|KYU-SIK ⫷ f a t h e r d a g o n (esotericordered) wrote in somuchtodo,|
@ 2014-05-16 21:51:00
|Current music:||New Slang by The Shins|
|Entry tags:||au: french revolution, character: donovan, character: kyu-sik|
What in the world had his life become? Yes, times were hard. He couldn’t even remember any of his days being easy. Happiness was just as fleeting. However, his life at least had some sort of stability in the past. He was raised by the church, in the church. It was his foundation and his basis for everything. Then, suddenly, it was pulled out beneath him with the rapid and violent social upturn. He witnessed the church humbly comply with revolutionaries only to be slaughtered in return. Those who didn’t flee were forced out of their religion.
That is where he stood now. Though he had been willing to give his young life for his god and way of life, an opportunity to live was given to him. Perhaps it was because it would save more than his own life that he considered it a gift from the heavens rather than a blasphemy. But it was still hard. For only a moment, Caspar’s dark eyes drifted up to the other standing in the room with him. He married a man in a time of desperation. He was living a lie, and he was praying everyday that he could be forgiven.
It was awkward on multiple levels. One, he was a monk pulled out of a very minimalistic lifestyle now pulled into a different world where he needed to find work and wear something other than robes. Two, he was legally married to a man pretending to be a woman. Which was good in terms of inheriting the other man’s clothes, but anything that seemed somewhat fancy was traded off for something more modest aside from the waistcoat he wore on their wedding day. He felt guilty that he had literally nothing to offer in return, of course. What little he had was merely his faith and friends, and nearly all of that had been taken from him.
He hardly even knew what he could say to Dominique. They had hardly talked. He was hardly at home, either out looking for peace or a job. The majority of the conversation that happened in the small apartment they managed to find happened when Benjamin happened to visit. Other than that the air between them just felt quiet and heavy. Caspar didn’t really know what else he could have expected when he agreed to put himself in the situation, but he knew he was playing a large part in causing the silence. How uncomfortable he was with everything was obvious.
But they had met once before. It was only in that small memory that he saw any sort of optimism in getting through the current circumstance until they no longer needed to pretend. This was only temporary, so he knew he should try to do better. He hesitated, letting the light clacking of gathering dishes fill the space before he finally decided to speak. “I may have found a job today,” he said clearly, but almost softly.