WHO: Lance & Keith WHEN: March 18, early morning WHERE: their suite bedroom’s balcony WHAT: Memory bumps sure are a head ache. WARNINGS: I don’t think there are any? Lots of feels thoughts.
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Lance peered over the banister of the small balcony that attached to his and Keith’s room. Below, the waves were lopping up against the ship as it cut through whatever unknown body of water they were in. Somewhere behind them was Camelot and the Enchanted Forest. It was only yesterday they’d left, but it felt like ages to Lance. And then it didn’t at all.
That was the problem.
He could chalk it up to a vivid dream, but there was perfect recall that spanned weeks. Even months. That wasn’t in there yesterday, but at the same time it felt like it had always been there. A layer of memories trying to exist in the same space that another set was already existing. Keith was with the Blade of Marmora just as he’d been for a while. Except that wasn’t right… they had both been in Tumbleweed, and now here…
“Ugh,” Lance murmured, drooping so fully over the railing that his chin notched against the cool metal. Breakfast was probably being served up by now, but he couldn’t stand to think about his stomach when his head was spinning.
Keith vaguely registered Lance getting up through the comfortable sleep haze. A minor protest. The shift of the bed. Flopping over to make up for missing presence he’d been leaning against. A fleeting half-formed thought about the bathroom. Just normal morning stuff. The fact that Lance wasn’t still in bed didn’t fully pierce the sleep fog and brush it aside until, well, a combination of expected things didn’t happen. One: none of the usual bathroom noises. Two: too much time passed for normal bathroom activities. Three: that too much time was enough that he was starting to miss the added warmth in the bed that Lance’s body gave.
That had him awake enough to zero in on the ‘ugh’ coming from… not the direction of in the room or bathroom? Pushing himself up, he scanned the room before he focused intently on the boy standing out on the balcony. His brow furrowed as he slid out of bed and padded over to the sliding door. He frowned more, taking in Lance’s posture against the rail, which didn’t make sense.
“Are you actually seasick?” he asked haltingly. It didn’t seem likely at all, but he couldn’t really tell if Lance had a pale or green tinge to his skin and that would explain the ugh and hanging over the railing like he was…
Lance had closed his eyes, trying to focus on the waves and the sound they made if only to keep his mind from flitting around and trying to make sense of what currently felt like nonsense. He didn’t hear the screen door move. He didn’t notice the approaching figure…
Keith’s voice drew him upright out of surprise, but when Lance realized that was ridiculous -- of course it would be Keith -- he slumped back down a bit. “Nah.” There was a loose gesture out at the water. “Just thinking.”
There was a pause. “Or trying to stop myself from thinking. Both? Maybe both.” Lance sighed, certain that Keith’s concern probably wouldn’t be helped by a response like that. “My head,” Lance offered. “Feels weird.”
Yeah, that response didn’t help the frown at all. In fact, it just added more worry into the expression along with confusion. In a way, sick was easier to deal with. It’d stink, but there were clear steps. Medicine that Keith could get. Things to do to make Lance more comfortable and fix him being sick. Quiet thinking or trying not to think? He felt a bit off kilter with that. Especially if Lance had come out here to do it… The situation wasn’t weird, not really, except that it was Lance. This wasn’t the other boy’s normal coping mechanism, at least that he’d seen. It was more, well, his…
“Sparring on the training deck works well for that, but…” He shrugged as he came up to lean on the railing beside Lance, pressing his elbow up against the other boy’s in easy contact. “You already know my complaints about the ship and that.” His eyes scanned Lance’s face, trying to find any external sign of what might be causing the head weirdness that maybe Lance had missed. A cut or bump or bruise. Not that he knew where Lance might’ve gotten it recently, but maybe an arm had flailed the wrong way during the night. “Weird how?”
A snort escaped from Lance despite that his presently-crumpled posture meant it emitted from somewhere closer to his chest. Of course Keith would suggest fighting it out. Maybe there was something to that, though… A memory flickered to the front of Lance’s mind. Training alone in the Castle of Lions -- trying to work out some frustration and hone his skills. The thought drew Lance’s expression into thinly-veiled confusion. That would have happened sometime back in Tumbleweed. But he was in Tumbleweed…
It was Keith’s elbow that tugged Lance out of his inner turmoil. “Huh?” Lance blinked, shaking his head. He could guess what Keith asked based on the searching glance Keith was giving. It felt like so much time since he’d seen that face, and then...again… no time at all.
“I remember you leaving the team. But that’s crazy. I’ve been here,” Lance started again. “You’ve been here. I didn’t go anywhere.”
Keith normally liked quiet. It was something he was used to of just being with whatever soft natural noises were around, whether it was the rustling of brush, the hum of engines, or now the near constant lap of water. But now it just cause that worry to ramp up because really wasn’t the natural state of Lance. Sure, the other paladin could be quiet, but situations like this, the lack of a words blared as loud as any warning alarm.
So with his nerves already tensing, the words that finally came felt like an unexpected slap to the face and he reacted as such. He started, straightening up and taking a step back, his eyebrows shooting up in shock before pinching down in confusion and a mix of hurt and guilt. A feeling he was a bit too familiar with considering how it had taken up a home in his chest ever since Pidge had offhandedly mentioned that future event months ago, only to be stoked with each time the Green Paladin had mentioned how nice it was that he was around or Allura and Hunk mentioned other events that they wished ‘they’ could remember, but he likely wouldn’t.
He pushed that feeling down though, focusing instead on this moment now. “You were here all night,” he tried to reassure, even though he wasn’t sure how reassuring that could be considering the new memory. “You didn’t go anywhere.” Which just didn’t make sense. Even if it was for a moment, he would’ve noticed, right? And if Lance had disappeared and reappeared, it wouldn’t have been to the same spot, would it? When people reappeared, they ended up in medical. Not still asleep in their own beds… “Maybe… maybe it was a bad dream…” Although it sounded more like the sort of nightmare he’d have, not Lance… Breathing out a heavy sigh, he shook his head slightly. “Maybe… is it just that? Maybe it’s just, yeah, just a bad dream… I mean, that sort of thing happens, yeah? When you’re anxious and then your brain can just…” His hand waved out to the side in a ‘get carried away’ gesture’.
“I don’t know,” Lance replied, although his own voice sounded foreign to his ears in the moment. It was… like a snowglobe. Someone had shaken it up, and his mind was swirling and trying to settle. All the little pieces drifting inside kept bumping into each other on the way down. “I… I think it might’ve been that new memories thing people talk about. That PR tour… that’s in here now. It just came with so much other stuff.”
Lance leaned back against the railing, facing Keith. He tilted his head up, brows knitted and expression still more closed-off than usual. He could remember Keith walking away. It felt crazy to be upset over that when Keith had been by his side the whole time these last few months. But it had happened, hadn’t it?
Hands worked their way up to rub at Lance’s eyes. He let his knees bend, then stooped down into a small, folded tangle of teenage boy on the floor of the balcony. “I don’t think it was a dream, Keith.”
Keith crossed his arm over his chest as his focus shifted out to the ocean. He’d been trying to scitter away from that possibility. Had hoped that maybe the nightmare explanation would be the answer. It still sucked, he had enough experience with nightmares to know it wouldn’t be a good answer, but the alternative… Even with all the varying timelines, there had been some comfort that someone had been stuck at the same point as he was. Except if Lance’s suspicions were true…
It had to be a lot to go through, right? A lot of time passed. Events, missions, things changing even though they’d been here the entire time. Even if he didn’t like this look on Lance and it made him want to retreat, he pushed down his worries because, yeah, that had to be a lot… Carefully sitting down next to Lance, he wrapped his arm lightly around the other boy’s shoulders, rubbing his hand over his shirt in what he hoped was a soothing gesture.
His brow furrowed as he tried to think back to things he’d seen Allura, Pidge, and Hunk talk about. There’d been a mission. One where they’d nearly not made it… What was the planet… So many things that’d happened… “What about Pidge finding Matt?” he asked softly as he still thought. “And… was it Naxzela?”
From where Lance’s eyes were covered, he didn’t see Keith shift in. It was more just a feeling that there was a presence nearby, then that contact against his back right before the movement that Lance knew was meant to be comforting. And it was, just not for the reason Keith thought.
“Finding Matt, finding their dad -- Naxzela was… Lotor showed up. You were there, too.” And then there had been that memory that Keith was with the rebels and Matt. That battle had been going south in a hurry before Lotor saved the day. There just wasn’t time to catch up when everyone split again. “Ugh. Lotor. He’s been working with the team. You know that? I mean, of course you… don’t.”
Lance paused. “Right?”
Keith’s hand stilled and his eyebrows went up in surprise. Finding their dad? That was… that was new… Pidge said she was still looking when she came through, so… that had to be new… plus Lotor working with them… He remembered someone mentioning Lotor saving them, but that wasn’t the same as working with the team. His brow furrowed as his jaw worked slightly.
“I don’t remember any of that,” he said softly with a shake of his head. He paused his lips pressing together in a tight line a moment. “I’m not sure the others know all of that either… Naxzela was always the last thing they mentioned…”
Lance’s expression turned to a small frown. It was a reach to hope Keith knew about it, but it would have been some source of comfort. Someone to confirm things… even if Keith hadn’t been around the team. When was the last time he’d spoke to Keith, anyway? Not here, but back in their world.
“I don’t like this,” Lance started again. “Feels like someone wedged a whole bunch of stuff into my brain without asking.” He looked over at Keith, who seemed for all the world to be struggling with what to do. It wasn’t like there was any real way to help. Lance didn’t even know what he needed. Time to decompress? A distraction?
Maybe some reaffirmation that the other paladin wasn’t going anywhere. Lance turned slightly, enough that he could reach Keith’s arm behind him. He guided it in front and guided Keith’s fingers into the space between his own.
“That makes two of us,” Keith grumbled softly, the words out before his mind registered them. Which while true, wasn’t fair to Lance, was it? The other boy was the one having to deal with all of this new information jammed into his head. Which, well, that was the main part that he didn’t like. That Lance was having to go through this. That no matter how many times there might’ve been a ‘man, I wish I remembered that’ moment with the other paladins, he really doubted this sort of situation was what Lance had in mind. Especially considering, what were you even supposed to do in these situations? Comfort and soothing about what the memories were about? That’s what seemed to be the solution with Shiro, but he also was getting memories that he’d lost back, not months of memories he’d never had in the first place… Right?
But with how Lance had taken his hand, maybe that’s what was needed? Entwining his fingers with Lance’s, he squeezed the other boy’s hand reassuredly. He hesitated a moment, having to consider his next move. In these moments, he felt the absence of his other hand more keenly. The urge to hold and touch made more difficult when he’d have to pick one or the other. And he really didn’t want to pull his hand from Lance’s right now.
So he improvised. Leaning forward, he nudged his cheek against Lance’s where he wanted to trace his fingers. “Hey, we’ll get through this, ok?” he murmured softly. “Maybe sort out what happened so it makes better sense in your head.”
Maybe it wasn’t what Keith was expecting as a response, but a snort of amusement escaped Lance’s nose before he could trade it back in for something else. He knew Keith was doing his best, and it wasn’t that it wasn’t appreciated. Actually, that Keith was actively trying to make this better or just be present made all the difference in the world. It was just…
“I’ll be fine,” Lance explained. “Headaches, new memories, kinda confused -- it’s all still way less painful than Sendak’s explosive present that one time.”
Still… Lance’s expression sobered up. Keith leaning in, that consoling touch…
“I’m glad you’re here. You know that, right? You know I want you around, right, Keith?” Lance asked, voice quieter and more subdued.
“So other than the headache and memories, situation normal?” His voice stayed soft with fondness edging in to make the tease light rather than like the taunting jabs they used to throw back and forth at each other. Something to hopefully ease the tension as much for Keith’s sake as Lance’s. Considering that the mention of Sendak added enough extra anxiety and made Keith search over Lance’s face for some physical mark or scar that the new memories might’ve left behind.
And then there was that elephant in the room. Even if they were talking in the here and now, it was hard not to ignore what had prompted the questions, especially since Lance had already mentioned the memory of him leaving. He nodded, which turned half way into a nuzzle considering how his head ducked against Lance’s jaw. “I know, Lance. I know that.” He snorted lightly. “I’d know just from how much you drag me along with you.”
“Ha ha,” Lance returned, but like Keith, the words weren’t seeking a fight. Most of that old urge to fight had dissipated once Lance figured out what it was about Keith that kept setting his nerves on edge. A change in perspective about who Keith was to him made all that annoyance ebb away. Well, mostly. There were still things that needled at him, but none of those were present in this moment.
Not with how Keith was proving he wasn’t going anywhere. Not with that nuzzle. Lance lifted his chin and set it down atop Keith’s head. Keith’s black, fluffy hair tickled.
“You say ‘drag’ and I say you like it, but you just have to make a show of being annoyed,” Lance fired back. At least this path of conversation was helping with the peculiar ache in his skull. The subject was easier to focus on. Keith himself was easier to focus on.
“...think we can get breakfast delivered today?”
Keith squeezed Lance’s hand as he leaned more into the other boy, nestling closer and more comfortable against his frame with Lance’s head slotted over his. A soothing gesture even with how pointy Lance’s chin could be.
He hummed deep in his throat, an acknowledgement of Lance’s assessment, not really an agreement or disagreement. “Only when it’s not a good idea,” he shot back. “Besides, where’s the victory if there isn’t a bit of a challenge?” He puffed out a breath against Lance’s neck as he shrugged. “We could. We’d still have to move though,” he pointed out. “Unless you brought your phone.”
Lance’s eyes tracked upwards toward the bed. The phone was sitting on top of the bedside table, right where he’d placed it before falling asleep last night. It just didn’t seem worth getting up right now. His stomach wasn’t rumbling. Keith was warm. Maybe his brain was still struggling to adjust, but this worked.
“Nah, I didn’t.” Lance shifted his legs, letting himself settle more into the balcony seat. “Maybe in a few? I’m good here.”