thediaryofjayne (thediaryofjayne) wrote in supernextdoor, @ 2012-06-22 11:34:00 |
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Entry tags: | 10.15.11, jayne, jayne and max, max |
I'll never doubt again
Who: Jayne and Max
What: Quick little talk
When: 10.15 - Saturday Mornng
Where: Office at the Stumble Inn
Warning: None
Max pulled Jayne into the office, then into his arms as he leaned back against the door. He was still shaking a bit. Rattled to his core. His own sister, the one he'd always protected and tried to be there for, had tried to ruin the best thing that had ever happened to him. Because God only knew why. Maybe she was just hurt because Dante dumped her. Maybe she really was worried about Max and Jayne and thought she was trying to do the right thing by making them stop and think. And maybe she had just lost it completely. It was impossible to say, and at this point, he didn't really care. If she came back, things would never be the same and that hurt the most.
"I love you," he told Jayne, face buried against her throat, holding her as close as he could. Part of him was still afraid too much of what Ophelia had said, most of which was true, was going to be too much for Jayne. It had been too much for him, and it was his life. "I'm sorry," he told her. "I'm sorry she did that. I can't believe she'd sink that low. I don't even know why she did it. I love you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. You make me believe I can be more than what I was. And she- she tried to destroy that. Destroy us." Yeah, he was broken and not making any sense. Torn open and raw and hurting. He didn't know what to say, how to explain it all. He was just afraid of losing Jayne.
Jayne knew he was hurting and as he rambled on and on trying to put what he felt were the pieces of them back together, she realized exactly how much he'd been torn apart by his sister and what she'd said. She hadn't liked Ophelia before and she certainly didn't like her now. Not in the slightest. She tried not to hate people, at least not entirely, but Ophelia was the closest person to earning the position to the girl. "Shh," she whispered, lifting her hand to stroke through his hair, hoping to calm her husband even just a little bit. "You don't have anything to be sorry for," she assured him.
She guided his head away from her throat, catching both of his cheeks and letting her eyes meet his. "I love you," she told him, making sure he was looking in her eyes so he'd know she was being honest. "And when I married you I said for better or worse and I meant it. Til death do us part. Okay? I'm not going anywhere. Ophelia didn't destroy anything, least of all us. You and me are endgame, baby, there's no two ways about it." She gave him a gentle smile and leaned up to press a soft kiss to his lips. "I love you," she told him once more. "And that hasn't changed. If anything I love you more now than I did this morning."
Max was relieved by everything Jayne said. He hadn't expected her to be completely torn apart, she was stronger than that. But there was a lot there and he couldn't deny most of it. Josh had nailed it. They'd been the monsters. And that would always hurt. Especially knowing he could have destroyed Jayne that day and never known any of what he had with her. He would always hate himself a little for pulling his gun on her. Even if had ended for the best. "I love you," he told her again. "I just don't want you to think-" He swallowed hard. "I won't promise not to use the charm on you. You fell in love with me knowing I was a grifter with a dark past. But I will never, ever lie to you or use it to con you. Okay?" The rest of the stuff he couldn't deny, but it was the past. It needed to stay there. Forever.
"Maxy," she murmured gently, running her thumbs along his cheekbones. "I know you wouldn't lie to me. I know you'd never con me. I don't question a second of the time that I've spent with you and I know that I want to spend the rest of my life here, right here beside you. I've never been more certain of that in my life. Ophelia was wrong. I know exactly what I got myself into when I said 'I do'. I got this charming, sweet, intelligent, protective man who loves me so fiercely that sometimes it terrifies me. A guy that took a past he'd like to forget and turned it into a future that he can be proud of. Look at you, Max. Just take a second and think about who you are. All that you're about. Look at how much it took for you to let her go and even now, I know you wish she'd come back. That right there shows me that you're the best thing that ever happened to me." She was firm in her belief that Max was it for her. Everything she'd ever dreamed of and never thought she'd achieve. "I wouldn't trade a second of any time I've spent with you. Not one second."
Max was getting glassy eyed, glad no one but Jayne could see him right now. She'd keep his secrets. His brothers knew how hard he took this stuff inside, but they'd never seen it break him. Only Jayne had seen him cry or break. He wouldn't stay broken, mostly because they wouldn't let him. His family. Ophelia was the one who didn't know what she was walking away from. But that was on her. He smiled wryly at Jayne, letting out a long breath. "And this is why you're my heroine," he told her as he leaned in for a kiss. "You're the bravest person I know, Princess. Always ready to save me from myself and the world. I couldn't live without you anymore. That's why it hurt so much when she tried to tear us apart. Why I said 'I do.' I'm not letting you go. Ever."
"Maybe second bravest," she murmured, leaning up for another little kiss. "I learned from the best after all," she smiled. Jayne slipped her arms around him and held tight to him for a long moment, her head resting against his chest. "I'm sorry that she hurt you," she told him. "I'm sorry that she said all of those awful things to you. About you. I don't care what you've done, Max, I don't. Everything you did anytime before I walked into that diner and saw you is the past. I don't care about it. It doesn't matter. It doesn't exist as far as I'm concerned and I'm not going to ask about it. If there's something you'd like me to know about it, I trust that you'd tell me. The rest can stay where it's at. In the past." There was no need to drudge up things that were old and gone, events that would never occur again.
"I didn't teach you anything you didn't already know," he told her honestly. "You can't teach someone to be brave. They either are or they're not. You stared down the barrel of a gun and still saw the person behind it for who he really was. I'm not that brave. That was all you." He kissed Jayne again. "If it comes up, for a good reason, I will tell you. But yeah, I just want to live for now. Right now is the best time of my life. Because of you." He reached up and brushed her hair back from her face. "I'm sorry I doubted you. I just- I was afraid it would be too much. Because of how much it I wish I could say never happened. I should have had more faith in you. I will never doubt you again."
Jayne smiled at him, more broadly this time as she caught his eyes. "That should be my line, Buttercup," she teased. She shook her head a little and stole another kiss from him. "There won't be a need," she assured him, stealing Westley's line because it seemed fitting. "Come on, let's go get you some breakfast. We've got a bar to open and tonight it's supposed to be raining." She smirked after that last bit, hoping that would bring him out of his mood. Her fingers slid down his chest and teased over the front of his jeans. "I think you're healed enough by now."
Max chuckled at that. "You can be my Westley any day, Princess," he assured her, leaning down to kiss Jayne. "We're all modern and 21st Century like that. Equal opportunity rescuing." He shuddered as Jayne reminded it was going to rain tonight and groped him. "With that kind incentive?" he teased. "If you want, I can fly."
He got a grin for that one. "Oh you'll fly," she told him as she caught his lips once more and reluctantly slid her hand back up his chest. "I fully intend to dance close to you any time good music comes on, torture you a little bit with longing glances and deliberately bend in extraordinary ways just to lure you in. Then I plan on making up for the last few days of not getting to defile my husband," she smirked.
"Promise?" Max challenged, starting to get some of his spark back. "I'm going to be at the bar all night. You're going to get me fired, distracting me." Yeah, so she couldn't, but it felt good to tease. "Oh yeah, I definitely owe you for that." He kissed her again, this time more teasing and hungry. Now they needed to get out of here before they ended their dry spell on the desk. "You gonna help us get set up after we eat?" They could use the help, considering they were now shorthanded.
Jayne smiled at him and wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning up to kiss her husband again. "Of course I'm going to help you guys set up. I don't have anything else to do all day, baby. I'm at your service. Just tell me what I can do to help." It was really the least that she could do. Especially after the morning that the lasko boys had had. She was glad that the bar was opening tonight. It was a distraction and right now all of them could definitely use a distraction.
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