Dr. Adam Berkowitz (tkdoc) wrote in supernextdoor, @ 2012-07-09 22:51:00 |
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Entry tags: | 10.15.11, adam, adam and izumi, izumi |
Blind Date
Who: Adam and Izumi
What: Blind coffee date
When: 10.15.11 - Saturday Afternoon
Where: A local coffee shop
Warnings: None
Izumi had a very difficult time deciding what she wanted to wear to the coffee date she had with Adam Berkowitz that afternoon. She knew that he'd be coming from church and likely dressed nicely so she wanted to dress at least properly. She couldn't show up looking like a hoochie when he was all suited up and looking likely debonair. Izumi couldn't remember the last time she'd paid that much attention to her clothing really. She liked to look nice, but it was different when it was a date. Especially a blind date. She went through about five outfits before settling on a simple dress. Dressy enough without looking out of place. She collected a lacy sweater-like jacket and slipped that on with it.
Getting Noah dressed to go over to see Grandma and Grandpa was much easier. But boys tended to be easy regardless. After dropping her son off, she headed over to the coffee shop and settled at a table near the entrance so she could watch for Adam though she really didn't know much about what the man looked like. She'd already ordered herself a cup of tea while waiting and was worrying on her lower lip when an attractive man with glasses entered the shop wearing a suit. She couldn't help but silently hope this man was Adam and not the sweaty guy entering behind him looking like he'd been stuffed into his suit. Izumi closed her eyes and sent out a prayer.
Adam was nervous himself. He'd taken off his prayer shawl and tucked it into his laptop bag with him, but he'd totally forgotten about the yarmulke pinned to the back of his head. Adam had actually seen a picture Izumi, so he recognized her immediately. He paused when he spotted her though. She looked very lovely in what she was wearing. "Izumi?" he said as he approached the table. "Sorry if I kept you waiting. I can never get out of temple without getting stopped at least six times." He held out his hand to her. "I'm Adam. Nice to meet you."
Izumi breathed a little sigh of relief when the man said her name. Thankfully it wasn't the robust man that had entered the shop, but the adorable one. Whew. She stood up and accepted the offered hand, smiling at him as he apologized. "No, I haven't been waiting long," she promised him. Releasing his hand, she settled back into her chair again. "Nice to meet you as well. I wasn't sure what you wanted to drink so I left your ordering to you," she told him.
He released her hand. "It's very nice to meet you," he assured her, letting Izumi take her seat before settling in the seat across from her. "You look really lovely," he added, hopefully excusing any staring he was doing. Which Adam was trying to refrain from, because it was rude. "I'm fine for now. But thank you." He was a little distracted, this was never easy and it was difficult to figure out where to even begin these discussions. "I'm sorry, I'm still getting my grasp of English back," he joked. "Services are in Hebrew, so my brain hasn't switch languages completely yet."
Her cheeks turned a bit pink at his compliment, but she smiled broadly at him. "Thank you. You look nice as well. Handsome," she murmured. Her eyes wandered over him and she noticed the yarmulke and arched a brow slightly. "Do you always wear those?" she asked, motioning towards her own head to explain what she was talking about. "Like I've said before, I have no idea about your culture," she admitted, blushing a bit more deeply and hoping she didn't sound rude.
When she motioned to the back of her head and mentioned the yarmulke, he groaned. "Oy," he muttered, reaching up and unpinning it. "No. Some men do, but I don't. Just to temple. I forgot I had it on. Sorry." He folded the bit of cloth in half and tucked it into his suit pocket. He should just confess to being hideously forgetful now, but he really didn't want to make a bad impression. "And thank you. For the compliment." He shook his head again. "It's okay to ask," he told her. "Expecting you to know anything when you've said twice you don't would be silly. I assure you, though, it's not very alien. I didn't mean to make it sound that way. It's just something that needs to be addressed right off, is all."
"No need to apologize," she told him, shaking her head. "You're welcome," she went on. As for whether or not it was alright to ask questions, the flush seemed to deepen on her cheeks and she sighed a little. "I just don't want to be rude," she admitted. "Or ask something silly or make a negative impression on you right from the start. I have horrible luck with this whole blind date thing. With dating in general if I'm being honest," she told him. "But you know that already too." Izumi laughed nervously and lifted her cup, taking a sip of her tea as she tried to calm her nerves.
"You are not being rude, silly, or making a bad impression," he assured her. "You are being very respectful and honestly, a little paranoid. I'm not that easy to offend. I was an ER doctor in some of the worst parts of New York City for five years. Trust me, I am much thicker skinned than I seem." He smiled at her. "I'm 35 and still single. I can relate to lack of luck in dating. Most women find out pretty fast that most doctors are already married to their jobs, and don't want to be the other woman." That probably wasn't helping him, but it felt like the truth at times. "And that's not what you want to hear, I'm sure. But I prefer to be completely honest. Which is probably why I'm still single."
"I am being silly," she told him. "In being paranoid at least." She shook her head as she sat her cup down again and gently dabbed at her mouth with her napkin. "I'm being awkward but I'm sure we'll be able to get past that in a little while," she assured him. Mostly she was trying to assure herself. He was thirty-five, older than her but not by too much. It was better that way as far as Izumi was concerned. Younger men tended to be more prone to cheating, less likely to want a ready-made family and more often than not; bums. "Honesty is always the best way to start a relationship, romantically or platonically," she told him. "So I admire that in you already. And I don't mind being the other woman. I mean... well.. you know what I mean," she said, laughing a little at the way that sounded. "I can't expect to be number one on anyone's list when I've already got a number one on mine. I told you already that I have a little boy and he takes up a great deal of my time as it is. And I have work, so being busy is probably not the biggest concern between the two of us if we hit it off."
"You're just nervous," he agreed. "It'll pass. I am too, I am just better at hiding because of my job. You can't show your nerves when you're up to your elbows in someone's abdominal cavity. It's not good bedside manner." He grinned at her. "That was a joke. Kind of." It was partially true, but also mean in light humor.
Adam chuckled when she said that. "Good to know," he teased. "No, I understand completely. My shifts aren't as bad when I worked in the ER. I do get called in from time to time to work there, but mostly I have banker's hours now. Nine to five, home less than 12 hours after I left for work. Which I'm still getting used to. It's really nice." He smiled at Izumi. "I'd like to see a picture of your son. I'm more than a little curious about him, from the little you've told me."
She was relaxing a little already. Adam was very kind thus far and he didn't seem to mind her nervous paranoia. He also didn't seem to mind Noah either and that pleased her. It was certainly further than any other man had gotten up until that point. When he asked to see a picture of Noah, she grinned brightly at him. "Well I have tons of pictures," she told him honestly, reaching for her purse and shuffling through for her phone. She brought up the gallery and didn't bother flipping through, they were all of Noah either alone, with her or with friends or his grandparents. She handed the phone to Adam so he could see the little boy. "This is Noah, my pride and joy."
He smiled again, taking the phone from her. "Of course you do," he pointed out. "He's your child." Adam started looking through them, trying to get a feel for the child's temperment and personality from the candids. "He's an angel. So cute." The boy seemed happy and healthy and clearly had a loving family besides his mother. "His father was a putz," he concluded as he handed her back her phone. "Giving up that chance. Not that he deserved it anyway, considering."
Adam waved over the waitress and ordered a black coffee with sugar. Then he turned his attention back to Izumi. "But enough about him," he dismissed. "Your ex, I mean. Tell me about you. And Noah, of course." It would be easier for her to talk about her son and he could glean a lot about her from that alone.
Noah was indeed an angel. Sometimes. "He can fool you," she smiled. "He's adorable and fully aware of that fact. He's already got pouting and cute little puppy dog eyes down to a fine art." Noah, for being only two, was very intelligent. He knew how to play people, but children often did. Especially the cute ones that could weasel anything they wanted. Like playing with Grandpa today even though Izumi wasn't sure her father needed to have the rambunctious toddler pouncing on him all day long.
She was glad when Adam dismissed talk of Noah's father. He was right when he said he didn't deserve the chance at being in Noah's life. He didn't. He'd never even laid eyes on the little boy and while Izumi didn't like that Noah didn't have a father figure in his life, she was thankful that he'd not gotten attached to him before he left, never to be seen again. It was much easier to handle this way. At least for Noah.
"Well, I work as a receptionist," she told him. "I am very organized, but that goes with the receptionist bit. Which means I'm good at my job. I like to read. A lot. I spend far too much time in the toddler section of stores, even when I tell myself that I'm not going to buy a single toy when I walk inside," she grinned. "I like to dance. And cook. I sing. In the shower only and always off key. Or lullabies. Noah doesn't seem to mind that I can't really carry a tune. Noah is two, just recently turned two, actually. He's a boy if there ever was one. He likes to be tossed about. He's really a good boy and doesn't give me much trouble save for getting into everything," she smiled. "Is there anything else you'd like to know?"
Adam chuckled at her words. "I thought this was a date, not an interrogation?" he quipped. "No really, you both sound wonderful. I'm just curious about you. I got the 'she's perfect for you' spiel from Tessa." He shook his head. "Of course, the fact she tried to arrange me a date for Friday night shows how little she actually knows about me. So feel free to ask any question you want. I have nothing to hide. Really."
Izumi smiled at him and shook her head a little. "I think that anyone trying to play matchmaker thinks that they know everything that there is to know without knowing anything at all." Not that she knew Tessa or minded much since Adam was a nice man, but still. "What made you decide to become a doctor?" she asked him. It was a simple and easy place to start.
"Truer words have never been spoken," he agreed wryly. As for her question, Adam chuckled. "Because I didn't want to be a lawyer or a rabbi," he explained with a big of a grin and a shrug. "It was an expectation that I'd have a serious profession. My father and both my grandfathers were rabbis. That's enough holy men in one family. I have no interest in law." He took a drink of his coffee before continuing. "When I was 13 years old, I developed psychic powers. I'm a telekinetic. But it piqued my interest in genetic research and supernaturals in general. I planned to be a geneticist, but a trip to the ER with my roommate after an accident changed my mind. I could do a lot more for people like myself, and people in general, as an ER doctor than in a lab staring at genetic strains. So I went for an emergency medicine specialization and helped the other supernaturally inclined hide their powers and from awkward questions while I was a resident. I got quite the underground reputation and about four months ago, an SAO representative come forward offering me a position at the clinic. I took it without hesitation. So here I am."
She was a little surprised when he revealed that he was telekinetic. It made it easier to reveal her own powers, however and so since he'd brought up his, she decided it was best to bring out her own. "I have powers too," she admitted, a bit more quietly as she glanced around the shop. "I didn't really understand them at first," she explained. "I didn't think that they were what they are. My father left my mother and I when I was very little so I didn't know him and I inherited my gifts from him. When he came into my life again, recently, he explained what I was going through and that it ran in his side of the family."
Which probably was confusing the hell out of Adam at that point since she'd yet to say what she was. "I'm a dreamwalker," she explained. "Which is basically what it sounds like. It's somewhat confusing really. I'm still not entirely sure of all the things it entails honestly. But it's nice to know that there are people out there like you willing to help people like me. And people like you too I suppose," she smiled. "It also makes me less nervous around you because I don't have that 'I'm supernatural' cloud hanging over my head."
Adam had become open about his powers since he'd came to DC. He wanted people to know and understand and not be afraid of supernaturals or be afraid of letting it be found out they were supernaturals. Education was the only way to fight the ignorance and fear. He felt badly that she'd grown up without a father and had powers she didn't understand, though. He knew what the latter felt like, considering how he had no one to help him learn to control his gifts..
"I know what a dreamwalker is," he assured her. "There's not a lot of information about them, but I've heard them mentioned here and there. Only runs in Native American bloodlines. Which you said one of your parents was." He shook his head. "Yes, exactly why I'm doing what I do and I'm so open about my powers. We shouldn't have that stigma. We are just like everybody else. We just have talents. Being able to levitate things with my mind is no different than an exceptional singing voice or artistic talent. It's simply something we can do. The sooner everyone accepts this, the better off everyone will be."
Izumi agreed with that fact. It was a talent. Something she was born with. Comparing it to singing or art was really quite lovely honestly and she smiled a little at the comparison. "My father is Native American," she explained. "I got a bit of his height and that gift for dreams. Otherwise I'm my mother's daughter," she smiled. "A bit of a mutt really, but I don't really mind. I'd rather be a mixture because I suppose all those puzzle pieces made me who I am and I find I like who I am regardless." Which was one thing she had to admit that she'd never had too much of a problem with. While she could be insecure at times, and a worrier, she usually didn't let it cloud her judgement of herself for too long. She had more important things to worry about.
Adam nodded. She had extremely long legs for an Asian woman, something that had not escaped his notice. "Aren't we all?" he said. "Actually, I can't say that. Both sides of my family are German descended Jews. It's where the red hair comes from." The Jewish were often insular and married in their own ranks to preserve their culture and bloodlines. Not something he entirely agreed with. Considering the lack of diversity this caused, not to mention the 'us versus them' attitude the Jewish community had about Gentiles. It was just a bad idea to isolate oneself over differences. "The world could use more of that accepting attitude and diversity," he agreed. "Just because I'm religious, doesn't mean I want it to define me completely. Same with being a doctor or a telekinetic. I am not just one facet of myself. Neither are you. No one is. But society wants to put labels on us based on a few facets to try and understand. There has to be a less isolating way for people to understand." He shook his head at himself. "Sorry, went off on a rant. I just find it frustrating at times. Especially the damage this 'us and them' attitude has brought through history. It just doesn't do anyone any good."
Izumi shook her head a little. "Don't be sorry," she told him. "I completely agree. People are far too judgemental and what good does it do? All the crime in the area lately has been about nothing but hate and ignorance. It's ridiculous, honestly. People hating other people for things beyond their control. I can understand hating someone for being a jerk, but for being supernatural or gay or African American? It's ridiculous. Truly ridiculous." It frustrated her as well. Especially when people would assume things based solely on the way that someone looked or what they thought described the person. She sighed a little and shook her head. "You'd be surprised how ignorant some people are. Or maybe you wouldn't. I've been called all sorts of things simply because of the way I look. I think my father would have a cow if he knew the things men screamed or whistled at me walking down the street."
Adam shook his head. "I got called in to help at the ER when there was the riot at Mercy," he admitted. "No, I wouldn't be surprised. Especially where I lived. And trust me, I've gotten my share of racial slurs thrown at me. Part of it is the Jewish people's own fault. We're so insular to protect ourselves from the prejudice that we've been facing since Biblical times, we've become a mysterious 'them' and it's small wonder people are suspicious." He shook his head, then frowned. "I thought you said your father left when you were a small child?"
"He did," Izumi admitted, nodding a little. "It's all very complicated really. He wasn't handling his own abilities very well then and he did a lot of things that he shouldn't have done and one night it just became too much and he left." There was really no other way to describe what had happened. "I was a baby," she explained. "And my mother did what she had to do to raise me and it was only recently that my father came back into both of our lives. And now they're just as complicated," she laughed. "They've gotten back together... sort of. It's all confusing. But he's back in my life which is what I wanted. And he's doing better himself as well which is all I can ask. He was involved in the riot at Mercy actually. He works there as a bouncer," she explained.
Drugs. Sounded like drugs. Her father wouldn't be the first supernatural who couldn't handle their gifts and turned to drugs or alcohol as a coping mechanism. Adam nodded, then let out a soft chuckle. "That does sound confusing," he admitted, shaking his head. His brow furrowed as he tried to remember the patients from that night. "He wasn't the big native man with the concussion and the broken ribs? I remember they were complaining because he couldn't have opiate sedatives and were trying to find something to give him. That and he was the person the worst injured. Well, there were three more who were pretty bad. Concussions, broken noses, somebody worked them over good."
"That would be him," Izumi told Adam, nodding a little. "Very big native man," she smiled. "Stubborn as a mule too." She didn't say anything about the sedatives, not wanting to address her father's issues at that moment. It wasn't her place to talk about them really. "He's recovering well, thankfully. Now if Noah will leave him be. Grandma and Grandpa are babysitting him today," she smiled. "He seems to think that his Grandfather is a tree."
Adam chuckled at the clarification. "Duly noted," he remarked with a grin. "I'm glad to hear it. And that he wasn't hurt worse. Don't worry, there's not much damage a two year old can do. And considering the description, it's not hard to make that assumption. Especially the way little boys like to play. Even I fell out of my fair share of trees as a boy."
Izumi grinned a little. "I doubt that Noah could do much damage to him," she admitted. "My father is a very... sturdy man. He looks strange with my mother. Beside her at least. She's very petite and slender and just tiny. Like a doll. And he's... well, built like a tree honestly," she laughed. "We're quite the family, that's for sure. What about your parents?" she asked. "Do they live in the city?"
"Good thing too," he said. "Especially if he insists on babysitting a two year old. They're fearless." Adam shrugged. "Well, they do say opposites attract. And I'm sure they were as exotic to each other as you seem to me. I grew up in a Jewish community in New York City. Most of the girls I knew were like me. German or Italian descended Jews who's families immigrated over in the mid-30s to escape the dictators who'd come into power. I didn't start seeing people of different races until college."
He shook his head. "Nope, I'm from Brooklyn," he told her. "I figured the accent would give me away." Adam grinned, he was teasing, even if he did have a pretty marked Brooklyn accent. "My parents and Bubbeh still live there. I miss them, but I'm kind of enjoying the freedom too. It's nice to have my own life without my family's constant input on everything. They mean well, but I'm a grown man, for the love of the Almighty."
She smiled when he commented about how exotic she was to him. She'd never really thought of herself quite that way, but it did feel good to hear it. "Exotic, huh?" she murmured, taking a sip of her tea, eyes on his as she drank. Maybe blind dates weren't so bad after all.
"Right," she said, setting her cup back on the table. "You mentioned that I think. Brooklyn. I was born in New York, actually. I lived there until I found out I was pregnant with Noah," she explained. "Then my relationship with his father fell apart and my mother had moved here so I just followed after her. We've been here ever since. We've probably passed each other a dozen times in the city," she teased, even if it was very possible.
Adam flushed a little, which was more obvious with his pale complexion than hers. "Yes, exotic," he assured her. "I can't be the first man who's told you that?" If so, then he seriously had to wonder about the men in DC. Really.
"Yeah, I thought you sounded like a fellow New Yorker," he admitted. "People from DC have that Southern drawl a bit. Which part of the city are you from?" New York City was huge and it was possible she was from a completely different area. Especially considering she'd grown up with a single mother who had to fight to make ends meet. Adam had grown up in a middle class Jewish neighborhood. Worlds away from hers. most likely. "Possibly, although I have been pretty much going to work and home and temple and back. I'm enjoying this thing called sleep, I haven't done it since pre-med."
He was absolutely adorable when he blushed. She found herself grinning at him, unable to keep the smile inside. "Well if people think it, it's never been said to me in such a kind manner," she told him. "So thank you."
"I'm from Queens," she told him. "Astoria." New York City was massive, indeed and she really didn't get out much herself so perhaps they'd never been on the same street at the same time. Regardless, they were both sitting in the same coffee shop now and that amused her. Both from relatively the same place and then to meet here now? It was an interesting turn of events. "I don't get out much here," she admitted. "And I'm a big fan of sleep as well. I'm finding that I often like to get a babysitter just so I can remember what it's like," she laughed. "Thankfully Noah sleeps regularly and doesn't wake up much in the night. I'm finding that sleep is far underappreciated."
Adorable seemed to be the female population of the world's opinion of him. Adam had gotten used to it, since it had been an assessment he'd heard all of his life. At 35, it was a bit disheartening though. "Somehow, I don't want to know what the less kind manner has been," he scoffed. "You're welcome."
Queens. Yeah, might as well have been a different city. "I did my internship in Clinton," he told her. "That was an experience." Hell's Kitchen had gotten better with the beautification project, but it was still a pretty rough place deserving of its nickname. "I was working in Flatbush until just a few months ago. I'd never left New York City itself before I moved here. I went to NYU, which was in your neck of the woods, so maybe we did pass each other in the streets back then."
Adam chuckled. "You have a two year old," he said. "You probably don't get any more sleep than I do. Although it's good to know he sleeps through the night. It'll get better as he gets older."
"No, you do not want to hear the less kind manner," she admitted. "A lot of men just seem to assume that if they've seen one Asian woman doing certain... things, that all of them are like that. Regardless, the rudeness that I've heard over the years still amazes me." She shook her head a little and pushed those thoughts aside.
"Neither had I," she told him. "I lived there my whole life until Ryo and I separated. He went on with his life and I moved here to stay with my mother until I could get on my feet. Once I'd done that with waitressing jobs I found my current job and we've lived comfortably. I certainly don't miss the long nights I had as a waitress. At least now I have time with Noah more. I felt a little like I was abandoning him every time I walked out the door," she sighed. The best thing that had come out of her time as a waitress was her mother's bonding with Noah. She wouldn't have changed that for the world.
"Do you want children?" she asked him after a brief pause. "Later on, I mean. When you find someone to share your life with."
Yes, he'd seen and heard enough of that living in NYC all of his life. Adam scoffed at that, muttering not very complimentary things about men like that under his breath in Yiddish. If she asked what he said, he wouldn't be able to translate. She was a lady.
She'd had a rough time of it. He nodded. "You've done quite well without him though," he agreed. "And your son looks very happy and healthy and is obviously loved. It's always hard when a mother has to work. Because raising a child isn't a full time job and then some." He loathed that particular ideal himself. His mother nor his grandmother had ever worked outside the home and it wasn't something he'd ever force on his own wife unless she actually wanted to. Keeping him organized would be a full time job as it was.
"Yes," he said, not really surprised at the question. This was supposed to be a date after all. "That's always been my eventual plan. Find a nice girl to settle down with, get married and have children. It just hasn't panned out." He turned the question on her. "Do you want more children?" It was understandable if she didn't.
She arched a brow when he muttered in another language. She didn't ask him to translate, figuring it likely wasn't anything nice. She was fairly certain that she knew exactly what he wanted to say, even if she hadn't understood it.
She indeed had a rough time, but it was all worth it when Noah smiled at her or called her name. She thought she'd done a tremendous job as a single parent with the help of her mother and now her father. Raising her son and having a job at the same time, all while being fairly young with a life of her own. Izumi might have liked to spend more time at home, leave her job and be a housewife, but it hadn't been in the cards she was dealt.
"I do," she told him with a nod. "I always wanted to be a mother. I had an ideal of having a husband and the whole white picket fence but it didn't happen that way. But it wasn't right for me at the time. I'd like to have children with whoever I marry. I'd like to do things the 'right way' as it were. I suppose only time will tell if that happens or not." Izumi shrugged a little. She thought perhaps that this wasn't the best conversation to be having on a first date. A blind one at that. There wasn't much she could do about it now, however.
She had been the one who'd brought it up. Adam was just answering her honestly. "Of course," he said. "I think we all have some kind of romantic ideal. I grew up with the concept of everyone having one true love that was made for them by the Almighty himself. And spent my entire life hoping to to find that person. Hasn't happened yet, but maybe someday."
Izumi smiled a little at his words. She too hoped that eventually true love would find her. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but sometime. "I suppose I think more about it now because I'm not just thinking for myself. I want Noah to have a father figure in his life. Hopefully while he's still young when that role model is so important. Having my father around is nice, but it's not quite the same," she shrugged. "At the same time, though, having a child makes dating a bit difficult. Like I told you on the phone, most men hear about him and turn and run. Ready made families don't seem to be something a lot of men are looking for. And I really can't blame them if I'm being honest. To each their own I suppose. Which is why I told you about him before this date," she murmured. "I'd like to thank you for the way you reacted. I'm not used to people being so accepting. Usually I get judged the moment I bring him up."
Adam nodded. "Of course your first concern would be your child," he said. "As I said on the phone, that should go without saying. But the only way you'll find out if a man is compatible is to give him a chance. Let him interact with your son under your careful watch. See how Noah reacts. Children understand more than people give them credit for. If he doesn't get along with the man, then it's a good indicator he's not right for you."
She nodded. "You're right," she agreed. And he was. Noah was an excellent judge of character, which was one of the reasons she knew that her father had truly changed. Noah loved him. Begged for him at times. Which just made it more clear that Rand was right for not only her life but for her son's and her mother's. "He is a very good judge of character. He always knows a creep when he sees one."
He chuckled. "He's a smart kid," he agreed. "Gets it from his mother, I'm sure." Adam took a drink of his coffee. "I'm going to have to thank Tessa on Monday. I don't know many people in the city yet, and while this isn't exactly what she had in mind, you're very nice and I'd love to have coffee again with you." Adam was definitely not feeling that spark, but he liked Izumi and he could use some friends here that weren't co-workers.
Izumi smiled at his compliment. "And I would like that as well," she agreed. Izumi wasn't sure if there was a spark or not, but either way Adam seemed like a decent man and she could always use more friends. She certainly wouldn't object to a coffee partner. All in all the blind date hadn't been so bad. Maybe she needed to go on a few more. Only time would tell.