who: Alice Quinn & Takashi 'Shiro' Shirogane when: June 30th, Early Afternoon where: Near JJ's Diner What: Seeing the very noticeable physical changes to his appearance, Alice doesn't think better about rushing out to ask Shiro want happened. warnings: Spoilers for Season 6 of Voltron. status: Complete.
People still felt overwhelming in a way that Shiro wasn't used to. He had always been at ease with groups, but now that he was so heavily inundated with memories of being in the Black Lion, being around people felt … strange.
The paladins were one thing, but Shiro had barely left the house since he had woken up with a head full of jumbled memories and minus one arm.
He was still adjusting to the arm. Losing it both was and wasn't what he had wanted. He could have never left it attached to his body after what he had seen that thing transform into and how it had attacked Keith. It wouldn't have mattered how much coding Pidge had done.
But Shiro also didn't have any memories of being without his arm. (It was entirely possible the Galra had removed his human arm and immediately replaced it.) That alone would have been enough to adjust to, but he was also missing what had been his most reliable weapon. He couldn't fight now if he needed to.
He had made a little more peace with that by knowing his head also wasn't in the right space for a fight.
His first trip outside wasn't anywhere crowded. It was to the edge of town to watch the airplanes take off and land.
…
Alice had barely done much else than rotate between sleep, the resettlement bureau, and study. Granted, this had been the case ever since she had gotten her last batch of memories, but she now no longer felt guilt for having dedicated all her spare time to observation and continued education.
There was a part of her that was uncomfortable with the aspects of continuing her study. She had been willing to sabotage the return of magic all together and sacrifice every relationship she had ever known in the process. She had been willing to sacrifice herself and become another person entirely. She knew the truth about herself.
She couldn't deny the temptation of magic but she knew it was only made things worse. It had seemed like the only way. And yet now? She was enveloped in study of it once again. Every waking hour was spent with it. This was a necessity. She had to be prepared should the stability of this place ever change. Should the creature ever arrive.
Still, even she needed to eat, and Alice Quinn had an affinity for breakfast foods and sugar. JJ's diner was a frequent spot for her. She had just finished up a heaping plate of bacon, with a side waffle, and had stepped out onto the main street. Casting her gaze up and down, she noted how few people were out today, and how one in particular was heading in the direction of the airfield.
An armless man with pure white hair.
She stared for a moment, lips parting as if to call out, but she stopped herself. It couldn't be. Only, with a focused gaze and a few moments of observation, she had no doubt.
"Shiro?" The name broke from her, loud enough to be heard and carried weight, and she found herself advancing across the street. What had happened?
…
Shiro turned at the sound of his name before he fully realized who it was heading toward him.
Alice.
His chest panged with a familiar pain that had grown fainter during the last few days but not entirely away.
There was a less familiar pain there, too. Something more like uncertainty and embarrassment, and it had been a long time since he had felt either with Alice. He was just even more aware of this body, how it both was and wasn't his, of the terrible things it had done. And how it was the only thing that still allowed him to be here.
“Alice,” he answered.
…
She had picked up her pace to get her across the street quickly. When he had turned toward her, any shred of doubt was gone, because he was looking ahead at her. This wasn't a shared face, like was so common with the people in the community, this was Shiro. She could pick him out without an effort from a crowd. She had known him so well this past year.
Coming to him, and only now realizing perhaps he did not want to see her, she withheld the urge to reach out for him. She kept her hand still by her side but her eyes were frantic, taking in every little change, and her expression was not marked. There was surprise, concern and confusion. All emotions that, by any definition, she had given up the right to express. At least to him.
Still, the emotions were there, and finally her frantic eyes shifted to gaze into his. "What happened?" Pidge and Matt had been working on his arm. It hadn't been an issue last she had known. Why was it gone now? Had there been another issue come up since she had last seen him?
…
Shiro tracked the emotion in Alice’s eyes and expression. His chest tightened marginally at the reminder that she had said that how she felt about him hadn't changed. Everything else had.
How strange to think how involved with this she would have been if he had gotten these memories only a little bit sooner. He might have been with her when it had happened.
“I got, and lost, some things from the future,” Shiro answered.
…
Her eyes had gone back to where his arm used to be. Never had she known him without the mechanical replacement. It had been there from their first meeting and it was such a part of him that she couldn't imagine him without it. But it was clearly missing now. "The portal took it away?" She asked, trying to reel in the sound of her voice, and the feel of panic that was building in the pit of her stomach.
She had been so fixated on preventing the portal from giving her friends memories, and modifying their bodies, that she hadn't considered the likelihood that it could affect Shiro. He was in just as dangerous of a lifestyle back home as the Brakebills alumni were.
Her eyes cast back upward. He didn't look any older but the white strands of hair were jarring to see. "I…"
She what? What was there she could even say?
…
Shiro faltered for a moment on how to explain what had happened to his arm. The portal taking it away seemed too neat.
He didn't know how much information was okay to share with her, but he wasn't really used to hiding from Alice, so he only put in a minimal amount of effort in doing so now.
“Keith had to cut it off in our world,” Shiro said, the answer perhaps a bit clipped because it also didn't cover the complexity of what had happened. He paused. “A lot happened. Physically.” He found that he couldn't yet tell her that he died, and that, even though it looked similar, this wasn't really the same body.
…
She didn't bother trying to finish her train of thought. Her lips came together, cutting off the sound, and she watched and listened to the explanation.
That was likely the truth but it was just the surface of it. She could tell that he was holding pieces back. And he'd simplified what he was saying. She kept her lips pressed together as she mulled over what to say now.
If Keith cut it off in their world, did that mean it disappeared with memory or he actively removed it here? She drew in a breath. "I see that."
…
“It'll be okay,” Shiro said, half to reassure her and half because he didn't know what else to say.
“The paladins are taking care of me,” Shiro added, because he thought that might be a genuine comfort and because it was true, here and back home.
….
She found herself wanting to ask more questions. Why had Keith had to do that? What caused his other change? What other memories had come? Was he actually okay?
The second statement made her gaze travel back to meet his. "I didn't doubt that," she spoke quietly. They were his family, after all. She brought her hand up to brush her hair back behind her ear.
"I'm sorry I bothered you. I just…" A pause. "... was worried. "
…
“No,” Shiro said, and he knew it was too quickly but there it was all the same. “You didn't bother me. Thank you. For checking.”
He paused and he knew this was likely going to be when she pulled away, but he asked all the same: “How are you?”
…
She felt a sense of relief at the fact that he didn't appear to be put off by her questions. She didn't give him quite a smile but she looked a little more comfortable.
But his next question did make her want to do just that. She had stopped telling him how she was long before she broke things off. It was easier, in her eyes, to try to cope alone. She didn't think Charles would agree. "Busy," she answered. It wasn't a lie but it was essentially a non answer.
…
Shiro nodded, not surprised in the least that she wasn't going to share with him. He vaguely wondered when this had happened to them and if there was anything he could have done to stop it. He had just been so sure that crowding her was the wrong thing to do. But what he had done wasn't right either.
Maybe it was for the best, he tried to tell himself. He wasn't exactly a mess, but he had gone through a lot. You died, he reminded himself. But he missed her all the same, especially when it continued to be evident that she still cared about him and he still cared about her.
…
The silence was noted. She couldn't hold that against him though. It wasn't as though she had given him much to go on. She shifted, looking over her shoulder in the direction of JJ's, before her gaze turned back to him. She pulled in a breath.