|snarryswapmod (snarryswapmod) wrote in snarry_swap,|
@ 2007-01-03 18:43:00
|Entry tags:||alisanne, creation: fic, rated: nc-17|
Happy Daft Day dracofiend!
Title: 'Til Death Do We Part
Warnings: Angst, dark themes.
Prompt/Summary: Despite being blinded by a tragic accident, Severus finally manages to see the truth, but is it too late?
Author's Note: Special thanks to eeyore9990 and verdenia for beta reading this story for me. Any mistakes are mine. Cheers, dracofiend!
'Til Death Do We Part
“Are you awake?”
The voice was soft, and Severus turned towards it instinctively. He opened his mouth to speak, but only a croak emerged.
“Here, have some water,” the voice said, and Severus opened his mouth when a cup was pressed to it. A few swallows of cool water made his throat feel less as if it were about to spontaneously catch fire.
“Where...?” he began, only to start coughing.
“Relax. You're in the hospital. Everything's fine.”
Fine? Severus would have laughed if it wouldn't have hurt so much. He might not know much, but he knew he was far from fine.
“Listen to her, Severus,” a new voice said, and this time Severus opened his eyes wide. It made absolutely no difference at all.
“You're blind, yes,” Harry said. “Does anything hurt?”
Severus blinked. How was he supposed to answer that? “My throat...” he began.
“The Pain Potion should start to work in a moment,” the other voice said. “Relax and let it do its work.”
“Why am I blind?” he asked, starting to slur his words as the potion took effect.
“There was an accident, Severus. A terrible accident.”
Severus sighed as sleep took him.
“But, I don't understand,” Severus repeated. “Making Veritaserum is not that dangerous. Tedious, yes, but not dangerous.”
From the rustle of paper, he knew Harry was still there and he turned towards his presumed position.
“I don't know exactly what you were making, Severus,” Harry said. “All I know is what you said you were working on. I left you to finish, and the next thing I knew, there was an explosion. By the time I got there, you were unconscious. Seems pretty dangerous to me.”
Severus frowned. Something wasn't right. “This is very perplexing, and impossible. How am I to brew this way?”
The touch of Harry's hand was soothing. “I'll take care of you, Severus. I vowed to do so when we bonded, and I'm keeping my vow.”
“Hush. They said I can take you home today, Severus. They've done all they can for you here. Won't you like that?”
“I cannot remember anything!” Severus hated the edge of panic in his voice. “I don't know if I'm ready to leave...”
“The healer said you'd be nervous about this,” Harry said, sitting next to him. Severus felt tentative arms encircle him, and he relaxed into them slightly. “Won't you come home with me? I miss you so much.”
“I wish I could remember...”
“I know, love. And I wish you could remember, too. The healer thinks that when you're in familiar surroundings the memories might come back, though.”
Severus sighed again. Every mind healer on staff at St. Mungo's had tried to extract his memories, but they seemed unreachable. It was Harry who had told him of their bonding, about their home, and how happy they were together. Severus would never have fathomed it had not everyone on the staff corroborated the story. Apparently their bonding ceremony had been very public. As Harry had filled in the pieces, though, Severus'd had snippets of memory return. Enough to know that it was the truth. It was still hard to believe, however.
“I think it will help you to be home. Plus, don't you want to sleep in our bed?” Harry asked, lips brushing his hair.
Severus closed his eyes and considered it. At the very least it would get him out of this place with its sterile smell of medicinal potions, he supposed. “Yes, I suppose I would,” he said.
There was a quick inhalation of breath, and the brush of lips against his temple, and then he heard footsteps as Harry walked away to make the arrangements.
Severus wondered if it would make such a difference which bed he lay in all day.
“You're not sleeping well, Severus. And you could stand to eat better.”
“You sound like Minerva used to,” Severus muttered.
Harry sighed. “You'll be exhausted if you don't sleep, and you won't regain your strength if you don't eat. You're already too thin. You need to gain some weight.”
Severus shook his head. “What have I to regain my strength for?” he asked bitterly. “I don't do anything. And how can I sleep when I can't see if it's day or night?”
There was silence, then he could feel the bed dip as Harry resettled himself.
“There are things we could do,” Harry said suggestively.
Severus shrugged. He knew where this was going. Harry had been hinting that he wanted to resume conjugal relations for at least a week, but Severus had wanted healer clearance, which they had gotten that day. That didn't take long...
“What, have you forgotten that I like a bit of padding?” Harry continued teasingly, his hand cupping Severus intimately.
Severus gasped as Harry's cool hand found his half hard cock. “If you don't eat,” he whispered against Severus' lips as his hand did a slow glide, “then you'll be too tired to let me fuck you. You know how energetic I like it....”
Arching into the pleasure, Severus moaned. A whispered spell left him naked, and as Harry settled over him and quickly prepared him before pushing in deep, he grunted. It hurt; Severus wondered if he'd bottomed a lot previously.
Harry was tender, waiting until Severus had adjusted to the intrusion before starting to thrust. Severus felt utterly helpless. His left leg was in the air and he was unable to see Harry as they made love, only having the feel of Harry pushing into him and the sounds of the bed creaking to ground him.
“Missed this so much,” Harry gasped against Severus' mouth, and Severus simply shuddered and hung on. How could he have forgotten this?
The rush of blood was overwhelming in his ears as with a guttural moan, Severus came, his orgasm pulling Harry with him.
Harry stilled and keened as he came inside Severus.
Moments later, they were in danger of being welded together by Severus' cooling stickiness, until Harry, chuckling lightly, performed a simple cleaning spell on them.
“Welcome home, Severus,” he whispered before his breathing went regular.
Severus shifted to a slightly more comfortable position before falling asleep, Harry's arms draped possessively over him.
“Where are you going, Severus?”
Severus had never felt particularly afraid of his husband before, but the look on Harry's face made him freeze. Surely Harry didn't know?
“Out. I have to pick up some potions ingredients.”
He could feel Harry's eyes on him until he was out of sight of the cottage. Severus heaved a sigh of relief and reveled in what little freedom he had as he prepared to Apparate. Who knew that Harry would turn into such a controlling partner?
Severus awoke with a start. For a moment he lay there, wondering what had disturbed him so much about his dream. It was quickly slipping away, and even as he tried to retain it, the memories dissipated. But... Harry had been so suspicious... Severus wondered why.
“You're awake,” Harry said, and Severus turned his head in the general direction of his voice. “Did you sleep well?”
Severus nodded. He opened his mouth to tell Harry about his dream, but some instinct stopped him. “I... slept quite well, thank you. I think the sex actually helped.”
A knowing chuckle right next to him made him start.
“You sound surprised, but you shouldn't be. We had a great sex life, and it looks like we will again.”
The clink of a dish on a table made Severus sit up.
“I'd have woken you, but you looked so relaxed when I left here earlier, that I didn't have the heart to wake you,” Harry continued. “I made you some lunch, since you'll need to keep your strength up. Looks like I'm going to have to fuck you to sleep every night. Lucky me.”
Severus rolled his eyes.
“When you do that, it's like having the old you back,” Harry whispered. Soft lips pressed to his, and Severus opened his mouth, kissing back for a long moment.
“Well,” Harry said as he pulled back, his reluctance obvious, “before we get too distracted, how about some lunch?”
For the first time since getting there, Severus ate his entire portion, spurred on by Harry's encouragement. He'd planned on refusing dessert, but when Harry had settled his mouth over his cock and proceeded to have his dessert, it had provided added incentive to Severus. They shared the rich chocolate mousse afterwards, and Severus actually felt happy as Harry curled up next to him.
He was thrusting roughly into someone and the squeezing around his cock was divine. Severus howled as muscles clenched around his cock, keening as he emptied himself into the willing body beneath him.
He opened his eyes and gazed into warm amber.
Severus closed his eyes and leaning down, pressed his mouth to the tender junction between his lover's jaw and neck, sucking lightly.
“Likewise,” he whispered.
“We have to tell him, Severus.”
Severus nodded. He knew that. He couldn't keep up the charade any longer...
Severus sat up abruptly.
“What's wrong?” Harry asked from beside him, voice rough with sleep.
“What time is it?” Severus asked.
“Tempus. It's... Merlin, Severus, it's three in the morning. Were you dreaming?”
Severus nodded, then answered, realizing that it was probably dark and Harry likely couldn't see him.
“Was it a good dream?” Harry asked, shifting into a sitting position. “Are you regaining your memories?”
“It was... jumbled,” Severus said, massaging his temples with his fingers.
He gasped when Harry's hand grasped his cock, which was hard. “Guess it was good, though,” Harry murmured. “I suppose I ought to take care of that.”
Severus let himself be lain back down, and as Harry took his time and aroused him to fever pitch, then fucked him slowly and tenderly, he wondered why, even with that much care, this didn't feel quite as good as it had in his dream.
When he came, he bit his lip and closed his eyes, his breath shuddering from him.
Harry pressed a kiss to his shoulder, and after cleaning them up, spooned behind him, falling asleep quickly.
Severus wondered how long it would be before he gasped the wrong name when he came.
“Are you sure it's all right if I go out, Severus?” Harry asked.
Severus rolled his eyes. “It's fine,” he said. “I don't expect you to stay home with me all the time, Harry. You've left me with enough food and drink within reach for ten people, plus, that infernal house-elf is here.”
Severus felt the press of lips and then heard the rustle of robes.
“I'll be back before you know it,” Harry said. “Call Dobby if you need anything.”
“Take your time, Harry,” he said. “You deserve a day off.”
A blast of warmth signaling the activation of the Floo hit him in the face, and the room went silent.
Severus breathed a sigh of relief. Harry was quite attentive, but lately he'd been almost too caring. Severus yet again fought down the sensation of being smothered that assailed him lately.
It's just that he's never had anyone to call his own. His relatives hardly count as family. I'm all he has.
He reached out for his teacup and took a sip before tapping the book with his wand. A voice began to read aloud, and Severus felt a spark of guilt go through him for his traitorous thoughts concerning Harry. He'd been thoughtful enough to set up this Read Aloud Charm on all the books, thus allowing Severus access to them. That alone was quite a magical feat.
The Floo activated, and Severus sighed. It hadn't seemed like nearly long enough...
“That was fast,” he said.
“Who is it? Who's there?” Severus asked, clutching his wand.
“You don't recognize me?” the deep voice asked.
Severus blinked. “Lupin?” he said tentatively.
A bitter chuckle. “You sound as if you're guessing,” he said. “And why won't you look me in the eyes, Severus? Don't want to see how you hurt me?”
Severus' eyes widened. “I'm blind, you moron,” he said. “I can't look you in the eyes.”
“You're... oh Merlin.”
A weight settled in his lap, and Severus reached out to touch, encountering hair that his fingers recognized from his dreams. “Lupin, what in Hades' name is happening? Why are you here? And why... Oh bollocks, why do I dream about you?”
“Severus, how are you blind? What happened? You were supposed to meet me at the International Apparition point and you never showed up. I went to Spinner's End, but some other people are living there now. When did you sell it? How could you? It was... it was our place.”
Severus' mouth opened and closed. “I do not know what you are referring to, Lupin. You're implying that we... we were lovers?”
Lupin nodded, and Severus felt the motion against his hand. “You realized your feelings for me last year. We met at that Wolfsbane conference and hit it off. You and Harry had been... having trouble. We... gods, I can't believe you've forgotten, we slept together and after a few months of sneaking around, you decided that we should run away together. That last day we were to meet, I didn't want to let you go home, but you insisted, saying something about owing Harry... and then you never came back!”
Severus sat, shocked, absorbing Lupin's... Remus' words. He didn't know what to believe now, but something about Lupin's words rang true. “Can you show me?” he asked, voice low, dangerous.
“Do you think Legilimency will work if you're blind?”
Severus considered. “I have no idea,” he said, “but it's worth a try.”
Severus felt Remus shifting in front of him, and then fingers were at his temples. “I'm right in front of you,” he whispered. “Staring straight into your eyes.”
“Legilimens,” Severus said, and he was flying...
Images formed in front of his eyes and, for the first time in week, he could see! He fought down his elation and looked at the memories presented.
A shaft of heat went through him when he saw two bodies entwined on a bed, Remus' brown hair mingling with his black as they made slow sensual love to each other.
He saw them as they planned to leave, Severus' face regretful, yet set, as he told Remus that he and Harry were simply not compatible.
He was leaving, and Remus was frantically packing his meager belongings so that they could escape...
Severus cried out as his vision was cruelly ripped from him, and he fell back into darkness.
“Remus,” he gasped. “What happened?”
Silence met his question, and Severus put his hand up to rub at his aching head.
“Remus?” he tried again.
“He can't answer you. I Stupefied him.”
Harry's voice was soft, calm, so why did Severus feel a shaft of fear pierce him? “Harry...”
“Oh, so now you can say my name?” Harry asked, his voice a bit too quiet. “Took you long enough to stop calling the name of your beastly lover just now.”
“Harry, what is going on?”
Harry laughed, and it had enough of an edge of madness to it that Severus cringed. “I should be asking you that, Severus,” he said. “I go out for the first time since bringing you back from the hospital, and what do I find when I return? You embracing another man.”
“At least now I know who you were cheating on me with,” Harry continued.
Severus froze. “What? I was... You knew I was cheating on you?”
“Before?” Harry laughed. “Yes, of course I knew. How could I not? You came home smelling of him sometimes. And then, that last day, when you came and told me that you were leaving with him... Well, I couldn't have that, could I?”
“Oh, Harry... What did you do?”
Severus could almost hear the smile in Harry's voice as he replied. “Why, I stopped you, of course. I Obliviated you, only I was so angry that I guess it was too powerful and you... well, you ended up blind. I really thought I'd eradicated all memories of the other man, but since I didn't know who it was, I evidently I didn't do it quite right. I'll know better this time.”
“Harry, no. You can't...”
“Don't. Tell. Me. What. I. Can't. Do,” Harry bit out, his voice cold. “We took vows, and you broke them. I am within my rights to fix it, so I will.”
“What about Remus?”
“Remus? Well, he's just a werewolf. And he has this tendency to 'forget' to take his Wolfsbane. It's a shame that he came here and attacked us, don't you think? I imagine Azkaban will serve as an adequate place to prevent him from attacking us again.”
“Harry, this isn't right. You need to let Remus go, and you need to get some help...”
“Severus. I'm really sorry to do this, but it has to be this way. We took vows and we're supposed to be together forever. Know that I love you, and you love me.”
The sound of a newspaper rustling woke Severus up.
“Harry?” he croaked.
“Right here, love.”
A cool hand pressed to his forehead and a cup was placed to his lips. He drank gratefully.
“Are you feeling better?”
“As well as I deserve to feel,” Severus groaned. “I cannot believe that I was foolish enough to try to brew blind.”
Harry pressed a kiss to his hair. “I knew you were depressed and I left you alone. It's partly my fault. I'm never doing that again.”
A door opened, and Severus turned his head towards it.
“Time for the morning potions,” the voice of the healer said as she bustled in.
A vial was pressed into his hand, and Severus tipped it back immediately.
“Want me to read to you while we wait for the potion to work?” Harry asked, and Severus, muscles already relaxing, nodded.
“This is the front page article in the Prophet this morning. 'Known werewolf Remus Lupin was taken into custody this week, after attacking the Boy Who Lived and his bondmate, war hero, Severus Snape in their home. Mister Lupin, who has a history of such attacks dating back to his days as a student and professor at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry....'”
Severus, almost asleep, wondered at the feeling of overwhelming hopelessness that enveloped him as he listened to Harry's recitation. Why would bad news about Lupin upset him? Resolving to ask Harry about it later, he allowed slumber to claim him.