sg_blaine (sg_blaine) wrote in supergleerpg, @ 2011-10-11 01:23:00 |
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Current mood: | numb |
Current music: | Painting Flowers - All Time Low |
Entry tags: | !type: thread, -2011: october, character: blaine anderson, former character: olivia gilmore, ~complete |
Thread: Blaine and Olivia
Who: Blaine and Olivia
Where: Blaine’s estate
When: Oct. 11 in the afternoon
What: Olivia wants to talk to him about what happened to Puck
Warnings: Violence, mentions of rape, and language
She was the maddest she had been in a long time. She got out of her truck. She knew Blaine was home, she had gone to his house and waited until she had seen him get back. She headed up to the door, and knocked on it, and then laid on the bell. She was going to enjoy this. She knew Noah hadn’t wanted to admit it was rape, and technically, you could get away with saying it wasn’t but it kind of was. She could not believe that Blaine had done this to her boyfriend. Her Noah.. She yelled, “BLAINE FUCKING ANDERSON, GET YOUR ASS TO THE DOOR!” Not even caring if anyone heard her.
Blaine had gotten drunk, pissing drunk. His ass was sore from the men he’d slept with. He’d put on his tightest outfit, all of his young body on display. He wanted to forget, to erase the scent of Puck on his skin and those whiskey eyes accusing him, that voice ripping apart everything they had shared like it was nothing. He’d taken most of Monday to recover, but the dark circles from crying after each man left him still could be faintly seen. Blaine was loathe to open the door to any mad person screaming, but there was no need to alert the entire block. He opened the door. “Olivia.” He greeted tersely.
“Blaine.” Olivia spat out, and her hands were twitching to hit him. She made herself stop for the moment, better to get inside where there were no witnesses. “Blaine, I really need to talk to you.” She took a deep breath, and then said, “If you let me in, we can discuss it. If you don’t, I will yell until you do. You’ve really got no choice here.” She folded her arms. She didn’t even have her hair to mess with, she’d pulled it up so it wouldn’t be in the way when she wanted to kick Blaine’s ass.
Blaine’s triangle eyebrows raised into his hairline. “No need to be drastic.” He stepped back to motion her inward, shutting the door behind him. Looks like someone else was here to blame him for all their woes, what could she say now. “What is it?”
Olivia whirled on him as soon as the door was shut, yelling. “I can’t believe you did that to him. No matter what he came to do to you Blaine, that doesn’t excuse what you did. I LOVE him. He is not your boyfriend anymore! YOU TOSSED HIM OUT LIKE YESTERDAY’S TRASH.” She had to admit, this felt really good. “He is feeling so guilty about hurting me, but it was you who did this, with your fucking powers.” She said, her anger rising the more she talked. She started slapping at him, just wanting him to understand how much he had hurt her and Noah. She just wanted him to understand that he just couldn’t take what wasn’t his anymore. “Were you that jealous, Blaine?” She spat.
Blaine grabbed for her hands, trying to stop the rain of little strikes. The woman stormed into his house and started accusing him of raping Puck. Of all the ridiculous blameshifting he’d ever heard of! Finally he hand her wrists in each hand, topping the flailing. “Are you done yet?”
Olivia stopped, not able to fight him off. She sighed and relented. “Yes.” She stepped back a little. “I am still fucking pissed. I am not going to let you talk your way out of this. I know we can’t press charges, but I am here to tell you, that if you EVER touch him again, I will end you. I won’t kill you, but I will make your life a living hell. When I think about what you did to him, my blood boils. I can’t believe this, Blaine.” She was working on keeping her tears away, she had cried herself to sleep the night before when she’d thought about what Blaine had done to Noah.
Once Blaine thinks she won’t start hitting him again he releases her hands. He listens through her screaming, keeping his calm. Obviously Puck told her about their... moment. Puck’s little revenge on him. He also had apparently convinced the girl that he could make Puck sex him. “Anything else you want to get off your chest?”
Liv wasn’t sure what to say or do. She hadn’t expected Blaine to ask her that. She also noted how calm she was, and it almost pissed her off more. She didn’t like standing here all angry and Blaine being able to hold his calm. “Yeah, what gives you the right to take what you wanted from him when he obviously didn’t want to give it to you? I know he came over here to yell at you. And apparently punch you in the eye.” She said, spotting the faint shiner he still had on his eye. “Just don’t expect it to happen again, because he will never be in a room alone with you again. You will not take him from me. I will not let you. Noah is my boyfriend, he loves me. You had him and you threw him away. I don’t understand how guys like you are able to just live your life without feeling guilty. Do you feel bad at all about what you did to him?!” She asked, her voice rising again.
“I doubt any of my answers would satisfy you. How about you lay in and give me a matching shiner. You can then storm out justified and victorious that you’ve punished the pure evil that you are sure I am.” He was still deadly calm.
She thought for a second she was going lose her mind. She did want to punch him, but she knew that as much as she wanted to, it was not the answer. She shook her head. “No, I want to, don’t get me wrong. But I’m not going to. And Noah doesn’t know I’m here, I’m not planning on telling him I was. I don’t understand how you could do this Blaine. I cried myself to sleep last night. I was almost raped myself, so I know how Noah has to be feeling. And actually, he has to be feeling worse than I do.” She felt a nauseous feeling in her stomach, and it made her pause in her ranting for a second. “Ok, sorry, not sure what that was.” She then shook her head, and tried to pick up her train of thought.
Blaine watched, the pain of Puck’s lie burning through him for a moment. He knew nothing about what it felt like to be violated. As she touched her stomach he moved, still listening, but pulling a bottled water from the fridge to offer to her. Once she took it he motioned for her to continue.
Olivia was surprised, but she took it, thanking him. She took a drink, before she tried to remember what she had been saying. She then started again. “Do you even know what it feels like to have something like that happen to you? To know that there’s nothing you can do to stop it? To have someone so much stronger than you force you to do something you don’t want to?” She asked, grimacing as her stomach lurched again. She hadn’t even eaten anything that day. How could she be sick? She tried to arrange anger on her face again as she turned back to Blaine.
“Yes.” It was simple, no detail added, no out-pouring of sob story that was fabricated or meant to pull her sympathy. He stated the truth. Why should he go into detail if she was likely not to believe?
“If it wasn’t rape or near rape, then I’m sorry, it’s not the same.” She said, but somewhere in her, she was sorry for what he had been through, even after what he had done to Noah. She sighed. “Blaine, I don’t know if you meant to do it or not, but I honestly don’t care. All I know is, Noah is so messed up about it and he was so scared to tell me what happened. I don’t want him to be afraid to tell me things. If you would like to tell me your version of what happened, you can, I promise I will let you finish before I start yelling, ‘cause I can’t promise that I won’t.” She knew she wanted this over, she really felt sick, and she just wanted to get back to her hotel bed and lay down.
Still patient he listened to her comments. He laughed, a small bitter sound that had nothing to do with mirth. “You don’t want me to know that kind of violation because it humanizes me, it makes us share something fragile. I don’t blame you. No, Olivia you don’t want to hear my side, not really. You want a reason to hate me. Really you don’t need a single word from me. You have all that you need to hate me until your dying day. I’m now that sickening man who tried to make you helpless, who made you helpless and hurting and out of control of your body and life.” Blaine was leaning back against the back of the couch. “Olivia, take whatever you want from my words, twist them, say them in your head until they turn into what you want. There, anger justified, justice served, or what ever reason it was you came here for.”
“I came here to kick your ass, make you pay for what you did to Noah. I just, I don’t really feel like kicking your ass anymore.” She said, and sighed. “I wish I still did, because that would make all of this easier. Do you think I like thinking about it? Because I don’t. Noah is everything to me. I love him so much that sometimes it takes my breath away. Do you blame me for being upset? I mean, let’s say you didn’t do it, and Noah meant to cheat on me. That makes me the victim, not Noah. And you could have stopped it. But seriously, can you blame me? How would you feel? I mean, seriously, what if someone did this to someone you were with? How would you feel? Tell me honestly, because I don’t know how you expect me to feel anything else.”
“Olivia I don’t have any expectations of you feelings. I don’t know what it’s like to feel what you are right now. I’m not blaming you, I’m not accusing you of anything. All of your emotions are valid. No matter what way you cut it you’re a victim of me in some sense.”
She was taken aback. She didn’t know what to say, and all of a sudden, she knew she was going to get sick. “Blaine, I really hate to ask this of you, but I really need to use your bathroom, or else I will get sick all over your floor.” She said, actually giving him an apologetic look.
That got a small mostly honest smile from him. “Of course you can. second door on the left. I’ll bring you a guest toothbrush and a ginger soda in a minute.”
Olivia thanked him and took off. She found the bathroom and just made it to the toilet. She let loose and threw up. After a minute, she felt a little better. She sat back on her haunches, and then leaned against the wall. She sighed and felt her head. She didn’t seem to have a fever, what the hell was going on? All she knew was she wanted Noah, and she didn’t want to call him while she was here. She closed her eyes for a minute as she waited to see if she was going to get sick again.
Blaine let her have her time alone. He sighed, rubbing at his forehead to banish the headache. So first Puck has a big gay freak out about cheating and blames it all on some imaginary power from the man he’s been hitting... now he told his girlfriend he was raped and she was pounding down his door. He sighed, getting a ginger soda from the fridge before taking a towel and a sealed toothbrush to the guest bathroom. “How are we doing in there?”
Olivia looked up as Blaine came in, and didn’t see any reason not to be honest. She sighed. “A little better, but I have to be honest, I just want Noah. I don’t feel good, my stomach’s all in knots.” She said, as she sat up a little, to take the things from him. “I don’t know why you’re being so nice to me, I wasn’t kidding, I really did come over here to kick your ass.” She said, grimacing as her stomach lurched again, but she didn’t feel like she was going to get sick again.
“So you’ve told me, many times. It doesn’t stop me from being a gentleman. And since you’ve ceased attempting to hit me I don’t see any reason to be a dick.” He rolled his shoulders, seeing her through the reflection in the mirror over the sink. “Do you need me to call a cab?”
“No, I think in just a few minutes I might be OK to drive. I don’t want to leave my truck here in your way.” She said, it went without saying that while she had the money to pay for a tow truck, she didn’t really want to, not to mention, she didn’t want to leave it here, either. “And no offense, but I don’t want to leave it here if I don’t have to, my truck’s my baby. But I appreciate you offering.” She said, opening the soda and taking a drink.
“Take your time. If you need a cab there’s a phone on the wall in the kitchen. I don’t think you’ll blame me for letting you let yourself out. I’m a bit tired from our talk.” He nodded to her, turning to leave her be. There was only one place his feet would take him, his studio.
After a few minutes, Olivia felt like she could be alright to drive home, so she got up, brushed her teeth, and took the empty soda container to throw away. She held the toothbrush in her hand, and walked out of the bathroom. She walked down the hall, hearing music. She went to follow it, it sounded so beautiful. She reached a room that must be Blaine’s studio. She stood by the door, listening.
Strange maze, what is this place?
(I hear voices over my shoulder)
Nothing's making sense at all.
Wonder, why do we race?
(When everyday we're runnin' in circles)
Such a funny way to fall.
Blaine’s voice was backed by his guitar, the song a sad, painful melody, pulling the pain straight from his soul. His eyes were closed, his mouth open, singing each word as his mind raced into the past. He should have never let Puck come over, never should have given him the chance.
Tried to open up my eyes,
I'm hopin' for a chance to make it alright.
When I wake up,
the dream isn't done.
I wanna see your face
and know I made it home.
If nothing is true,
What more can I do?
I am still painting flowers for you.
Blaine had tried, he’d been scared but he had tried! He never wanted Puck to fall in love, to come out, to risk everything for him. He would have been happy with one-night stands, with secret touches. Even... he could have fallen for Puck, in stolen moments under the radar, in hidden kisses. His heart was scarred, torn in a million pieces. He couldn’t have leapt. But that date, that one fun, amusing night when Blaine was more his true self then he had been in years.
When I wake up,
the dream isn't done.
I wanna see your face
and know I made it home.
If nothing is true,
What more can I do?
I am still painting flowers for you;
Even after Puck came, after he got violent AGAIN, after they fell frantically into eachother’s arms... He was nice to Olivia. She got hurt and she shouldn’t have been. Blaine didn’t enjoy playing games when he didn’t know the rules. He didn’t enjoy making people pawns with no point. A sweet girl was hurt and still he was sweeping up the pieces, his mask of a smile still on, perfect dapper Blaine still keeping up appearances. He was still holding together....even after he was left alone with all of the blame.
I am still painting flowers for you.
Olivia thought it sounded beautiful, and she wondered what he was going through. She said, “That was so hauntingly beautiful, Blaine.” Here she was, feeling sorry for him again, after what he had done to Noah. She didn’t know how that kept happening. She entered the room, wondering if he would talk to her about it. “Blaine, do you want to talk about whatever’s bothering you?” She asked.
Blaine blinked rapidly, keeping in the tears he’d nearly shed while he sang. He flicked a switch and the red recording light turned off. He swiveled in the chair, a bitter little smile on his lips. “It’s not the kind of song glee’s used to from me. I’ve always found it easier to express myself through music.” He shook his head at the offer. “Would you want to hear if I told you it was about Puck?”
She could honestly say she didn’t, but maybe it would help her understand what had happened better. “Actually, I don’t, but maybe it would help me to better understand what happened. We have to do things we don’t want to sometimes. And you owe me the truth.” She said, giving him a knowing look. “I already promised I won’t yell until you’re finished. I’ll even do my best to keep a sarcastic look off my face.” She finished.
“How magnanimous. ” So what if a little sarcasm slipped in. He wasn’t perfect. “Where do I start.... Ah... probably the fire at homecoming. I never thought he’d ask me. Not Puck, ladies man, badboy of the school... Not after falling into bed together once. But he did.” Blaine smiled softly, his begrudging affection for Puck obvious.
“You remember I told you I was bullied... beaten at my old school? Well that occurred at the first dance I ever went to. The first one I was out and I went as a date with another out boy in my school. I still have scars from it. Can you imagine my panic at a dance at a school that was so terrible that Kurt, who has more courage then anyone, ran from? I was petrified.” He sighed rubbing his eyes. “I thought I could handle it. No need to tell him I was weak and afraid of a little dance right?”
“He tried to get me to dance, told me to forget them, to just enjoy being with him. I couldn’t. All I could see was the old bullies, all I could feel was their hands on me and their strength pinning me.... So I lashed out. I used everything I knew to hurt Puck so he would leave me alone, I wanted nothing more then to find some safe place to run away to and hide in.” He took a breath, pressed away a tear that broke free.
“And he left, as he should have. He left, angry... and I got what I wanted... solitude so no one could hurt me. Except he still.... It still hurts. Every time I see him make those eyes at you, that little smile... It hurts to know my fear and my mouth took that away. So I’ve been trying to get away from the feelings. And right when I think that maybe I’m ove him...can you guess who tailed me home?”
“Yeah. Tailed me home, shoved me in my door and punched me hard before I even knew why he was here. I never put up those flyers. Naturally he wouldn’t believe it after our bitter little petty fight on the journal. So the man I was still hung up on hit me... with my history of having been....” Blaine stopped, taking a slow deep breath to steady himself.
“I tried to do the only defense I have against him. If I could get his passion to be anything by anger I might avoid a beating from a man I could have loved. So It did. If I have power then I don’t know it. I can’t control anything if I do. All I know is the passion he’s known for was suddenly on me and he wasn’t hurting me. We touched, he was,,, he was in me and when he finished and before I finished he was screaming again. He accused me of making him have sex, of making him date me, of making our entire relationship happen. And then he left.” Blaine licked his lips, his shoulders squared. “I don’t really want or need your opinion on it. I don’t need you to believe a word, but that’s why I sang that song, an that’s why I feel this way.”
She didn’t know what to think. She did know she believed him. She believed he had hurt Noah, but she didn’t think he meant to do it. She believed it was his power acting on its own. She folded her arms. “I am sorry that you feel this way, but Noah is allowed to move on. I don’t want to hurt you further, but he does love me. I hate to see anyone in pain like that, I really do, but..” Olivia broke off as tears filled her eyes. She had known hearing what had happened would be hard on her. She took a deep breath before she continued. “I am not going to just give him up because you still have feelings for him. And I can’t be anyone but myself in my relationship. It’s progressed enough that I don’t want to go back to what it was.”
“Stop.” He held up his hand at her beginning to talk again. “Olivia I wasn’t trying to take him. I wasn’t trying to make you give him up. I let him move on. I didn’t say a word to him. Other then leaving when you two were being couply I didn’t interfere. Back off the you versus I act. He’s yours. Still is, has been. Just... go. Go you him. You had a nice screaming match at me. And you heard me side. Just go before this gets catty and unnecessary.”
“I really wish that things were different for you, Blaine. I would never wish for Noah to break up with me, or for me to break up with him, but I feel sorry for you. You had him, and you clearly knew what you had and didn’t know how to have it. I didn’t mean to sound like I was accusing you of anything. I would feel the same way you do now if I lost him now. I know that’s not want you want to hear.” She stopped talking, and then said, “I’ll go, thanks for not being a dick when I got sick.”
Blaine stood, motioning for her to stand so he could walk her out to the door. “Take care of yourself. And take care of him.” He opened the door for her.
“I’m planning on it.” She didn’t feel the need to mention that it was a given, and she had so much work to do in taking care of him after Blaine had hurt him. “I owe him that much after all he’s done for me.” She cried when she got out to her truck, and just stood there for a minute, the tears coursing down her face. She leaned her head against the window of her driver’s side door for at least five minutes before she got in and drove away.
In a vague sort of way Blaine realized he was out of tequila, and vodka.... looked like he was sleeping with the Captain tonight and hoping he would erase all the memories of what that had brought up. One long weekend of drowning his troubles undone. He sang softly as the fourth shot went down. I am still painting flowers for you.