Rinoa Heartilly | Final Fantasy VIII (angel__wing) wrote in thedisplaced, @ 2017-12-13 08:06:00 |
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The weather had finally caught up with the festive season. There was a fresh coat of snow on the ground with more falling each day. It really was beginning to look like Christmas or at least what mass media said was Christmas. From all the advertisements and shows, Christmas seemed to be about snowflakes, brightly colored scarves and sweaters, and fireplaces. There were so many more decorations for sale than there had been for Turkey Day. Christmas music was playing in the bar. It wasn't really being used as a bar anymore but Laguna didn't want to change things. This was how the bar had looked back when Raine had been looking after it. There were plastic bags were scattered around the table tops, some opened, some not. He'd gone a little overboard with the decorations but there'd been so many distracting things. On one tabletop was a foot tall plus snowman that played 'Frosty the Snowman' when you squeezed his mitten. There wasn't a tree. Cutting down a tree had seemed silly and buying a fake tree seemed even more ridiculous. However, in the bags and scattered around the area, were a great deal of garland, far too many strands of tinsel, strings of holiday lights (all brightly colored) and other kitsch. "Thanks for coming over, Rinoa." Laguna was currently unspoiling a strand of lights. "I really don't remember buying this much stuff." There had been a lot of commotion over the surprise snowfall. Rinoa judged by how others were reacting that snow was not abnormal occurrence for the area. She had seen plenty of snow in her life so it was nothing new to her. Although she was happy to see some snowfall. At least they didn't have to fight any snow monsters like back home. Or at least, she didn't expect to. She wouldn't express this aloud out of fear something would happen as soon as she mentioned the lack of monsters. She knew it was only a matter of time before something happened. Rinoa had heard the music outside before she even reached the door. She liked the music. It was cheerful and it made her focus on something happy instead of her personal feelings. She was the type of person who needed something to do and if she sat still for too long she started thinking about how much she wanted to be home. About how much she missed her friends. How much she missed Squall specifically. Only once had she said how she missed him. She hadn't dwelled on it then because other things came up. “It’s no problem,” she said with a bright smile. She rummaged through a bag and chuckled. “I think you went a little overboard.” "That's okay," Laguna replied, letting the lights trail onto the floor. "Cloud and Tifa can take some stuff home for the kids." No one really needed a collection of miniature felt Christmas trees with happy smiles sewn on them or plush elves holding candy canes. Finishing with one strand of lights, he grabbed the next box. They were supposed to connect together. Somehow. "Missed you at the ball the other night," Laguna said casually. Rinoa had been planning on getting a dress but had decided to babysit instead. Cloud and Tifa probably appreciated the gesture. "How were the kids?" “I think Marlene and Denzel would like that,” she said cheerfully at the thought. It was such a nice thing to do. Those kids were a joy to be around and she was certain they would love some of these decorations. Rinoa was particularly fond of the elf plushies. She'd have to ask if she could keep for herself. She had grabbed an armful of the Christmas trees and started setting them out at random. Rinoa paused for a second before setting out another little tree. “Oh, yeah, well I figured Cloud and Tifa could use a night out.” Which was true. It just wasn't the only reason she had watched the kids for them, but it was still true. “They were great. We finger painted, made some paper ornaments, baked cookies, watched Christmas movies.” She sounded genuinely happy with the night. It had kept her and the kids occupied. Laguna couldn't help but chuckle at her account of the night. From what he'd heard from Cloud, the kids really got into painting. Hopefully there hadn't been more furniture casualties that night. Marlene and Denzel were both good kids, excitable at times, but what little kid wasn't? "Ah ha!" he exclaimed suddenly, plugging the two light cords together and reaching for another package. "There we go! Sounds like you three had a great night. All that fancy stuff can be overrated." Rinoa loved entertaining, and entertaining children was no exception. It was in her nature to want to have fun and to make sure others were having a good time. It was also in her nature to take care of others, and in this instance she was helping out her friends and taking care of their kids. They had been like any children that night, which hadn't been surprising in the least. They had worn pajamas the whole night and had gorged on cookies and made art. It had been a fantastic night. Rinoa turned around to look when he exclaimed. She just chuckled and returned to setting out various ornaments now. “Yeah,” she agreed, though didn't elaborate. She figured it was better to help out her friends than go to some fancy ball without a gorgeous guy on her arm. Laguna had been to enough formal events to last him for years. He'd take relaxing at home or spending time with friends in a dive bar any day. It didn't help that the formal clothing in Esthar had been all loose flowing robes with bright spots of colors. There had been perks when it came to being president but those didn't extend to all occasions. He looked up at Rinoa's noncommittal answer. She was usually more talkative than this. Laguna wondered just how much of that was her personality and just how much was practice from translating Squall's curt demeanor for other people. "Hey," he said, setting down the now massive strand of lights on a nearby table, "I bought some of that eggnog stuff. You wanna try it?" So much of Rinoa’s life had revolved around her father being the head of the military. People knew her face from when she was just a child. She wasn't sure if it had been a curse or a blessing. Either way, she hadn't agreed with her father’s actions growing up and she eventually showed that through forming a rebellion team. That was how she had met Squall and the others. She didn't see any reason for those sort of actions here in Texas. For the most part, it was quieter than at home even though they had the occasional shenanigan. Rinoa moved on to another box and pulled out another armful of decorations. She suspected Marlene and Denzel would love all of these. Rinoa liked how bright and cheery they were. It helped brighten her own mood, even if she wasn't outwardly moody. Maybe she appeared more quiet than anything. She glanced over to him. “Sure, but it sounds kind of weird,” she admitted. "If it's awful we don't have to finish it," Laguna said reasonably. He made his way around the bar and pulled out a cardboard carton from one of the mini fridges. It had seemed to sell pretty well at the supermarket, unlike the fruit cakes which most younger shoppers either made a face at or just pointed and laughed. He opened the carton and took a sniff. "It smells creamy and it doesn't look like eggs." He rummaged around for a few glasses and gestured for Rinoa to take a seat at the bar. The gingerbread and candy canes had tasted okay and so had everything for Turkey Day. Food seemed to be a very important part of each holiday and it was sort of fun to try new things. “I can agree to that,” she laughed. Rinoa wasn't rude by any means, but if she didn't like something she wasn't one to hold back and sometimes the way she went about it could come off as a little haughty. She finished setting out her armful of decorations then set her hands on her hips as she watched him. She tried to gauge some emotion from his sniffing but she wasn't sure if he was pleased with the smell or not. She supposed she was about to find out for herself. Rinoa stepped over and sat at the bar across from him. She liked eggs, but making a beverage out of them did not sound appealing. At least it didn't look like some kind of egg drink, according to Laguna. Maybe this wouldn't be terrible, so she kept an open mind. Her eyes followed him as he worked. “Hopefully this stuff doesn't taste like eggs, because an egg drink sounds disgusting,” she said with a face that clearly showed her dislike at the very idea. "I knew a guy in the army who used to drink raw eggs," Laguna replied, "said it was good for building muscle or something. I'll take boring old scrambled eggs any day. Here we go." Laguna managed to find paper cups instead of bar glasses but they'd work just as well. They were plastic and obnoxiously red so they fit right in with the decorations. He poured a little eggnog into each cup and passed one over to Rinoa. "It kinda looks like cream. You want me to try it first?" Rinoa looked even more disgusted at the thought of drinking raw eggs. “That's gross. Why would anyone do that?” She shivered at the thought. Now she was seriously questioning their decision to try this eggnog. They were about to make a grave mistake, she just knew it. She reached out and pulled the cup closer, peering into it, “Well, it doesn't look like raw eggs at least.” She was still skeptical. She shrugged, “Go together?” "Sure. On the count of three. One, two, three." Laguna counted off. He took a sip of eggnog and shrugged his shoulders. "It's not bad." He took another sip. "Just kind of sweet and creamy." He hadn't been sure what he'd been expecting but egg-flavored had been on top of the list. It didn't really taste like eggs. “Okay,” Rinoa agreed as she picked up her cup. She took a sip when he reached three. And immediately made a face of dislike. “Oh, ew.” She set the cup down with a shake of her head. “I really don't like that.” She pushed the cup away. “Can I get some water? To wash the taste out of my mouth.” She was not pleased with the results, but she supposed not everything could be as tasty as thanksgiving. Speaking of Thanksgiving, “Why was Turkey Day food so amazing, but this Christmas stuff isn't?” Maybe she was missing some Christmas secret. Maybe there was a special way to drink this stuff. Laguna ducked down to the mini fridge and handed Rinoa a bottle of water. He finished off the eggnog in his cup. It wasn't bad. It wasn't something he wanted to drink every day but once in awhile might be okay. He agreed with Rinoa that the Turkey Day food had been much better. Maybe it was because they weren't trying to have a turkey flavored drink. "The peppermint stuff isn't too bad, it's just really minty. But you know," Laguna said, leaning against the bar top, "that's part of the fun. Getting to try new things." “Thank you,” she said as she reached out for the bottle. She opened it and took a long drink. Something about the eggnog did not sit well with her. She wouldn't be trying that again anytime soon. She nodded, “Peppermint is a lot better. And it smells nice, too.” She took another drink and nodded in agreement. “It's like being a kid again. Figuring out all the new food you do and don't like. At least this time I don't have my nanny trying to convince me to eat my peas.” "Do you like peas now?" Laguna asked. “They're okay,” she said with a shrug. “I guess I can eat them now without gagging at least.” She ate her vegetables. There was just something about peas she didn't like. "That's good." Laguna was slightly amused because otherwise that would be a really awkward time at restaurants. "If you try something new, there's a chance you might like it and there's a chance you might not, but you won't know that until you try it." He picked up the carton of eggnog again and looked at it before deciding to put it back in the fridge. Maybe someone else would like to try it. "You know the Balamb Hotel? I wanted to stay the longest time and when I finally did I got to try the special dish– you know, the Balamb Fish." Laguna scratched at the back of his neck. "I don't know what I was expecting but it was just so… fishy. You know what I mean?" Rinoa nodded in agreement. “That's very true. I think when you're a kid you learn what you like, but sometimes you develop a taste for some things.” Rinoa smiled with amusement and nodded, “Yeah, it's really not great.” She knew what he meant. It was indeed very fishy. Fishy or not, the mention of Balamb also made her think of the Garden. She looked down at the replica of Squall’s ring she wore and spun it slowly on her finger, her mind wandering to home for a moment. "Sometimes things work out for the best and sometimes they don't, but trying is always better than wondering." Laguna glanced at Rinoa but didn't comment. Someone on the radio had said that holidays were always a hard time especially if people were missing friends and family. Like how some people could still be lonely in a crowd. He understood that; he'd had plenty of practice over the years. He didn't have many regrets, just a few, but also knew that there was no point in dwelling on things that couldn't be changed. The only option was to move forward and live for today. He ducked down and grabbed a bottle of water for himself. "Hey, do you think Squall would like eggnog? Maybe he'd just drink it without saying anything." Rinoa nodded, “Yeah, I agree. At least I’m willing to eat the stuff now.” Rinoa was the sort to keep an open mind about nearly everything. She didn’t like people being hurt or used. She wanted people to be taken care of and safe. That was part of the reason she had formed the Owls. Most of Rinoa’s life had been spent missing her mother. It wasn’t until she met Squall and nearly lost him that she started to miss him too. Now her mother was a distant memory and that in itself pained her because she felt like she was losing her mother. She didn’t want to lose Squall too. She shook her head and offered a half smile, “I don’t think he would.” But he wasn’t there for them to find out. "I don't think he's too fond of sweet things," Laguna agreed. Squall really didn't seem the type to have strong opinions on trivial things. Sure, he'd probably think the decorations were going overboard but he probably wouldn't care if the miniature trees were white or green. Laguna paused to take a drink of water. "I know it's weird suddenly being in Tumbleweed without knowing how we got here or why we're here, but it doesn't mean we're not going to see everyone again. We could go home or they could show up here. And if they do show up here, we can tell them everything we've learned. Like you don't need to drink eggnog to celebrate Christmas." “Except for me,” she said with a smirk. Which was true. She knew Squall was fond of her. He had to be if they were dating, after all. Rinoa was also being a little bit of a snark right then, but she could be where Squall was concerned. Rinoa was quiet for a moment as he spoke. She knew he had a point, but that didn’t make it any easier. She wanted Squall around. She wanted her friends around. “I almost lost him once,” she said quietly. “And I feel like I’ve lost him completely this time.” She didn’t know if any of them would ever show up. She wanted them to, but she wasn’t trying to get her hopes up. "You haven't lost him. You're just spending sometime apart or… think of it like you're going on your own adventure." The first part almost made it sound like the couple had broken up which was not what he wanted to imply, but the second part was accurate. What else would you call going to a completely different world and meeting tons of completely new people? "Now, I haven't spent as much time with Squall as you have but I do know that wherever you are, he'd want you to be happy.” Rinoa hadn’t had many adventures on her own. They had mostly been spent with her friends, or her friends coming to her rescue with Squall leading the way. She had a terrible habit of being taken captive. “No, I know. I just… it’s not the same.” She was happy Laguna was there. She was happy to have made the friends she had made so far. She was happy to open her home to kids who needed a place to stay. Rinoa finally looked up from twirling her ring on her finger, lifting her hand to show the ring. “This is all I have of him. I can feel him slipping away. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to have you and the friends I’ve made. But I want him here with me and every day that passes I get less and less hopeful. I ended up not going to that party because it would have been full of couples and I want that back. I want Squall.” She sighed and looked back down, trying to keep her emotions in check. She hadn’t come over to get upset. She felt bad now because she could feel herself on the verge of tears. Maybe the radio had it right but for the wrong reasons. They hadn't been in Tumbleweed long enough for establish traditions. Despite all the excitement, maybe it was only a matter of time before things boiled over. Distractions only worked for so long. Squall had walked the earth and literally gone to the moon and back for Rinoa and she would do the same for him. "Hey," Laguna leaned forward, resting his elbows on the bar, "it's okay to miss him. He's probably missing you too." Maybe even more so. Laguna couldn't imagine Squall confiding in anyone unless it was Rinoa or possibly Ellone. Rinoa could function just fine on her own. She was independent and free-thinking. She was strong and confident. But she still worked best in a group. She had been without her usual group for nearly two months now and it had started to weigh a little more heavily on her because of all the blatant holiday reminders to go home for Christmas and how being with loved ones was the most important thing in life. She was well aware of that and it just made her miss everyone back home, especially Squall. It was true about distractions. They worked a short time and then Rinoa would dwell on things and be constantly reminded how much she wanted to be with the one she loved. She nodded slowly, “I know. I’m sorry… I didn’t come over here to get emotional and talk about how much I miss Squall.” She kept her eyes focused on that ring, because she felt that if she looked anywhere else she might actually break down. "Don't apologize. You can't help how you feel." Laguna reached over the bar to squeeze her hand gently. For someone who claimed to love writing, there were times when words seemed hard to come by. They were too simple or too empty. He might not have always known the best thing to say but he was sure that he always meant what he said. "The two of you won't be apart forever. I believe that." He smiled gently and let go of Rinoa's hand. "Why don't you take a moment? If you still feel like decorating, you can. If you don't want to, I can manage. If you want to freshen up, the bathroom's right down the hallway, remember?" It didn't make her moment of guilt go away, but she did appreciate what he had to say. She nodded and responded quietly, “Yeah.” She honestly wanted to believe she would see Squall again. She wanted to believe he'd show up any day. That he could very well be a part of the next arriving group of Displaced. She wanted more than anything for him to be one of them. But deep down she didn't think she would get what she wanted. She had actually put Squall’s name down as her most wanted gift, figuring if this Santa guy was really as good as everyone claimed then maybe he could bring her boyfriend through the portal. And then she changed it because she knew she wouldn't be able to handle the deep sense of disappointment when he didn't show up. Maybe he thought they wouldn't be apart forever, but Rinoa was beginning to think she would have to come to terms with a world in which Squall didn't exist. She nodded again, “I'm going to use the bathroom.” She stood up and walked down the hall to the bathroom. The door was locked behind her and she sat on the edge of the tub, leaning forward with her elbows resting on her knees. That was when she couldn't hold back anymore. She let the tears come then, allowing her emotions to come pouring out. Rinoa was so used to being strong for both herself and for others, but sometimes even the Owls Princess needed to cry. She stayed there for several minutes, paying no attention to be time. When she finally felt she had control over herself she stood up and looked in the mirror to see the results of her tears. She sighed and wiped her face with some tissue. She returned to the bar, feeling very aware of how red her face was now. “Hey Laguna, I think gonna go home.” When Rinoa slipped out of the room, Laguna turned down the music. It was playing the serious song about "woolen mittens" and "brown paper packages". He didn't want to seem like he was hovering so he went back to decorating. One of the stores was selling fake snow that you could spray on stuff so he was experimenting with the miniature trees. The table got the brunt of the fake snow but by the third one he'd figured it out. He looked up when Rinoa reentered the room. He'd been about to ask if she was feeling better but she beat him to it. He opened his mouth to say more encouraging words but stopped short. He brought one hand up to rub the back of his neck. "Sure. We can finish up some other time." Rinoa offered a little smile. “I can come by tomorrow after work if you want.” She needed some time to herself after her unexpected emotional display. She also needed to make sure the teenager now living in her house was doing alright. She'd have to make dinner soon. "Sure," Laguna agreed. "I promise I won't put all this stuff up tonight." Though given the sheer number of bags, decorating wasn't likely to be finished in a single day. It remained to be seen if the bar even had space for all the seasonal cheer. "Oh wait! Before you go–" Laguna cut himself off then rummaged about in one of the bags. After a few seconds he pulled out a small blue colored box. "Why don't you take this home with you? According to the commercials, everyone drinks it when it snows. If you feel like it, give it a try." “Alright,” she said with a smile. “We'll get this place looking like the rest of the town in no time.” At least she was attempting to be more like herself. She didn't like being sad and mopey. It didn't get her anywhere, but at the same time it felt slightly better to cry. She whistled for Angelo, who had fallen asleep under a table. Rinoa took the little box and looked it over. “Hot chocolate. I think I've heard this is actually good. Hopefully it's better than the eggnog,” she joked. “Thanks, I'll try it later.” She offered a wave before heading out the door with Angelo at her side. |