Fic: Stickwitu by Lizz --30stm Shannon/Tim
Title: Stickwitu Fandom(s): 30 seconds to mars Pairing(s): Shannon/Tim Rating: NC-17 Disclaimer: not true, didn’t happen. Don’t know/own them.. Warning(s): slash, alcohol abuse, language
Notes: written for Sticks and Strings. Yes I know the title is a Pussycat Dolls song. There was a pretty metaphor about glue somewhere in that thought but ehm…I messed it up a bit.
Beta: Kleemoon, thank you honJ
Word-count: 7.200 Prompt: Cold Gin by Death Angel (Kiss Cover)
Whoo, alright Mu heaters broke and I'm so tired I need some fuel to build a fire The girl next door, her lights are out, yeah The landlords gone, I'm down and out Ooh, its cold gin time again You know it'll always win Cold gin time again You know its the only thing That keeps us together, ow
Its time to leave and get another quart Around the corner at the liquor store Haha, the cheapest stuff is all I need To get me back on my feet again
Ooh, its cold gin time again You know it’ll always win Its cold gin time again You know its the only thing That keeps us together, ow
Whoa yeah Ooh, its cold gin time again You know it'll always win Its cold gin time again You know its the only thing That keeps us together, ow
Shannon slammed the door to his apartment behind him, stomped through the dim hallway then before doing anything else, checked the coats and sweatshirts hanging from neat hooks on the wall to his left. His eyes landed on the dark blue hoodie hanging next to one of his own jackets and he felt the tension in his shoulders ease a little as he nodded to himself. Good. Tim was still there. Not that he’d really expected Tim to be gone but one could never know for sure. Shivering slightly from the rain outside he hung his damp leather jacket on one of the hooks and tried to shake the raindrops from his hair.
The low murmur of a TV show drifted towards him from the living room so he kicked off his muddy shoes and rounded the corner to find the object of his thoughts. Tim Kelleher, lazily stretched out on Shannon’s couch in just his grey sweatpants. Shannon’s eyes darted to the TV briefly and he saw Tim was watching some sitcom.
He knew Tim had heard him come in; he saw it in the way his fingers clenched briefly around the remote control in his left hand, but he didn’t look up. Didn’t acknowledge Shannon leaning against the doorway, watching him.
Fucking fine, he could ignore him all he wanted. Two can play at that game. He felt a twinge of hunger in his stomach and realized he hadn’t eaten since lunch, which was over nine hours ago. He walked around the narrow bar separating the kitchen from the living room and seeing no traces of dinner, opened the fridge and narrowed his eyes. Nothing edible there. A few slices of cheese that were turning a cotton-y white, a carton of orange juice and a rotting apple. Shannon threw the door closed with a loud clunk.
He tried to take a second to think before acting. Tried to keep the anger burning through him from pouring out of him by reminding himself it was just groceries. Not worth getting worked up over some fucking groceries. Maybe Tim had been busy. Yeah right, that’s why he was lounging on the couch. Maybe he’d forgotten. Fuck that, he’d called Tim and asked him to pick something up on his way home.
He hadn’t even realized he was rubbing his fingers together in a vain attempt to calm himself down until they became uncomfortably hot. Should he let it slide? He could practically hear his brother’s voice in his head, telling him to not let the little things get to him so much but that was easier said than done. It wasn’t a little thing anymore if it were lots of little things cumulating into one big thing and it pissed him the fuck off.
Because it wasn’t just the groceries. It was the fight they had had earlier today over the best way to fry chicken nuggets. Fry fucking chicken nuggets for fuck’s sake, but that’s just what started it. It ended with Tim calling him a pathetic control freak and Shannon calling Tim a waste of space. Then there was the fact that Tim had cleaned out their medicine cabinet, throwing out everything that had expired, and some other clutter. Like Shannon’s aftershave. So yeah, not quite little things anymore.
Rational thinking lost the battle like he’d expected and he walked up to the couch in a few long strides, pausing and standing right in front of Tim, effectively blocking the other man’s view of the TV.
Tim’s jaw clenched and he glanced up at Shannon, obvious annoyance showing in those blue eyes he had once loved to look into so much. Now they had become yet another source of Shannon’s ever-growing irritation.
“The fuck d’you want?” Tim stared in the direction of the TV again defiantly, thereby coming face to face with Shannon’s mid-section.
“I told you to pick up some food.”
“Oh, you told me to, huh?”
“Yes, I fucking told you to get us some groceries and now I come home and find your lazy ass watching TV.” He could hear his own voice tremble slightly with barely controlled anger.
“I’m not your fucking wife, Shannon,” Tim sneered, finally meeting Shannon’s eyes. “You want a hot meal on your table and your slippers set ready while I sway over to you in a too-tight dress to hand you a cold beer, you picked the wrong guy.”
“No shit,” Shannon huffed, glaring back at Tim, unwilling to look away from those angry eyes.
“Yeah, no shit.” Tim got up and walked to the door leading to their bedroom. “You best order some take out if you’re hungry,” he called over his shoulder. “The kitchen staff has retired for the night.” With that, he slammed the door and left Shannon standing there like a fool; all the things he had wanted to say to Tim now stuck in his head.
“Yeah, well fuck you!” Screaming at a closed door, how childish. It made him feel a bit better though. Made him wish he could kick the door too but that would probably not be such a great idea. That door had proven to be not exactly made of steel on prior…occasions.
He sat down on the couch and stared at the TV. When the fuck had everything gone wrong? He remembered how happy they both were when they first got together. They’d had the whole ‘fuck the world’ attitude going on and they’d needed it too. So many people had been against the two of them being together, everyone had warned them it would never work out. They were in a band together, and, to Jared, that was enough reason they should just not even go there. Plus they were too different and their age difference was too big.
He remembered how he had cocked an eyebrow at that final argument of Jared. Age difference, little brother? Don’t fucking get me started on age differences.
Sadly, everyone who had warned them, had turned out to be at least partially right. Shannon knew he was too controlling, too demanding and frankly too fucking dominating. That may work with a girl, but with Tim, an equally stubborn, proud, and never-budging man, it had an adverse affect. They had become like two boxers in a ring, constantly circling each other, one lashing out, the other retaliating even harsher until the lines and rules of what was acceptable and what was not blurred into nothing.
He knew he had an uncanny talent to hurt Tim’s feelings. He knew how much it pissed Tim off when he acted all-knowing because he was about a decade older than Tim. He knew how it made Tim extra sensitive to any remark that could be construed as an order. He knew just where to hit him so that it’d hurt. Not physically of course, but he’d found out the hard way that words really could hurt more than fists. Because one thing was certain: Timothy Kelleher gave as good as he got.
So why did he stay? Why did he stay when everyone around him told him it was a losing battle? With every day that passed, they were only starting to hate each other more and more. Was it really hate? Such a big word, he was reluctant to use it; couldn’t believe he would ever come to using ‘Tim’ and ‘hate’ in the same sentence. He rubbed a hand over his face, trying to stop the headache he felt approaching from hitting him full force.
Sometimes he thought maybe he shouldn’t have tried so hard to get Tim. Though, in his defence, Tim had been more than willing so it hadn’t taken much ‘conquering’. He didn’t know who fell for whom first but fall they did, and after a long night of bar-hopping they’d finally ended up against the back wall of one of the clubs, their bodies pressed tightly together, lips fused and fighting for dominance. Fighting for dominance even back then, like some mocking sample of what their relationship would ultimately turn into.
Maybe he should have left it at that; maybe he shouldn’t have taken Tim home and fucked him into the mattress and he was pretty sure he really should not have let Tim stay afterwards. There were rules about this, no doubt. Reasons not thought up by Jared who had a shifty point of reference anyway. He shouldn’t have but he did. Tim was literally the one night stand that did not leave; would not leave, and Shannon hadn’t minded all that much.
He spent hours staring blankly at the TV screen, trying to focus on the various reality shows and drama series but constantly finding his thoughts drift back to the man currently in his bed. When his vision became blurry from sleep he finally decided to give up on the TV and go to bed. Glancing to the side he saw that the door to their bedroom was still closed, with no sound coming from inside. Tim would probably be asleep already. Good, he wasn’t in the mood for more arguing, too tired.
He switched off the TV and the lonely reading lamp in the corner before walking to the door and listening. Nothing. He opened the door to a creak and peered inside. Light from outside threw long shadows across the room, across Tim’s relaxed and sleeping face. He was curled up on his side facing away from Shannon’s side of the bed, one arm under his pillow, the other gripping the sheets tightly.
Part of him wished he could crawl in next to Tim, wrap him in his arms and tease him awake with soft kisses to his neck. The skin there looked so soft and pale in the faint light and he wanted to taste it, run his tongue over it, bite it softly. He could have done just that not too long ago, but would he do it now, he’d probably get a knee to the groin for his efforts. And even though he hated to admit it, he was too proud to let go of his anger and admit to himself or to anyone else that he missed Tim.
They fed off of each other’s meanness it seemed, one never giving the other a break, always pushing and taunting and grating on nerves. It was not the first time Shannon realized that the only time Tim did not piss him off was when the other man was asleep.
He pulled of his shirt and pants, trying to make as little sound as possible. As he opened a drawer for a clean pair of boxers and a t-shirt his eyes caught pairs of thick, rolled-up Garfield socks lying neatly in a row inside the drawer. Tim’s. Tim always had cold feet and usually wandered around with at least two pairs of socks on. He couldn’t sleep with socks though, so he normally left them on in bed until his feet had warmed up a bit and then he’d kick them off before going to sleep.
He smiled to himself and traced a finger over the thick wool. He loved all of those little things that made Tim, Tim. Even though he tended to use them as an excuse to bitch about Tim now, he had to admit to himself he still loved it. Like how he sucked in his lower lip when he was thinking, or how he would sometimes whisper softly to himself in his sleep. He’d hate to miss seeing and hearing and just having all of those things around him if Tim ever decided to leave.
Sighing softly to himself he grabbed the boxers and tee, pulled them on and closed the drawer softly. He padded over to the bed, and hesitated for a second, hovering over Tim’s sleeping form before he shook his head, walked around the bed and climbed in on his own side. His last thought before sleep claimed him was how he missed Tim’s warmth against his own body.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
“Get up.” A strong hand shook his shoulder roughly, a loud voice breaking into the peacefulness of his sleeping mind.
“For fuck’s sake, Shannon, will you get the fuck up! Your brother and Tomo are coming over for breakfast and I’m not gonna listen to their nagging while you stay your lazy ass in bed!”
Brother. Tomo. Of course. He opened his eyes slowly, wincing at the bright light coming from the windows. Tim was moving around the room quickly, picking up clothes, piling up books and CD’s. He had a white towel wrapped snugly around his waist and his hair was still damp from a shower.
“The fuck you looking at, man? Move your ass.”
He met Tim’s eyes briefly, unconsciously hoping to see something there, but when he saw nothing but irritation he frowned. “Fuck you.”
“Not a chance, Leto.”
“Don’t fool yourself,” Shannon bit back, anticipating a snarky comment back but Tim just rolled his eyes and threw a towel and some clean underwear in his lap.
“They’ll be here in thirty minutes. You better make sure you’re dressed and ready then.”
“Or else?” Shannon mumbled under his breath, but Tim had already left the room.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
“Mornin’ Jared, mornin’ Tomo.” Shannon said, as he walked into the kitchen to find his brother and Tomo sitting at the table. Tim was standing over the furnace, shaking pans and frying stuff in short, brisk movements. Yeah, Shannon was not the only one in this household with a badly controlled temper.
“Mornin’,” Tomo nodded, taking slow sips from his coffee mug and flipping through the TV guide.
He saw how Jared narrowed his eyes at him, and how he pointedly looked at Tim.
Shannon shrugged and sat down. “How about some coffee, honey?” He asked in a sickly sweet voice, knowing exactly what kind of effect it would have on Tim. They never called each other anything sweet, never had either.
“You know where the coffee pot is, darling,” Tim drawled back at him without turning around.
Before he could say anything back, Jared stood up taking the coffee pot of the counter. “Will you two knock it off already?” He poured coffee in Shannon’s mug and sat back down.
“Thanks,” Shannon smiled sweetly at his brother. “Sugar.”
“So,” Tomo piped up, clearly uncomfortable at the tension hanging around them. “What do you say you and Tim go out with us tonight? You know, blow off some steam, let loose a bit.”
“No.” Shannon’s answer was short and gruff and it made Jared and Tomo stare at him, Tomo with his eyebrows raised in wonder, Jared with that knowing glare that told him he would get to be on the receiving end of yet another one of his brother’s lectures as soon as they were alone.
Tim threw the empty pot in the sink with a loud crash and turned around, smiling at Tomo. “Sounds like a great idea. Count us in.”
Tomo bit his lip and looked uncertainly from Tim to Shannon and back.
Shannon shook his head. “Forget about it.”
Plates were placed in front of Tomo and Jared, before Tim set Shannon’s plate down, pretty much throwing it in front of him. “Just who the fuck do you think you are to tell me I can’t go out tonight?”
Shannon met his stare but didn’t give in. Last time they’d gone out, they had fought for the first two hours straight, because they’d gotten lost on their way to this new club. Tim had claimed it was Shannon’s fault as he’d been driving, but Shannon said Tim had read him the instructions wrong. Jared had finally pulled Shannon apart, keeping them separated for the rest of the evening but he hadn’t failed to notice how Tim had then proceeded to hit on everyone that came within a three feet radius of him. Shannon had gone home alone that night, earlier than planned, lonelier than planned but he didn’t fucking care.
“Guys, stop it,” Jared said, his clear and determined voice calling them both to their senses.
Shannon gritted his teeth and nodded at Tim, mockingly. “Fine, let’s go out. See how many guys you can get to fuck you in one night.”
“You calling me a slut, Shan?” Tim sounded dangerously calm as he sat down beside Shannon and shook some salt over his eggs.
“If the shoe fits…”
He felt Tim tense beside him but he had to push him just a little further.
“We all know you’d hit on everyone and their brother when given the chance. Speaking of brothers…” He turned his head to look at Jared, before focusing back on Tim with a mocking smirk and a cocked eyebrow.
Tim threw his fork down, glanced apologetically at Jared and Tomo and disappeared to the hallway. A few seconds later they heard the door slam closed, signalling Tim’s departure.
“Well done, dumb fuck,” Jared sneered, cuffing his brother over the head.
“Stay the fuck out of it, Jared.” He dug into his breakfast, letting his thoughts drift to his young lover, who would no doubt be wandering around the city now, trying to calm his anger. Not his problem.
“How can I stay the fuck out of it if you include us in your little game of…of…whatever the fuck you think you’re accomplishing here?”
“It’s none of your fucking business, Jared.” From the corner of his eye he saw Tomo observing his eggs as though they were a piece of art. Poor guy was caught in the middle yet again.
“Why the fuck don’t you just admit defeat and tell him what everyone already knows?” Jared sounded almost desperate, trying to reason with Shannon.
“And what is it that everyone already knows, huh?”
“Whatever there once was with you and Tim, Shan, it’s gone now.”
No, it fucking was not.
Was it?
He kept silent through the rest of breakfast and afterwards agreed with Jared and Tomo they’d pick him and Tim up around eleven. When they left he tried to focus on different things while cleaning the dishes and the kitchen but his mind inevitably turned back to Jared’s words.
“Whatever there once was with you and Tim, Shan, it’s gone now.”
There had been a lot of things that could potentially break them up; not just the differences between them. Tim was not an official member of the band and it kept putting them on uneven ground even though Shannon tried to prevent that from happening. He knew Tim felt like the fifth wheel sometimes when they spent time with Jared and Tomo, but Tim never mentioned it. Shannon had brought it up once or twice but Tim had assured him he was fine with the arrangement as it was.
It still didn’t sit well with Shannon, so at first he overcompensated, stressing the similarities between Tim and Tomo. Or inviting Jared over and leaving him alone with Tim so they could bond. It didn’t exactly have the desired effect though, it either pissed Tim off or made him retreat into himself. So Shannon had finally let it rest hoping Tim didn’t mind and really did agree with the way things were. That was back when he’d still cared.
And fuck it, it wasn’t that he didn’t care anymore, it was just that they’d shifted into this shape and now they couldn’t get out. Couldn’t break through the pattern even if they wanted to. Shannon wanted to, sometimes at least.
He thought things were going a bit better in the band area lately, seeing as they couldn’t go much worse than in every other area with them at the moment. They both just kept going and going. Like this morning. He knew how much Tim hated to be told what to do, by anyone, but especially by Shannon. Shannon couldn’t help playing on that though, it was like an itch that wouldn’t leave him alone until he scratched it.
He hung around for a bit, reading his book and watching some TV when he finally realized he had better get showered and dressed.
As he stood in the shower, he enjoyed the feel of hot jets of water streaming down on him. His hands were braced in front of him on the slippery tiles of the wall, and he fondly remembered he’d been in this exact position before, only he hadn’t been alone back then. When was the last time they’d had sex? He couldn’t remember very well. At least more than a month ago, and even then it had been quick and angry and it had left him feeling uneasy.
Did he miss sex? Fuck yeah. Did he miss sex with Tim? Possibly, not that he’d admit to that. It wasn’t just sex he missed though, he simply missed touching Tim, kissing him and holding him close when they slept. How could he ever have taken it for granted. Not just sex, but sex was a part of it. His thoughts went back to a previous time in that very shower while his hand smoothed down the slick skin of his abdomen.
Tim’s hands slid down his back, tracing water drops, before he leaned down to follow the path of his hands with his tongue. Shannon rested his forehead against the cold tiles on the shower wall, bracing his hands on the slippery surface and he moaned softly.
Tim stood straight again, pressed his lips to Shannon’s shoulder at the same time Shannon felt a slippery finger press against his entrance. Tim whispered in his ear and Shannon could feel his lover’s lips curl up in a smile.
He was pulled out of his memory when he heard someone opening the bedroom door and shuffling around. Tim. He’d expected Tim would come back to get dressed for their night out, if only to prove to Shannon that he could do as he pleased. Hopefully Tim wouldn’t come in and find him like this; half-aroused, desperate for some touch other than his own.
He tensed when he heard the bathroom door open and when nothing happened after that, he fought to not look over his shoulder and see what Tim was up to. Curiosity got the better of him though, so he turned slightly to see Tim staring at him with something that looked a lot liked sadness to Shannon. He wasn’t surprised that it hurt him to see that look in Tim’s eyes, knowing he’d put it there. Yet maybe it meant there was still something salvageable for them.
“Tim.” He didn’t want it to sound like a question or anything other than an observation.
Tim seemed to snap out of whatever it was he’d been thinking, looking away quickly. “Hurry up, Shan. I gotta shower too before we go.” And then he was gone again.
What they needed was for one of them to be the hero. To put their own pride and stubbornness aside and act for the ‘greater good’. Build bridges instead of walls but Shannon knew he had gotten comfy behind the walls, it felt safe and familiar and he didn’t have to open up too much. He willed his erection down, adjusting the temperature of the water to freezing cold. For some reason, partly the train of his thoughts lately, partly the look he’d just seen in Tim’s eyes, he thought tonight might turn out to be the moment of truth for them.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
“So the girl hands him the camera, right?” Jared was gesturing wildly while telling the story, clearly not as sober as he pretended to be. Shannon smiled at his little brother’s antics. He’d heard the story a thousand times before, but Tim hadn’t. And it was always fun to see Tomo squirm.
“And she tells him something’s wrong with the button, so she tells him he has to push softly at first and then harder and what does our dear Tomo say?”
Tomo hid his face behind his shot glass while Tim raised his eyebrows expectantly. “He says, ‘oh okay, I’m familiar with that in a different kind of situation’.”
It was enough to have Jared go into yet another giggle fit, and this time Tim happily joined in. They were clinging to each other in their drunken state, trying to hold each other up but swaying dangerously from side to side anyway.
Shannon couldn’t help but smile at Tim’s relaxed face, he looked so sweet and young and happy just laughing like this.
“He never gets tired of telling that one, does he?” Tomo mumbled, before downing the amber liquid in his glass and pouting when he realized he was now all out of liquor.
Shannon noticed that while he was feeling a pleasant tingle from the alcohol he’d consumed so far, everyone around him was a lot further down the road of drunken oblivion than he was, and he decided he had to remedy that fact. He felt Tim’s eyes linger on him when he got up to get some drinks but when he looked over at Tim the other man quickly averted his eyes.
“Where y’going, Shan?” Jared slurred at him, his arms still locked around Tim’s neck. Had it been anyone else, Shannon would have been pissed, but Jared was physical with everyone, even more so when he was drunk.
“Getting some drinks, be right back.”
“Why don’t’cha take Tim with you?” Jared nodded, making his head bob out of his control, before winking at Shannon in what he no doubt thought was a smooth gesture.
“That’s alright, Jay, I think Tim’s perfectly com-“
“Let’s go.” Tim got up, taking a moment to steady himself, and then he grabbed Shannon’s hand to drag him in the general direction of the bar.
When they finally made it to the bar, pushing their way through a tight mass of people, Tim plopped down on one of the bar stools and smiled sweetly at Shannon. Shaking his head, he leaned in to order their drinks and before he could step back he felt Tim’s hands slide from his shoulders down to his back, one hand circling his waist, the other resting on his hip.
“Tim, what’re you-“ He swallowed the rest of his words when he felt Tim’s body plaster itself against his back and the other man’s tongue peeking out to lick his neck. The hand on his waist slid underneath his thin shirt and teasingly stroked the sensitive skin of his belly while his eyes closed; he enjoyed the feel of those hands on him. He felt his heartbeat speed up and wondered whether someone had just turned off the a/c because it sure as fuck was getting hot in here.
When their drinks arrived, Shannon wanted to grab them and go back to their table but Tim’s hands over his stopped him.
“What’s the rush?” He whispered in Shannon’s ear, his fingers slowly dancing over Shannon’s.
“I said we’d be back with drinks, Tim,” Shannon turned around and looked at his young lover who, even though he knew it was because he was drunk, looked at him with love in his eyes. Love, for the first time in…for fucking ever and it warmed him all over; he didn’t want to walk away from it.
Tim must have guessed he had given in, because he handed Shannon a glass of whiskey and took one for himself. “Bottoms up.”
Shannon nodded and downed his drink in one gulp, grabbing Tim’s shirt when he saw the other man was threatening to fall backwards off his stool after drinking his own. Instead, Tim now fell forwards with his arms locked around Shannon, his face hidden in Shannon’s neck.
“Tim?” He tried to look down to see why Tim wasn’t moving, but he only got a muffled reply in response. He shivered when Tim licked at his neck lazily.
Tim pushed the drinks meant for Jared and Tomo at him and pulled back to look from him, to the drinks and back. Shannon rolled his eyes but Tim just raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to empty the glasses.
He finally picked one shot glass up off the bar, cocked his head at Tim and drank it up. The second one followed in rapid succession and it made him a bit fuzzy. He hadn’t eaten much before going out and the unmistakeable effect of strong drinks on an empty stomach made itself known immediately. He felt his cheeks flush and his entire skin warm as though he were suddenly sitting in bright sunlight. Rocking back and forward on his heels slowly he savored the feeling for a bit until his eyes landed on Tim, who was still smiling at him.
“What?” He might have meant for it to sound like an angry sneer but it didn’t quite come out that way.
Tim just shrugged his shoulders and kept looking at him with that goofy grin on his face. He felt the corners of his own mouth curl up too; it was impossible not to smile in return. “What, Tim?”
Tim leaned forward and softly brushed his lips against Shannon’s in a barely-there kiss. The contact was brief and light but it left Shannon’s face with a pleasant tingle. Tim’s face was still just inches away from his own so he didn’t have to strain to catch the lowly murmured words.
“I love us when we don’t fight.” Tim’s fingers traced his eyebrows, down his cheek, to his shoulders while those eyes stayed on him.
He swallowed thickly and felt the blood rush down from his head, leaving him lightheaded. The words caught him by surprise though they shouldn’t have. He may wonder daily why he stuck with Tim but in the meantime, Tim had made no move to leave him either. There was something still there for the both of them even though neither one of them would admit to it, at least not when sober. Yet Tim was being honest, he knew that, and he wanted to be honest with him too.
“Me too.” He took Tim’s hand from his shoulders and entwined their fingers, taking a step closer until they were pressed together from head to toe. He hesitated to say the next words but they were the truth and what did he really have to lose at this point? “I hate what we’ve turned into.”
Tim nodded sadly, an adorable and still slightly drunk pout gracing his lips. “We should get drunk more often if that…helps.”
Noticing the curious glances from people around them, Shannon decided it might be a good idea to take things a bit more private. He grabbed Tim’s shoulders and pushed him slowly through the crowd of people, trying to maintain both his own and Tim’s balance until they reached a quieter part of the club, further away from the bar and dance floor. There were only a few people hanging around and none of them even looked up at them once.
Shannon steered them towards the back wall and pressed Tim against it. Standing in front of Tim like that he suddenly realized this was how it all started. He leaned in and kissed Tim, resting his hands on Tim’s hips and pulling them closer together. Their lips moved slowly against each other and a shock went through Shannon’s system when he remembered it was absolutely great to kiss Tim. Just the right amount of lips and tongue and a playful nip of teeth here and there to send a shiver down his spine.
They made out like horny teenagers, hands re-exploring once-familiar territory, tongues re-acquainting, and their bodies still fitting together as perfect as ever. Shannon pulled back from Tim’s lips to kiss up the side of his face pressing his lips to Tim’s temple while his arms were still locked tightly around him.
“D’you wanna go home?” He heard Tim mumble near his ear and it sounded like a great idea. Go home, together, to their home. It hit him again how happy he should be that it was still their home, that he still had someone to go home to even if the situation was far from ideal, he wasn’t alone. They were still together.
“Yeah, let’s go.”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
In the cab on the way home they had continued to kiss and grope, attracting disapproving frowns from the driver but not giving a fuck. It wasn’t until they were standing in their living room, both of them on opposite ends of it, just looking at each other that reality slowly began to sink in.
Shannon was still feeling the rush of too much alcohol, and Tim’s gaze was still slightly unfocused. The severity of the moment wasn’t lost on him. If either one of them walked away now, that would be it; no going back. He didn’t want that, didn’t think he could cope if Tim turned his back on him now.
He was lost in thought and didn’t notice Tim walking towards him until they were standing close. Tim looked at him, no doubt trying to assess just how big the risk was that Shannon would be the one walking out on him.
He wanted Tim, had missed Tim yet on some level he was worried to give himself up like that. With all the bullshit between them, he wasn’t very eager to open up and let Tim back in, show him that he still wanted them to work out and go back to the way they used to be. They were no longer at a point where it came natural to be vulnerable with each other in any way.
“Stop thinking, Shan.” Tim’s voice was hoarse from smoking too much and drinking too little. Too little non-alcoholic liquids that is, he’d drunk plenty just not the good kind.
If Tim wanted this too, would it be so bad to give in? If they both let go of everything holding them back, they’d be even and it should be okay, right?
“Unless you don’t, I mean, eh.” Tim rubbed a hand over his face before looking back at Shannon. “If you don’t wanna do this, now would be a good time to walk away.”
Shannon shook his head slowly; he’d made up his mind. He was not going to be a pussy but he was going to own up to what he felt, what he wanted, and right now, he wanted Tim.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
Tim was on him in a flash, crushing their lips together, clinging to Shannon as though he were afraid if he let go Shannon would walk away. Nothing was further from Shannon’s mind in that moment though. All that existed were Tim’s lips on his, his arms around him and his own arms pulling Tim to him. He felt Tim’s hands pull up the hem of his shirt, eager to get it off. He lifted his arms and let Tim remove the garment, their lips parting just the few seconds it took to take the shirt off.
He hastily and clumsily unbuttoned Tim’s shirt, throwing it behind them as soon as it came off. He ended their kiss with a quick nip to Tim’s lower lip and looked down at the smooth skin of his chest, letting his hands slide over the warm skin. In that moment it felt like nothing had ever come between them. He glanced up at Tim who was watching him closely, kicked his shoes off and kneeled down in front of him.
From down there, Tim’s eyes looking down at him seemed to almost glow in the semi-darkness of the room. He pressed his lips to the skin just below Tim’s belly button, letting his tongue slip out briefly to taste saltiness of his skin. Tim sighed softly, and when Shannon looked up he saw his eyes had closed and Tim was swaying slightly from side to side.
“You better lay down,” he said, taking Tim’s hand and pulling softly. Tim’s eyes opened again and he nodded before slowly lowering himself to floor. Shannon manoeuvred them so that Tim was lying on his back on the soft rug, and Shannon was sitting in between his spread legs, fumbling with the button and zipper of Tim’s jeans.
He finally got them lose and shifted so he could pull Tim’s pants off. Tim was supporting himself on his elbows, looking down at Shannon who began to kiss and lick along the rim of Tim’s boxers.
“Fuck, Shan.” Tim’s head fell back and Shannon smirked cockily. He still knew just how to make Tim come undone. He slowly pulled the boxers down, allowing Tim’s hard cock to slap up against his stomach.
The corny comment about certain parts of Tim’s anatomy clearly having missed him was swallowed; no need to bring up the bad shit now. Instead he licked once around the head of Tim’s cock, tonguing the slit and massaging his balls with one hand. Tim’s hips lifted trying to get more of Shannon’s mouth on him but Shannon moved his hands to hold him down while he kept bobbing his head up and down the hard length.
Somehow it had a nice sense of intimacy to it, on a level he had really missed. It seemed like Tim was ten times more sensitive than he remembered him to be but that must be what happens when you go without sex for as long as they had.
When he felt Tim’s hands clawing at his shoulders, trying to pull him up he popped his mouth off of Tim’s cock and moved up the other man’s body until they were face to face again. Tim lifted his head to kiss him and Shannon felt Tim’s hands close around his arms. Before he knew what was happening Tim had flipped him around, now lying on top of Shannon and grinning down at him with that cocky grin.
“Getting sloppy, Shan.” He leaned back in to smash their lips together, and Shannon felt the sharp teeth nip his lip just enough to hurt in all the right ways. He slid his hands down the curve of Tim’s back and grabbed his bare ass, pulling their hips tightly together. Tim relaxed on top of him, still kissing lazily, sloppily, like he always did when slightly intoxicated. Shannon planted his feet on the ground and rolled them over again, settling on top of Tim and pulling his hands up over his head, pinning them there with one of his own.
“Sloppy my ass,” he growled, grinding his denim-covered groin down against Tim’s. He watched Tim’s mouth open, watched a bead of sweat run from his hair down the side of his face and he leaned in to kiss it away before it fell to the floor.
“Ya like that, Timmy?” Timmy, how long had it been since he’d used that name? The word still felt familiar on his tongue though, it felt right. Yeah, liquor made him a fucking pussy, but he was happy to have his Timmy back.
“Yes, please.” Tim was moving his hips again, trying to get more friction and Shannon finally took pity on him. He unbuttoned his pants with one hand then sat back to pull them lower and off. Tim’s eyes stayed locked on him, sliding over his naked skin with such intensity it made him shiver.
Tim stretched a hand out and Shannon took it, lying back down on top of Tim, gasping when their cocks slid together.
“What do you want, Tim?” He had to ask, had to be sure they were both on the same page here. Though between the two of them being naked and aroused, he was pretty sure they had the same kind of thing in mind.
“Fuck me.” Tim’s words were barely louder than a whisper but it was all Shannon needed to know.
When they finally fucked, or made love or whatever the fuck you want to call it, it was everything it should have been after all this time. The attraction and passion between them had not dwindled but only grown stronger and even the one thing they’d both thought they’d lost was still there; love.
When they came, clinging to each other as though their lives depended on it, gasped ‘I love you’s’ were exchanged and sweet nonsense was whispered in their ears. They promised each other things would change from now on; promised each other they’d never let it get this far again and they would stop picking fights over everything.
As they lay curled up together in their bed, Shannon spooning Tim from behind, Shannon smiled to himself. They would be alright.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
The first thing that registered when his eyes blinked slowly, trying to get used to the light, was the pounding of his head, the dryness of his mouth, the queasy feeling in his stomach; the telltale signs of a nice Sunday morning hangover.
The second thing he realized, was the fact that he was lying in bed, naked, with Tim just a few inches away from him. They weren’t touching but they were close enough Shannon only had to reach out a little to touch him. But he didn’t. Memories from last night slowly filtered back into his head, the words said, the sex, everything.
He tried to swallow but his tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth, making it impossible to do anything. He shifted a little but froze again when he felt his stomach doing flip flops. There wasn’t much time to analyze the situation because Tim’s eyes fluttered open, a hand rubbing his face and a moan escaping his parted lips. Looks like he wasn’t the only one with a hangover from hell.
Tim focused on him and he looked confused for a second before covering it up with the same cold and angry mask he’d been wearing for weeks. It chilled Shannon a bit, how easy that cold, calculated indifference could cover the face of the man he…loved.
Shannon suddenly wanted to bolt. That would be easier than having to face exactly what went on here last night. Now, without the buzz of alcohol and the dimmed lights, things didn’t seem so rosy and dream-like anymore.
Tim’s cold eyes stayed on him and it pissed him the fuck off. If Tim could go from loving and wanting him one night, and back to this shit the next day then fuck him.
“No need to play the blushing virgin now, Tim,” he bit out, his jaw clenched tightly. “You were fucking desperate for me to fuck you last night and you know it.”
“Fuck you, Shannon.” Tim’s voice sounded like sandpaper grinding over glass and he sat up, turning his back on Shannon. “You weren’t exactly Mister in-control either so get the fuck off my case and leave me the fuck alone.” He stood up and padded into the bathroom, not once looking over his shoulder.
If he had, he might have seen the brief flash of regret and sadness on Shannon’s face. He might have noticed he wasn’t the only one who had wanted what they’d had last night; and he might have figured out their constant bitching was not as necessary as he thought it to be.