allura; princess of altea (altean) wrote in thedisplaced, @ 2018-01-22 03:13:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log/thread, pidge gunderson, princess allura |
WHO: Allura and Pidge
WHEN: Late late Sunday night, probably close to midnight or a little past it
WHERE: Starting from Cruiseship's library to their suite
SUMMARY: Discussion of crushes and basically tonight's events
WARNINGS: None
Her eyes blinked slowly, her vision blurring slightly as she tried to focus on the words on the page. They stayed closed for a couple seconds the second time, and one of her hands rubbed against her face. That did nothing to make her feel more awake. Glancing at the time, it was late, nearly past late. Thankfully Pidge didn’t have to be in any given location at 9 am the next day. But still, there were wonders to see and science to experiment with. Her eyes tripped along the table toward… Allura, head down on the table, asleep. Her personal experience sleeping in similar positions at a few different tables, desks, and even rooftops and laptops… Pidge pushed her chair back and slowly moved down the table toward her teammate. There, she shook Allura at her shoulder, enough to jostle her. “Hey, Allura, let’s go back to the suite,” Pidge said. Being in just light sleep mode, it didn’t take much shaking to awaken Allura. For a moment she forgot where she was and lifted her head up quickly in surprise. Blinking at the setting, the memory of sitting with Zelda, followed by being joined by Loki, and then Pidge, came back to her. “Oh,” she started, reaching up to rub her eyes. “I hadn’t realized I had fallen asleep.” A short while after that, she remembered why she had even decided to go to the library. “Oh, right, um… you can go on ahead. I don’t think I’m ready to go back to the suite just yet.” If it was this late, then everyone else would be back too, and she was not at all too sure she could look Shiro in the eye right now. Pidge stared at Allura and paused for a few seconds in order to replay what Allura had said. Yes, that indeed had been what she said. Sure, she was working more slowly than after even a decent nap, but nothing she knew made sense of that statement. “You’re not going to get anything else done here,” she said. Allura had already fallen asleep once. It would happen again. “Your back will thank you in the morning,” Pidge added. Whatever was going on, it was better on a good night’s sleep. And paladins looked out for each other. Alteans were pretty resilient, but yes, even they were susceptible to bad back pains sleeping in awkward positions. What Pidge was saying was absolutely correct, but how was she going to put it without revealing too much and putting Pidge in an awkward situation herself? “Well… alright, but-- listen, would you be able to go ahead before me and let me know if everyone else is still awake or have gone to bed?” Shaking her head, Pidge again replayed what Allura said. She crossed her arms and nodded. Then she squinted down at Allura, as if that ever told her much about what someone was thinking. “Yeah, I can do that,” Pidge said, “But you should tell me why. At least who you’re avoiding.” Because, honestly, it could be any of them. Even Matt. Pidge didn’t know. Allura pressed her lips together before sighing in resignation. Pidge wasn’t a little girl that needed to be kept out of anyone’s affairs, and if what she had said to Shiro ended up affecting their working relationship badly, everyone was bound to find out anyway. Despite the fact that Allura hoped it wouldn’t come to that, Pidge was still someone she considered a friend as well as family. “It’s Shiro,” she replied in a low voice. “I shared a secret with him that I probably should not have shared, and I-- I told him that I had feelings for him. It did not seem to go as well as I had hoped.” With a cringe, she added, “I also told him over the network.” Pidge frowned slightly. “That does sound pretty dumb,” she declared. Not that she was an expert on romance or emotions more broadly. But still, even at this time of night on her tired brain, that wasn’t a great idea. “Shiro’s seeing Alice. And the network’s awkward,” Pidge ran a hand through her hair. Not that it looked any worse for it. But she started moving toward the exit. Either way they both needed sleep. “What did you want, out of telling him?” Pidged asked. If Allura thought Shiro would have dumped Alice and started dating her, well, that didn’t seem like Shiro. So. What had been the point? “I’m aware,” Allura said, trying to keep her tone light and not at all bitter. It was understandable, she supposed, to be bitter in this situation but it wasn’t going to help anyone at this point. Then again, avoidance probably wasn’t going to help either, but for the time being, it would soothe her bruised ego some. “I… don’t really know. I felt like telling him was the right thing to do. He’s a friend, and he at least ought to know why I’d want to make myself scarce when Alice is around us.” That was weak even to her ears. Truthfully, there was a tiny part of her that had hoped that was what would happen, that he’d realize he returned those feelings too. But, she was thinking along the same lines as Pidge, too: that Shiro wouldn’t do that. “Uh… huh,” Pidge said first. There were a million better ways to explain wanting to be scarce when Alice was nearby. Even a simple, ‘I don’t trust her yet. I know you do, but I don’t.’ Which, sure avoidance wouldn’t help. But given a few hours of sleep, Pidge knew she could think of better. Something like, ‘I don’t like her.’ But somehow not sounding mean? Not the point. If it had been the right thing to do, it had to be for another reason. She hoped. Allura was a lot smarter than that. That had been one of the reasons Pidge had crushed on her! Back what felt like forever ago. So much science had simply made sense to her because she had learned it. And she did amazing things with it. But they were friends. And Pidge had moved on. They’d both had more important things and no time for whatever else. “If you don’t want to tell me why, or if you don’t know, you can just say so,” Pidge suggested. “What? That’s not-- I didn’t say I don’t--” Allura started to protest, standing up with her arms up, but then dropped them. She wasn’t being the best role model right now. “It was a relapse in judgment. I had a glimmer of hope that it would work out with us if he knew.” She reached up with one hand to rub the back of her neck. “I realize how idiotic that sounds.” Pidge looked over at Allura and nodded. “Yeah,” she agreed. “Pretty sure if that happened Shiro’d stop being whatever it is about Shiro you like about him.” So, either way it was lose-lose. Either Shiro stayed Shiro (which, it sounded like it had? hurrah) and Allura was in one heck of an awkward situation, all her own fault, or Shiro stopped behaving in the ways they all liked about him. Well, some of them differently than others. Shiro was way too old for Pidge to even think about that. But y’know. Allura was… actually, she had no idea beyond “ten thousand years in hibernation” how old she exactly was. “Guess you don’t have tons of experience dating?” Pidge asked. It felt like an amateur move. But, that wasn’t anything terrible in and of itself. No one just suavely walked their way into dating with Lance’s confidence and… Shiro’s execution? She guessed. He was the only one of them dating. “A very good point,” Allura mumbled, leaning back toward the table. She was exhausted. It was already a trying day in the last couple of hours it took her to bring up the courage to even tell Shiro. The best thing to do was to go back with Pidge and deal with whatever she could at that point. Allura looked up at Pidge, and smiled awkwardly. “That obvious, huh?” She shrugged. “There was never time. Being royalty and all, I imagined I would one day end up married to another of a royal family, but we never even got to have that discussion when the fight between the Galra had started to intensify. There wasn’t much in my life for several years except training with my father.” Pidge shrugged. “I guess so.” Even then, it had been a guess. Not that Pidge knew how to be any better. Not beyond simply not telling someone when it was a bad time. “Doesn’t seem like most of us have had the time for it,” Pidge said. For all Lance flirted with so many people and talked a large game, Pidge hadn’t seen him really date anyone when they were at the Garrison. She could be wrong, he could have dated someone. But they’d all been busy. They all had things. Well, perhaps Matt and Shiro. But that felt like ages ago. Out in the universe, doing what they did, they hadn’t had much time for sleep or science just for fun (Pidge had done a lot of that here). “Well, I’ll check if Shiro’s there,” she said, as she had agreed. “Guess this is the Awkward Suite for the time being.” She chuckled. Not that it was so funny. Just, it was late. And it had sounded funny. Allura smiled, despite the fact that she didn’t get the joke entirely. Maybe not at all. But, awkward was a good descriptive word for the entire situation. “Thank you, Pidge,” she said, gathering her things. “I’ll… well, I’ll be close behind. A few steps behind. Better to get a full night’s rest in a bed rather than on a chair.” Pidge nodded. “I’ll, I don’t know, do something if he’s there, so you know,” Pidge said. “Something awkward probably.” Because trying to do something on purpose that only told Allura something was up but not Shiro… it would likely go that way. But Pidge didn’t mind. She was awkward plenty on her own. “Y’know, there’s no way this is the first time someone’s had a crush on someone else, even on the team,” Pidge said over her shoulder as they reached the end of their hallway, the door to the common area before her. She tapped her bracelet against the reader, opening the door, and looked into the dark room before her. It looked empty. Pidge meandered through the space, checking sofas and armchairs and anywhere else someone could have fallen asleep or been silently sitting in the dark (that was something she’d believe Keith doing…). But there was nothing, out here at least. “You’re good,” she stage whispered at the door. Allura breathed a silent sigh of relief, and she relaxed her shoulders that she hadn’t realized had been tensed up during that entire walk back. “If you’re talking about Lance,” she started. “I sometimes doubt it’s a crush and think of it more like he enjoys just pushing my buttons.” Despite Pidge’s warning, she still popped a head through the door first and looked around before slipping in. “Do you happen to know anyone else with a crush?” she asked in a hushed voice. She should have gone straight to her bedroom but Allura just couldn’t help a moment of good gossip. Pidge couldn’t explain Lance any better to judge. Perhaps he liked Allura. Perhaps he wanted to push her buttons. Perhaps it was both. Girls was high up on her list of topics not to talk with Lance about. When he said dumb things she had to electrocute him. He was like another brother, but then brothers going <3_<3 at Allura seemed to be a thing. Not that she could judge. She tried, hard, not to laugh. Fortunately Allura couldn’t see her face very well. “Well, I had one,” Pidge whispered back. She shook her head. It was dumb to say anything. But less dumb than what Allura had done. So. Seemed fair. Allura stopped walking. “Really?” she said in a normal volume. Hearing a cough in one of the bedrooms, she clapped a hand over her mouth for a moment. “When was this?” she asked in a hushed tone, as she resumed her walk to the bedrooms again. Pidge tilted her head as she thought back. It had started when the Galra had boarded the castle and taken it over. Talking with Allura over the comms. Doing what needed doing to stop them from stealing the castle (and their lions). She had known her ship so well… “Just before we left Arus,” she shrugged, “Lasted a while after that. You were really awesome. Still are. Just...” She shrugged. It wasn’t like that anymore. Lance’s flirtation toward Allura was one thing, but Pidge’s admission of her former crush touched her. “I’m flattered, Pidge,” she said with genuine gratitude as they reached the bedroom and she turned toward her youngest Paladin. “I’m sorry I did not realize it sooner, although it took us a while to find out you weren’t a boy -- you have my mice to thank for that, though. They told me before you told us.” She reached out to put a hand on Pidge’s shoulder and squeezed it in further gratitude. “Thank you. For this whole discussion. I know all that can be done is move on as you had. I don’t think there’s any productivity in sitting around and wishing I could change time, but…” she paused to glance up at Shiro’s closed bedroom door, “it just will take me some time before I face him again.” As Pidge had figured out, later, the mice had been there when she and Shiro had talked about her family. So it hadn’t been surprising, in hindsight. It had been more concerning that practically everyone had figured something out. Pidge had settled on simply being herself after that, in all that meant. The lying was out of the way. But she had to be good at lying to get into the Garrison, to have done what she did. So it was just good that they hadn’t figured it out on earth. Which… wasn’t really about having a crush on Allura. They’d simply both happened at the same time. But she smiled up at Allura’s face. It hadn’t felt so awkward after all. “There were other things going on,” she shrugged. “This place does make for good timing, someone not already having had it aside.” Because Allura hadn’t really had a chance to tell Shiro here, not when it would have mattered. He had been here so much longer… “Just remember, there are infinite universes. There’s probably some percentage of them where everyone’s dating every combination of everyone else.” The results of all sorts of decisions, rippling away from each other. “And you have time, to figure out moving through this one.” And someday, if she wanted to date, there would be someone else. “Night,” Pidge waved. Allura gave her a short nod, before opening the door to her bedroom. “All valid points, Paladin, as per usual. Goodnight.” |