|Anakin is the youngest Solo (youngestsolo) wrote in the100,|
@ 2016-02-07 17:44:00
|Entry tags:||!narrative, anakin solo|
Who: Anakin Solo
When: This afternoon-ish.
Where: Whatever corner Anakin's set up his Imperial Droid project in.
What: Tinkering with an Imperial probe droid and having a lot of thoughts.
Rating/warnings: Teenage sexuality questioning stuff but mostly low.
Droids at least made sense.
At least, this was largely the conclusion that Anakin Solo had come to as he'd been poking around at the Imperial probe droid that his parents had given him to work with. He'd taken his first droid apart and put it back together when he was two - somewhat bewildered at the time at how everyone had seemed startled by his ability to do this. It had just been clear to him and he'd needed something to do. At least… he was pretty certain that was what had happened. The memory had stuck in his mind because of the emotional reaction the event had incited, and because in general, Anakin had a pretty good memory even about even things that happened long ago.
But bits and bolts and circuitry and binary made sense and they just always had. And where they didn't Anakin knew if he worked at it long enough, then usually he could make it right again. This was more or less what he was doing right now. Stripping an Imperial droid down to its basic components, and then reprogramming it from scratch. It was more than a personality matrix, it was an entire shift in the command code, but the droid had been more or less in one piece which meant it was mostly a matter of replacing or routing around the parts that were broken, and then re-writing the command code itself, and probably introducing a geo-mapping code like Henry had suggested. It wasn't easy, but Anakin was fine with having the excuse to hole up with the basic simplicity of spare parts and the occasional invitee into his work space because people didn't make nearly as much sense as droids.
And when Anakin said people he meant himself probably as much as anyone else.
Two metal components were stuck together, fused by the heat of a blaster shot (maybe?), and Anakin frowned, and concentrated to see if there was anyway he could break them apart without destroying both of them. Even if he could only salvage one… that would be something. He half-wished for his Father's tool box for the Falcon, because if he had that, he could probably cut it apart with a laser and salvage both pieces with very little ado. But then nobody had ever said life would be that easy.
Which kind of brought him back to everything he was avoiding.
Things that felt messy and complicated and not nearly as simple as trying to salvage droid parts - not that salvage was simple, but binary felt less complex than most of the thoughts he'd had recently.
What he knew for certain is that sometime since he'd arrived at Mount Weather he had started to notice girls were kinda cute. Kissing, which had been something that he'd sort of turned his nose up at as gross was something that he'd begun to honestly wonder if it might be nice, and then the most recent surprise had been realizing that he half wondered what kissing his best friend might be like - and Nico was... well... not a cute girl.
Anakin tugged, and the part slipped, with the motion of it sending it spiralling across the room and into a stack of memory in various states of usability, which then scattered across the floor.
"Kriff," he muttered, and he stood up and went after the part, and to stack up the memory again.
The concept itself wasn't shocking: In a galaxy with so many planets, cultures, and species, sexuality was wildly varied, but it also hadn't really been anything Anakin had really spent much time thinking about in anything other than the most general sense of 'someday'. And that was where he found himself bewildered mostly because when Anakin had thought about the future in a general sense it had always been 'a girl he'd meet someday'.
Then again, when he'd thought about the future in a general sense, it had also been a future where he was alive. Obviously the future had taken Master Yoda's words about being in motion to heart.
Computer memory stacked back together, Anakin took the part back over and having found a crack, he reached out in the Force to seek out the weak places between the two before using a bench chisel to try to apply pressure in the right place to split the two pieces apart.
The sex class had been way more than he'd needed to think about. He had been curious, and he wasn't sorry he'd gone even though a time where he would actually need even half of the information seemed to be a really long ways away (If he ever needed it considering). But since he'd gone he couldn't stop thinking about the various sexualities, and he could half-hear Tahiri teasing him for thinking so much, but he really didn't know exactly who to talk to about any of it so thinking it was.
Anakin would have been downright lying if he'd said that there had been no time when he'd watched a girl he didn't even know that well just because she was cute. This was admittedly something he'd only done recently, and not that much of - cause that would be weird and awkward - but stealing glances, he had definitely found himself doing that recently. But it had been a thing that he never did or even thought about doing with boys.
He did watch Nico. And at first he'd just thought it was because they were best friends, cause he did that with Tahiri too, just because they were always together, and he knew all of her tics that no one else did. And with Nico he didn't know those little tells because he hadn't known Nico as long, and so watching him meant Anakin could tuck those little pieces of information away, to know Nico as well as he knew Tahiri, which was just how you did best friends. Except maybe it wasn't just how you did best friends (and what that meant about Tahiri, Anakin wasn't even certain he wanted to dive into) or maybe it was, but best friends could be something more?
Anakin snapped the two pieces apart and looked at the edges -- he was pretty certain he could smooth this out and put it back in. At least the top piece, the bottom piece might be a loss, or at least have to be completely re-worked from scratch.
Of course where he could look at the droid's parts and figure out what to do with them, he had no idea where to even begin with his friend questions. He didn't really know how to tell what Nico was thinking, and Nico had been so friendly with Hope recently that Anakin half-wondered if Nico liked her, which Anakin couldn't blame him for, because Hope was really fun to spend time with and she was definitely cute - Anakin had noticed that in his newfound noticing of cute girls. And she and Nico were roommates so they certainly saw each other frequently enough -- a fact Anakin was trying not to be jealous of.
But mostly… Anakin really didn't want to ruin anything.
Nico had become his best friend here and he was incredibly important to Anakin, which was definitely more important than kissing. But at the same time Anakin felt like he must be missing something important that other people seemed to just manage to know - which was how you answered the question 'does someone like you like that?' in the first place. And when he tried to get an answer from people who seemed to have figured it out it was always so vague and unhelpful. And so he was left wondering if he was reading way too much into little actions here or there or things Nico had said or done, and over-thinking what he'd written or maybe shouldn't have written. Mostly he just wanted to spend a lot of time with Nico and not have to worry about thinking so much about any of it because it was this exhausting ever-present buzz that made him want to just blurt out to Nico that he liked him, while simultaneously wanting to try to avoid the fact that he'd ever had the thought in the first place, which meant Anakin was beginning to think the whole 'no emotion' part of the Jedi code was at once a really good idea, and also utterly impossible.
He sighed. There was a droid and he was supposed to be working on it. And at least the droid made sense.