Hello? Is anyone there? Peoples of the innernet? This is connected to the innernet, isn't it? I need help. Please. I don't know how I got here. I really think maybe I was kidnapped. I need help getting back to my family. Could someone call Dudley Dursley? He lives in Surrey. Or maybe Petunia Dursley? Oh, but, Vernon scares me.
I'd ask for someone to call my Daddy but he doesn't have a phone. He's probably looking for me. Or my Mommy. She's definitely looking for me because she'd notice I'm not home. Daddy might still be at work.
Help me? There's a little girl here too. She's a baby and she won't stop crying.