Thoughts derailed quicker than Donovan could piece them together, a hundred awkward love confessions crumbling into hopeless debris before he had the chance to let out a shuddering exhale. Worded tactfully didn't change the knowing that nothing Kyu-Sik said following the broken promise would be any less painful. And even worse, he knew there would be nothing he could say to have any influence over the outcome. Even without Kyu-Sik saying as much, Donovan could hear the proclamation that it was over louder than the man's attempts at what he assumed was to make him understand.
He once thought that he'd become immune to disappointment, had accepted it so fully into his life that it'd never have a chance to catch him by surprise. Yet there it was, clawing a pit deep into his stomach that he wished to crawl into and not have to face the dismantling of the only thing he'd thought he had left. Damn did he feel like a fool.
Kyu-Sik had an entire life outside of their friendship- a job and a family and many more things that required his responsibility. Donovan wouldn't have dared rank himself anywhere of importance, but he'd been hopeful that maybe one day he could have meant a bit more.
Closing his eyes, Donovan concentrated on nothing more than breathing in and out. "It was unfair of me to expect... to hold you to..." Donovan shook his head, wishing it hadn't meant so much to him as it had. "I never meant to get in the way of... whatever's so important." He had always tried to avoid imposing himself where he wasn't wanted, but could admit that he'd been eager to take up as much time of Kyu-Sik's that he could get away with over the last few weeks.
Really, he should had seen this coming, suddenly feeling quite disgusted at himself for having thought he could rely on somebody else with so little to offer in return. He wondered how pathetic he must appear in the other's eyes, refusing to even glance over at him to find out.
"No time is a good time to be rejected," he shook his head, knowing that prolonging this would just cause more suffering than he'd be able to handle. "I'm sure whatever reasons you have are well thought out and necessary. So if this is it, I rather just skip that bit where you go into too much detail of why." He'd heard every unforgivable wrong about himself in the past through many different voices, had scratched every sin into clenched and bloodied palms. Hearing it from Kyu-Sik too would be far too much, and he wanted to maintain some composure.