Though his eyes drifted back to Donovan, he avoided making eye contact. A moment later and he turned them to the sea instead. He wanted to return the sentiment and that smile. He really did. However, he couldn’t even bring himself to fake one. “I… don’t think I can keep that promise anymore.” The least he could do was be honest. He respected Donovan enough for that. He had cared about him enough for that. He was a friend and he wasn’t going to stab him in the back. Some weird logic in his brain wanted the other man to really understand what he was going to do before he did it.
“If I don’t keep myself busy the world finds ways to make me that way. Something very important came up and I’m not in a position to ignore it,” he explained. He hesitated to continue. Was that too formal? Was there any other way to put it? When he went over the statement again in his head, he knew that he must have sounded like an employer about to let someone go. And… well, he was letting someone go and then some.
The pause probably wasn’t as long as Kyu-Sik thought it was. He took in a quiet deep breath and tried to think of what else to say. No amount of rehearsing it in his head had helped prepare him. For a split second he struggled with his decision internally. He could’ve turned back and tried again another day. However, that wouldn’t have made it easier. He wasn’t the type to put off his duties, even when it was something like this. Then again, perhaps it was something that shouldn’t just be up to him.
“We need to talk. There’s a lot that I need to tell you and it’s going to take awhile. If… tonight isn’t a good time, it can wait. But it can’t wait for long.”