Greetings, salutations, et cetera. I am Sherlock Holmes. One 'version' of him, by the looks of it. A fact of which is disconcerting.
While I initially had reason to believe I was being quartered with Legolas, a second inspection of his appearance has not aligned with Tolkien's description. I still do not, however, agree with what it is my eyes have seen. Circumstances are not, as any new arrival can imagine, ideal.
My thanks for the mug and colourful pamphlet, it has given me a great deal of information of which I have, overall, very little use. I have been told I will be a part of law enforcement. To whom do I report? There's something I wish to discuss in private.