So I spent a lot of time thinking about what I was going to do today. If we were at home, this would be easy. I know exactly what we'd do in New York, I know exactly what I'd get you (I'm not going to spoil that for future birthdays), and I know exactly who'd be there. Here, it's hard. I can't just go buy your favorite dessert or something new to put on your nerd shelf. I can't bring Tommy here. I'm not good at making things, and I can't whisk you off to some far-away beach. (Well, I could, but it'd take hours to get there, with my wings.) I don't have magic to just ... wish whatever you want into existence. All you get is me. So here I am.
By the way, everyone, it's Billy's birthday. Now I'm going to embarrass him.
I never really believed in true love and fate and all that stuff until I met you. I didn't even think you'd like me when I first met you. I was nursing the biggest crush I'd ever had, and I really wanted to be cool and to impress you, because you were amazing, you know? I knew right away that you were special. Way more amazing than some kid who didn't even know what he was and had no idea what he was doing. I'd spent a lot of time trying to be someone I wasn't so that people would like me, and I thought I'd left that behind, but I'd look in the mirror and see this big doofus and I couldn't imagine how you'd ever like me. But you did. You did, and you accepted me just as I am. You loved me just as I am, because that's just who you are. You're one of the kindest, most accepting people I've ever met, and the way you care about everyone makes me a better person just by being around you.
And so ... happy birthday to the best dimension-hopping, bad-guy-fighting, superhero husband a guy could ask for. Thank you for never giving up on us no matter what's standing in the way. I love you.
Okay, that's it, everyone. I'll save the rest of the gross schmoopy stuff for just Billy. You're welcome in advance.