floating in a tin can
I would like to watch you sleeping, which may not happen. I would like to watch you, sleeping. I would like to sleep with you, to enter your sleep as its smooth dark wave slides over my head

and walk with you through that lucent wavering forest of bluegreen leaves with its watery sun & three moons towards the cave where you must descend, towards your worst fear

I would like to give you the silver branch, the small white flower, the one word that will protect you from the grief at the center of your dream, from the grief at the center I would like to follow you up the long stairway again & become the boat that would row you back carefully, a flame in two cupped hands to where your body lies beside me, and as you enter it as easily as breathing in

I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed
& that necessary.

- margaret atwood

June 2017

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Posts Tagged: '2015.03'

Feb. 8th, 2015


[info]jewsinspace
[info]spaceodyssey

[info]jewsinspace
[info]spaceodyssey

IMPOSSIBLE TO MAKE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND


[info]jewsinspace
[info]spaceodyssey
March 13th, 2015
It’s around 8:30 PM on a Friday night, and Michael and Wolfgang are sitting in a booth at a Lower East Side deli. It’s quiet and slow for a Friday—Shem’s place is always slow—and it would be nice if that could help Michael feel any calmer, but it doesn’t. Nothing could do that right now. He doesn’t want to be here, he wants to run. Out the door, through the wall, anything, as fast as he can and as far away as he can get. He’ll take Wolfgang with him. They don’t understand why neither of them should be doing this.

The two of them have been looking for somewhere to live together, and although they haven’t yet found a place they can both agree on, it’s only a matter of time. That’s not the problem; that decision they’d sat on for three months (three whole months!) before making and although it scares the shit out of him, it’s something he’s grown to desire deeply. Wolfgang eventually mentioned, though, that they didn’t understand how Michael could make such a commitment when they hadn’t even introduced them to his father, who lives in town—who currently lives with Michael.

He’d been hoping they wouldn’t bring that up, that they wouldn’t notice or wouldn’t care or that they’d get the hint that it wasn’t a good idea. He’d tried to tell them, then, that they really shouldn’t bother meeting Morris, it wasn’t important, but Wolfgang seemed hurt by that, and then he felt horrible. The more the two of them talked about it, the more his lack of choice became obvious. Morris had been getting suspicious anyway, and Michael had to give him a reason for moving out. Something he’d believe. Michael is a terrible liar and Morris knows it.

So now they’re sitting here waiting for Morris to arrive, and Michael feels anxious enough to be sick. He can’t stop shifting around in his seat, looking out the window and then at the door and then back out the window and then around the restaurant. He adjusts and readjusts his stretched-out shirt collar like it’s choking him. It feels like ants are running all over his skin.

“I can’t take this,” he mutters. “This is terrible.”
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