Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Company belong to JK Rowling. No money was made writing this fiction.
Summary: Set in late Winter of 2002 Severus Snape returns early to London and finds an unexpected something. A something that turns out to be more than even the esteemed Potions Master can handle alone.
Warnings: Violence, Mentions of Rape, Self Harm, Mutilation, Abuse, Language
Author's Notes: Kleenex Warning This is a hard one to read, more so we think because it happens in a modern day time period and 'Home Correction' is no longer accepted as a thing of the norm.
The Hand That Feeds
Cold. It was so cold, the young man whimpered to himself as he prayed to any deity that might be listening to please just let him go to sleep and not wake up. But just like every other time he'd made the same prayer, no one was listening. The tears had frozen on his pale cheeks not long after his Master had tossed him out of the car. He had rolled across the pavement and landed next to a dumpster, and now he was huddled against it trying to shield himself from the biting wind. He forced his eyes to open and noticed that fewer people were going down the side walk now, no one would hear his cries; if he'd cried out, but he'd learned well to stay silent.
Dull green eyes took in the soft glow of what might be a lamp in a window several stories above him, but without his glasses, he couldn't tell anything from a distance of more than two feet. He'd not seen properly in almost two years. He shifted on his dead, bare feet and shrieked out in pain as the movement jostled his arm. He knew it was broken. Master had told him he was doing it as he'd heard it snap. His throat was raw from Master's hands being around his neck. The young man curled in on himself once more and simply waited to die, he had been thrown away like rubbish.
Severus Snape stepped out of the doors to Chain Gang and the wind whipped around his trench coat flaring it behind him exposing his body to the elements before he had a chance to close the flaps. The chill wind felt good for a moment on his heated skin but quickly froze the sweat making him shiver. He went down the steps to the street proper and began walking the short distance back to his hotel room. His mind turned to other things as he walked. Damon and Grant would be having hot cider about now waiting on Max to show up with Allie so they could exchange presents. The other couple had spent the holiday with Max's parents and had missed out on Sev being there but he had left his gifts. He hated to cut his hols short but things needed seeing to before he returned for spring term.
Mentally Severus counted down the months and then the years until he could retire back in the little town he had come to love and think of as home. A whimper brought him out of his ruminations. He looked down a dark arterial and saw a bundle of something shiver. 'Surely that wasn't an actual person.' he thought as he looked around and then drew his wand. He edged closer to the pile and stuck his foot out and booted it lightly.
The young man was nearly unconscious when a booted foot nudged him from the warm peace he'd been floating in, blissfully unaware of the snow and cold. Was it Master? Did Master come back to get his thing? His body, nearly frozen was hard pressed, but the young man raised his good arm up and attempted to raise the broken one as far as he could, his palms up, posture showing supplication to his Master. His eyelids were frozen shut, he couldn't see Master, but he tried to lift his broken face to show him how repentant he was.
Severus gasped. What in Merlin's name was this street rat doing out like this? He watched as the dirty thing struggled to sit up and then staggered away when it assumed a well know position to him. It's arm hung crookedly at its side. The creature was so dirty and he couldn't tell if it was male or female. "What are you doing in the elements?" He sneered. "Surely you could have dragged your sorry arse to the nearest shelter, instead of cluttering up the street."
The young man heard the voice that belonged to the boot. It wasn't Master, nor was it kind. He brought his good arm down and slowly tucked his broken arm in like a damaged wing. He tried to curl up tighter; his once wet ragged and filthy tee shirt was now frozen to his body, his filthy y-fronts frozen to him with wet, blood, and filth. He laid his cheek on his knee and waited once more for the warmth to come back.
"Answer me." Severus hissed. He looked around and lit his wand to get a better look at the urchin. He nudged it with his boot again. "Speak before I call an officer to come and deal with you so I may wash my hands of your filth."
"Master threw it out with the rubbish. It's to stay here until the dustmen collect the rubbish in the morning," he croaked through swollen and cracked lips, his throat rough and bruised. He moved slightly so he wouldn't soil the Man's boot with his filth.
Severus narrowed his eyes. He leaned forward and held his breath as the smell from the gutter rat filled his nose. "Indeed. I really should call the police to pick you up. It's the holidays and there will be no dustmen til Monday." He shoved the bundle over with his boot and then stood.
The young man fell stiffly onto his injured arm and whimpered quietly. He didn't understand why this Man was speaking to him. He lie on his side, his knees tucked up and now his chafed backside was exposed to the wind. The young man was so far gone, he didn't notice the snow and slush he lay in, his body so cold he'd stopped shivering.
Severus froze when the figure toppled over and stopped moving. "Bloody hell. What a time to get morals, Severus." He mumbled. He looked around the street and levitated the being in the alley to the street lamp so it could be found. The creature didn't look any better in the weak yellow light but it might provide some warmth to the sad sap.
The young man felt himself being moved and rubbed at his face with his good hand. No, no, no, he was to stay with the rubbish. Weakly, he scrabbled to his good hand and knees and began the slow crawl through the broken glass and other rubbish hidden under the snow to get back where he'd been told to stay. "It's rubbish, it's rubbish, it's rubbish..." He mumbled to himself as a mantra as he slid and landed on his face in a puddle of slush. He was shivering again and his body jerked in muscle spasms as he began to crawl forward again, oblivious of the Man.
"Fecking hell." Severus hissed. "Stay in the light you wretched creature and someone will find you." He flicked his wand and dragged the body back to the lamplight's shadow. It landed on its back face up. Severus groaned and leaned down to wipe away the black sludge, so someone would recognize it. He jerked his hand away after he brushed away the ice and mud. "Oh Merlin, no. It can't be." He took a deep breath and looked around the street. "Scourgify!" He bent close again and gasped. "Mother of Merlin. It's Harry fucking Potter." He murmured and looked around the street.
A low moan escaped its lips and the young man realized he was back where he'd started under the street lamp. Why was the Man doing this to him? He flinched in a delayed response to the hand on his face and whimpered when he felt the buzz of magic over his skin. No, no, no, Master says no magic for an animal. Magic brings punishment. The young man painfully rolled to his knees again and began his trek once more.
Severus gawked at the Boy Who Lived as he crawled along the frozen street. He couldn't believe the tenacity then again this was Harry Potter. He looked around the street again and raised his wand once more. "Can't have you disappearing on me again, boy." He aimed at Harry's posterior. "Scourgify!" He bent and still the smell assaulted his sensitive nasal passages. "Cor, you are getting a bath when we get to my room."
He swung Potter up into his arms but held him at a distance so as to not soil himself as well. "If you ruin my pants I'll throw you out myself." He muttered as he walked down the street back to his hotel, glancing around to make sure no one saw him pick up the boy.
The tingle of magic washed over the young man's body and he stilled where he knelt in the slush. He felt hands picking him up none too gently and he cracked his eyelids to try to find out what was happening. He squinted up in the darkness at the Man that was now carrying him. Maybe another Master wanted him, but he said he would put him in the rubbish as well. The emaciated young man shook with cold as his consciousness became more aware of his surroundings. Gone was the false lure of warmth exposure had given him. "It promises to be good," he mumbled as the Man's displeasure hit him with a nearly palpable slap to his face. He would be as good as he could for this Master.
Severus was never more grateful for the bit of wandless magic that he could work. It wasn't much and it took a lot out of him but in times like this it came in handy. He wiggled his fingers at the door and stepped over the threshold. He kicked the door shut behind him and went straight away to the loo. He laid Harry in the tub and turned on the water, making certain that it was warm enough to be of use but not scalding. He flipped it over to the shower and the water cascaded over the boy washing away slush and ice. "Strip off those nasty clothes and wash yourself."
The young man laid there for several minutes shaking as the hot water poured over him. The heat bringing the sensation back to his tortured body and he began to keen softly as all of the injuries inflicted on him in the past twenty four hours began to make themselves known.
He worked his shirt off, trying not to aggravate his arm any more than it absolutely had to be. His y fronts were pushed down next and he took advantage of the water to try to wash his meager clothing as best he could, it was the best he had. He turned his attention to himself and began to scratch at the dirt that was caked onto his skin; there was no bottle of animal soap there for him as had been at Master's.
Severus watched with a detached eye. He realized Harry's arm was broken. "Be still." He waved his wand and set the arm. "Use the soap and the flannel, you need it." He set the bar and the cloth on the side of the tub. "Watch your arm I have only binded it to your side because I have nothing here to mend it yet." He flicked his wand at the soiled and torn clothing and levitated them to the bin. "Where are your glasses?"
The Man was speaking to him. He tried to focus on the words and decide the most appropriate way to answer. "They are gone Master, it doesn't need to see for what it does," he said quietly as he hesitantly reached for the flannel. He waited for the first blows as his hand hovered over the flannel, when none came he wet the cloth and rubbed it over the bar of soap carefully, taking no more than what he deserved. He began to scrub at himself, trying to be presentable when he discovered his clothing was no longer in the tub with him. He hung his head and realized he'd lost privileges again.
The water quickly became black with grime and he still had not finished washing. The boy knew his hole was bleeding again from when he'd pulled away his smalls. That had to be clean for the Man.
Severus took the flannel from Harry. "Use more soap we have to get you clean so I might see what all has to be healed." He lathered it up well and handed it back. It was then he noticed the black water flowing down the drain turning pick and then red. "Bloody hell! What the fuck have you been doing, Potter?"
He strode into his room and began to rummage through his bags for potions. He wasn't certain what he had left since he had just delivered a large batch to Grant to send out to the res. He shook his head, not one healing or pain potion. He would have to do it the Muggle way and his first aid skills were virtually non-existent that way.
Severus picked up the phone and called room service. "I need a first aid kit and a night shirt and undergarments size medium as soon as possible. Attach it to my tab." He listened for a moment. "No, I am fine. I just stubbed my toe. If you would do as I asked then I would need nothing further. Just knock and leave it outside the door." He hung up the receiver and went back in to the loo. "Well, Potter have you finished yet?"
He had managed to get to his knees in the bottom of the tub and waited with his back straight and his head lowered. His knees were spread and his hands framing the small bit he could offer his new Master. He paid no heed to how his body appeared, bruises and scars had stopped meaning anything to him long ago; they were just ways his Master let others know he had to be disciplined often. Not realizing the Man was in the doorway; he'd brought his good hand a few inches from his face and was inspecting the pinkened skin. He was cleaner than he'd been in months. He dropped his hand back to his thigh and bent down to peer at the tub's surface. He'd soiled it. Frantic, he picked up the flannel and began to scrub at the white surface.
Severus gasped at the pink skin from the hot water and scrubbing. Scars, old silvery ones and newer lighter red ones, crisscrossed the boy's chest and back. His arms and legs were blackened still but not from the dirt. Bruises in all stages from the blackest black to the ugly yellow and purple mottled the rest of Harry's skin. The boy bent and was cleaning the tub now and all Severus could do was stare. He hadn't seen anyone look as Harry had in many years.
Severus gave a whole body shiver and closed his eyes against the sight, yet it was burned on to his retinas. "Bloody fecking hell." He ran a hand over his face and rubbed it. "Potter, stop that. Are you clean now?"
Immediately he dropped the flannel and resumed his position and waited for instructions.
Severus shook his head. 'Why couldn't the boy have minded that well when he was in school.' He bent closer and ran his eyes over the small man. "Well, you smell better at least. Get out and dry yourself." A knock at the door had him turning. He looked back at Potter. "Watch the arm while you towel off. I'll be right back and we'll see what we can fix."
The boy did as he had been told and was waiting once more on his knees for the return of the Man. He squinted and looked around himself at the spotless bathroom. He felt out of place and conspicuous amongst all the clean. He watched the door and as soon as the Man's feet appeared in his vision, he bent forward to kiss the toe of each boot and was astonished when he wasn't kicked in the face for his boldness. "You are a good Master?" he whispered quietly, almost to himself as he rose back to his kneeling position.
Severus sputtered and nearly dropped the parcels he was holding. "Potter, what are you doing? Get up out of the floor." The boy's word sank in and he shook his head. "Oh Merlin no." Damon and Grant had warned him about people like this but he had never thought he would actually find Harry Potter in this position. "Potter, do you know who I am?" He reached down and pulled the young man to his feet.
The young man felt himself being lifted to his feet and he began to whimper. He'd done wrong again. "You are Master, you are Master,” he mumbled over and over as his knees shook and folded underneath him. Once more on the floor he began to hit at his injured arm with his good hand to punish himself so the Man would not have to soil his hands with his filth. "It's bad, it's sorry, it will be better," he moaned, twisting his arm to inflict more pain. He bent forward and retched, nothing but thin watery bile passing his cracked lips.
"Damn!" Severus jumped out of the way as Potter when down again. "Stop it, stop it. Don't make me stun you." He fumbled for his wand when the boy retched. "Oh Merlin, What in Salazar's name is wrong with you?"
Severus gave the boy no choice. "Stupefy!" He moved the boy out of the sick and sat on the toilet. 'What in hell was he going to do?' It was too late to call Damon and Grant and there was no way he was taking the Boy Who Lived into St. Mungo's in this shape. He'd be whisked away to Azkaban no questions asked. He sighed and vanished the vomit then revived Potter. "Don't make me stun you again and quit injuring yourself, I have enough to do already."
He picked up Potter again and placed him back in the tub once more turning on the water to wash away the new stench of sick.
"I am not your, Master." He eyed the boy. "It's Snape, Potter. The greasy bastard extraordinaire. Professor Snape." He waited for a reaction.
He looked down as he heard the words. Not Master. He was still rubbish. No one wanted him. He didn't understand who Potter was or why he'd been taken from where Master had left him. Maybe it was one of Master's games? That had to be it; Master found it funny to send him to different people to be used and then return broken. He nervously licked his lips and leaned towards where the Man was standing and pressed his lips to the metal zip of his trousers. He knew how to give his body up for use. Maybe this Man wouldn't hurt him too badly; he'd been given a bath after all.
"Ah! Don't do that!" Severus stood. "What in Merlin's name is wrong with you!?"
The young man fell forward over the edge of the tub as the Man stepped back quickly. He slowly raised himself back up and looked back down at the water. "This thing is sorry, it thought it should show how it appreciates warm water for its bath," he said softly. "Does Master wish to hurt it instead? Or watch it do what you say?" He waited and his hands nervously pinched and twisted his flesh for want of something to do.
Severus reached into the bath and grabbed Harry's hands. "Don't... please... don't hurt your self any longer." He met the faded green eyes. "Potter... Harry are you in there?"
The young man focused his eyes on a point over the Man's shoulder; he felt his hands held in larger, rougher ones. "You will hurt it, then?" Why did he keep calling him Harry? The boy thought he might have been Harry once, but no more.
Severus sighed. "Harry, look at me. I am not going to hurt you. Promise me you won't hurt yourself while I get the first aid kit and my wand." He grabbed the young man's face. Blank. His eyes, the beautiful brilliant defiant eyes that had tormented him for seven years, were blank as a sheet of parchment.
His hands stilled at the Man's word and he let himself drift in his mind. He was in a room with other young people, people that were nice to him, people that let him wear clothes...he was lost in his happy place when the rough hands grabbed him again. His whole body flinched and a plea for mercy was on his lips before he could stop it. "Please...it will be good.."
Severus gently lifted Harry from the tub. 'When had the brat become Harry?' He wrapped a towel around the emaciated body then lifted him to his lap. He carefully dried the boy as if he were a child. "I know, Harry. You are a very good boy."
The short reprieve to get his wand and such allowed him to get his bearings again and he treated the boy like any other sub hoping to snap him out of this fug. "Now I want you to be still and let me treat you." He opened the towel and ran his wand over the cuts and abrasions on Harry's knees and palms.
The boy didn't move once he was placed on the Man's lap, he smiled to himself as heard the words 'good boy' and waited until the Man was done making his skin tingle before he opened his mouth again. "Where does Master wish this thing to stay?" When the Man didn't answer, he tried again. "Where is the box for it to sleep in, Master?" he asked softly. He knew to stay out of the way of others unless they had a use for him.
He began to shiver again, this time not from cold, but from a fever that was beginning, his faded green eyes starting to tear and matter shut as he blinked repeatedly in the bright light of the bathroom. So bright it hurt him, he was used to the dark, where he belonged.
"Shh. Harry we'll find a place for you." Severus continued to heal the little hurts and then moved to check Harry's forehead and cheeks. "Cor, you are burning up, Harry." He cast a warming charm in the loo and grabbed for the paracetamol out of the kit. He reached across Harry and ran some cool water in a plastic cup. "Here Harry I want you to try and take this for me.
He tipped the cup to Harry's mouth and waited for him to drink.
The young man swallowed obediently and winced as the pills went down his swollen throat. "It did it Master," he whispered and closed his eyes only to open them again as he remembered what the Man had said about ruining his trousers. He could feel something hot and wet between his arse cheeks and knew he was soiling the towel and the leg he was sitting on.
He slid off of the Man's leg and huddled on the floor between his feet. He couldn't even keep from messing this one good thing up, his Master had been right to throw him away. "It's sorry Master, it will go back to the bin where it belongs." He tried to remember how to get out of the rooms and chewed his fingers as he was thinking.
Severus stared at Harry. He looked down at the towel and saw the bright red blood there and nearly screamed in frustration. He knew that there shouldn't be that much blood coming from there and when he looked at Harry he saw it pooling under the boy. "Blimey, Harry what happened to you?"
He didn't know how to stop this or how to fix this. The boy might be damaged on the inside and he didn't know what to do. "Harry, quit chewing on your fingers. You are not rubbish." Severus picked him up again and settled him back on the towel after folding it to make it a thicker pad. "What am I going to do with you?"
He turned blank eyes to the Man and whispered, "You can use its hole Master, and its slick now. It promises not to cry." "Oh, Harry no. We have got to get you healed." Severus continued to work on Harry methodically. He bit his lip as he watched Harry's blank eyes. "Dammit all." He muttered.
"What do you want for it to do, Master?" he asked, not wanting to hear frustration in the man's voice.
Severus lifted Harry pressing the towel to his bum. He carried him into the bedroom and laid him out on the bed. "Don't move. I am in over my head and still sinking fast." He tapped his chin as he though and then he picked up the phone receiver. He punched out the numbers and waited until a gruff voice answered.
"Felix, Snape. I have a ... problem. No, I didn't cause it but it found me anyway can you help?" Severus listened for a minute then nodded. "I'll be there in a mo then."
Severus went back into the loo and got another towel. He wrapped it around the first towel like a nappy and then dressed Harry in the nightshirt he had sent up. He took the blanket from the bed and wrapped those around Harry as well. He picked up the bundle and cast and obscuring charm over the both of them.
"Come on Harry we are taking a trip. Now be very quiet and we'll get you tidied up."
The young man's eyes were closed and he was warm, it was okay if the Man was going to put him back if maybe he could have a blanket. He nodded his head at the Man's words, he could be quiet. He felt the tingle of magic kiss his skin again, but this time he wasn't frightened by it, instead it was almost welcoming.
Severus Apparated them to the alley just across the street from a Muggle town house. He dispelled the charm and checked the street before hurrying across to the front door. He shifted Harry and knocked a pattern on the door.
A slender young man opened the door wearing a pair of pyjama bottoms and a smile; he beckoned them in and offered to take Harry from Severus. "Good evening Sir, Master Felix is in his den. Would you like me to take your...charge in to him now?" Stephan asked as he bowed his head to Severus.
Severus shook his head. "No Stephan, good on you for asking but I'll hold on to him, just lead the way." He followed the young man down the corridor. "I am sorry to bother your Master this late."
"It is of no worry Sir, Master and I were having tea while watching telly," he answered as he opened the door leading into a well appointed den that also served as a small office for the physician.
An older man looked up from his desk and motioned Severus in and pointed at a sheet draped leather sofa. "Lay your boy there Severus, my friend. Then tell me what is going on."
Severus waited until Stephan left before speaking. Then laid Harry down on the sofa. "I found him on the street and bathed him. I... I know him. He was once my student and I can't let him..." He shook his head. "Felix this is a bad ... I have never seen anything like this before." He carefully began to unwrap Harry. "I need you to help. To tell me how to take care of him."
The young man cracked his eyes open and realized another Man was with the first Man. He felt himself being unwrapped and understood. He turned his face to the side and lifted his knees and let his thighs fall open for their use. He stayed silent and forced his arms down to his side, wincing at the pain from the broken one.
Felix sucked in his breath at the sight of the boy, he'd swear he'd seen him once before months ago, but he'd not been this bad off. He had Severus lift the boy's knees to his chest so he could look at him and shook his head. The young man looked as if someone had raped him with a softball bat.
"Do you know how long he's been like this?" he asked as he began to wipe the blood away. He could tell there was a need for stitches at least.
Severus shook his head and tried to remain clinical about the way Harry was spread out on the sofa. "I just found him about two maybe three hours ago. Why? Has he been here before?" He grabbed Felix's arm. "You can't tell anyone about this."
Felix looked down at the hand on his arm and didn't say a word. He kept wiping and called out to Stephan to bring him his bag and more towels. A few moments later he spoke again after his boy had brought what was asked.
"If he is the one I think he is, then yes, I've seen him before, but it was months ago. He's torn up fairly bad Severus, without putting him in hospital, I can't guarantee that he won't have bad scarring from this," the older man said as he carefully cleaned the area and looked at Severus again. "I have nothing here to numb him, you'll need to talk him through it and keep him still while I sew him up."
The young man felt the cold fluid on him and then pinching fingers as something felt like it was spearing him. He whimpered and tried to move away.
Severus nodded and grabbed Harry's head and held his hand on his good arm. "Shh, Harry listen to me. You have to be really still. Listen to my voice. Focus on me Harry." He bent closer to Harry's ear and began to recite the first thing that came to mind. Potions ingredients and recipes. "Aconite, monkshood and Wolfsbane are all the same. They are used in several potions..."
The young man fell still in the Man's arms, his eyes closed halfway and he began to mumble the ingredients along with the deep voice. He knew these things, they were his safe place, and nothing would hurt him in his safe place. The Voice was safe.
Felix finished stitching the large tears closed and did a thorough exam to make sure he wasn't torn badly inside before he looked at the young man's arm. "Harry, you said his name was? He was only referred to as slut or it when he was here before. I assume he is now in your care?" He looked up at Severus and then nodded at the boy. "I'm going to cast his arm now and then he'll be ready to go. He wasn't with his owner then?"
The young man looked up and whimpered. "Master threw it in the rubbish, said it wouldn't do anything right, said it was bad."
Severus got a pained look on his face. "Harry, you are not bad. I'll... I'll take care of you from now on." He brushed back the fringe and traced the scar. Severus looked at Felix. "No I found him outside in the alley way after leaving Chain Gang. His Master do you know him as well? Will he come looking for Harry?"
He looked down at Harry and then to Felix again. "He'll be alright then?"
Felix looked up at the tall man. "Physically, he'll heal; he needs to gain weight desperately. But Severus, the lad is broken, truly broken. I know of who kept him and there is a chance he'll come looking for him."
The young man stared at the ceiling, as he paid no attention to the words. The Man said he would take care of him.
The physician spoke once more. "Severus you might consider just dropping him at a casualty ward at a local hospital and let them put him in their psych ward, he'll never be alright again," he said softly as he looked at the battered body and the vacant eyes. He could only imagine the horrors that the young man had gone through. "Either way, you are finished here, so please take him and go." He stood and summoned his boy to show them out.
Severus looked down at Harry and then back at Felix. "I can't, he was our only hope." He turned to Felix and aimed his wand between the man's eyes. "I'm sorry Felix. Obliviate!"
He wrapped Harry back up and picked up the bundle. "Come on Harry, let's get you to bed; we both need a rest." He walked out of the house, without looking back and returned to his hotel room.
Once back in the warmth of the room, the young man knelt in the corner and tracked the new Master by sound. His stomach made a horrid noise and he froze, praying the Man had not heard, he brought his fingers to his mouth and began sucking on them to hopefully quiet his body.
Severus peered at the clock and then looked up as Harry's stomach growled. He chuckled. "Harry, get your fingers out of your mouth. Are you hungry?" He dug in the room refrigerator and came up with nothing really suitable for Harry to eat, but there was plenty to drink. He opened a small bottle of whiskey and downed it. "Would you like some soup, Harry? The room service can get its lazy arse out of bed for as much as I am paying for this room."
Severus chuckled again and looked down at Harry. "Harry, get out of the floor. Here I have some smalls for you would you like to put them on while I order. After we sleep we'll get you more clothes and glasses tomorrow. We can have Poppy charm them when we get back to Hogwarts. Albus will know what to do."