She hesitated at that, wondering if Bethen knew by now -- if Aurin had ever told her what was waiting for him the longer he served. The addiction of its templars was one of the Chantry's more well-kept secrets, so much so that she had started to doubt as to whether the measure was actually necessary after accounts she had heard...those regarding the Warden-Commander being the most prominent of them. Remembering it now ate at her, feeling the familiar fire at her bowels clawing for release whenever her mind slid back towards Andreus's gradual deterioration before that horrific day in the belltower, and the unopened letter clutched by a tearful cleric. How many hearts have been broken, how many tears have been shed -- how many lives have become dimmer, less colorful, less wonderful and worth having, simply because of all the time consumed by pondering the what-ifs and should-bes?
"It's not as if the hourglass stays stationary," she began. "You know what they say, the moment you're born, you start to die. It's grim and gloomy, but no less the truth. No matter how young we are, we're all running on borrowed time. I wouldn't say just tell him what you think of it all just for the sake of your own peace of mind... I don't think the query would be as sincere as if you told him simply because you wanted to, because you felt like it and it had to be said. But one day, I hope you do." She winked at Bethen. "Like you said, Aurin's stupidly stubborn. I don't think he'd be scared of anything regarding you, unless it's to shoot lightning or fireballs at him. The armor's heavy, conducts electricity well, and gets extremely hot when melted, after all."
It was, by all rights, an attempt at levity. Falling a step next to Bethen, Deidre flashed her a winning smile. "And I'll have you know, from what I read of harpies, they're these nasty winged beasts that have the faces of women and have an eerie caw, with talons this big..." She gestured with her fingers. "And regularly feast on the blood of men....and you're just too pretty to be one. In all seriousness, however, you can unload on me any time -- I'm always willing to listen. As much as I don't act like a part of the clergy, there are some things about it that I do take to heart. And one day.....I'll take you up on returning the favor. Even if it just ends up with the both of us drunk at a tavern, singing at the tops of our lungs after I teach you a dozen dwarven drinking songs." At Bethen's gesture, she took several steps towards the stall, intent on purchasing the halla plushie she managed to espy some time ago.
"In a way, talking like this helps me too," she remarked after a moment's silence, glancing at Bethen. "Not to practice or anything, but as I've mentioned before, my life is so transient that to take the time to connect with someone on a level beyond the superficial is good....for the other person and my own soul. I hope you feel the same, I would never wish for you to feel like you're a burden, whenever you deign to talk to me about what's bothering you."