|Ajay Ghale (sonofmohan) wrote in the100,|
@ 2015-05-28 09:40:00
|Entry tags:||!narrative, ajay ghale|
WHO: Ajay Ghale (But given he's in the apartment, anyone else in 504J is welcome to butt in)
WHEN: May 28
WHERE: Ajay's bedroom
WHAT: Ajay's been doing pretty well not thinking about things but all good things come to an end.
WARNINGS: Some very slight mentions of the murder of a child, non-consensual drug use and language.
This moment had been coming for a while, Ajay supposed as he curled up in the corner of the bedroom. He’d been distracted by being yanked here to this place and then the excitement of adjusting to a new place and a new job and people whom he recognised from books and movies and TV shows. But this had always been lurking in the back of his mind and he’d obviously relaxed just enough for it to take over and ambush him.
He buried his face in his hands and drew in a deep, shuddering breath. In the moments before he’d been brought here, he’d been watching Pagan Min fly away from the palace in his damn helicopter. He’d found out his mother had… loved Pagan, that she’d had a child with Pagan Min and that apparently he was now the King of Kyrat as Pagan Min had always intended. He didn’t quite buy the argument that things would have gone smoother if he hadn’t gone and… thrown shit around with the monkeys, as Pagan had put it. Sabal and Amita would never have seen him as anything more than someone else to rebel against if he’d done that.
Or would they? Amita maybe but would Sabal have felt so strongly? He still would have been the ‘Son of Mohan’ after all and that had meant a great deal to Sabal. Maybe he could have been a bridge between the Golden Path and Pagan Min. It… sounded like that’s what his Mom had been doing before it all went to hell. He’d like to think he’d have done the same but would he? If all he’d gotten was Pagan Min’s version of events? And De Pleur’s? He’d been a bit of a jerk back home… okay, a lot of a jerk… and it had only been a combination of the shooting and his Mom’s illness and death that had dragged him out of that world. How quickly would he have slipped back into it with the sort of encouragement Pagan and De Pleur would have given him? It wasn’t a very comforting thought.
Ajay leaned back against the wall and scrubbed his face with one hand. At least he had answers now, even if he wasn’t sure he wanted them. He knew why they’d been in the US, why they’d left Kyrat, why and how his father had died and who Lakshmana was.
Son of Mohan. He wasn’t sure he liked that title much anymore. Okay, he hadn’t much liked it from the beginning but it had given him some standing with the Golden Path so he’d… tolerated it, worn it awkwardly but used it anyway. But Mohan Ghale had murdered a baby and had been planning on murdering his wife. He could – kind of – understand why Mohan might be angry that his wife had left him for another man, his enemy at that, and had a child with that man but murder? That was never an answer. Especially not the murder of an innocent baby. Now that he thought about it, he wondered how much of Mohan’s anger was because Ishwari had been working behind his back for peace and how much of it was because of her love for Pagan.
That was still a weird thought. His Mom had loved Pagan Min and he had loved her. Or so he said. He wanted to disbelieve that but Pagan Min had been… oddly honest with him in a weird way. He couldn’t recall the man actually lying to him. Maybe presenting information in a weird perspective but not actually lying. And he’d always seemed so… concerned about him in a weirdly paternal way. Okay, he’d left him with Yuma to be mindfucked, which was kind of understandable given what he’d been doing, but he’d also issued orders that he wasn’t to be permanently harmed. And presumably Yuma knew how Pagan felt about his orders being followed to the letter, especially after what had happened to the guard at the border with the whole ‘shoot/stop’ thing.
Uncle Pagan. Had he really called Pagan Min that? Who knew? He’d been three when they left Kyrat for the US and he’d spent at least twelve months, probably more, living with the man. He didn’t remember any of it but there was a certain amount of sense in it. He’d have had to have called Pagan Min something. He wished he could remember. Pagan had seemed almost disappointed when he’d shown no signs of recognition at the border when he’d first arrived. But no matter how weird the whole idea was, he wished he could remember living with Pagan and he really wished he could remember Lakshmana.
He sighed and leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes. He was avoiding the subject of Sabal. Admittedly the whole… thing with Pagan was worth thinking about but… Sabal. The man was… going crazy maybe? He hoped not but all that religious… fervour frankly scared the crap out of Ajay. It was what he’d seen in those visions that Yuma’s drugs had given him. He’d thought she was just trying mindfuck him but… those visions had come true. How? And why? Had they come from his subconscious or was it something weirder? After his experiences in Shangri-La, he wasn’t going to rule out the weirder option.
He sighed and shoved the thoughts of Sabal away. There was nothing he could do about Sabal here and he was having enough trouble wrapping his mind around the fact that his Mom had loved Pagan Min. What had she seen in the man that he couldn’t? Had Pagan been different back then? From what Pagan had said, he had been. He’d said it had been Lakshmana’s death that had changed him. That… made sense given the care and love that had been put into the shrine for the little girl.
He just wished he could go out and just fucking shoot something. That was how he’d dealt with each new shock in Kyrat. Just gone out and done something. Kept busy. Kept himself from thinking about it all. He didn’t exactly have that option here and now he was thinking about it and he wasn’t sure he wanted to do that. Not thinking about it had gotten him by so far but now that he’d started, he knew he wasn’t exactly going to be able to stop.