bethen avilla ; the circle mage (bethe) wrote in thedas,
How could Dee know just how impossible this situation was for them? She meant well in her advice, in trying to make a parallel of her friendship with Alderic, but it was not the same situation. Much as she wanted to believe that they were alike, kindred spirits separated for far too long, Deidre would never be able to truly understand this burden, would she? "You're right, it wouldn't solely be that I'm a mage, but you can't say that it isn't a factor." Much as she wanted to believe that she wasn't solely defined by her ability, magic had undoubtedly shaped her life. It was hard to keep back the bitterness from her voice as she continued, "I really do appreciate how sympathetic almost everyone I have met has been so far about my...condition, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm a walking disaster waiting to happen. Try as I might to pretend I'm just like anyone else, there is a reason we get locked up in a Tower. It's naive and selfish of me to think that we could have any form of friendship." She swallowed hard, and lifted a pallid hand to casually brush at the corner of her watering eye. Just a bit of dust.
Bethen inhaled deeply, and finally looked up at the other woman, "Quite frankly, I'm just...I'm not like you, Dee, or him. I am a mage. He is still a templar, regardless of his heritage or personal beliefs. And unless he chose to leave, we still have to answer to our respective orders." She could never imagine asking that of him. Not for her. And even she had new obligations. "My being a Grey Warden changes some things, but...not all of them. There are still boundaries between us. Maybe more, now that I have my own secrets to keep." She grew quiet for a moment, before picking up again, "But...there isn't much use in thinking about this now, is there? We're off again. Down our separate paths." And no guarantee of coming back from them.