River Song (spoilers_) wrote in thedisplaced, @ 2018-08-24 13:16:00 |
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“It’s a good thing I didn’t change into the anime version of myself. Have you ever seen it? Google it sometime. They’ve got me in an older regeneration, back when I wore the frilly tuxedo shirt.” The Doctor wiggled his fingers at his neck to conjure the image. “But I have the scary, attack eyebrows and I’m always scowling.” When the Portal decided to turn him, along with the TARDIS and Daria, into cartoon versions of themselves, the Doctor didn’t even notice. It was only when he had paused to look at Daria and asked if she’d gotten new eyeglasses and she told him. Otherwise, he’d taken it in stride. The only thing that upset him was that River somehow escaped transformation. “I finally figured out why you didn’t turn into a cartoon. Your hair is so poofy, the Portal assumed you were one already.” River had spent the last two weeks on assignment in Somalia alongside Sara Lance and Rogue mopping up a human trafficking ring. She’d really had to reign herself in in order to meet her objectives of leaving the baddies in a position to be arrested. Death seemed a much more fitting solution for the human filth she'd been forced to neutralize. Focusing on the survivors of their schemes had kept her from doing anything she would have to account for later. Following celebratory drinks in Shanghai, a lengthy debrief at the Facility had kept her occupied until early Tuesday morning. She had returned to find the TARDIS in its current cartoon state with the Doctor to match. At the moment, she was staring at the Doctor with a raised brow, watching as he flitted around the TARDIS’ kitchen, somehow more energetic than normal. And yellow. So very yellow. He had offered to make her tea, but had not stopped talking since she had seen him and burst out laughing. The anime version, she thought to herself, might have been an improvement. River forced a laugh as he joked about her hair which was pulled back into a fancy clasp. She reached up and unfastened it, shaking her head so that it resumed its usual wild appearance. Finally she asked, “My tea, Doctor? Or have you drank it all?” The TARDIS had felt lonely and empty without River, so despite his teasing, the Doctor was very glad to have her back. Maybe that was why he was so upset? She’d finally returned, and they couldn’t share this portal event together. The Doctor grinned when she let her hair loose. “Thar she blows! “No, I haven’t drank it all. If anything, I got more since you were away.” He pressed his hand against the wall, and a panel slid open to reveal more tea than some grocery stores had stocked. “It’s in here somewhere….” He reached up to grab one of the tins from the back, but it proved to be too much - all at once, everything began falling out, but in such a comical, cartoonish way that it kept hitting the Doctor on the head. “Ow! Ouch! Oof! Ouch! D’oh!” Until he was completely buried under a mound of decorative tea tins. Suddenly, his hand shot out from the pile, holding the one that bore River’s image. “Got it!” River watched this all unfold with the patience of a woman who had seen it all, although this was definitely a new one for her. She held out her hand for the tea tin, then with her other, helped the Doctor get to his feet, creating an avalanche of tins as he emerged from beneath the pile. “I hope you don’t expect me to clean that up,” she remarked cheerfully. “I’m your wife, not your housekeeper.” The offer for help was accepted - tins clinked against one another with a metallic sound as they tumbled when the Doctor emerged from the pile, holding River’s hand. He looked over his shoulder at them all, and all he had to say was, “Guess I got carried away with my order.” The fact was, he hadn’t actually bought that many, but the cartoon atmosphere that the Portal created everywhere thought it was funny, and so generated all the tea for that purpose. The Doctor picked up one of the tins, looked at the cover and laughed, then held it out for River to see. “Hello, Sweet tea. Heh.” He then set it down on the nearest counter space. “Don’t worry. I’ll get Elgeem to help, he loves doing this sort of thing. Er… how about you getting the mugs?” He had a problem with the tea tins, he hated to think what would happen if he opened the cupboard with the mugs. “Clever,” River replied, not feeling the least bit put off by the rather bizarre circumstances of having one’s face and apparent catchphrase used to market tea. She had grown rather used to the idea that her life was the work of fiction in this universe. After all, it was not as if this were the first time she found herself as part of a culture’s lore. She had often found her exploits with the Doctor as stuff of legend on various planets during her travels, to say nothing of her research into the Doctor for her doctoral work. “Shall we see how I taste?” She picked up the tin and read the description aloud. “A little mysterious, a little dangerous, and flirty through and through. I'd say more, but. Spoilers.” She looked up at the Doctor. “I’m not sure I know how that translates to flavor, but I must say, I like the sound of it.” She approached the cupboard containing mugs and retrieved two mugs, saucers, and tea infusers without incident and placed them on the counter near the stove and tea kettle. Despite being animated, the dishes thankfully appeared to be ordinary tableware. Though his back was turned away while he tended to the kettle of hot water, the Doctor smirked. “I already know how you taste, but enough about that. Let’s try some tea!” He listened to her read outloud the description of the tea, and decided it was very appropriate of his wife, but his smile faded by the end, lost in his thoughts. He was careful not to let this show, so by the time she came beside him with the mugs, the smile returned. “So, tell me,” he began, conversationally, “Did you catch the bad guys you were after?” River’s skin flushed a little. “Don’t you just,” she flirted, trying to keep her mind on the tea instead of the bedroom. She moved the Doctor out of the way with a hip-to-hip nudge and took over minding the tea kettle. After all, he only had eight fingers, and it seemed like they were all thumbs. “We were able to flush out the local ones, yes. Got a name too, for the man in charge.” She was intentionally vague, not only for the sake of the intel they had gathered, but also because she knew the Doctor would not be interested in specifics in this situation. “It all went down without a hitch.” She smiled brightly and filled the tea infusers with her tea. “Naturally.” As the kettle began to whistle, she removed it from the stove and looked over at the Doctor, trying hard to see past his strange new appearance. “So, did I miss anything while I was away?” “Huh?” The question took him off guard and the Doctor had to search his mind for a moment until he came up with the choppy answer, “No, no. Nothing going on. Everything’s been pretty much dull, dull, dull, until yesterday, and all this”, he waved his hand around at their cartoonish surroundings. An emotion was percolating inside the Doctor, which he didn’t like, and though he tried to keep silent about it, he couldn’t help himself. “It’s not that I’m envious that you went on this mission.” As he spoke, he busied himself by collecting the milk and sugar bowl, plus a packet of Jammy Dodgers from a shelf. “You know me, I don’t follow orders, I make my own. I’d want to do the mission my way, and probably get a tongue lashing because of it, even though my way would undoubtedly be better. And it’s not because I was worried that you’d get in trouble out there, because I’ve seen you face off much worse without batting an eyelash.” River’s expression shifted from one of self-assurance to adoration as she read between the lines of the Doctor’s confession. She reached out her hand and cupped his tiny, yellow cheek with her hand. “I missed you too.” In the past, it was not uncommon for them to go years in between their adventures with one another. Time was always a tricky concept in their relationship, even with both of them possessing the ability to command it. But ever since the portal had brought them together on Knowhere, they had scarcely been apart. It was akin to their time on Darillium where they had spent years together. The difference was, only the Doctor knew her fate then. Now, they both knew she was on borrowed time, though lately, they had stopped acting like it. “We’re overdue for an adventure, you and I.” She let her hand fall, but she was still looking intently into his eyes. “Perhaps when you’re a little more pink than yellow,” she added, reframing the moment into one of frivolity once more. Tender emotions usually embarrassed the Doctor, but not with River. Never with River. His limbs hung limply at his sides, and while his face had a tender expression, his cartoon nature gave away his true feelings as tiny hearts blossomed around his head, rose and exploded in a shower of pink and red like a shower of fireworks. This made the Doctor smile, then chuckle. “You’ve got to admit, that’s funny.” Once the hearts all exploded away, he took River’s hands, each with his own, and raised them up to gently kiss her knuckles. “Little hard to go on an adventure when you’re grounded, and at the mercy of the Portal. But I’m pretty sure I can come up with something.” River laughed aloud with the Doctor as they were showered with the cartoon love confetti. “Now tell me how you really feel,” she joked. She continued to beam at him as he took her hands. “We may need to get creative. But you and I know that trouble usually finds us.” “No secrets today, I guess.” The Doctor was a little embarrassed, but he couldn’t help but smile at the sound of his wife’s laughter. Her confidence was also contagious, and he nodded his head once in agreement. “I’ve always been curious about the reports of other UFO sightings that I’ve heard about on this planet, besides this one that happened in Tumbleweed. How about you and I check them out?” “Feeling a little nostalgic for Area 51? I’d have thought you’d had your fill of that place.” River knew there were obviously other UFO sightings on Earth, but could not resist mentioning one of their other adventures together. The Doctor’s eyebrows shot up high on his face in an expression that conveyed that he had something amazing in mind. “I actually have something up my sleeve.” And in true cartoon fashion, he dipped his fingers inside the cuff of the jacket he wore and in a swooshing gesture, pulled out a tablet which otherwise wouldn’t have been able to fit in there. “I’ve been doing a bit of poking around online.” A couple of clicks and a few slides of his finger later, he found what he was looking for, and handed it over to River to show. It was a video of a purported UFO sighting in Mexico. “I don’t know what that is, but it certainly looks promising!” River accepted the tablet eagerly, curious to see what had the Doctor so excited. “Mmhmm,” she hummed and she scrutinized the video. “It very well could be a UFO,” she replied, handing the tablet back to him. “Or a a funnel cloud.” She shrugged, but there was a playfulness to it. “Shall we investigate? Once you are yourself again, of course.” The Doctor’s first reaction was to ask Why not now?, and to run to the Console Room to set coordinates for Mexico, but then he actually stopped and remembered, “Oh yeah, I’m a cartoon. It feels so normal for me, that I keep forgetting.” He smirked then reached for the kettle. “We can still prepare. Check out other sightings.” But not come up with a plan, because the Doctor maintained that his best plans were made at the spur of the moment. River placed the tea infusers in each cup and held them both up for the Doctor to pour the hot water into then placed the cups on their sauces to steep. “You might feel normal, but you certainly don’t look it. I do hope this is one of those brief portal mishaps. It’s all a little too… bright for my taste.” She glanced around the transformed TARDIS and wondered what other animated surprises it had in store for her. Just another day in Tumbleweed. |