then put her hand gently, warmly on Kell’s knee.
She looked at him for a moment, and then leaned in, paused to make sure he understood her intention and could stop her if he wanted, and then kissed him.
--
Kell sank back into the seat of the car once they were inside, feeling more relaxed for the bit of alcohol in his blood and because they were no longer in a bar full of strangers.
Seivarden’s hand came as little surprise. Kell was aware of the driver in front of them, and that plucked at him. He was natural inclination, as ever, was to pull away from something like this in the face of attention.
But it just felt like too much work to keep that barrier up right now. Kell didn’t really want to. Fuck it, he thought, and leaned into the kiss, pressing a hand against the side of Seivarden’s face.