OK, I said I would write on the good kind of commenting/feedback in fandom exchanges (and in general) for my final NaBloPoMo because tomorrow starts all the holiday gift exchanges. But, I have a tendency to babble about these things, which can be too much information in a messy pile of paragraphs. I should try to keep it simple, right?, so that those considering delurking to comment won't be overwhelmed by the very idea of it. To that end, here is one of my famous lists, the kind where my comments get longer as I go along. ^_^
1. No heavy criticism - Most exchanges are anonymous; the creators can't defend themselves until the end of the month, so your comments sit out there making you look meeeen and the creator's friends froth at the mouth.
2. You just
have to give
one critical comment? - Say what you liked about the gift and that you have some critiques you'd like to pass on through the mods or that you will leave when the gifter is revealed. Something like, "I have some concrit for you, but I'll come back to leave it when you're able to address my comments as yourself," would be nice.
2.5. No flames! - Think you have the right to criticize anyway? Ok, I won't argue with you on that, fandom has been debating it for years. But be sure to address your issues with the gift without getting personal about it. The
story sucks, not the author.
2.75. Don't impose your ideas on "how things should be" on creators during exchanges - Remember, they are creating a gift based on someone's specific wants and desires. If you think Remus would never wear a ponytail, don't complain about or disagree with Remus having a pony tail. That's a comment based on your
preferences - which, really, never reflect well on you even outside of exchanges; they just look worse in the context of an exchange.
3. COMMENT ON YOUR GIFT - In the last two years, I've been seeing gifts go unacknowledged all over the place. I think this might be the height of rude in an exchange. You might not like your gift, but you should at least let the creator know you saw it.
3.5. So you hate your gift... - Fine, it happens. Not everyone is a strong creator. Pick out a phrase or two you like and note them, or choose an event in the fic you *did* like, and use that for your comment to your gifter. Say
something positive and thank them. You don't have to squee. You don't have to lie. But an effort was made on your behalf and you should thank your gifter for that much. If your gifter sees through your good comments and knows you didn't like the gift, at least they know you saw it. Most creators are dying to know what her giftee thinks, and if it's good or bad, knowing is the most important thing. Plus, again, at least acknowledging your gift makes you look like less of an asshole. ^_^
3.75. Lighten up on your gifter - Sometimes, it seems like people expect the
perfect gift in an exchange. Try to remember that your creator isn't psychic (probably). Your gifter can only create based on what was in your sign-up. If some of the elements you asked for are in your gift, and no elements you specifically forbade, give your creator points for that and try to enjoy your gift as it's given.
4. If you read or looked,
comment! - Lurkers, this one's for you. Say
something, even if it's just "Enjoyed" or "Thank you". Exchange gifts are not like regular works where the creators control the entire piece from start to finish, and, therefore, should be happy with their result, regardless of how many comments it gets. Exchange gifts usually cause creators to step outside their comfort zones or to try something new. Most creators work hard to create
just the right piece for someone, and on a deadline. In other words, there's usually more blood, sweat and tears in an exchange piece than usual. Make the extra effort. Comment.
5. Remember where you're posting - If you're reading a gift's replies and you see an icon you love, please don't tell someone you love her icon and then forget to comment on the gift. In other words, don't start up side conversations without first making sure you let the creator know what you thought of the gift. It's just another seriously rude thing I see both in exchanges and on posted creations in general.
Now, please don't interpret the above as messages just for
snupin_santa-ers. I've been in and watched all sorts of exchanges. I'm speaking from years of reading along, not as some targeted message to
lupin_snape members. Also, please note, these are my
suggestions for commenters and readers. There's no rule here you have to follow.
That said? Don't forget to
Stuff the Stockings... ~_^
love, lore