InsaneJournal

Who: Agnes Bird and a hapless zombie
What: Hoping for a semi-coherent chat with Cookie, Ms. Bird discovers her crush's latest victim instead.
Where: Compton County Jail, near the cell until recently occupied by Chase Avery.
When: Not long after the jail break.
Rating: R for zombie gore
Status: complete


Agnes Bird didn't have many illusions about her relationship with Cookie. She knew he was a whack-a-doo. But he was her whack-a-doo, at least as long as he remained behind bars. And since no one else in Snyderville had any illusions about Chase Avery, either, safely behind bars was where her darling Cookie would stay.

Agnes like to drop by at odd hours and tell Cookie about her day. Nothing like a captive audience. Sometimes he even pretended interest. So cute. This visit, she'd brought a little project she'd been working on. A zombie defense option for those who couldn't handle a gun or the rigors of hand-to-hand combat.

As she turned down a corridor, Agnes made note of the blood stains--handprints smeared along the walls, sticky and congealed, but clearly made recently. Concerned, but never thinking to call for help, Agnes picked up her pace, breaking into a labored jog as she got closer to her beloved's cell.

The zombie that lurched out at her was hardly a surprise. Agnes Bird was no fool--she wouldn't be running to Cookie's aid if she'd been unarmed! She readied her spray bottle with a quick pump or two to prime it, then aimed the nozzle at the unfortunate creature's face.

It no longer had the brains--nor, Agnes noted clinically, the voicebox--to scream, but it did recoil as the fine mist struck it. Flesh began to blister and peel almost instantly. Emboldened, Agnes pressed her attack, soaking the creature's head liberally with her home-made solution. The zombie's eyeballs oozed from their sockets, skin and facial muscles melting and running down like spilled marinara sauce.

When there was nothing left but blackened bone, Agnes aimed a kick at the thing's knees. It toppled, the skull cracking against the concrete floor with a satisfying crunch.

"Cookie! Are you all right, snookums?" she bellowed. As she stepped over the doubly-dead body of the guard, Agnes noted in passing that her amateur chemical warfare device had peeled the paint right off the wall. Then she arrived at her darling's empty cell.

"Oh, poo."