(mw) log: remix WHO: Remus Lupin + Felix Dawkins WHEN: March 30, 2016, after the battle calms down WHERE: Remus's room WHAT: Remus and Felix come back from volunteering in medical and consider how lucky they are. WARNINGS: N/A
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Remus felt guilty for not fighting. He knew he was better in medical, when there were so many other people who were trained fighters out there. He was a duelist, he knew how to fight, but he also knew how to heal and he knew how to splint broken bones with a spell and relieve pain. He knew how to clean and bandage wounds.
Really, he should have quit shoemaking to start working in medical.
He was bandaging wounds and assisting the actual doctors and nurses for hours, working as a tag team with Felix back and forth when it came to fetching supplies and taking care of minor injuries that the doctors didn't need to spend time on.
Somehow, he walked away from all of this feeling good.
Mount Weather was getting better at dealing with emergencies, people were more comfortable rushing to battle stations, and Remus felt like they'd won. He felt like they'd won, and that there were minimal casualties. Injuries, yes, but deaths? They were beyond fortunate. This could have gone so much worse. His friends were safe.
It meant he could come back to his room with Felix and collapse onto his bed with a satisfied groan. They were okay. They were going to be okay.
Felix was in Remus’s room enough that it was starting to feel like his own. It was definitely the only place they shagged, because going to Felix’s apartment meant sidestepping his sisters, and that just wasn’t worth the effort. It meant he slept here a lot, too, and now he flopped face-first onto the bed and started idly kicking off his shoes without looking.
“It’d be fucking grand if we weren’t constantly under siege like this,” Felix said, voice muffled by the blankets.
"We did well, though." Remus rolled over onto his back and brought his feet up toward his chest so he could unlace his shoes (a pair of camel and blue wingtips with bright red shoelaces). "You were brilliant, you. It was as though …"
He wedged one shoe off, and then used it to pry off the other. "You and me, we barely had to talk, we didn't argue, we just knew. We don't make an awful team, you know."
“We don’t really argue much to start with.” Felix crossed his arms so he could rest his chin on top of them. “It’s nice being around someone I don’t constantly bicker with. Not that I don’t love Sarah.” But they were siblings. It was their job to make fun of each other.
"Bickering with her all the time, though?" Remus tossed his shoes to the floor and rolled over until he was half on top of Felix, nuzzling his shoulder. "I've been told it's a sister thing, but I wouldn't know better."
“It’s pretty normal. We keep each other honest.” Felix managed to get his left shoe off and flung it onto the floor.
Remus scrunched his nose, and his hand found his way up underneath Felix's shirt to rub circles over his bare back. "Do you, though? If I understand you both properly, you're two little con artists," he murmured affectionately.
“I’m not that bad,” Felix insisted. “I make a mostly honest, mostly legal living. Sarah’s the grifter, I just moonlight.” He let out a long breath, lazily trying to get rid of his other shoe.
Remus laughed softly, leaving Felix for a moment so he could help Felix out of the shoe and toss it down. "Is prostitution legal in Canada?" He asked, giving Felix's foot a squeeze. When he was comfortable with someone, happy with someone, he was deeply physical, always touching and clinging. He seemed quite reserved when in public, but in private he was content to latch onto a loved one with everything he had.
“Mmm sort of? Technically, I can sell as long as no one’s buying.” Felix yawned, covering his mouth with the back of his arm. “Not that it really matters now.” He flipped onto his back so he could half-heartedly start shoving off his jeans. He might just fall asleep like this if he decided he didn’t care enough.
"Because you're here and money's meaningless, or because you have me?" Remus shifted just enough so he could grab the waistband of Felix's jeans and pull them down off of his hips. "Think very carefully about your answer, Lucky."
Felix laughed, squirming out of his clothes. “Both? Unless you want the pandering answer.”
Remus leaned down, pressing an affectionate kiss to the pale skin of Felix's belly. "Pander to me." He grinned, snickering a little. He felt almost lightheaded from the relief of all of this. The battle was over, they'd won, and they were beyond fortunate. It felt good to laugh, finally.
“In that case, darling, of course if I met you at home, I would immediately quit the job that’s paying all my bills in the name of healthy, loving monogamy.” Felix scratched the back of Remus’s head and leaned in to kiss his hair.
Remus crawled up in order to press a soft kiss against his mouth. "When you put it like that, it sounds impractical," he said lightly. "I'll tell you what. You quit your job and come live with me in a shack somewhere in Yorkshire, and we'll both live off Pot Noodles and I'll handle all the expenses through odd jobs. All for the sake of keeping you an honest man."
“Mm, I’ll think about it.” Felix lazily wrapped his arms around Remus and kissed him again, half out of his clothes by then. “I’m so fucking tired, Remus. If there’s going to keep being sieges, they need to be a little shorter.”
"It could be longer," Remus said quietly. He didn't mean to bring the mood down, but there was a practical side here that he did have to look at. "These are isolated incidents. It could be a war, a real war, that just doesn't end. We could be losing people left and right, burying our friends and family…"
He bowed his head, resting his forehead against Felix's chest. The war had never left him, and even though he had his friends here, it didn't take away what had happened, what he knew. He really didn't mean to tell Felix that this wasn't so bad, because it was bad, but he was just so damn grateful to be holding Felix at the end of the day instead of coming home to an empty bed, alone.
Felix let out a long breath, idly rubbing Remus’s back. “You’ll have to excuse me for not being grateful that my life isn’t worse.” Even then, at least all of this was… general, almost. Nobody was specifically hunting his family, no one was crawling into people’s lives or their brains or their DNA.
"I don't mean it that way, it's just…" Remus wrapped his arms around Felix and held him as close as he could. "Every time something like this happens, I think it's going to be like it was at home. I think I'm going to lose everyone. Even if it's just a day. All it takes is a day."
“I try to take things as they come. I have to, or I’ll drive myself up the wall.” Felix buried his face against Remus’s hair, rubbing his cheek over it. “Don’t react to the end of the world until it comes, all right? It’ll get here on its own time. Don’t do it any favors.”