Kurt Wagner (fuzzy_elf) wrote in thedisplaced, @ 2018-06-15 09:31:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log/thread, kurt wagner / nightcrawler (616), napoleon solo |
Who: Napoleon Solo, Kurt Wagner
When: Wednesday, June 6, not long after this exchange.
Where: U.N.C.L.E. Penthouse
What: Kurt reveals his mind about his sexuality and Napoleon gives advice.
Warnings: I would say, no.
Status: Complete in Gdocs
Napoleon had been working in his art corner of the penthouse, when he had received the message from Kurt asking if they could talk. He suspected he knew what it was about already, but kept his answer simple and short. Door's open, come over. And then he set about cleaning up his workspace and setting aside his latest piece of art - a wire metalwork of Kori that he had started a few weeks ago and hadn't quite finished yet. Throwing a cloth covering over it, the half finished wire piece disappeared from few.
Examining himself in a nearby mirror he kept for self-portraits and references, he scrutinized the smudges of grease covering him here and there. He considered hopping into the shower before Kurt got there, but decided to forgo it for now. There was no telling if Kurt would be there in an instant or if he would do things the old fashion way and Napoleon didn't want to be a bad host and keep the other man waiting. Heading to the kitchen instead, he rooted around the fridge for something cool to drink and then entertained himself on his cell phone until Kurt arrived.
The topic on Kurt’s mind had been ruminating there for a while now, ever since the last time he brought it up to Napoleon over the network.. It was the first time he’d ever admitted to anybody about his man-crush for Logan, and had wondered if there was more to it than just that. Summer vacation for EPS started on the 15th, and soon after that they’d be going on their bus trip where Kurt volunteered to be a chaperone - Kurt really wanted to have this discussion before they left, so he could maybe find some resolution. At least for himself.
Once he got his reply, Kurt checked himself in the mirror to make sure he was presentable to the public, then BAMF! He appeared on the veranda in the back, where the pool and jacuzzi was located. The temptation to jump into the water on such a warm day was resisted, and Kurt rapped on the sliding glass door to get Napoleon’s attention.
Out of the corner of his eyes, he spotted the burst of bluish smoke that signaled Kurt’s arrival in the backyard. It would never cease to amaze Napoleon that there were people out there capable of such amazing abilities. Rogue was always surprising him with her many abilities and Kurt, with his showmanship, was right up there with her.
Walking over to the sliding door when Kurt drew his attention to it, he smiled as he opened it for the mutant. “Herr Wagner. Spectacular entrance, as always.” He stepped aside, allowing Kurt space to walk through. “Would you like something to drink? A snack? Pardon my appearance, I would have showered, but I didn't want to make you wait.”
Whatever desire to stay outside and enjoy the pool was erased when Kurt felt that sudden burst of air conditioning when the door was slid open. The temperature was in the 100’s, although the humidity was gratefully low. Kurt entered, and gave Napoleon’s appearance a quick glance. “It’s alright,” he dismissed any concerns Napoleon might have. “You look fine. I’ve definitely seen worse among the X-Men. Whew! It’s hot! Fur isn’t really conducive to this heat. An icy drink would be great.”
As he strolled over to the sofa where he sat with his legs drawn up, perched more than sitting in a way that was more comfortable for him. “Is… are your housemates around?” he asked, trying not to be too obviously nervous, wondering whether or not they’d be able to speak in private without anybody walking in on them or interrupting.
Pulling out a beer, matching the open one he had been drinking from when Kurt had arrived, Napoleon twist the cap off and handed the man the glass bottle as he made his way over to the sofa Kurt was perched on. Amused at his peculiar way of sitting, he took a seat on the matching armchair.
Gesturing to the house around them, neck of his beer pinched between his forefinger and thumb, he explained, “It’s just us here today. You can speak as freely as you like, Kurt.”
Kurt held up and read the label of the beer and approved of its quality - a fine, imported brand. “Das ist gut,” he said with a grin, lifting the drink in a toast of thanks to Napoleon. “Not the stuff that they make in the United States. Gaby must’ve bought it, ja?” Naturally he assumed that, being a fellow German and thus a natural expert on the topic, like himself.
After taking a sip, Kurt’s smile faded and he looked down at the floor, fidgeting with the bottle in his hand. “Before the ball, I had a conversation with a dear, old friend of mine over the network. Kitty Pryde, you’ve met her, perhaps?” He glanced up to check Napoleon’s reaction, before continuing. “She took another friend of ours to the ball, Illyana. It was the first time she’d ever went out with another woman. She told me she’d been interested for a long while, but never acted upon it until now. The date was sort of a trial run, of sorts. She considered her friendship much more important than a physical relationship, and I have to agree. That... was the reason why I never made any advances toward Logan. That, plus he never showed an interest in other men, so I didn’t want to put my neck out and make it awkward between us.”
He paused to gather his thoughts, taking another sip before continuing. “I grew up in a circus, and as you can image, full of flamboyant performers. A more liberal minded group, you’ll never find. They accepted me as a foundling, and raised me as if my unique appearance was nothing out of the ordinary. Their acceptance is what has given me the strength I have today. But they were also very sexually open.” Another pause, as he remembered his old life. “I was never attracted to other men, but not uncomfortable with the idea. That is why I have no problem dancing with Q or any other man at these parties. But having acknowledged my feelings for Logan for what they are, I’ve become curious in a way that I hadn’t been before.”
At Kurt's praise of his choice in beer, which was, yes, Gaby’s choice in beer, Napoleon grinned and clinked his bottle with Kurt's. “Prost,” he said, before taking a pull of his drink. “Gaby did recommend it during the last shopping trip. I can't say I don't like it.”
Listening to Kurt talk about his upbringing and Kitty, making various noises of acknowledgment when Kurt paused in his talking, Napoleon felt for the other man and the obvious confusion he was probably going through. He remember being much younger and realizing that maybe he wasn't exactly as heterosexual as he had thought.
“Well, there's one thing to be said in all this,” the spy said, eyebrows raised, “If you can handle being your beautiful blue self around people, this will be nothing comparatively. You have to remember something else as well - there's absolutely no need to make any big announcements unless you feel like you want to. I've found that while some people will whisper, absolutely no one cares enough about whether you like dancing with other men or taking them home with you. Not enough to give you grief over it, you know? So if you decide you want to explore these feelings you're now acknowledging, no one is going to stop you. Treat it like how you would treat approaching a woman you would be interested in - that is to say with respect - and you'll be fine.”
Kurt silently drank and listened attentively to what Napoleon had to say. The part about it not being necessary to make any big announcements visibly took a load off his shoulders, as the tension that had unknowingly built in Kurt’s body, relaxed. “I don’t know why this makes me feel so apprehensive. Everybody who knows me knows how affectionate I am, and a flirt. People have seen me dancing with other men at the balls. And it’s not like I’ve ever heard of anybody being activity discriminated or harassed because of their sexuality around here… everybody’s been pretty cool. Besides, it’s not like I’m not used to being discriminated against, for being a mutant, for looking the way I do.” He lowered his head and sighed. “I guess underneath all my bravido, I’m pretty insecure.”
After a moment of self reflection, Kurt lifted his head and looked at Napoleon. “I think it’s because I’ve thought of myself in a certain way for all my life, and now that that’s shifting, it feels like unsteady ground. Uncharted territory.”
“Any time you approach a new situation, especially when the cause of the new situation is you, is bound to make you uncertain of your actions and words. Honestly though? I think you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. It’s easy to see why the bravado is so believable - I don’t believe all of it is an act. I think you were,” here, Napoleon paused to find the right word or phrase for it, “Uncertain before, but now that you’re aware that there’s something more to your flirtations with men, I honestly don’t think you should be too concerned about how to move forward.”
Scratching at his chin, thinking, he asked, “Tell me, do you have any moral objections to men being with other men?”
“Oh no!” Kurt responded emphatically. “Even though the Church’s official stance was against it since forever, I couldn’t agree with that part.” He shook his head slowly. “I told you about my upbringing. I knew too many gay people, wonderful, loving people, to believe they were going to hell. I’m so glad this new Pope is much more open and understanding than his predecessors.”
“Then, honestly, Kurt, nothing’s stopping you from living your life the way you choose. I wouldn’t worry too much about it, though I know you’re not. I know this is just you just figuring yourself out, but I hope it helps you quell any nervousness you’ve been feeling, thinking everything over,” Napoleon said, kindly. “For myself, I try not to put a label on myself and do what feels right, rather than worrying about who has what parts. And I never had to make a big announcement about who I was. I just started to feel more comfortable around those that I call friends to start flirting more openly in front of them with whoever I chose to.”
“Danke schön!,” Kurt said, from the bottom of his heart. “I have always tried to live by that philosophy, but it’s nice to hear it being reiterated by somebody who feels the same way. But I only have one question more.” He tipped back the bottle to drain the remaining liquid from his bottle, then smirked and said, “May I have another?”