Tony Stark (cutsthewire) wrote in thedisplaced, @ 2018-08-22 01:06:00 |
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Toontown was not Fillory. And yet. Julia was uneasy about going in. Tony would be safe. Or at least, Tony would probably be safe, given his own turn at animation. She was probably being ridiculous and overly paranoid. Julia was prone to paranoia but then, she was a magician that had been on more magical quests than her fair share. A little paranoia went a long way. She didn’t want him going in alone and Julia would back him up. It was simple as that. Not having a car herself, she went to his place to meet him. “So are any of your cars animated?” she asked with a frown. She had a sneaking suspicion taking a real car into a cartoon town was an accident waiting to happen. Hopefully he had good insurance. Being turned into a cartoon had begun to lose some of its luster. It had been a novelty at first. Now it was more of a nuisance. His washing machine still was not working the way it should. In fact, Tony was quite sure it was purposefully malfunctioning. Well, jokes on you, suddenly sentient washing machine. He had enough clothes in his closet to go months between washings. No matter how disconcerting it was to see a toon wearing non-cartoon clothing. He was forced to stick with his animated Iron Man armor because his toony biometrics made his other suits go haywire. Not counting all the other ways he had become a walking cartoon trope. Only when testing the limits of his cartoonishness did Tony find himself enjoying his new, and hopefully temporary, state. Almost immediately, Clint had wrangled up his brood of mini-agents, and they had made an art project out of Tony, using markers, crayons, colored pencils, and finger paint to give him a twirly moustache, bright pink hair, and a number of stylish tattoos, all of which proved to be temporary additions to his animation. After a few days of experimenting with the laws of cartoon physics and the like, he was eager to compare his findings with similar experiments in an actual cartoon setting. And, naturally, to a non-animated human in an animated world. And so, on to Toon Town. Tony grinned at Julia. “We could always fly.” He knew she hated the idea, so of course he had to bring it up as often as possible. “Couldn’t you whip us up a portal? Or what if we painted a door on the wall with a sign to Toon Town on it?” He meant it as a joke, but after a second’s consideration, wondered if it actually might work. Julia was glad she was not a cartoon, or who knows what her expression would have comically translated as when she gave Tony a very unamused look. “I think for painting a door to work, the can and the paint would have to be an animated version. We can pick up some supplies when we go to Toontown and experiment?” There was a time when Julia was quite careless with doors. She was remembering that moment, when she began to cast to create a portal into the newest area of town. The light from the cartoon sun, bright colors and happily singing flowers and birds blasted her senses like an instant headache. Julia winced and motioned for Tony to go through the portal first so she could close it behind them afterward. "One of these days, Shrubwitch, you're going to say yes." The smug grin on Tony's face indicated he truly believed as much. Things had begun to return back to normal between the two of them. Tony's mood lightened without the secret of his engagement hanging over his head. And while a part of him was still holding onto the life that he had lived and yet not lived back in New York, he was attempting to take the advice of Rhodes and Julia and focus on his life on this side of the portal. He watched as she created the portal, his self-satisfied smile turning into one of pride. He had really become spoiled when it came to Julia's magic. "On behalf of what remains of my car collection, I thank you." He stepped through the portal into the blinding light of the cartoon sun. "Somehow it's even worse than I imagined," he commented, as a chorus of singing birds dove in and flew circles around his head. But the song was infectious, and Tony suddenly felt the urge to sing along. Once Julia had closed the portal behind them, he reached out to grab her hand. "Let's get out of here before I start singing." “Wait. What if I wanted to hear you start singing?” Julia smirked. “Disney musicals never disappoint.” She was, as childish at it seemed, happy to hold hands and walk with her boyfriend. Not that there weren’t sometimes appraising looks. She knew he was still wrestling with another life, and she tried her hardest to respect what he was going through. But then, sometimes he made it easy to just follow his lead. She didn’t miss him nearly as much now. “I should have brought sunglasses,” she complained. After a few moments of squinting in the harsh lights, she slowly started to adjust. “So new rule,” she said, “no matter where we’re walking, just never, ever look down.” “Do I look like Prince Charming to you?” Tony asked while they dodged the wide variety of cartoon animals that appeared out of nowhere to greet them as they made their way down a road that would hopefully lead them into a town or city that wasn’t quite so... cheery. At her mention of sunglasses, Tony reached into the inside pocket of his suit jacket with his free hand and pulled out a pair of red-tinted glasses with a unique opaque top-half and black bottom-half. This particular pair provided HUD capabilities in addition to blocking the sun and looking stylish. He put them on and glanced down at Julia with an impish look on his face. “Don’t look down? That’s what you’re most afraid of in this place?” Tony figured there was a greater chance of a piano falling on their heads. Julia grinned broadly at Tony Stark’s question. Mentioning Marvel and the movies was a sensitive subject, or she would have been tempted to claim he basically was a Disney prince. Being animated didn’t help any argument against the fact. “I’d say exploding cats, but I’ve already seen that so, yeah. I’m going to go with looking down and finding out I’m about to fall from some great height as my number one fear here.” Though, without prompting, she did give a cursory glance up. Little cartoon birdies chirped at her shoulder, and Julia smiled at them but did not otherwise engage or encourage the cartoons surrounding her. “Exploding cats?” Tony repeated. “What kind of cartoons did you watch?” He wasn't all that familiar with cartoons, outside of the 70s childhood staples. “Try not to do that. I can call my armor, but it might not get here before we’re splats on the pavement.” He made the joke, but then reached up to swipe his index finger twice along the temple of his sunglasses. It had taken some doing, but he had been able to configure the glasses to recognize his cartoon touch. “Hey, JARVIS, can we get a chaperone?” Back at the mansion, his animated armor had activated and was now incoming to their position, ready to catch them if need be. “Better?” he asked Julia. The road they were on finally lead them to the edge of town, which quickly turned into a sprawling city of animated buildings, many of which appeared to be sentient, with faces and everything. “Oh, that wasn’t a cartoon,” Julia said with a frown. “That… actually happened.” The hedgewitch kept an eye out for the armor as it came toward their location. Ruffling her fingers through her hair she changed the subject, “So supplies? Anything you want to try out? Maybe just find a safe observable point and watch the antics unfold themselves?” Tony’s brow furrowed slightly in mild surprise, but sensed it was a topic not to press. Who wanted to discuss exploding cats anyway? Dropping his hold on Julia’s hand, he clapped both of his and rubbed them together. “Right. Supplies.” He had a small list of items to pick up. He had promised Neal he would figure out if cartoon spinach was just for Popeye. He also wanted to see how toon tools would work in his garage back home. But they could do that later. “Now that you mention it, I wouldn’t mind putting my armor through its paces here. What about you? Any interest in testing out the old–” he made a few hand motions in a poor imitation of Julia’s finger tutting, “–here in Toontown?” There was a loud boom in the air above them, and Tony looked up to see his armor flying in at an incredibly high speed. “We might wanna just…” He grabbed Julia around the waist and twirled her, taking a large step to the side as he did so. His armor skidded to a halt about a half an inch above the ground, right where they had been standing. He looked at the suit and then down at Julia, his hands still tightly clasping her waist. Tony shrugged sheepishly. Julia was mid-rolling her eyes at Tony when he moved her safely to to the side of his animated armor. She’d been surprised, and yet didn’t fight in, her hands still gripping his shoulders a little tightly until she was convinced they were safe. “So, we’re in a cartoon. Whatever happens, it’s to serve a comical purpose, right? I’m just going to…” Julia went ahead and cast a quick spell on herself, the same spell she’d cast on Rhodey to make sure water balloons veered gently off course at the the last cookout the two of them attended. It wasn’t pies in the face Julia was worried about avoiding, but sharp and heavier objects that had the potential to hit her with a much less comical effect. “Don’t look down. Use humor as a defense?” Julia paused and looked at Tony, “At least you have that one covered.” Her smile was a little weak but Tony did have a sense of humor, and being animated might also be a bonus in that department. “Let’s find the supplies,” she offered. “Where’s mine?” Tony asked, slightly disappointed that Julia’s magic seemed to look and work no differently in a cartoon setting. At that moment, a golf ball came flying at Tony’s face. When he attempted to duck, the ball changed course so that it hit him in the middle of the forehead where it promptly stuck in the concave depression it created there. A strange hybrid animal that looked like it might be a dog or a bear strolled up to them wearing a v-neck sweater and plus fours, a golf club slung against his shoulder like a baseball bat. “Fore!” it yelled at Tony before plucking the ball from his forehead and shuffling on his way. Tony sighed and looked at Julia, the golf ball-shaped dent still visible on his forehead. “I know, I know. This was my idea.” He rubbed his head vigorously with his hand, and his forehead quickly returned to normal. “Didn’t even get to see stars.” It almost sounded like a complaint. “I think I’m starting to like the sound of the whole ‘safe observable point’ thing.” Julia had to reach up onto her toes to give Tony’s face a brief consolation kiss. Despite not being animated, or wearing animated lipstick, it left a bright red impression of her lips on his face. Julia frowned, “That’s not even the shade I’m wearing.” Making a slightly apologetic face she said, “I’m sure it’ll come off eventually.” At this point, Julia was no longer sure who was supposed to be protecting who, only that they had little choice but to look out for one another. It was the sound of a wolf whistle that momentarily distracted Julia, but when she looked around, there was only Tony and the suit. “Okay, let’s move,” she suggested. “Before I end up tied to railroad tracks or any other cartoony, sexist bullshit.” The first building that did not look alive was a black and white bar. Julia was confused for a few moments until she remembered that cartoons weren’t actually for children back in the day. “It looks a little calmer in here,” she said. Tony frowned and made an attempt to wipe the lipstick away. He raised his eyebrows as a way of asking whether or not he was successful. He was starting to think they should have made a bet on how many cartoon tropes they could tick off on their visit. “So I shouldn’t throw you over my shoulder and carry you away?” Speaking of sexist bullshit. As they walked into the bar, Tony mumbled, “Famous last words,” in reply to Julia’s observation. He had held the door open for her and his armor to pass through, so he was in a prime position to see the color disappear from both of them as they crossed the threshold. He stretched his other hand out into the bar, and it too became black and white. Interesting. He stepped inside. “You were saying?” “You are absolutely allowed to throw me over your shoulder if it’s required to get out of here safely,” Julia said, pointing a finger for emphasis. The black and white aesthetic was less of an assault on her eyes as soft jazz music played in the background. Everything happened to the beat of the music and without realizing it, Tony’s armor, followed by Julia, followed by Tony stepped up to the bar. The bartender had a cute dance that involved wiping down the bar, cleaning glasses and putting drinks in front of the three of them. First the armor sat at the bar, then Julia, then Tony. Then the armor downed his glass of cartoon alcohol, then Julia, but before Tony could throw back his glass to imbibe, Julia threw her hand over his cup and shouted “Wait!” In one drink, both Julia and the armor were cartoon drunk, the transformation immediate. Julia hiccuped, adorable and delightfully. So did the armor. “Don’t drink that,” she warned, her words slurring. The tiny cartoon bartender laughed at her in rhythm to the music. Tony watched the bartender’s routine, noting that it was done to the beat of the jazz tune playing on the jukebox in the back. “You seeing this?” he asked Julia, his brow arched ridiculously high. He caught a glimpse of his armor taking a seat of its own accord, but before he had time to think about the apparent programming changes, he felt compelled to sit himself as soon as Julia did, but only at the appropriate beat. He was beginning to see why this bar was otherwise deserted. When Julia’s hand flew across his glass, he immediately felt untethered from whatever had been keeping his movements in time with the music. He looked over to see his armor swaying, while little cartoon bubbles popped over its head. His attention returned to Julia. “Okay, so that’s a check next to the Cartoon Booze Makes Everyone a Lightweight trope.” Julia hiccuped. It might have been cute had it not made it harder to gather her thoughts while more intoxicated than she had been in a long time. “Tony,” she said finally. “Let’s get your stuff.” Julia put a hand on his shoulder to steady herself. They had at least one sober person among them to navigate Toontown. The problem was that person was not the one who made portals in or out of the area and Tony’s armor was potentially also compromised. It was slightly endearing, seeing Julia in such a state. “Too bad you didn’t think to do your hangover spell too.” As she hiccuped some more and steadied herself against him, Tony slid his arm around her waist to help keep her upright. “Oh I think it’s time to pull the plug on the supply run.” He looked over at his suit, which had stolen the glass intended for him and finished it in one gulp. Tony was the sober person in the group. Now that was funny. Julia’s face fell. “Cartoons get hungover? That’s—“ She hiccuped. Which was annoying. She wasn’t even animated. How did she end up the one cartoon drunk? “—bullshit.” Julia wasn’t sure if she was supposed to pout at Tony or glare at the bar. The resulting confusion lent itself it a priceless expression. “No! We are going to do this. This is—“ Another hiccup. “I only had one drink!” “You’re not a cartoon,” Tony reminded her. “But we get home, I’ll hook you up with my own special blend of pick-me-up. It’s not magic, but it works like it is.” He tried to steer her towards the door. Julia’s legs were only partially solid underneath her. If she had been animated, they might have wobbled like noodles under her. As it was, she didn’t steer particularly well. “We need a portal!” Julia pointed her observation with a hiccup, forgetting for a moment that Tony was trying to direct her elsewhere. Bringing her hands up, her first attempt to cast fizzled with another ill timed hiccup. “Yeah, I think your magic is about as useful as my tech at this point.” Tony’s armor was propped up against the bar, but very slowly leaning forwards, very obviously on its way to an ungraceful faceplant. “Okay, Drunky McWasted.” He scooped up Julia in one fluid movement as if she was as light as a feather and hoisted her over his shoulder like a sack of flour. “Let’s go give my painted door trick a try.” Carrying a drunken, mildly flailing Julia over his shoulder with a drunk suit of armor stumbling after them seemed to be the ticket to moving about Toontown unharassed. It was comical enough that the animated reality of the neighborhood let them be. “Are you wearing— hic!— shoulder pads?” she asked. She didn’t remember how they got back home. Julia recalled looking behind them, hands occasionally braced against Tony’s surprisingly solid back, to see his stumbling armor making weird faces at her that she couldn’t quite interpret. “Toon Tony works his delts.” He loosened his grip on Julia’s legs so that she slid down his body and back onto her feet. Tony placed a steadying hand on her hip before guiding her own hand to balance herself on the counter of his workshop kitchenette. They were back at his mansion, having successfully departed Toontown by way of a cartoon portal of Tony’s own making. The paint trick had worked, but lest he lead a bunch of cartoons to his front door, he painted one to the Chuck E. Cheese knockoff a few blocks away. Seemed like a better option than Trigger Town. Once out of the cartoon circus, his armor had thankfully returned to its regularly scheduled programming, but his girlfriend had not. As promised, he set to work making his trademark chlorophyllic pick-me-up. “That went well,” he joked, handing her the foamy, pickle-green drink. “Different game plan for next time?” Julia nodded her head in agreement, mostly managing the up and down motion. It was very unfair the armor had been so quick to bounce back. “Ear plugs,” she said, motioning to the sides of her face. “Enchanted so music won’t fuck with us next time.” At least she wasn’t hiccuping and appeared to be within a normal, non-animated range of intoxicated. Her hand barely found the glass of green liquid and she took a sip. “A plus boyfriending,” she said. “No side trips into jazz bars,” Tony suggested. He plopped down on a nearby sofa, took his glasses off, and set them in the center of the coffee table before kicking his feet up and leaning back into the cushions. “Hey, JARVIS. You wanna download the footage of Toontown for analysis?” He glanced over at Julia to see how she was fairing with the drink. “A+, huh? You must have really lowered the bar.” But he smiled warmly anyway. Drunk Julia nodded to be agreeable and after a two second delay said, “Nope.” Even drunk, she knew she needed to drink fluids to avoid a disaster once she came out of intoxication. She’d had Stark’s green mysterious drink of choice before. It wasn’t actually bad. The texture was a little frothy. Once she had the glass half empty and was reasonably certain she wouldn’t spill it, Julia followed Tony onto the couch and sat down. “This is me not making a sex tape joke. I’m very proud of me.” Julia grinned after Tony asked JARVIS for analysis. In order to properly feign drunken innocence, Julia continued drinking her green froth. Tony's eyebrow arched comically high at the mention of a sex tape. “JARVIS provides excellent color commentary,” he joked. “For future reference.” He watched Julia for a moment, then reached out to brush her hair behind her ear. “You wanna stay here, or should I take you home? We can reconvene later to plan our next trip.” Julia laughed, too drunk to know if it was the truth or not. It was funny either way. Her head rolled slightly on her shoulders to watch Tony as he spoke. “I’m not sure…” Julia’s eyes trailed up as the rest of that sentence floated away from her. “...I’m a lot of fun right now.” That wasn’t originally what she meant to say, but Julia surprised herself when that made sense. “I can sleep this off at home. Probably less obnoxious.” She shrugged. “I haven’t been this drunk since that Bacchus party. Ugh. What a dick.” Tony wasn’t sure if that was fully a yes or a no to taking her home. It had somehow seemed like both. “Thor. See, I can name-drop gods too. That guy could probably drink Bacchus under the table.” He leaned over a bit to nudge her shoulder with his. “You’re the one with the buzz. What do you want to do?” “I’m pretty sure Margo slept with Thor,” Julia said. Because drunk logic stated that she should add to the conversation about Thor. Her eyebrows went up when Tony asked her a new question, and she forgot about the gods. “Exactly, I’m the drunk one. I think if we’re going to continue this you have to catch up or it’s not fair.” Julia peered at him pseudo seriously. “Continue what? Is this about our sex tape, because I’d actually prefer to be sober for that.” Julia gave him a playful shove. That wasn’t technically a no. “I’d prefer to be sober. No, I mean, hanging out with me. I don’t think it’s fair to either of us that you’re sober right now.” “Sticking a pin in that for later,” Tony replied enthusiastically as he mimed the action. He took his feet down from the coffee table and turned toward her a bit more. “You’re the one who stopped me from drinking back at the jazz joint, rendering me the responsible one. Now you want me to play catch up?” “Could you imagine us trying to get out of Toontown if all three of us were wasted?” Julia said. She gestured to the workshop around them, “Now we’re basically safe. Mixing alcohol and heavy machinery… probably not great… but other than that.” Tony nodded. “All right, I’ll give you that.” He cast a quick glance over his shoulder towards the stairs to his wine cellar. “Say I grab a bottle from downstairs. What’s the rest of the evening look like?” Julia held up a hand and started to count. One: “Immature.” Two: “Shenanigans.” Quentin was perhaps the only other soul on Earth who ever got to see the more playful, even silly side of Julia. She was normally wound up so tightly, so seriously. It came down to a level of trust and a desire to see Tony smile and/or roll his eyes. “Truth or dare?” she offered. “So basically the 90s,” Tony replied, referring to a time in his life best summed up by those two words. Not that Julia would have any frame of reference on the matter. He was quick to add, pointing a finger in her direction, “This is the part where you don’t remind me that you spent part of that decade in utero.” He shook his head slightly in that what the hell am I doing with my life kind of way and got to his feet. Turning toward Julia, he held out his hand. “Shall we?” Because why not? “I promise I won’t let you fall down the stairs.” Julia smiled broadly, drawing a finger across her lips and pretending to throw away the key. She then took his hand and stood up, pulling herself closer to him than she meant to and nearly head butting his chin. That earned another laugh as she held onto him for balance. Tony rolled his eyes, but there was a smile on the other end. “Such a lightweight.” He picked her up and just as he had in Toontown, threw her over his shoulder and started walking toward the staircase. “I hope you’re prepared to tell me a lot of truths, because you know what my first dare’s gonna be.” |