My Fight Club dreams came true last night. That's it. I've peaked. It's only downhill from here.
[ Filtered to Lady Friends (feel free to assume!) ]
Hey, I'm in need of a girls night. Let's drink fruity drinks and do each others hair and talk about skincare and boys!!
...or sit in my favorite dark corner of the Rose and practice our intimidating glowers. You know? Let's just go with that.
[ /Filter ]
[ Filtered Private - TRIGGER WARNING for ruminations on abuse ]
Second chances. Don't they sound nice? To err is human, to forgive, Divine. We all make mistakes. We all hurt feelings, screw up, put ourselves first, and get really human. Sometimes it's a one-off, sometimes it's a phase. But with enough perspective and time, we understand how we messed up and try to be self-aware enough not to do it again.
But what happens when you cross a line? What happens when your destructive behavior is no longer singular errors but an entire life philosophy? When either a tragedy or trauma drives your actions to the point where it becomes your personality, and you go from "someone who isn't perfect" to "bad guy"?
The idea of second chances makes -almost- everyone feel good. The screw-ups get to keep breathing free air. The rest of us get to feel like better people. But the living victims? They get told to make it work. Your abuser is trying. We've made a decision to be better people and now you have to, too. Don't sink to their level. Don't hold on to the past. Everyone loves a victim, nobody likes a hardened bitch. Feel sad about it, but not too long. And if you live in a crowded Mountain with the person who's wronged you, well, don't put up too much of a fuss. We'll think you like the drama. We'll think you brought it on yourself. We'll think you asked for it.
Awful lot of talk about second chances, here. Not enough talk about active recovery. There are some great groups here to help people deal with dying back home, addictions, and I'm not going to knock those. They're not my world, and I hope they help those who need them. But how do you move on - how do you get a second chance - when the people that wronged you could stand in front of you in the mess hall line and be told "have a great day" at check out?
There's something wrong with Cullen. Beyond the Troubles thing. I could ask. Are we there yet? I don't want to talk about my monsters. I thought it was just him being old-fashioned but he all but leaped to close the shower door There's something there. And I could ask him, but then I'd need to talk too, and I don't-
Second chances are for the monsters of the world. The rest of us have to make do with being inspiring examples.