The human’s comment had Seda’s eyes going wide, seeing something that wasn’t there. She sat still and silent, gaze distant, before she finally broke away with a deep shuddering breath. She jerkily turned to face the girl beside her and nodded limply. “Yes, I suppose I was very lucky.”
And she was lucky. Had been lucky. Luckier than she had ever known, then she could have ever possibly imagined. Lucky and so terribly unappreciative. Had she ever made sure her father knew how much she loved him in return? Her mother? Choking on her next breath her eyes slammed shut, fingers buried in Salma’s coat. She didn’t think she had. And now… now it was something she could never do.
Breathing deeply, focusing on the lingering scent of sweet bread and horse, she opened glassy eyes to watch Salma paw at the ground. The past was unchangeable. She had to accept that… but she couldn’t. Couldn’t stop regretting. Couldn’t stop hoping for another chance. Leaning to the side, head resting against Salma’s, she whispered lowly into the horse’s ear. “Is that so? How amazing.” It was a reply to an answer that was never given. She’d like to believe that Salma understood her, perhaps even answered her, but it was probably nothing more than a disjointed conversation with herself. Somehow, though, it was comforting. So comforting.
Drawing back she forced a smile on her face, everything was easier to deal with if she was smiling, and tilted her head to look at Jill. “And you? Or is all that being a horse messenger is… is that all you need?”