Kell Maresh (antari) wrote in thedisplaced, @ 2018-06-29 23:22:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log/thread, holland vosijk, kell maresh |
WHO: Kell and Holland
WHAT: Kell and Holland meet up in Mexico
WHEN: Saturday, June 30
WHERE: Mexico
WARNINGS: None
Kell was a little in love with Mexico.
He loved being able to travel here. There were some restrictions, of course, but that usually entailed whatever oddness the portal was throwing at them. Other than that, the world was practically open to them.
And Mexico was so different from any other place that Kell had been before, and that was what he loved about it. He loved the sound of the language. He loved the food. He loved how different the architecture looked compared to everything else his eyes had beheld.
He was fine with attending the Pride events -- happy, as ever, to see Rhy happy. But he felt like something of a third wheel after awhile, could only stand so much of Alucard Emery, and the crowds became overwhelming in their intensity.
He’d left Rhy with Alucard, terribly aware of what his brother was imbibing as he began to stroll through one of the parks of Mexico City.
…
Holland had taken advantage of the portals to the pride parades in order to get to other countries easily, but he was not interested in the parades themselves. He was out of place in them, but that didn’t bother him. He had seen Rhy and Alucard on the way to Shanghai earlier in the month, and so was not really surprised to see them again on their way to Mexico City; however, he was surprised to see Kell going through the portal with them. Nevertheless, he kept his distance, and once they were through, he made his way out of the crowd, wandering around the city.
He was in the habit of closely guarding and covering the scent of his magic, so as not to be tracked. But he had a sneaking suspicion that Kell might try to find him, either that or he would appreciate being able to avoid him, so he allowed just a glimmer of it to slip through, leaving a trail behind him. He acquired a map, and made his way to the Museo Nacional de Culturas Populares, but he had not exchanged his money for Mexican currency, so he did not end up going in. He ended up instead in the nearby park, Viveros de Coyoacán, wandering through the trees.
Eventually, he ended up at the remains of a chapel in the midst of it, and lingered there, looking at it. After a while he sensed Kell nearby, and without turning, he said simply, “Hello, Kell.”
--
Kell’s feelings had settled, if not dissipated, since the other man’s arrival. Their relationship had never been a simple thing, and it didn’t seem likely to become one any time soon. That was the main thing that reading the books had underscored to Kell.
He had accepted that Holland was unlikely to be an active threat even if Holland, of all people, had hurt him more than any other human alive in the past.
Still.
Still -- he had appreciated when Holland had unexpectedly offered him the book of Antari magic. He’d been unable to explain why that had reached him in the midst of the sadness of his memories. He didn’t know why, but he’d been unable to fully explain everything to Rhy. He knew he could tell Rhy anything, and he knew Rhy would be empathetic, but there just seemed to be something about his memories he couldn’t explain or didn’t think Rhy would understand.
And it made him uncomfortable to know that Holland might.
“Holland,” Kell answered in greeting.
…
When Kell actually answered him, Holland turned his head to look at the other Antari. For once, he did not look thoroughly unhappy to be in Holland’s presence -- and he had, in fact, purposefully sought him out. He also could have used the trail of Holland’s magic to make sure that they didn’t cross paths.
“How was the parade?” he asked, mildly. He had no interest in the parade, but he also didn’t know particularly what reason Kell might have for following him, so it was as good a question as any.
--
“Loud,” Kell said. “Bright.”
It wasn’t necessarily his sort of an idea of a good time, but he had enjoyed watching -- because it was a happy, festive occasion, and because he understood well enough the struggles that Rhy had at home because of his dalliances with men. And those he would likely continue to face with Alucard. He might have not cared for Alucard Emery, but Kell rarely passed up an opportunity to support Rhy when it truly mattered.
…
Holland nodded. It was an accurate description. “Not what you came for, was it?”
Kell was a much louder and more colorful person than Holland was, but he was still reclusive, which Holland supposed was a side effect of the power of their magic, forcing them to stand out whether they liked it or not. Holland understood that part.
--
Kell shrugged. It certainly wasn’t the main part of why he had come here. He would have likely come anyway, if Rhy had asked, but seeing Mexico was more of why Kell had been interested. They had been planning to travel for quite awhile, so he knew that wouldn’t come as a surprise or hurt Rhy in any way.
“Only in part,” Kell answered.
...
“Why are you here?” Holland asked, his voice still mild. He expected an answer as vague as the ones that Kell had been giving, but maybe he would actually get a specific one, if he was lucky. The reason might well be only that he had followed Holland to make sure that Holland wasn’t doing anything he shouldn’t be. Holland wanted to get beyond that part, but he also didn’t have high expectations.
--
“I’ve just been walking around,” Kell answered. “I wasn’t following you,” he clarified, because he wondered if that was what Holland had really been asking.
Of course, he had been aware of Holland, of his magic. He could have avoided him if he hadn’t wanted to, but he hadn’t.
…
“Mm,” Holland murmured. He put his hands in his pockets. Kell hadn’t followed him, but he also hadn’t avoided him, which made sense, but there also wasn’t much to say in response to that. He didn’t particularly feel like ruining a perfectly good day by starting a conversation that would only end in Kell being angry at him again.
But this was also a rare opportunity in which Kell didn’t appear to be already in a mood, and there was no Osaron, no Danes pulling Holland’s strings to pit them against each other. And he wanted, for some reason, to make the most of it.
“Have you found the book helpful?” he asked, after a moment of silence.
--
“Yes,” Kell answered, taking the olive branch for what it was -- because he had genuinely been touched and surprised that Holland had offered it to him. He knew that Holland hadn’t known what had been happening with him, but it had been particularly helpful when he’d been lost in the tumultuous emotions of remembering his origins.
“Where did you get it from?” Kell asked. He wouldn’t have thought it would be easy to get a hold of in White London.
...
“Where do you think?’ Holland asked, a little bitterly. “The Danes. They wanted to make sure I was as useful as possible.” He looked up at the chapel. “I’d say it’s better in your hands, but it’s probably still also back in the castle somewhere.”
--
Kell half regretted the question, because the answer made sense, of course. Of course Athos Dane had tracked down every bit of Antari information existed in White London. With that perspective, it was almost a surprise that he hadn’t found more. But he supposed that Athos might have. That didn’t mean that Holland had ever seen it.
“Have you tried all of the magic in there?” Kell asked instead.
…
“Yes,” Holland said, and he knew that there were spells in there that Kell wouldn’t approve of. But under the circumstances, he’d very rarely had a choice. He had been required to know, to use the magic however his masters had seen fit to ask of him.
He wasn’t really bothered about talking about them. They were dead. He hadn’t gotten to kill them, but nevertheless, they were gone, and he remembered that with every second because he had the freedom of full control over his actions. “I don’t recommend using all of them unless you really need them.”
--
Kell wasn’t surprised -- or offended -- by the answer. He knew Holland’s lack of control over his own magic, and he also knew the sort of magic that White London had called for.
Still, Holland was right in that there were spells in there that Kell would, hopefully, never use.
“Which did you find useful?” Kell asked, trusting Holland to omit the ones that wouldn’t be as relevant in a world outside of White London.
…
“I like As Narahi,” Holland answered, after a moment’s thought. “But it takes a great deal of energy.”
He wasn’t sure if that was a new spell for Kell to have heard about, but he doubted it was one that Kell had tried. Even Holland had not needed it very many times, which was possibly in part because the Danes more often had wanted to watch people suffer slowly than they had needed multiple people killed off at once.
--
Kell hesitated for a moment, because he wasn’t sure if he was going to overstep his boundaries here, but --
“Have you ever come across Antari spells that work with multiple Antari?” Maybe they didn’t exist. Maybe they had and had been lost. The rings certainly indicated that Antari had worked magic together at some point.
...
Holland turned his head to look directly at Kell. “No.”
He knew about the binding rings that they were going to use, and how that meant his magic would be combined with both Kell’s and Lila’s. In a world where the binding rings existed, it was not an unreasonable assumption that there might be other spells for Antari to use together -- and it was a cleverer one than he had expected from Kell, but Kell had a habit of surprising him. He was vaguely pleased by it, though he didn’t show it. “Why?”
--
“I was curious,” Kell said with a light shrug. And it really wasn’t anything more than that -- his simple but profound want to know more about what he was and what they could have been together at one point in time.
He wondered if it was still possible for them to create something together anyway. He wondered if Holland would even be interested in trying.
…
Holland raised his eyebrows. “Is that your way of saying you’re interested in working with me?”
He had strong doubts about that; more likely Kell was thinking of Lila. The female Antari had no love for Holland, but she and Kell certainly seemed to work well together, and probably would, long after Holland was gone.
…
Kell bristled at the bluntness of the question because it wasn't how he would have worded it, even though it was technically true.
“We don't really have anything to work on, do we?” Kell responded, which certainly wasn't a strong denial. Kell couldn't deny that he was and always had been curious about the sort of magic they could work together.
…
“No,” Holland answered. He hadn’t meant to make Kell angry at him, but it seemed that he could not manage to avoid doing that, no matter what he said. In an attempt to smooth it over, he added, “But I am willing to work with you, if you have a particular idea.”
There were few people Holland would have offered to work with, without knowing the terms of their partnership. Actually, there were no others that he would do such a thing for. But for all the strife between them, he knew Kell, had known him for years, and even though Kell could still surprise him, it would not be in such a way as to disrupt their mutual goals: for Holland to go home and defeat Osaron.
--
“All right,” Kell agreed. Despite the conversation, it stung Kell’s pride a little to admit that working magic with Holland was something he might want. But at this point, he felt he had little to lose. It was true. Holland had to have known it all this time.
…
Holland was still surprised by how readily Kell agreed. He turned his head to look carefully at Kell’s expression, examining it, but it didn’t tell him much.
“Can I ask,” he said, “What’s changed?”
Maybe it was the books, which had finally provided Kell with some of the answers he needed about Holland’s motivations. Or maybe it was that Holland had given him the Antari book, truly without any expectations attached. In truth, the thing was useless to him now, and was associated with bad memories of being enslaved, and he was glad to be rid of it. But also satisfied that Kell had found some use in it.
--
Kell hesitated for a moment. Because, in truth, it was partially the books. Knowing that Holland atoned for his sins in some way and did save Kell’s world and brother, even if many others died, began to bridge that gap. In part, it was because his memory charm had broken, and he knew there was only one person alive who understood what it was like to lose a family because of Antari power.
And in part it was because this was the first time they they had ever spoken while they were under their own power.
“You,” Kell finally decided on saying, which was mostly but not entirely the truth.
...
“Me?” Holland asked, surprised again. He did not think he had changed. Probably what Kell meant was that he finally understood Holland better, finally believed him that their views and motives were aligned now. But he chose not to immediately argue, waiting instead for Kell to elaborate.
--
Kell tilted his head a little, surprised that Holland was so taken aback by the answer. At the very least, Holland belonging to the Danes had never afforded them the opportunity to really collaborate. Kell had understood the limitations in that, even if he had still dearly wanted Holland to reach out to him in some way.
“Could we have had this conversation at any other time?” Kell settled for asking.
…
Holland considered that. He didn’t necessarily need to press for the details of the subject, but it did seem somewhat important to establish that they were truly at some level of understanding, if they were going to begin to work together. Or even spend more time around each other, if they didn’t want to spend that time fighting.
“Circumstances and misunderstandings have been in the way previously,” he said finally. “Those have changed. But I don’t think I have.”
--
On second thought, this was one of the most Holland conversations he had ever had. But it wasn’t worth fighting over it. So, he rolled his eyes and sighed and let it go.
“All right,” Kell agreed. “Circumstances have changed.”
...
Holland nodded. He had gotten an eyeroll, but Kell didn’t really seem angry, and he had agreed. That was probably the best response he could have hoped for.
“I’m interested in traveling,” he said, returning to the earlier conversation. “I’ve been saving up, and taking advantage of these… pride portals… to leave a mark in various places.” He paused. “You’re welcome to come with me.”
--
“I’d like that,” Kell agreed with a nod. He knew that his relationship with the other Antari was never going to be simple and maybe he never would forgive Holland for what happened back home, but neither could he deny that he didn’t want to travel and learn more Antari magic. And so it happened that Holland had always been the other Antari in his life.
…
Holland glanced over at him, still surprised by how quickly Kell agreed. But pleasantly, this time. He actually smiled a little, and looked away. “I’m going to leave a mark here,” he said. “And then we could start by exploring the rest of this city.”
--