Anakin is the youngest Solo (youngestsolo) wrote in the100, @ 2016-01-27 20:40:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log/thread, anakin solo, luke skywalker |
Who: Luke Skywalker and Anakin Solo
When: 23 January (slightly backdated to before the age stuff)
Where: Working on stuff somewhere in Mount Weather.
What: Uncle & Nephew conversations about life, Jedi, and the oddness of Mount Weather.
Rating: Lowish.
Luke looked down from the ladder he was standing on and said “Can you hand me that thing there?” He had no idea what it was called but he knew what it was used for. Some of the tools were just like the ones he was used to at home but had different names here, others were completely different. Luke and Anakin were in a back hallway trying to repair a section of the bracing which had buckled a little under the snow. He’d asked Anakin to come with him for a couple of reasons, one he could use the help and two he hadn’t had a chance to talk to his nephew since everything had happened. First he’d learned that he was destined to die young and then his mother had gotten memories of a completely different universe in which he and his siblings didn’t exist. It would be a lot for anyone to handle especially a fifteen year old boy. “Thanks,” he said when Anakin handed him the tool. “so it’s been a while since I’ve talked to you. I bet you’re happy to have Chewie here.” Luke had been happy to see the wookiee and it was just what Han and Anakin needed right now. “We’re glad to have him in Infrastructure, he can reach all the high spots.” Anakin grinned as he reached down for the requested object and handed it up to his Uncle, not really even needing to ask for clarification despite the rather muddled directions he'd been given. He knew what Luke was trying to do, and Anakin knew well enough what would work for it even without more specific directions. As he handed it up, he looked up to the bracing to examine it more carefully - watching what his Uncle was going to be doing - and watching for any potential problems as he did. "It's really nice to have Chewie here," he said as he kept his eyes on brace. "It's possible he's seen a little too much of me," Anakin admitted with the tiniest of shrugs. And he really had spent a lot of time with Chewie since the Wookiee's arrival. They shared a space, of course, but beyond that there had been more than one night that Chewie had found himself with Anakin in his bed, curled up like he had as a small boy. Wookiees had a strength and ferocity that was well known across the galaxy, but Anakin had never feared Chewie. Chewie was family; he was gentle, for all he might complain and grouse at the three Solo kids at times (and at times it had likely been well deserved) Anakin had never doubted the Wookiee's love for all of them. It was why finding out what had happened to him, and then having lived those memories himself, had been so painful. Painful had been sort of the keyword for the past month, but Anakin was finally beginning to dig himself out from under it - he thought. It had helped that his siblings and Nico and Reyna had been there throughout all of it. If they got taken back at any point and sometimes people did he knew - Bianca had, Percy and Annabeth had - Anakin didn't really know what he would do. But there was no sense in courting trouble or challenges. Those seemed to find him often enough on merits of being Anakin Solo. "It's so weird to have him speak basic. Or, you know, whatever it is we're speaking here." Luke laughed. “It is, isn’t it? But I like it. I finally got to the point where I could figure out some of what he was saying but not like your dad can. Like with Artoo, we’ve spent so much time together that I can understand him almost as well as Threepio can.” That too had taken time but Luke loved the astromech, he was as much a part of the family as anyone else was. “I spent some time with your mom,” he said, trying to ease into the subject slowly. “she told me about the new memories she got. Very different from our world, isn’t it? Two places that exist side by side but have very different histories.” Anakin couldn't help but grin. He'd always been able to understand Chewie for as long as he could remember, but then again Chewie had been an Uncle - he'd grown up with him - and so there really hadn't been a time when he couldn't understand Shyriiwook. But he knew it was different for people who weren't used to Wookiees, or for people who were learning it at an older age. Even his Mom had sometimes asked Chewie to repeat something. But the smile faded a bit at the change of subject. To be honest Anakin didn't even know what to say about any of it. It had been worst at the beginning because it had come on the heels of finding out that he died. He'd found out that all of whatever dreams and plans and goals he'd had for his future were not going to come to pass and that he had very little time in his actual future at home, and then he'd found out that there was an entire galaxy not so dissimilar to his own - at least not where his parents and Uncle were concerned - but in which he'd never been born. Part of him wondered why not? His parents had one child, but why only one? The thought of growing up alone without Jacen or Jaina - it was unthinkable to Anakin. He relied on his siblings for so much and the three of them had always worked together as Jedi and using the Force. Would he have done the same thing without his siblings example? Could he have turned dark? Because Anakin knew that bit - what his father had told him. And the question of the dark side was one that had haunted him for years. "It's just weird," he said aloud with a shrug. "I don't know if I really understand it." “I don’t understand it either,” Luke admitted. “it’s not that I don’t believe other universes exist because I know they can and they do. It’s really hard for me to imagine a world that doesn’t have Mara and Ben…my Ben in it. Not to mention the three of you. You’re all such a part of me, I can’t comprehend what it would be like if you weren’t there.” Luke had never really had a family. Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru had done the best they could, he knew that now but they had no blood ties to him. He’d never known his father at a time when he was just Anakin Skywalker and not Darth Vader so finding out Leia was his sister had been a gift. Han had become a brother to him and he had loved his nephews and niece as if they were his own. Then he’d married Mara and he’d learned the joy that could come from fatherhood even in the midst of a terrible war. Now he was getting the chance to experience in in peace and he felt very lucky. “Your mother told me about….well you know.” He shook his head. “I can’t say his name. I know what it is but every time I hear it I think of my Ben and well it’s just hard to put that name to someone who did the things he did.” "Dad mentioned it." Anakin said quietly. Although his father hadn't mentioned the name and for a moment Anakin considered the tool in his hand. He realized he didn't know if it was more odd that the name wasn't his or Jacen's, or if it would have been more odd if this son in the other reality had been Anakin or Jacen - at least in name, if not in person. Neither he nor Jacen nor Jaina - none of them would turn dark. His mom still hadn't said anything to him about it, but he supposed she still was thinking of him as a kid that she needed to sort of protect. And to be fair, he supposed he had been acting a bit like one. "I spent so much time worried that I'd go dark," Anakin said finally. "And here, I mean, it's not like it's not there any more - it is there. And this month… well it's been hard. But at the same time, it's like knowing that I don't in my future… at home at least. I guess I can't really say about here." And the last month really had been challenging. "Anyway - I just feel bad for Mom." Luke climbed down the ladder and sat down a few rungs from the bottom. “I do too. The things she told me, it sounds like a very hard world and she was alone,” he shook his head. “I don’t think there is any danger of you going dark here. I know it’s been tough the last month or so, we’ve had a lot of things thrown at us but you’ve come through it and you don’t have to keep it all inside.” He looked at his nephew, forcing him to meet his eyes. “If you don’t feel like you can talk to anyone else, you can always talk to me, I hope you know that. I might not have the answers but I’ll listen and maybe we can figure out the answers together.” Anakin nodded. "I know that, Uncle Luke. I haven't been keeping it all in either," he offered quietly. "I've been talking to people, to Jacen, and Nico. And Jaina and Reyna a bit too. I just don't really want anyone to worry about me." He pushed his hand against a board, and looked over at his Uncle. "I'm all right. I mean, I will be. It's just really weird to think about, and it took me a while to really… I just had other ideas. But if I help people, the Jedi, the galaxy, even a little bit. Then that's what I'd want. It doesn't really matter how much I get to do that, so long as I get to." Sometimes Anakin wasn't certain if he believed himself entirely, but he wanted to believe himself. He wanted to believe that it didn't matter that he didn't live to be 70 or 80, so long as he was able to do something that mattered in the end. Maybe if he kept telling himself that long enough - he'd believe it eventually. “You do help, Anakin. You were a big help to Mara when she needed it on Dantooine, you made a difference in other ways too. Mara remembers more than I do but she’d told me. Never wonder if you made a difference because you did.” Luke wished that his nephew had had the chance to live a long life, to take over the Order from him, to train Ben when he was old enough but that apparently wasn’t meant to be. “The most important thing is to enjoy the time you have here. I know it’s strange but there are good things about it too. There’s no war, we’re all together and even if our heads are in a few different places, we can get past all that.” Anakin gave a small laugh. It was true. It seemed like ages ago when he'd arrived and walked into find his Mom not that much older than him. That had seemed like the weirdest thing to wrap his brain around and he'd managed it, only to be thrown more things later. In retrospect having his mom be young and only a few years older than him seemed a lot easier to consider than everything that had come since. "It's nice to not be fighting. I'm really glad Chewie's here, for Dad. And the whole family really." Jacen and Jaina showing up had been such a relief to Anakin. And then having his Uncle and Aunt, and meeting his cousin… these had been good things. "And there are nice people here. I have friends, it is good here. Meeting Master Kenobi, that was pretty amazing." He offered his Uncle a warm smile. "I'm just trying to not focus on it too much now. Like you said, just try to enjoy the time I have here. I have a lot of people here. It's good." “I’m very grateful for the chance to know Obi-Wan. I only knew him for a short time before he died and there were so many things I wanted to ask him. Talking to his Force Ghost isn’t quite the same,” he smiled. “he’s told me things about my parents, things I wouldn’t have known otherwise and that helps me deal with knowing some of the things my father did. I was right, there was good still inside him.” No one have believed him but Luke had known it was there, he only wished he’d had a chance to actually know him as Anakin Skywalker and not as Darth Vader. Anakin looked up at his Uncle and was quiet for a moment as he watched him work. That was something that Anakin had spent a great deal of time considering - who his Grandfather had been. He had memories, finding the holo of his Uncle at Vader's fortress, and realizing that however much his Grandfather had used the Dark Side, he still cared about this son of his that he didn't know. And that had both brought him to understand his grandfather better, while also creating some uncertainty in and of itself. Because there was a part of him to that point that had believed that as long as he loved people - he couldn't turn to the Dark Side. And that holo had caused him to question that some. But if the heart of the Dark Side was selfishness… well love could be selfish too, couldn't it? It could ask for things that benefited you and not the other person. It could make demands upon that person, or seek to control their life, to not let them live and make their own choices and learn to use their own strength. That had been the heart of the conversations he'd had with his Aunt when they'd been on Dantooine together and Anakin realized he was glad he remembered those conversations, even if it came with the more painful memory of losing Chewie. But the conversations he'd had with his Aunt Mara had given him insight… maybe even things that were serving him now as he tried to come to terms with that future he'd been handed. Selfishly he wanted to live, to not give up on the dreams that he'd had for his life, while some part of him understood that what he'd had to do had given his siblings the chance for a life of their own. And like Chewie reaching up and saving Anakin at the expense of his own life… well, in a way he'd done more than save Anakin hadn't he? He'd saved Anakin, and Anakin would be able to help his brother and his sister, and a lot of others because of what Chewie had done. There was a drop of water on the handle of the tool in front of him and belatedly Anakin realized it had fallen from his cheek. He reached up and quickly wiped his eyes before his Uncle could realize he'd started crying. "Maybe Grandpa will show up here," he suggested instead. "Others have." Luke had already seen the tears but he wasn’t going to bring it up. He knew that if it were him and he was fifteen, he wouldn’t have wanted anyone to see them. “I would like that,” he said quietly. “I would like that a lot. I’m sure your grandmother would too. Getting to meet her, that’s another thing that this place has given me that I wouldn’t have ever dreamed of.” He’d known next to nothing about his mother, save what Leia had found in a journal but he’d imagined her many times. She was everything he’d thought she would be and he could easily see that Leia was a lot like her. “I think we should think of our time here as a gift. We don’t know how long we’ve got, I doubt we’ll remember any of it when we go back but for now, we enjoy what we have. Peace is not something we have at home and I like it.” "It'd be nice to meet him, like the him from before, the him I'm named after…" Anakin nodded quietly and then he knelt down to begin working on the project in front of him. Whatever he'd discovered about his grandfather from bits and pieces through the years and the memories of his mother, his Dad, and his Uncle - it hadn't really been a very good picture. Would his grandfather like to work with things like he did? Would he be good at knowing how puzzles put together? He'd been known to be a great pilot, he'd been a good Jedi - until things had gone south. But so many things were still unknowns in his mind and sometimes Anakin wondered if he'd made his Grandfather proud. "I'm glad we're all here," Anakin said. "And I am glad we get this chance. Can we - maybe do some lightsaber training later?" He looked up at his Uncle with a hopeful smile. So maybe he'd never be a Jedi Master at home, but if he stayed here long enough, then maybe here he could manage to get it and since no one seemed to know how long anyone was going to stay - that was possible. Maybe, after everything, there was the possibility of holding onto some of those future dreams. Dreams of being a Jedi, and of a first kiss, and of being a Jedi Master… being able to help people for longer than a few more years. It didn't seem like the most impossible thing in the world. Not really. “Of course we can. I’d like that,” he replied. Anakin was right. It was good that they were all together and they should make the most out of every minute. “This shouldn’t take too much longer and then we can practice.” Luke smiled at his nephew and turned back to his work. |