May 2016



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May. 11th, 2016


Who wants to get high?

Did I say that right? The things I remember from Storybrooke are erratic and generally unhelpful, honestly. For instance, pizza rolls. Why in God's name did these things exist and why do I want twenty?

Perdonami. The point. With the help of a few naturally inclined individuals, and possibly some genuine magic, I now have a half dozen cannabis plants. More importantly, I have a smokeable harvest, tested several times over. So far, no one has dropped dead or grown an extra limb. That said, I am not responsible for any accidents, dismemberments, or bad decisions.

Unless they are fun bad decisions and you are happy you made them. Then I want all the credit.


In case anyone was wondering, those people updated on the network, they really believe what they're saying. Not to say it's true, but they're believers. That makes sense super dangerous.

I could probably start asking around if people know who wrote these things. If that's a thing we want done? I'm not sure what the legalities would be on that.

I miss Zed. Do you miss Zed? She worked with me, and I got used to seeing her curls every day.

And I just realized if she ever came back, she wouldn't remember us.
Paperwork is such a headache. I miss the days where I could just look at something and dismiss it out of hand. Toss out this survey because the data is skewed. This person lied about age/weight/sexuality/etc.

May. 9th, 2016


I have vanquished the evil chocolate bear which stalked our land of candy. It is no more. It was a vicious fight, but the beast was felled among the sweet and sour trees of the gumdrop forest. I would consider putting its head on my mantle, but that is how you get ants.

This was almost better than Satan's cake pops! I should kill things more often.

Apr. 28th, 2016


[ Friends/Friendly Acquaintances - feel free to assume ]

Who wants to join me at the Rose tonight in a torrent of self-pity for their performance in Weapons club? I should be better, I should not

[ /Friends ]

Apr. 27th, 2016


Network Post

Congratulations, Magnus! And well done, everyone who competed today! You made the first Weapons Club enjoyable.

Sir Aramis, tales don't do you justice. If I had to be knocked out in the first round, at least I can salve my pride by saying I lost to a musketeer.

Still sore? Are you sure you're not

Apr. 18th, 2016


[ Filtered to The Iron Bull + Dorian ]

My mortification knows no bounds. I am so sorry to have been the cause of turmoil between you both. Had I been able to choose, I would not have done so, as you both seem like honourable men. I apologise profusely for my part in your upset of the past few weeks.

[ /Filter ]

Mount Weather, I have missed you.


Saluti, Mount Weather. I am Claudia Auditore, and I arrived this morning with my daughter, Giuliana. We are far from home, which is Italy - though if you know my brother Ezio, you likely already knew that of me.

I am to be a teacher, here, and I have a great deal of experience imparting knowledge to children and women. For instance, the last several years I have been Madame of the most popular brothel in Roma, and the ladies there have benefited greatly from my studies. I am told you lack the brothel, so I shall be content to teach the knowledge to the children instead.

And anything you might have heard from my brother is likely untrue or exaggerated, he is a terrible storyteller. I also feel much sympathy if you had to listen to any tales of his romantic life, he likes to go on and on about it.


(storybrooke)log: dorian+maria

WHO: Dorian Grey (Dorian Pavus) + Maria Grey (Lady Maria)
WHEN: Backdated to the day of Ben and Dorian's breakup in Storybrooke
WHERE: Dorian and Maria's Storybrooke home
WHAT: Dorian confesses to Maria that he wants to recommit to their marriage, and this doesn't go over well at all.

I've been selfish. And I want to apologize. )

Apr. 12th, 2016


!storybrooke; ben "the bull" irons

Know it ain't our night, but who wants to keep me busy tonight? Anybody need something fixed? Drinks? Bailed out? Bike fixed? Work with me here people.



Shouldn't fuckin be doing this.

He talk to you already?

Apr. 7th, 2016


storybrooke: rachel woodson

Ever since he's been back, I can't stop thinking about this other woman having her hands on him. Him being ins I don't want him to touch me. I'm not happy. I don't know how to get over this. Is there a way? The kids are suffering. They know something's wrong. They've been on their best behavior. I can't keep doing this to them.

I don't think I want to try anymore. I think I just want to give up. Cut my losses and move on. Get back to work, you know. Have my own place with the kids, and we can co-parent. He's really great with the boys, and I'd hate for them to lose that.

I just think it's time to shit or get off the pot. If this isn't going to work, then we should just admit it. It's the first step to healing, right? Realizing that it's a problem that can't be solved without damaging the boys.

Apr. 4th, 2016


Storybrooke: Jess Barton

Francis Barton, I'm not sure exactly how, but I'm still fairly certain this is your fault.

Drawing by: Cal Barton, age 7. For: Steve Shields )

Sorry, Steve. I'm going to take this to mean he doesn't show artistic promise?

[OOC: Special shout out to my own 6yo artist for drawing this for me. Happily.]


storybrooke: prof. dorian grey (to ben, maria)

I couldn't get away this weekend. Let me make it up to you.

Can I keep you up on a school night?

Hello, darling. Don't wait up for me this evening — I'm staying late to reorganize my lab storage. Completely boring, but has to be done, you know how it is.

Apr. 1st, 2016


Storybrooke; Rene d'Herblay

Spring has sprung, my lovely neighbors! As such, a reminder that the first Farmer's Market of the year will be tomorrow. The Sisters have quite the garden they've been tending to this year, and as usual they offer out their remarkable candles in order to raise money for the school system.

If you show up early enough, you may actually be one of the lucky ones to nab the Mayor's famous turnovers.

Mar. 18th, 2016


Since I'm still entertaining the lovely folks in medical, seems I'll be missing this month's fight club. Best of luck to everyone who's participating and I'll give three drink rations to the person who gives me the best play by play account of what I missed.

Private )

Mar. 11th, 2016


I hear you are in quarantine. Obviously, you are being punished for the cake on a stick.


Jim Kirk was admitted to medical with an infected wound, after an examination with Nurse Chapel. We're still attempting to isolate exactly what it is, but it's a nasty bugger. The things we know so far is that it's quickly spread and it's not responding to traditional antibiotics or magic.

As such, we've placed Mr. Kirk under a temporary quarantine here at the hospital, along with those he lives with. We very much apologize for any inconveniences this might cause, but I promise you we're going to attempt to make it as quick and painless as possible, it's only until we isolate the infection and figure out how contagious it is.

Better to be safe than sorry, I'm afraid. We'll be working overtime to come up with a treatment and cure, and monitoring anyone else that might have come in contact with Mr. Kirk. Bravo Squadron, please come to medical today for a full checkup. I don't want to have to hunt you down, but I will if I don't hear from you by noon. We don't believe it's that far spread, but as I said - better to be safe than sorry.

I plan on releasing a public statement when we know more of the symptoms, to follow up on this. If you're head of anyone in the military that receives a wound, please make sure they receive proper medical care. Any wound at all, even a small one. If anyone under your command becomes feverish or develops a rash, send them to us immediately.

Mar. 9th, 2016


[ Filtered to Friends; Feel Free to Assume! ]

I lied, may the Great Ones help me, I lied like a rug. I am so sorry. I failed my Sergeant and I failed Mount Weather and I failed myself. Do not tell him. He will hate me. I am terrible.

But the little cakes on a stick were so cute! Little bows! I ate a pink one. I want another but I will not risk going now. May they have mercy upon me. It was delicious. Delicious!

Don't do as I did. Take Satan's cake pops seriously! I am lost. Save yourselves!

[ /Filter ]


MILITARY SQUAD DELTA (Wade Wilson / Deadpool, Hope Summers, Lady Maria, Mindy Macready, Ahsoka Tano):
There's been some shuffling of the military lately, which I'm sure will be common-place here, since we never know who'll leave or arrive when. As long as we keep an open mind about that and welcome any newcomers with open arms, I think we'll be good here. We'll meet up Friday morning to show Ahsoka what we know. And vice versa.

And as a reminder, I don't want to see anyone falling for that Starbucks out front, us or anyone else. I know people miss coffee, but remember what Sergeant Pentaghast said the other week. If you see anyone there, try to talk them out of it before half the mountain is God knows what. Better safe than sorry, no matter how appealing the treats are.
You still feeling all right here?

Mar. 6th, 2016


network post: clint barton

You know, once you get over the fact that we're all underground in a nuclear wasteland, the digs are pretty nice. I've lived in way worse.

Am I too late for baklava? I bet Wanda didn't save me any, because I'm not the Hawkeye she knows. Boo.

If I jam my ear up against a speaker I can almost hear the awesome music. A+, Star-Lord. Is that gonna be a regular thing, or is it mostly talk radio?

(Hey Kate. Katie. Katie-Kate.)

Mar. 3rd, 2016


Hard-hearted is this "PodGod" who gives and takes with no real thought for those who are under its very particular thrall. And as such, I have many condolences for those of you who lost friends. Likewise do I have hope for those of you who found them again.

Would such a thing as a memorial quil
No, I will wear my poppy and be glad
Now I know rightly what you lot talk about when there's a memory "upgrade" in play. What a most singular delight for those of us who have experienced such things. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

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