|snarryswapmod (snarryswapmod) wrote in snarry_swap,|
@ 2007-01-25 18:59:00
|Entry tags:||creation: fic, rated: nc-17, zalil_z|
Happy Daft Day bewarethesmirk!
Author: zalil_z (schlecksi @ gmx.at)
Warnings: Rimming, mild bondage, pornreading!Harry
Prompt/Summary: When Lavender claims she has seen Harry kissing Snape, Harry doesn’t know yet that the idea isn’t quite as ridiculous as he thinks.
Author's Note: Starts before book 6 because I can’t deal with Dumbledore’s death just yet. Many many thanks to my great beta mtranc3 !
It had been a stupid day Harry decided, as he went to bed on a rainy Saturday evening. Angelina had cancelled Quidditch training so he thought he could use his time alone reading a magazine he had bought in Diagon Alley when no one had been looking. It was a porn magazine, a gay porn magazine, which did amuse Seamus a great deal when he snatched it away from him. How could Harry have known that in wizard magazines pictures not only moved but also made sounds?
Of course Seamus and Dean had heard the magazine moaning and groaning and had stormed into Harry’s private space, not only to find him with his pants down, but also to snatch the incriminating thing, and disappear with it.
The fact that annoyed Harry the most was that he couldn’t go down to the common room and demand that they give it back. He wasn’t quite ready to come out to all of Hogwarts. In fact he hadn’t been quite ready to come out to Dean and Seamus either, but now it was too late. They wouldn’t believe him if he denied it, anyway.
He sighed, pulled the blanket over his head and went to sleep, his angry scowl quickly fading to a peaceful expression.
The next morning Harry spent a lot of time combing his untamable hair, hoping that his dormmates had already finished eating when he’d arrive in the Great Hall. But he had no such luck. He finally went down when breakfast was about to end and found a place between Ron and Hermione, both of whom looked bewildered at his late arrival.
“Later.” Harry mouthed and quickly grabbed a few pieces of toast. Seamus spotted him that moment and in passing him, bent down and said flirtatiously, “Hello, Harry. Such a beautiful morning it is, don’t you think?”
Harry flushed deep red and tried to hide behind the beaker of pumpkin juice, but Lavender quickly put it out of his reach. Those near enough to hear Seamus watched them curiously.
“Seamus, please-” Harry started. “Don’t…”
“Of course not, Harry. We would never…” he said with an enormous twinkle that would have made Dumbledore proud, turning and leaving the hall with Dean, who was smirking back at the table.
“What the hell was that?” Ron asked Harry, shaking his head. “You’d think he is gay, the way he acts.”
“I think we need to talk,” Hermione said and looked sternly at Harry. “Now.”
So he had to tell them. He had managed to put Hermione off until the next break, as they had already been late for Defense against the Dark Arts, but after class that excuse wouldn’t work anymore. He didn’t want to tell them though. There had been too many occasions when Ron had called someone a “disgusting poof” and though Hermione surely was an understanding person, he couldn’t imagine her reaction to that piece of information. She’d probably collect all the books on homosexuality she could get, and try to force her counsel on him.
But he supposed they had a right to know, since even Seamus and Dean knew it.
Between wondering about their reactions and trying not to look at Seamus, the hours passed slowly and yet much too fast and the dreaded moment came nearer. After the lesson, the three of them left wordlessly and locked themselves into an unused cupboard. Hermione threw a silencing spell on the door and they turned to look at Harry intently.
“So what, mate?” Ron asked finally.
“Well,” Harry started and noticed that he already had week knees. “You know, I didn’t want anyone to know, but Seamus kind of… found out and then I figured I had to tell you, even though you probably won’t like it but I can’t change it so-“
“Harry,” Hermione stopped him, smiling and he noticed he’d been rattling on and on without making sense.
“ You can tell us anything, and we promise we won’t be judgemental. Well, I won’t be.” She added with a side glance at Ron who became furiously red.
“I won’t be either!” he declared loudly, ignoring Hermione and looking back at Harry.
“You can tell me anything, too.”
“Alright,” Harry took a deep breath. “I think I’m gay.”
Ron went beet red and leaned a few inches away from him. So much for not being judgmental.
“Phew… don’t think we don’t like you anymore, but that’s a bit of a surprise to us…” Ron stammered.
Hermione still smiled. “Speak for yourself. Good to see you’ve noticed too, Harry. Now what was Seamus’ going on about?”
He was stunned. Harry had imagined their reactions a bit differently; but then they were his best friends, and who would be understanding if not they?
“You mean, it’s okay?” he asked, feeling a bit stupid standing in a closet with his friends and talking as if that was a normal point in their daily agenda.
“And what are you saying anyways? You knew?” he said, pointing his wand accusingly in Hermione’s direction.
“Well, ..let’s say, you were a bit obvious about it. Did you tell Seamus? Was that the reason he was so strange?”
Harry blushed again. “I didn’t exactly tell him…”
Ron went white. “Don’t tell me how he found out, please..”
Harry sniggered nervously. He didn’t want to know what Ron was thinking, but now he thought about it, he found there were even more embarassing ways to come out. From that point of view, he could consider himself lucky. Almost.
“He found a magazine I bought in Diagon Alley. He took it with him and I could hardly ask him for it back…”
Hermione nodded. “So he was flirting with you.”
“He was?” Ron asked. “Do you like him? Do you like me??”
Hermione chuckled. “Ron, Harry doesn’t like all boys any more than I do.”
“I know,” Ron said, but he let out a breath he had been holding for some time.
Harry smiled. So it was out and he didn’t have to hide his secret anymore. It had been hard not to be able to talk to anybody about it. Especially to his best friends, who never kept things from him, and whom he could always tell everything.
“Shall we go back to the common room?” Harry asked.
“Yeah,” Hermione agreed. “Let’s get your porn back.” She said and blushed.
The same evening, Hermione had had a * talk * with Seamus, and Harry got his magazine back. She wouldn’t tell Harry how exactly she made him give it back and just said she had a way of solving things. Harry and Ron didn’t question that.
The following weeks were uneventful. Everyone was still busy not mentioning anything about the happenings in the ministry around Harry to notice that he seemed to have repressed all his feelings and acted as if it hadn’t happened.
Sometimes he saw Hermione and Ron look at him funnily as if they were worried, but they had let him know that he could always talk to them and didn’t bother him further. He didn’t want to talk about it. Talking would make it real and he wasn’t ready for that. Not thinking was fine for now.
One evening, a few weeks after the Seamus incident, Harry had a shower after Quidditch practice. When he was finished, he put on his pyjamas and returned to the common room. As he walked down the stairs he heard chattering and giggling and the distinct voice of Lavender, saying “I swear, I saw it with my own eyes and Mandy saw it too! It really was Harry…I’d rather I hadn’t seen it either, but I have.”
Harry stopped and listened.
“Now really, Lavender, who’s going to believe that?” Parvati answered. “I mean, Snape? Nobody would want to kiss him, least of all Harry…”
“I know, but I * saw * it. By the way, did I mention it was disgusting?” A few people sniggered.
Harry had heard enough. He took the last few steps down and enjoyed the guilt on the faces of his housemates.
“What did you see?” he asked Lavender and looked into the round. Neville clumsily tried to hide behind Parvati and failed.
“I saw you and Snape kissing in a dungeon corridor.” Lavender replied defiantly. “I know what I saw.”
“Youre lying,” Harry said. “I was on the Quidditch pitch and then I had a shower.”
“Sure,” she said and turned back to Parvati. Harry turned around, fetched his invisibility cloak from his trunk and stormed to the library, where Ron and Hermione were still studying. On the way, he deliberately bumped into Seamus and Dean, who were also whispering behind a corner. Probably Lavender had already told them her lies.
To Ron and Hermione the gossip were news, since they had been in the library for quite some time. When Harry told them, Ron became alternately red and white until he told him that it was, in fact, not true.
“How could you believe that?” Hermione questioned Ron amusedly while Harry guiltily watched his shoelaces. He did have a bit of a crush on Snape but it wasn’t really important since they weren’t best friends anyways. And it wasn’t that much of a crush, really. Hermione and Ron never had to know.
“Yeah, how could you!” Harry echoed and smiled a bit when Ron didn’t know what to say.
Silence fell until the three of them broke out in laughter.
In Hogwarts, gossip was like flu – those who were concerned didn’t like it, but as soon as someone had caught it, it spread faster than a wildfire.
The good humour Harry had found in the library faded fast. The day after he had overheard Parvati it seemed as if every Gryffindor had heard it. Strange looks followed Harry down the corridors to class and even his classmated looked at him funnily.
By noon, the Ravenclaws and Slytherins began to stare too and Harry counted eleven, more or less artistic, drawings of him and Snape snogging, which he had received during lessons.
Luckily the Slytherins seemed to be torn between picking on him and standing by their Head of House. Malfoy, however, being a treacherous bastard, didn’t have any inhibitions and sent Harry a few flying slips of paper that Harry collected and destroyed swiftly.
He didn’t want the word to spread to the professors.
Merlin knew what Snape would do, if he heard of it! He would undoubtedly blame Harry and force some gruesome punishment on him he really didn’t deserve. Speaking of blaming, Harry passed one fleeting moment thinking Snape could be the one behind this. But he supposed, since the Harry that had apparently been there hadn’t been the real Harry, there would also have to be a Fake Snape.
“Harry, come on!” Hermione nudged him, and he noticed he had been daydreaming in his toast.
Just then the bell rang.
“Go on, or we’ll be too late for Potions!”
“Alright, alright.” He followed her and Ron down to the dungeons, hoping they’d be late enough not to have to be stared at while waiting for Snape.
He was lucky. The three of them arrived just as the other students filed in. They rushed in quickly after them and took seats in the last row.
“Sit!” Snape bellowed and shut the door with a flick of his wand. “Today we will attempt – and hopefully survive - a Blood Replenishing Potion. It’s a very complex and unstable potion so you will need to pay attention. Do you think you can do that, Mr. Thomas?”
Startled, Dean looked up and tried to hide something behind him. Wonderful. That would probably the first drawing this lesson and Snape had already noticed.
“Yes, Sir.” Dean answered quietly and put his hands on the desk again. Thankfully, Snape left him alone and continued the lesson.
Harry tried to concentrate on the potion and, although paired up with Ron, did quite well. By the end of the lesson their potion simmered quietly in the cauldron. It was just one shade off and the viscosity was accurate, as far as Harry could tell. He smiled proudly as Snape, who had been strolling around controlling their results, approached them.
“My, my, Potter and Weasley, as usual the last to finish. If I hadn’t already given up hopes on you, I might wonder how you managed to get the colour so different again. One can only hope your career aspirations are not anything even remotely resembling mediwizardry.”
Harry’s smile disappeared and Ron started to mumble swearwords under his breath. Harry knew he had no right to be disappointed. Why should Snape suddenly act differently than before? He didn’t know that Harry didn’t really hate him and he probably didn’t care either. Once the lesson ended, Harry angrily packed his things and turned to leave when Snape spoke again.
“ Potter, your effort was abysmal. Stay for your detention information.”
As soon as the door had closed after the last student, Snape approached Harry’s desk and sighed.
“You know it’s not true,” Harry said defiantly and looked up at him. He knew he shouldn’t provoke Snape but it was true, his potion had been accurate. Even Hermione had nodded happily when she had looked over to her friends.
“Do you think this is funny?” Snape suddenly shouted and slammed a piece of paper on the desk in front of Harry. Harry looked at it. It was indeed one of *those* paintings, probably the one Dean had tried to hide. He should have known Snape would not be fooled so easily.
“No, I don’t think it’s funny, Sir.” Harry answered.
“Then explain this to me!” Snapes voice cracked. “I have heard the rumours. What is this about?? Are you trying to get me sacked this way?”
“I didn’t – I don’t know what happened. I didn’t do anything!” Harry stammered. The thought that Snape could get sacked hadn’t occurred to him, and he hoped the rumour hadn’t spread wider than Hogwarts’ borders. Snape couldn’t leave the school!
“You do not really think I believe one word of what you say, do you?” Snape answered slowly and leaned in to him. “Potter, I swear to you, if that’s a prank that you and some Gryffindors are playing on me, you’ll be dearly sorry.”
Snape’s face was only a few inches away from him and Harry began to sweat. This wasn’t going to help his concentration. He shifted in his seat and wished Snape would stop staring at him. Harry could already smell the scent of Potions Master, he smelt of Mandrake and tangerine and some other harsh flavour that had to be uniquely his’. Harry realised they had been staring at one another. Oh. Snape expected an answer.
“I don’t want you sacked...” he started. Snape laughed bitterly and turned away.
“Is that so? Do not understand me wrong, boy, I really could not care less. But I can’t think of one single prank you and your foolish friends were not somehow involved in.”
Harry didn’t know what to say. Snape didn’t believe him anyways. He made one last try.
“I heard Parvati Patil telling … someone” - the whole of Gryffindor apparently – “that she had seen it. She wouldn’t make it up, I know that.”
“Then it was either an illusion, a polyjuice prank, or your friend needs to visit Madam Pomfrey.” Snape told the wall. “Since you are usually so keen on sticking your nose into things that don’t concern you, I expect you to investigate this ... atrocity. Tomorrow evening you will report to me.”
Harry nodded. “Yes, Sir.”
He stood and gathered his bag and turned to the door.
“Add two ounces of ginger root to get it perfectly red.”
Harry smiled. “Thank you, Sir.”
When Harry joined Hermione and Ron in the hallway and told them what Snape had asked of him, they got excited. Ron did because they had a mystery to investigate, and Hermione because she knew now what the secret of a perfect Blood Replenishing Potion was.
“I was fairly sure that mine would have passed an inspection, but to be honest, I did wonder why it was such a light colour.” She chattered happily and noted ‘ginger root’ on her left hand in ink, so she wouldn’t forget it.
“It was funny though, he didn’t even blame me...” Harry wondered.
“Well, he surely didn’t think you would want those rumours spreading,” Hermione reasoned. “I mean, honestly, you and Snape. It’s illegal at best-”
“Not to mention, yuck!” Ron added.
Harry nodded. His bad conscience waved happily at him from a corner of his mind. But he couldn’t tell them. They would never understand. Well, maybe Hermione would. Considering the way she regarded him at the moment, maybe she already did.
It didn’t matter. It wasn’t as if anything was going to happen, so he kept quiet.
He tried to study this evening but he couldn’t seem to concentrate. First, Parvati and Lavender loudly predicted one another’s future from their respective teacups - apparently Divination homework – then, Neville loudly complained that someone had stolen the knotgrass he had so carefully nurtured. That was when Harry gave up. He stopped trying to learn and leafed idly through his Potions book until he arrived at the letter K. Knotgrass. Suddenly he remembered why it had sounded familiar. Quickly he scooped up his things and ran after Neville.
“Hey, Neville, wait!”
Neville stopped and turned around. “What is it?”
“Where did you keep your knotgrass?” Harry panted.
“I kept it in Greenhouse One, next to Professor Sprouts own plants. Everybody has access to the greenhouses, so it could have been anyone.” Neville told him, happy that someone seemed interested in his loss.
“I’m really sorry, Neville. I’ll tell you as soon as I find out who it was.” Harry said and turned. He needed to talk to Hermione and Ron.
“Yeah, I needed it for the Polyjuice Potion.” Hermione nodded. “But I took only a few leaves from a plant in a greenhouse, so nobody would notice.”
Ron nodded. “Those who made the potion this time were not so intelligent. And who do we know who doesn’t like you?”
Harry shook his head. “Do you really think it was Malfoy? Does he want to get Snape sacked?”
“The much more obvious question is: Could Malfoy brew the Polyjuicepotion?” Hermione reasoned. “Personally, I think he lacks the patience.”
“There’s no way to tell. If it was him, then he’s already finished it and doesn’t need time to disappear between lessons and that kind of stuff. You didn’t notice anything, did you?” Harry asked.
Both of his friends shook their heads. There had been no reason to watch Malfoy, so they hadn’t paid attention to what he had been doing.
“And anybody has access to the greenhouses, right? Then we are no step further than before.” Harry said quietly.
Hermione chewed on her quill. “Well, whoever it was needed the other ingredients too. But they can be mail-ordered, that’s less complicated than stealing everything. And Snape didn’t mention anything about his supplies?”
“No, he didn’t. And he *would* have accused me if there had been losses.” Harry answered, rolling his eyes.
“Well, then tell Snape that the rumours are true, and that someone wants to get both of you into trouble.” Hermione said, closing her book. “For now we can’t do more than that. Maybe he can.”
The next day, Harry almost looked forward to his ‘detention’ with Snape. When one was a randy teenager ‘detention with Snape’ sounded so very suggestive... That was why Harry was sniggering all through breakfast. Whatever his housmates were thinking, no one asked, and Harry was glad.
He tried not to look too happy though, he was supposed to have a detention and not a party. He didn’t want those people who had heard of the Polyjuice incident to think it was just an excuse for making out. A pity it wasn’t, though.
Finally it was Friday evening, Harry had slept through history, blundered his way through a Transfigurations test and seen the place where Neville had kept his knotgrass. Potions came and Harry, Ron and Hermione were one of the first to enter the classroom.
When Malfoy arrived, he impersonated a swooning Harry on the way to his usual seat in the front row. Harry couldn’t be bothered to even look at him twice. He was so excited about his detention. What would he do, anyway, reporting to Snape would take five minutes and he was supposed to stay at least two hours. Maybe he would send him off to Filch afterwards, but Harry sincerely hoped not, because he hadn’t done anything wrong, after all. Not that Filch cared.
The hours passed quickly and again Harry, this time paired with Hermione, did a good job on their potion. When Snape swept by, his only reaction was a short nod, but Harry and Hermione were happy. It was the best reaction they were going to get.
When the bell rang Harry packed his things like Hermione and Ron and then waved them goodbye. He could hear Parvati whispering at his staying behind but he still could not bring himself to care. After all the Daily Prophet had written about him, it was hard to annoy him.
Snape shut the door with a flick of his wand and went back to his desk. Harry followed him and leaned against a first row table. He waited for Snape to say something but he just sat and stared at him without blinking. Harry coughed. Snape cocked an eyebrow.
“So Potter, what did you and your great investigation skills find out?” he drawled.
Harry shifted. “Neville’s knotgrass is missing. I thought it could have been used in a Polyjuice-“
“Potion. My, Potter, you seem to become an able Potions student. What are your fellow students going to think?”
That you are making me recite Potions ingredients while fucking me senseless, Harry thought and blushed. Wait. Had Snape paid him a compliment? So he was an able Potions student, that surely qualified as a Snape kind of compliment. Harry didn’t know what to say. He supposed Snape didn’t really expect an answer and shrugged.
“I didn’t find out more. It was in the greenhouses. Anyone could walk in there, couldn’t they?”
Snape sighed. He didn’t seem to have expected more, though.
“Did you bring homework?” he asked and Harry’s heart leapt. He wasn’t being sent off to Filch then.
“No... should I have?” Harry asked innocently, and fiddled with his wand.
Snape sighed again. “Well, you are supposed to have a detention, what did you think? I can’t let you return to your house.”
“I could study Potions...” Harry said tentatively. He really didn’t want to go to Filch. All that talk about chains and stuff made him a bit uncomfortable.
“That would be a first, I assume.” Snape snarled and summoned several ingredients from the cupboard. “Since you are already here, you might as well make yourself useful.” He raised his wand again and a glass of black beetles came flying from his office and landed neatly on the table Harry was still leaning on.
“Crush three ounces of those beetles. Apparently Madam Pomfrey is running out of Pepperup Potion.”
Harry sat happily down and unpacked his things again. Spending time with Snape wasn’t so bad when he didn’t shout at you the whole time.
The potion took an hour to brew and another hour of stewing. In that time Harry took out his potions textbook and started to revise what they had covered in the previous lesson. And it would do him good, he supposed, if Snape’s mood was any indication of a suprise quiz.
Snape had started to correct the scrolls that had to be first-years’ homework and was swearing loudly when stumbling over particularly stupid sentences.
Harry wondered if Snape had forgotten about him. Aunt Petunia would force him to wash out his mouth with soap if he ever dared to say things like that in her house. He’d love to see her trying to force Snape to wash out his mouth though. Harry imagined Snape at the Dursley’s and sniggered. They would probably end in tiny bits. A lot of tiny bits though, what with the amount of contact surface Vernon and Dudley provided.
Snape quickly looked up from his grading and glanced at the wall clock.
“You may go.” He stated and returned to his grading without asking what Harry was sniggering about.
Harry almost resented being sent off early, but he was eager to get back to Hermione and Ron, who were waiting for him in the common room. He stuffed his book in his bag and awkwardly waited for Snape to say something, but Snape kept grading.
Harry took his bag and set off. When he opened the door, Snape looked up, watching him with a strange expression.
“You’re asking yourself the wrong questions about that... hoax, Potter.” He said quietly.
Harry didn’t know what to answer to that, but Snape was absorbed in the scrolls again.
“Goodbye then.” Harry said and left.
On the way to his common room he passed the entry to the corridor where he had supposedly snogged Snape, and started when he heard something. Harry regretted not having taken along his invisibility cloak, but he entered the corridor anyway.
When he turned around a corner, Harry froze. He felt, as if he had fallen into his own Pensieve.
Harry saw himself being pressed into a wall by Snape, or rather, somebody pretending to be Snape, for he had never seen his face as relaxed and ... full of lust as the person’s before him.
Harry kept staring as Snape slowly bent down and kissed his double on the mouth. He didn’t even think about interrupting when they kept kissing and, strangely, laughing and generally making as much noise as possible. Not that Harry minded. He was too busy trying not to drool to start thinking.
“Potter?” a familiar voice suddenly asked.
Harry jerked around, trying to hide in the shadows, but Malfoy was looking at the other Harry. He stared incredulously, much like Harry had, when he had arrived.
Snape and Harry’s impostor started at the sound and, seeing Harry and Malfoy, quickly fled in the other direction. Only then Malfoy noticed Harry and, apparently confused, ran away without turning.
Harry still stood at the same place he had been watching the kiss from. Slowly he disentangled himself from his petrification and fantasies and returned to the common room, where he immediately told Ron and Hermione what had happened.
Hermione was so thrilled at the idea of Harry making Pepper-Up Potion that she didn’t grasp the importance of what he had seen, Harry thought. Ron focussed on the important bits, but imagined them quite differently from Harry.
“Was it really awful to see?” Ron asked and screwed up his nose. Harry tried to look the other way, as Hermione suddenly seemed interested again.
“Well, you know...” Harry lied, “I tried not to look at it.”
He avoided Hermione’s inquisitive looks and hoped she wouldn’t investigate further, he was already uncomfortable with the fact that she had noticed something.
“So, what shall we do about it? Snape said, I was asking the wrong questions, but I don’t know what he means by that.” Harry went on hurriedly.
Hermione shook her head. “I’ve no idea either.”
Ron shook his head too. “No idea. You should have followed them, mate. We might ask Dean and Seamus though, they returned late, maybe they’ve seen something.”
Harry stood up but Hermione waved him down again. “They went to bed already. We’ll ask them tomorrow morning.”
Harry was glad about that. If Hermione’s interrogation went as well as last time, they’d have the culprits by the next evening.
The next morning, Seamus and Dean claimed they hadn’t seen anything. Even Hermione couldn’t extricate any information from them and made Harry promise he would tell Snape the news after lunch.
Harry was reluctant to go there, he had not mastered Occlumency and Snape was an accomplished Legilimens. He might notice the feelings Harry was so desperately hiding.
Hermione wouldn’t let him delay it though, so Harry obediently trotted down to the dungeons after lunch, determined to return as soon as possible. And he was lucky. The Potions classroom was deserted, as was the small laboratory that was attached. Harry pondered looking for Snape’s private quarters, but he didn’t know where they were and since he didn’t want to spark new gossip about them having it off in Snape’s rooms now (which would happen if he were seen by Slytherins), he returned to the common room.
When Harry climbed through the portrait hole, he saw Neville hopping around in the common room, clutching a small plant that had to be a new seedling of knotgrass, according to his shouting. Hermione watched him in sympathy, sitting in an armchair in front of the fire, a large book on her lap.
“Wasn’t there.” Harry mumbled and sat next to her. “What’s the book about?”
Hermione closed it to show Harry the title. “Ancient Runes and Their Modern Relevance.”
“It helps me think.” Hermione said. “There must be something we are missing. I just can’t point at it yet, but I know I’ve missed something.” Suddenly, she turned and looked Harry in the face.
“You like him, don’t you?” she demanded and watched his reaction closely.
The was no denying it. Harry couldn’t even claim not to know who she was talking about, it would have been laughable.
He nodded. “He treats me better than he used to do. And he is ... kind of attractive, you know.”
Hermione’s expression had softened. “It’s not as odd as you think. I’ve suspected you for quite some time.” Now she actually smiled.
Harry sighed and ran his hand through his unruly hair. “It doesn’t matter, you know. He doesn’t like me like that and anyway, I’m his student. He probably isn’t even gay.”
“You don’t know that. And you’ll be of age next summer! Don’t fret. What happens, happens.” Hermione soothed.
Harry looked at her with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Are you encouraging me to have it off with Snape?”
Hermione sputtered. “Harry! I would never- but just in case - don’t tell Ron.“
After the ‘talk’ with Hermione, Harry was relieved. He felt easier around her and Ron – who wasn’t a very good observer – but was still a bit anxious about meeting Snape. Potions wouldn’t be so bad, Harry supposed he could concentrate on the potion and not meet Snape’s eyes, but he was afraid of any more talks after class. Especially since he was bound to have one after what he had watched. The rest of the week passed quickly and soon Tuesday arrived and with it Double Potions.
Harry, Ron and Hermione arrived late again, just to spite Malfoy, who was waiting for them before every lesson to impersonate a swooning Harry, even after having seen that it could not have been him.
Snape arrived through the hallway today though, just to see Malfoy, who didn’t notice the sudden silence, kiss the air in front of himself.
“Ten points from Slytherin, Mr. Malfoy.” Snape drawled and opened the door with a flick of his wand. Quickly the students filed in.
“Yes, from my own house.” Snape answered Malfoy’s silent indignation. The Slytherins murmured angrily and someone threw a book at Malfoy’s head.
“Ten points to Slytherin for that, Mr. Zabini.” Snape said with a sneer at Malfoy and strode to front of the class.
“Today we will be preparing...”
Harry noticed that he was snickering. So sometimes Snape was funny too. Strange things were happening at Hogwarts. Maybe it had to do with Voldemort. Maybe Voldemort had accepted his inability to kill Harry and was now trying to get him expelled by snogging Snape in the corridors.
It certainly would explain why Snape was a bit off. But then, Harry’s scar would hurt and that idea didn’t sound like the typical Death Eater plan anyway.
Harry concentrated on Snape again and what he was saying. Hermione shot him a warning glance, as if saying “I know, the voice is gorgeous but the potion counts in your final grades!”. Admittedly, the voice bit was Harry’s invention, but he mentally promised to stay attentive for the remainder of the lesson.
When they were finished and everybody had packed their books and ingredients, Harry nudged his bag with one hand and it toppled over, spilling its contents on the floor. Hermione understood that he was deliberately staying behind and urged Ron out of the classroom.
When they had gone, Harry lifted his things easily with his wand and placed them in his bag again.
“I’ve seen it.” He finally said.
Snape’s eyes narrowed. “Did you see who it was? Did you follow them?”
Harry shook his head in dismay. “I... didn’t think of it.”
“So mesmerized by the look of it, Potter.” Snape sneered. “I think not. Clearly you thought using your brain would be a waste, an attitude you’ve shown again and again in my classroom.”
A hurt look crossed Harry’s face. “You wouldn’t have thought of it either! They were kissing and making all sorts of noises and-“ Harry stopped. There was no way he would tell Snape that the scene had affected him more than he had thought it would.
Close your mind, close your mind... Harry chanted in his head, so firmly that it seemed to attract Snape’s attention. He stepped around the desk and approached Harry.
“What is it that you’re trying to hide, Potter?” He snarled.
“Nothing!” Harry said helplessly, trying to concentrate on something neutral, but the problem with not thinking about something is that of course it comes to your mind when you need it least.
Harry felt his concentration slip and decided he might as well say something to confuse Snape further.
“Alright! Alright, I liked it! I liked watching it, and I forgot to follow them, because even after they had disappeared again, I couldn’t think of anything else than what it looked like when you KISSED me!” Harry shouted.
Snape didn’t seem as if he had been prepared for such an outburst. Maybe he hadn’t broken Harry’s mental walls after all. But now it was too late to take it back.
“Return to your classes.” Snape said warily. “Don’t think about it again. It doesn’t pay. You’re a deranged teenager and in a few years you will laugh about the whole matter.”
“But I-” Harry was almost disappointed by Snape’s reaction. He had as good as told Snape that he had a crush on him and his only reaction was “return to your classes”. Harry had expected reasons to come like, ‘I hate you, Potter’, or ‘I am your teacher, Harry, we mustn’t’, or even ‘What would Dumbledore say’, but no.
Harry then turned on his heel and, snatching his bag, stormed out. He didn’t see Snape returning to his desk, neither did he know that Snape remained sittin there for a long time, thinking.
On the way back to his common room, Harry passed the corridor again and wished again he had his invisibility cloak with him or his map, then he could stand guard until someone arrived. Suddenly he felt like hitting his head with something very heavy. His map.
Ron agreed to hit his head after he had told him and Hermione what they had been ignoring the past weeks. They could easily sit in the common room and watch the map to see who was meeting in that corridor to snog. And that was what they agreed to do in the evening.
Harry couldn’t wait until it was dinner but first they had to suffer History of Magic, in which Harry drifted off and dreamt about Malfoy snogging Lavender and then telling Harry that he was his only true love. When he woke, Harry felt Lavender looking at him. Maybe he had said her name while sleeping. Oh well, so now she thought he loved her too. Harry didn’t care.
She was the first to have seen the scene though. Harry felt he should ask her again what she had seen, after all he had only heard a part of her story before storming away.
After the lesson he waited for her outside the door.
“Lavender? Got a minute?” he asked with a small smile.
“Of course.” Lavender answered quickly and followed him a few steps away from the rest of the class, beaming at her friends. ‘Maybe she thinks I’m going to ask her out...’ Harry thought, then tried to concentrate on what he did want to ask. She could bear the pain.
“Lavender, what did you see... you know what – in the dungeons hallway?” Harry asked gravely.
Lavender sniggered. “I saw you leaning against a wall and Snape was throwing things around and then you started kissing. It was strange to watch, you know. Well, there were more people coming then, and they just ran off.” She shrugged. “Kind of a strange place to make out, you know.”
“*I* know.” Harry assured her. “It wasn’t me.”
“Sure.” Lavender answered. “Well, I went back to the common room then and told everybody what I had seen. That’s all.”
Disappointed, Harry realized that there wasn’t more information to gain.
“Always, Harry. Whatever you want.” She said and winked.
Sheepishly, Harry looked for his friends but turned back to her again as an afterthought.
“Why were you there in the first place? We didn’t have classes in the evening.” He shouted after her.
She looked at him, surprised. “Didn’t you know? Seamus told me to go down, he said there was something to see.”
Harry hurried up to the dormitory and rummaged in his trunk until he found his map. Quickly he tapped it with his wand and whispered “I solemnly swear that I’m up to no good!”
Slowly the letters materialized on the old parchment, and then the plan appeared. Harry scanned the page, but the corridor was still deserted. He stuffed the map in the pocket of his jeans and went down to the common room again, where Hermione and Ron were waiting. He quickly filled them in on what Lavender had said and enjoyed Ron’s outraged face when he told them that it probably was Seamus.
“Of course, he knew of the knotgrass. Neville didn’t speak of anything else for two days.” Ron said. Harry nodded.
Hermione chewed on her quill. “Do you think it has to do with your magazines? Seamus and Dean were acting so strange after they found them.”
Harry poked the map angrily. “Well, maybe they want to make fun of the Boy Who Turned Out Gay.”
Harry shot an irritated glance at Ron, who was sniggering at his last statement. Hermione only smiled softly and stilled Harry’s arm.
“They’re probably gay too. And if they aren’t, they’re freaking homophobes and you shouldn’t pay attention to them.”
“Well, I’ve got to, now, haven’t I?” Harry said and looked down at the map. A tiny spot labelled “Seamus Finnegan” was heading towards the dungeons. Shortly behind followed Dean.
Harry stood up.
“What are you going to do to them?” Hermione asked worriedly.
Harry shrugged. “I’ll see. I could turn Seamus into something really nasty. Or, even better, I'll hand him over to Snape. You wait here and look where they’re going.”
He grabbed his wand and ran.
When he arrived at the dungeons a little later, he stopped a few feet before the corridor and hid in an alcove in the wall. A few seconds later, he heard footsteps and poked his head slowly out. ‘Snape’ had arrived too. He had come from the direction of the Great Hall, not from the dungeons, which proved that Seamus apparently didn’t worry too much about his cover being blown. The robes he was wearing looked very “snape-ish” though, and so did the sneer. Months of practice, Harry thought with rancour and stepped out of his alcove, directly in front of Seamus. If he wanted to embarrass Harry because of his being gay, he could have a gay Harry.
“Potter?” Seamus asked unconvincingly.
“Yeah, I’m here.” Harry mocked him. “I’ve been looking forwards to this since last time.” He approached Seamus with a seductive smile.
“Potter! What are you doing!” Seamus snarled again. Apparently he was not that gay. Seamus slowly walked backwards as Harry approached him.
“Ooh, you know, I couldn’t think of anything else but you since last time. The feel of your lips on mine, the taste of your tongue. You make me crazy.”
Seamus had arrived at the wall behind him and looked distinctly uneasy. “Look, Potter, it’s not what you think it is.”
“Oh, but I think it is,” Harry said as he stepped closer, with only a few inches between him and Seamus. He crossed the space and pressed himself into Seamus unwilling arms, rubbing his groin against Seamus’.
“I think you want me and I definitely need you too.” Harry teased and then brought his lips to Seamus. He supposed this was his only chance ever to kiss Snape’s lips, and even though it wasn’t him, to Harry it meant something.
The kiss was softer than Harry had expected and less sloppy than those he had experienced before. Seamus pulled him close with Snape’s strong arms and Harry was almost sorry that this was bound to end sometime soon. But he was determined to push Seamus as far as he would go.
“Please, take me.” He whispered, half teasing, half sad because this scene was a farce of his dreams.
And suddenly, after he had said it, everything seemed very, very wrong. Seamus didn’t pull away and call him a disgusting poof. He pushed Harry against the wall and snarled “If you insist.”
Up in the common room, Ron and Hermione stared, dumbfounded, at the map which was saying
‘Harry Potter and Severus Snape, kissing’.
“Oh my god-“ was everything Harry could say in realization as Snape pushed him against the wall and kissed him fiercely. Snape’s hands were roaming everywhere on his body, dissolving Harry’s brains and fuelling his lust. Neither of them cared that they were in a public corridor when they opened each other’s clothes. Harry ran his hands over the lean torso he had found beneath three layers of cloth. He could feel scars that ran down Snape’s sides. When his hands arrived at his trousers, Snape stilled his hands and stopped.
“We should never have done this.” Snape whispered and backed away.
Harry pouted. They hadn’t really done anything yet, had they? He didn’t want to stop yet.
“We could always pretend we’re our impostors...” Harry began.
Snape shot him an ironic glance. “Yes, that would fool the headmaster.”
“I could be dead tomorrow...” Harry offered.
Snape obviously didn’t know what to answer to that. Harry decided to keep talking, he didn’t want Snape to start rational thinking again.
“And so could you. We don’t have time to wait until I’ve finished Hogwarts. I want you. Please,” he was whispering now, “take me to your bed.”
He could almost see the demons fighting in Snape, so he stepped closer and took his hand. “Just this one night.”
“Damn.” Snape cursed softly. Then his hand tightened over Harry’s. “This way.”
Snape’s rooms were large and cozy. A fire was crackling happily in the fireplace, there were inordinate amounts of books standing in shelves and Harry spotted a glass case with lots of bottles.
Snape closed the door behind him and waved his wand a few times. It looked like he was trying to weave a net over the door. Harry supposed that these were his wards.
Finally Snape took Harry’s hand and led him to his bedroom. It was filled by a large four-poster bed and nothing else. Harry sat down and crawled up until he was lying in the middle of it, on his back. He knew what he must look like. His hair was even more messed up than usual, his lips were red and swollen from kissing and his cheeks burned.
Snape stared at him for a long time. Then he plucked the glasses off Harry’s face and joined him on the bed. Harry started ripping his clothes off. Snape made their clothes vanish with a flick of his wand. In the soft candlelight Snape must have conjured upon entering, Harry looked at his body. He was lean and muscular and pale, which was not surprising, considering his armour of clothes. There were also silver scars, Harry saw, all over his body, but most of them were old and faded.
A faint trail of hair divided Snape’s torso and thickened into a thatch of black hair around his cock.
Harry grabbed it and stroked, looking directly into Snape’s eyes.
Snape was also watching him, his hands started stroking Harry’s hair, his neck and his belly. Harry arched up into his touch, which elicited a feral grin from Snape. He grabbed his wand and softly put Harry’s hands above his head, fixing them to the headboard with a whispered word.
Harry missed the feel of Snape’s cock beneath his hands but shivered in anticipation of what Snape would do to him. First, Snape or Severus, as he should call him now, just looked at him with gleaming eyes. Then he bent down to Harry’s head as if to whisper into his ear but instead he licked, bit and kissed a trail down his neck. Harry hadn’t known his neck was that sensitive. Every little kiss and bite elicited chills down his spine and moans from his throat. He didn’t hold those back, he knew Snape would like it, just as Snape would know that he didn’t need to handle him with care.
Snape grazed his fingernails down Harry’s sides and on the inside of his thighs. Harry’s cock was already hard, demanding Snape’s attention but he seemed intent on savouring the moment and so was Harry. By the time Snape was finished with his neck he proceeded down to Harry’s nipples and all Harry could do was try to move his body upwards, to create some friction, grind their bodys together and sighed in relief when Snape sank his body down on his’, effectively pinning him down on the bed. He returned to kissing Harry on the mouth and, when Harry ground up again, pinched one nipple just hard enough to make Harry moan and cry out at the same time.
So he did it again. And was rewarded with the other nipple and a soft blow on his upper thigh.
“Please, Severus...” Harry sighed, not sure what he was asking for. Snape loosened his wrists, helped him turn on his stomach and fastened them again.
He helped Harry up on his knees and summoned a jar from the living room, but didn’t open it yet. Instead, Harry felt his tongue, hot and wet on his ass, gliding down to his cleft.
“Oh yes, more... don’t stop...please!” Harry was moaning and wondered if he was hyperventilating. Nothing had ever felt this good and the fact that he was completely at Snape’s mercy aroused him even more.
Snapes tonge was at his entrance now, circling it and probing deeper, and he grabbed Harry’s cock to stroke it in time with the thrusts of his tongue. Then he pulled away and Harry heard the jar being opened and felt slick fingers stroking his cock and his ass and pushing into him.
Snape stretched him until three fingers fit into him and then lifted the bonds again. Harry rolled over onto his back and pulled Snape down again, kissing him passionately, desperately banning the thought that this might be the only time he would experience this.
Eventually, Snape pushed him back and resumed stroking Harry’s cock while he slathered his own with the contents of the jar and slowly pushed into him, all the while staring into Harry’s eyes. Harry obediently bore down, as he had heard this made the process easier but it was still painful.
It wasn’t unbearable though; the pain quickly faded and Harry started moaning again when Snape slowly pressed deeper and deeper, pulling out and driving in again, hitting a sweet spot Harry didn’t know he had.
They didn’t last long after that. When he felt he was going to come, Harry pulled Snape’s neck to his and kissed him again, then softly hissed ‘Severusss’ as the friction on both his cock and in his ass became to much and pleasure overtook him and he shook and spurted and sweated and fell back onto the mattress. Snape seemed to be on the verge until Harry’s ass contracted, then he too came, filling Harry with hot and wet seed.
Harry opened his eyes just in time to see him tremble and form a quiet ‘Oh’ with his mouth. Then he sank down next to Harry, eyes closed and panting heavily.
After a few moments Snape got up and left the room through another door. Harry hoped he didn’t mean for him to get dressed and let himself out. It would fit his bastard personality but Harry knew him better now. Or so he thought.
But Snape returned with a warm, wet washcloth, and cleaned Harry and himself up in comfortable silence.
”Can I stay tonight?” Harry suddenly blurted out.
Snape looked taken aback. “If you want... you’re welcome.”
He cleaned the bed with a flick of his wand and started to put on some trousers and a shirt. Only then Harry noticed the Dark Mark. It was faded and, strangely, didn’t mean anything to Harry.
Harry also dressed into shirt and jeans and followed Snape, who had disappeared into the living room.
“I’ve ordered some food from the kitchens.” Snape said and turned to his glass cabinet. “What are you drinking?”
Harry sat on the couch and noticed that he had somewhere lost his glasses. “Whatever you’re drinking.” He replied.
Snape brought two glasses and a bottle of Scotch. He sat beside Harry and handed him a filled glass. “Might as well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb.” He said and smiled. Snape actually smiled. A warm feeling pooled in Harry’s stomach. He reached out and, almost shyly, pushed a strand of hair out of Snape’s face.
Snape cupped his face with one hand and kissed him lightly on his lips. Harry tasted a faint trace of whiskey on his lips and wondered if it was responsible for his feeling so dizzy.
Then the food appeared and of course the house elves had overdone it again, so they sat and ate once more in comfortable silence.
When they were finished, they kept sitting in front of the fire and Harry asked Snape irrelevant questions about his books, miscellaneous potions and spells. The conversation never left the bounds of small talk, since neither wanted to worry on this evening. Everything was light and perfect and when they agreed to go to bed, Harry snuggled deeply into Snape’s embrace.
The next morning was not quiet like the evening before. They woke late and Harry was in a hurry to get to breakfast. Snape walked him to his door and they shared one beautiful kiss before Harry turned and ran towards the Great Hall.
When he arrived at the table, he squeezed in between Ron and Hermione who were already finished and stared at him with open mouthes. For a minute Harry wondered why they were acting so strange but suddenly it occurred to him. The map.
Ron, of course was yelling all the time that he had wanted to rescue Harry when he had seen what had been happening and it took several whispered assurances that all that Harry had done, he had done willingly. Hermione told Harry that she had closed the map when she had seen them arriving in Snape’s quarters.
“It seemed tactless to watch, but I was tempted since I didn’t know what was happening. He could have kidnapped you. You should have sent a note.” She said snappily and blushed.
“Thank you.” Harry replied. “And I’m sorry, but this was my only chance.”
Ron stared at Harry for a long time, then shook his head and mumbled something about not ever wanting to know.
Harry clapped him on his back. “Thanks for your understanding.”
Then he stuffed another piece of toast into his mouth and stood. “I need to tawh te Dummeth-eerr.” He said determinedly, and walked off, towards Dumbledore’s office.
Harry met Dumbledore in front of his office, apparently returning from breakfast and joined him for a cup of tea.
Over tea Harry explained what had happened the day before and that it had been his wish, if not to say his blackmailing that had made Snape do what he did.
Dumbledore watched his explanations with a benign smile and told Harry in the end that he had always been a special case, just as Snape. They were given absolution and in turn, Harry gave the promise that they would keep it a secret and that they would not repeat it again for as long as Harry was an underage student at the school.
“And when I’m of age?” Harry asked cheekily.
“Then we’ll see further.” Dumbledore answered, and his smile wasn’t fading.
Harry thanked him and went on his way. When opening the door, he turned again. “Is there a possibility that students can spend some time at Hogwarts in summer?” he asked anxiously.
“Well, there is.” Dumbledore answered gravely. “But I must warn you. You would then be merely a visitor, a guest so to speak. And the teachers would not feel responsible for your education, nor for whatever you were up to.” He gave an enormous twinkle. Harry grinned broadly. He knew he still needed to convince Snape that they were made for each other. But maybe Severus didn’t need that much convincing anymore.
“Thank you, Professor.” He said and was off.
Later in that week Seamus and Dean received a gift from a friendly donator who felt obliged to thank them for sparking his interest. It was a bottle of whiskey and a knotgrass plant. In the next week they were blackmailed by Hermione Granger, top of their class, to stop playing Harry and Snape or she would spell their balls to fall off. That was her secret, you see. Simple blackmailing.
In the future, Seamus and Dean settled for impersonating Neville snogging knotgrass. Harry visited Snape often, and although they didn’t touch each other found a deep relationship that went beyond that. Ron accepted the fact that Harry was in love with Snape but claimed that Harry should demand house points for sexual favours, so they all had benefited from their relationship.
All in all it promised to become a beautiful summer, especially for Harry.
He had already informed the house elves of his stay in Hogwarts and that no, he didn’t need a room. He had already found room in someone’s heart.