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Dec. 28th, 2015


network post: ned

I killed a man. His name was Marty.

No, let's back up. I mean, I didn't kill him. But I did make him alive again and then make him dead again, because he was dead when he fell on me and then he was alive and now he's not.

Because that's what I do. I touch dead things and they come back to life. I don't know why, I don't know how, I don't know why me, but that's how it is.

And that's why the pie's so good. I used rotting fruit and brought it back to life, and alive-again fruit tastes better. That's what I've heard. I can't eat it, because if I do it goes back to rotting in my mouth, which is why I say I'm allergic to Chuck.

Dec. 17th, 2015


Bloody Mary War

WHO: Everyone inside Mount Weather!
WHEN: Starting around noon, ending around 2pm.
WHAT: Bloody Mary battle. Get your glass shattering freak on. Feel free to post narratives here.
WARNINGS: Likely character death (and resurrection!) and injury for sure.

Bloody Mary was everywhere. )

Dec. 9th, 2015


network; chuck charles (006)

I haven't talked about it much, but back home I used to work with a private investigator. We would be hired to discover the causes behind mysterious and usually bizarre deaths, give the truth to a client, and then collect a reward for solving the mystery. The police would do everything else from there, and I guess a part of me thought everything would go the way it was supposed to after that.

This is... I don't know.

Maybe I'm just not getting enough sun. I usually love going outside in winter and I've never had a problem with SAD, but I've also never lived in a bunker during the apocalypse, so maybe it's just a unique circumstance. I should go get some fresh air.

Dec. 6th, 2015


Hello everyone! My name is
myname is

my name's



Okay, you can do this, Leslie.

Greetings! Seasonally! Salutations festively! No, no. That's ridiculous. I can't seem to get this introduction right. Hi everybody! I'm Pawnee City Councilwoman Leslie Knope and I'm completely not okay with any of this at all because this is actually forty-eight miles from my dream second home away from the best city in the world which is also called Pawnee, Indiana and holy crap this sentence has gotten away with me. SO. I should have deleted all that, but I'm too some word I don't even know right now to keep backspacing and deleting and all that.

Emotional? Sure, that's an easy one. I'm emotional! I'm emoting!

there are no waffles in the future are there

Nov. 17th, 2015


network post: ned (to chuck; chuck/veronica)

You're either going to hate me or love me. Or maybe a little of both. Or maybe just love me, considering you're the one who keeps pushing me to be open and honest.

Well, I was open and honest. I was so open and so honest that we might have a partner in crime. Or, make that a partner in solving crimes, which are mostly hypothetical right now but could become real. Doesn't hurt to be prepared, right?

Besides, she reminds me of Olive and Emerson, if Olive and Emerson had a tiny blonde baby and that baby was a plucky private detective. And I spilled out my secret and she was like "Hey, need a Gal Friday" and I said yes and I'm feeling impulsive. I'm still riding the rush. I could do anything! Maybe I'll dye my hair or get a tattoo of a strawberry on my butt.

Veronica, meet Chuck.

Chuck, meet Veronica.

Nov. 15th, 2015


[ Private ]

Veronica Mars, what have you got yourself into this time?

"It was never supposed to be this way." I figured I was done being shocked by the way life rips away my agency, that I'd never be so naive as to write those words in a journal, but here we are: four for you, Pod God, you got me good. I spent the last three years of my life trying to save enough money to get out of Neptune and now I'm so far from it that I can't find my way back.

Cry more, Veronica. Everyone's got a sob story. The ones who don't are the ones making them for other people. Now do what you do best, and detect.

Work's fine. Nathan W's one of the Specials - that's going to be the watchword from here on out for 'people who have something notable about them that may or may not be biologically improbable'. Sorry journal, I'm still too fresh to write "magic" down as a legitimate thing - but I don't know how, and I like him too much to snoop. He had some hints about how home was more of this same. At least I know what Rogue's trying to conquer. No handshakes of congratulations for her anytime soon, but at least she's angry. Anger is good. Hope lets you down, time and time again, but anger's always available to spur you on.

Back home Neptune's finest used to say "no body, no problem" as a way to keep from caring about teenage runaways under a certain income bracket. We're up to our eyeballs in bodies, here. Duplicates of that British woman, the ghosts of this mountain we're not supposed to talk about, characters from Harry Potter that died years and years and years ago and are back up walking around. Join them, Veronica. Be a body. Blend. If your story in Neptune's been put on hold, write a new one. And stop missing Dad

[ /Private ]

FYI, I dropped 'hallucination' from my vocabulary when talking about you guys. Way too many syllables, and is it even true? EH. Does 'people' work? I think it works.

Nov. 6th, 2015


network; chuck charles (004)

The first big snowfall is my favorite day of the year. It's such a perfect reason to dress up in snuggly knitted clothes and stay cozy with your favorite people while you watch the snow drift down.

Who wants to test out their winter gear with me and make some snowmen this afternoon?

Oct. 29th, 2015


network post: ned (to law enforcement)

Okay, come on Come on come on come on You can do this Hi. I'm Ned. You might know me from the kitchens? I make the pies. That's what I do. I'm the pieman, making pies all day, all night, that's how I roll.

Except that's not only how I roll. And [...] I've been thinking about it for a while and it's been keeping me up at night, like when it's too hot in the bedroom and you keep kicking the covers off only to feel cold again and it's just a constant cycle of blanket-wrangling.

So, I have a thing. And I don't know why or how, but I have a thing, and that thing made me useful in murder investigations. I'm not a cop, but I worked with a private investigator on the DL and [...] actually, made a lot of money now that I think about it. Not that I do it for the money. I mean, it kind of started out that way but really it's to help.

So I [...] I wake the dead.

Oct. 28th, 2015


network post: ned

I've never worked in such a busy kitchen before.

I baked pies out of my home and then I baked pies out of my shop and I only made pies. Now there's breakfast, lunch, and dinner, it's a smorgasbord of chaos. I have a routine. My kitchen is my happy place. But it's not "my" kitchen. I miss my kitchen. I miss my apartment. I miss my dog.

I miss my dog. And the pitter patter of little dog feet and happy dog panting and tail wagging.

On a scale of one to ten, with one being "not at all" and ten being "stop immediately", how bad have I been about Halloween?

And when you answer I want you to factor in the fact that I didn't hide your pumpkins and tell you they went back to the farm.

Also, fun fact, I haven't touched one single dead person in two months.

Oct. 26th, 2015


network; alistair theirin (003)

You're all going to hate me for saying this, but Maker I'm sleeping so much better, even living in this bizarre, technically underground city with no dwarves in it. Except the dwarves who are here, but they're different, they're not if-you-see-the-sky-you'll-fall-into-it dwarves.

Thank you to whatever god created this place for not also making nugs, as well. Bless this reality.

Oct. 21st, 2015


network post: ned

Who decided it was a good idea to fill the place with pumpkins? How did we get so many pumpkins?

Everywhere I turn there's a new jack-o-lantern with a sneering face staring me down, like it's disappointed with my life choices.

Not everyone loves Halloween.

Oct. 3rd, 2015


network; chuck charles (002)

I found a dead hive, but it's so late in the year I'm not sure we should bring them back. Mount Weather has their own bee boxes, but I was really hoping to have the re-alived bees. Now that I'm used to how that honey tastes, regular (or radioactive?) honey just isn't the same.

Sep. 28th, 2015


Who made the pies for Sunday dinner yesterday? That was the best damn pie I have tasted since I visited my mom.

Sep. 24th, 2015


It is entirely possible that I am the one who splurged at lunch AND dinner and ate three pears between the two meals, but they were so wonderful and I couldn't resist. It's wonderful to have an appetite again, and to want to eat, and to not think that all food looks terrible and will probably kill me. So, kitchen staff! I will be returning to you on Sunday!


I don't suppose that there is any baby furniture in storage? Bed, changing tables, rocking chairs are all very necessary. I suppose that the changing table isn't, but it would be nice. I still have several months, but there are others who will need all of this much sooner.

Are there baby clothes? Recieving blankets? Little booties and nappies?

Snow White
I think that I am beginning to show. Dr. Gates told me that my little one is now about the size of a lemon! How wonderful to be able to have an idea of the size of one's baby while they're still baking.

Kaidan and Shep
I need to speak with the two of you. It's very important. And I threw a shoe this morning while looking for my other pair, and it's on top of my closet and I can't reach it, so I need one of you, too.

Kitchen Staff
I'm returning, as I said above! And it will be good to be back; as wonderful as working with the children is, I've found that when I married, I truly did put that part of my life behind me. I miss joining you in the kitchen and creating food with you. I feel that we had a wonderful harvest this year -- I really like the word wonderful this evening! -- and I think that we also should celebrate that. I think that for many of us here in Mount Weather from different places and times, we all have a tradition of gathering around a table with family and friends once or twice a week. With that in mind, I would like to propose the idea of Sunday dinner.

Of course, we eat every Sunday, but Sunday dinner is different. We cook and eat foods that are reserved just for that day, or for special days, and they have a little extra cream, or an extra dessert, or just feature a meal that we don't eat often. What say you?

Sep. 10th, 2015


When I said I was leaving town. This wasn't quite what I had in mind.

[Nathan, Audrey and Duke]

I let Haven turn me into a monster. And, I refuse to be that anymore.

I'm sorry.

[Ned The Piemaker, Chuck Charles and Susna Pevensie]

I've been told that you're my new roommates. It's been a very long time since I've lived with anyone else.

I just wanted to warn you all, not to touch my bare skin. It will cause you an immense amount of pain, and I can't turn it off.

Sep. 8th, 2015


chatty: ned → chuck

» You haven't said anything, have you?
» About you-know-what.
» About both you-know-whats, which are inextricably linked.
» My you-know-what and your you-know-what.
» I'm being vague in case someone finds your phone.
» Like spies. I should put this in code.


I hope everyone enjoyed my news broadcast on Sunday! It was an honor and a privilege to carry on the work of my dearly departed (from this world, that is) best friend, Cecil Palmer, even if just for one day. I think he would've been proud. And it only took me four hours of rehearsal to feel adequately prepared! A year ago I would have needed ten times that amount at least. Therapy!

Last month I celebrated my 46th birthday -- well, actually I ignored it completely, because there were more important things going on, and also because the prospect of aging terrifies me to my core. I much prefer the idea of skipping this one and chalking it up to time travel. But strangely, being here is helping with that fear. Or perhaps it's just replacing it with the much more pertinent fear of dying before I ever get the chance to age any further. Hard to say.

At any rate! All of this has reminded me, more than ever, that our time here together is fleeting. I don't want to die or disappear without having made every one of you a close personal friend. So if we haven't met yet, let's change that! I can't wait to make your acquaintance. And if we have met, let's hang out again! Let me make you a cup of herbal tea, or come join me for a run outside! You're all beautiful people with incredible souls, and I am so fortunate to be here sharing this mountain with you.

Sep. 2nd, 2015


network post: ned

I don't know anything about werewolves, and I don't know anything about cursed wounds or bites, I don't even know how or why we're all here in the first place, and I don't know where most of you come from, but I know this: we're a long way from home.

I know for me, when I feel like I don't have a home to come home to, I make pie.

Pie is home, and people want to feel at home. So I've made pies; it's what I do. They're being served at dinner tonight, and I'm coming by medical to bring slices for the staff and all of the patients who can't make it there.

That's all I can do.

What do we do with the produce that goes bad? Where does it go?

Aug. 27th, 2015


network; chuck charles (001)

Hi! My name is Chuck. It's short for "Charlotte". I'm from a completely different reality, and I know a lot of you are, too.

This is amazing. Do you all knew how many multiverse theories this proves right? How many scientists back home would just lose their minds if they knew we'd all made it through to a parallel universe? I knew I hadn't seen all the amazing things in the world, but I never imagined I'd see this.

I can see from skimming the network that something is going on (werewolves! they exist! they're coming in this direction! I don't know whether to be delighted they exist or melt in fear, my god), so I don't know if you all are comfortable having a cheerful conversation with me right now, but if any of you need a cheerful distraction from war preparations, I'm here! Tell me all about yourself! Ask me questions! I'd love to get to know you!

Aug. 26th, 2015


Hey folks, so there's some stuff going down. What I need is this:

If you are not fighting or assisting in medical, you need to tell me right here and now. This includes children. If you are not fighting, and you are not helping in medical, then you are down in the prison with the rest of us. When we're not helping the other get ready, we are gathering blankets, medical supplies, food stores, to bring with us.

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