Entry tags:

fic, post-dh: ewe, rated: nc-17

Yule Gifts (1/2), for gingertart50
Title:Yule Gifts (1/2)
Author: lilyseyes
Giftee: gingertart50
Word Count: 11,000ish
Rating: NC-17/Adult
Pairing: HP/SS
Disclaimer: JKR owns the Potterverse – I just play in it. No money is made from this amateur work.
Highlight for Warnings: *First time, Virgin!Harry, fellatio, rimming*
Betas: The absolute best! Really!
Summary The approaching holidays have Harry pondering the turns his life has taken four years after defeating Voldemort and a desire to start his own traditions.



“Teddy!”

Harry Potter sighed as he surveyed what used to be a neat drawing room but now looked like a room-sized toy box. He could heard his four year-old-godson pounding down the stairs from his room The little boy was such a whirlwind of energy that it tired Harry just to watch him. Yet, some allowances had to be made for the child who had lost so much in such a short period of time - first the deaths of his parents and then his grandmother’s illness. The child had been shuttled between households until Molly Weasley had fire-called Harry to fill him in on the situation. It had taken less time to gain guardianship of the little boy than it had to convince Kingsley Shacklebolt that he was serious about resigning from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.

Even though Harry had been active in the little boy’s life - much to Ginny’s dismay - it was an entirely a different matter to be the parent. He had quickly learned that the sweets he’d always enjoyed giving Teddy actually turned him into a twitchy bundle of energy and giving too many toys only resulted in a cluttered house. Most frustrating had been the switch from beloved godfather to disciplinarian. Teddy had been rather vocal in his disapproval of the new role. The sweet toddler Harry had known had become a little monster. Ginny’s patience had been stretched to the breaking point quickly, culminating in a disastrous dinner.

The resulting row had sent Ginny back to the Montrose Magpies training camp in high temper. She had thrown at him the engagement ring he’d given her three years before, coldly telling Harry he’d chosen Teddy over her. Already the star Seeker of the league, Ginny had set her sights on becoming the primary seeker of the British Quidditch team. It was an ambitious goal for anyone, but Ginny had counted on her association with Harry to attain it for her, even though she knew how he felt about trading on his fame. Ginny had flung all this at him along with the ring and a list of people, male and female, she’d had sex with starting in her third year at Hogwarts. Harry wasn’t surprised the next morning to see the picture in the Daily Prophet of Ginny in a compromising position with team captain Ian MacFarland.

Heat suffused his face as Harry recalled some of the names, including most of his year as well as her own on that list. Pretty much everyone except Harry and her own brothers had had a taste of Ginny. She had also ridiculed Harry’s insistence that they wait until they were married to have sex. Harry hadn’t said a word during her tirade, stunned to think he’d been so wrong about his innocent Ginny. He was even more ashamed at his own lack of response every time she had tried to go further than Harry had been comfortable with. Ginny had cruelly reminded him of his lack of arousal even around Fleur and her sister, calling him asexual as well as a prude.

“I’m ready, Harry.”

The sandy-haired boy fairly vibrated with energy, even though his heart-shaped face and dark eyes had a rebellious set to them this afternoon. Molly Weasley had insisted that Teddy still spend this afternoon at the Burrow baking Christmas cookies and the youngster was less than enthusiastic about it. With Arthur working long hours as Kingsley Shacklebolt’s personal assistant, a lonely Molly had insisted the Burrow become the gathering point for the next generation on Saturday afternoons. Today was especially important to Harry as he had an appointment that afternoon that he needed to focus on.

Harry crouched down, fingers automatically re-buttoning the front of his godson’s shirt.
“You’ll have a good time at Auntie Molly’s, Teddy,” Harry assured him. “Victoire will be there and Ginny went back to her team last week, so it will just be the three of you.”

Teddy brightened immediately and guilt as well as anger ate at Harry. He knew Ginny hadn’t been very patient with the child, but he suspected she had taken her dissatisfaction with their situation out on Teddy.

Picking up his godson, Harry threw a handful of Floo powder into the fireplace, enunciating carefully. His Flooing misadventures were legendary among his friends, but Harry was always careful when he had Teddy with him. It wouldn’t do to end up in an unfamiliar home with a small child in his arms. The twirling seemed to take forever and Harry remembered why he Apparated everywhere he could, even as they landed in the right grate.

The awkwardness Harry felt was brushed aside as Molly Weasley swept both him and Teddy into a hug as soon as they stepped into her kitchen. Teddy squirmed and squealed, but Harry leaned into the warmth that Molly had always generously shared with him. A soft kiss to his cheek told him that she was not going to hold the broken engagement against him and Harry heaved a sigh of relief. Molly, unlike the males in the family, seemed to recognize that her daughter had caused Harry a great deal of pain, even though they had never discussed it. Molly had always been the closest thing Harry had to a maternal influence and she was the only one he had to confide in about Teddy.

“Off with you now, Harry.” Molly shooed him out the kitchen door as Teddy tore off to find Bill and Fleur’s daughter. “Give him my best wishes.”

Harry smiled and Apparated to Hogsmeade. It was significantly colder in Scotland and he set off at a brisk walk to keep warm. The Christmas hols had started yesterday for the students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The castle would be empty as the current Headmaster insisted every student spend the Yule celebration at home. It had been a move that had initially angered Harry until he learned that any family that insisted their child stay at school received a surprise visit from Headmaster Severus Snape. The visits had uncovered several cases of less than adequate conditions in those homes which were immediately addressed by the Ministry of Magic. Harry still chuckled each time he imagined the formidable wizard showing up on the Dursleys’ doorstep when he was a first year.

Severus Snape had turned out to be a dedicated Headmaster, although his manner and style was almost the polar opposite of Albus Dumbledore’s. In the years since the fall of Voldemort, the school had been restored to its former glory as the primary wizarding School in Europe. Harry himself had stood before the Wizengamot to give testimony to Snape’s true role in the war against the evil wizard. He often remembered the moment after the last Death Eater had fallen when Severus Snape staggered into the Great Hall. Harry’s anger had flared, believing that he’d been further manipulated, before relief flooded him that his mother’s best friend had somehow survived. In speaking with Snape it became clear that had they not both believed he was dying, Snape would never have been able to give up his memories and Harry would never have had the courage to stand before Voldemort, facing his own death. A final manipulation by Albus Dumbledore, Harry believed.

They had remained cordial since, Harry having been invited to several functions at the school since he had sat his NEWT exams the spring after the battle. Now, Harry needed the Potions master’s help. It turned out that part of Teddy’s inability to sit still came from a condition rarely seen in the wizarding world, a genetic condition that was passed down in the Tonks bloodline. It seemed that Teddy’s magic stimulated his brain in an area that caused him to be easily excited and distracted. Although there was a potion-based treatment, it wasn’t common and could be difficult to make. While the healer actually thought Teddy would eventually outgrow the condition as his magic matured, it could cause him problems during his formative years.

Harry was hoping that Professor Snape would know where to find an accurate recipe for the potion and give him some helpful hints on brewing it. A smile curved his lips as Harry remembered his beloved Half-Blood Prince and the textbook that had showed him Potions could be interesting and challenging. The smile grew broader when he remembered Hermione’s words from their sixth year, and Harry had to wonder if he would have developed a crush on his Prince if he’d known it was Snape. The image of raven hair and intense dark eyes arose in his mind so forcefully that Harry stumbled on a patch of ice. Snape had always provoked strong feelings in Harry, but now he wasn’t sure whether the intense hatred had masked another, deeper feeling. Ginny had once accused him of being more attracted to MacFarland than he was to her, but Harry had laughed at her. He shook his head, this was a hell of a time to think of that!

The winged boars stood silent guard over the gates seemed to welcome Harry as he passed through. The sight of the castle looming large in front of him brought back a flood of memories, some Harry had worked hard to bury and others he would always cherish. This place had been so instrumental in the course his life had taken, shaping his life since before he was born. The trials and triumphs that had occurred behind the towering stone walls in the years he was here continued to amaze him.

The great oak doors opened at his approach, and Harry took it as a welcoming gesture. He stepped into the Entrance Hall, his stomach filled with butterflies as the Headmaster descended the marble steps. Severus Snape moved gracefully, the black robes that were so much a part of his persona billowed around him. Harry hesitated. At forty-one, the former spy had benefited from the years of peace, his face having lost the austere expression and his sparse frame had gained muscle. Harry was stunned by the feeling of arousal that slammed through him.

“Mr. Potter, to what do I owe this unexpected visit?”

With effort, Harry shook off the strange thoughts and stepped forward to meet his former nemesis. A jolt of electricity ran up his arm as Harry took the extended hand, dropping it quickly. His eyes darted up to see Snape’s expression close. With a sweep of his arm, the Headmaster indicated that they should walk towards his office and Harry felt relieved. He took a deep breath, hoping it would calm his suddenly jittery nerves. It was a sensation Harry hadn’t felt since he had gathered the courage to ask Cho Chang to the Yule Ball in his fourth year.

“I am afraid I need to ask for your expertise, Professor,” Harry began his rehearsed appeal, pulling the piece of parchment that had the potion’s name on it from his pocket.

“I believe you are far enough removed from your school days to call me Severus, Harry.”

Harry looked up in surprise, discomfited to see the dark eyes watching his expression. “Sev…Severus, yes, thank you, sir…” Harry again tried to pull his thoughts back together. “I have a potion that I’d like your advice on, as they say it’s complicated.”

“Yes,” Snape said with an amused sniff, “I do remember your days in my class, Harry.”

One moment they were walking as Snape took the scrap from his fingers and the next, Harry was slammed against the stone wall of the corridor, an outraged former Death Eater pressing against him.

“What in the bloody hell are you playing at, Potter?” Snape snarled, spittle spraying Harry’s face. “There are other ways of satisfaction if your sexual congress with that twit isn’t fulfilling. You of all people do not need to resort to this! Or is it the added danger that you seek?”

Fury shook the deep voice and a frisson of fear went through Harry, but his body didn’t seem to notice as it heated and hardened, pressed as it was between the cold stone and Snape. His hands scrabbled for purchase, fingertips numb against the heavy cloth. When they did find a fold, they clung instead of pushing the man away. Black eyes bored into his as Harry struggled to breathe.

“Or perhaps this is what you truly crave!”

Hard lips closed over his, and a hand slid under his shirt, fingers branding his skin. It was a kiss like Harry had never experienced. Snape possessed him, devoured him as he undulated against Harry, who couldn’t help but press closer, his cock suddenly achingly hard. A thigh slipped between his legs and Harry was mortified by the groan that erupted from him when he felt a hard length press against his thigh.

In the next instant Harry was standing outside the gates, the winged boars swimming in his vision as he swayed. The cold dread exploding in his chest was a direct contrast to the fire raging in his blood. Humiliation flamed his cheeks, and the rejection and banishment ripped at his heart. Harry staggered on unsteady legs as his mind and body realigned. In one trembling hand Harry found the scorched remains of the parchment he had handed Snape so eagerly. He had no idea what had just happened.

Straightening his spine and smoothing his clothing back into place, Harry Apparated away. Opening his eyes, he glanced around the extensive Black library at Grimmauld Place and headed for the section of shelves that housed books on biology, medi-wizardry and medicinal potions. Kreacher had personally cleaned and reorganized the ancient books in a way that sort of made sense to Harry - he could usually find what he was looking for. He would find the instructions for the Draught of Evinco Veneficus on his own.

His body still throbbed with arousal and Harry braced his hand against a shelf. Was it normal to feel such an intense sexual reaction to something like that? Why hadn’t Ginny ever made him feel this way? Was there something wrong with him? Harry once again felt a stab of longing for the parents he never knew, for the wisdom of a mother’s intuition, even for the father-son ‘talk’ all his friends referred to with dread. Harry had never had anyone to tell him what was ‘normal’ and what wasn’t, what it was supposed to feel like when you were in love – hell, he’d even had to look up how to wank! All the things that a boy learned from his father, all the things he’d hoped Sirius would help him with, Harry had had to learn on his own. No wonder he was still a virgin, Harry thought with disgust.

Standing in front of a short row of books, Harry took a calming breath and examined the words on each spine. Finally, he selected an ancient-looking tome that seemed to be a textbook of some type. He would figure out how to make Teddy’s potion on his own, like a real parent should. He would also figure out what he’d done to that had sent Snape into such a rage. A sense of loss hung heavily on him, but Harry pushed the feeling aside determinately, knowing he’d only ever had a casual friendship with the Headmaster. Settling into the chair, Harry carefully opened the stained book and began to read.

<<<>>>

Severus Snape gave a curt nod acknowledging Tom’s wave as he stepped out of the Floo into the Leaky Cauldron. Four days after his disastrous confrontation with Harry Potter, Severus still found himself in a foul mood. It continued to baffle him that someone like Potter, an attractive man, Auror, and the darling of society, would need to resort to a potion that subjugated the part of the magical brain that controlled inhibitions. It was a potion that left the drinker highly susceptible to suggestion. Bordering on Dark, the potion was thankfully obscure and difficult to brew properly. The desire to possess such a potion was contrary to the innocent front Potter projected, but Severus couldn’t forget the stunned look on the young man’s face or his responsiveness to Severus’ actions before he’d been banished from Hogwarts. Nor could he forget his own yearning to possess Harry, to discover if he was truly as innocent as he appeared.

Stepping inside the apothecary, Severus greeted the owner with a genuine smile. The two enjoyed a long acquaintance and the older man was always prepared to discuss the freshness of each of the ingredients Severus needed, where they were picked and the pureness of each. Severus was able to push his disturbed thoughts aside. Tea and conversation with a knowledgeable man was quite the pleasant interlude, Severus thought as he took his leave, a bag of carefully packed potions ingredients in his hand.

“Severus Snape! I would recognize that derisive scowl anywhere!”

Severus looked up at the sound of the familiar, mocking tone. The tall blonde witch standing in front of him had been several years ahead of Severus at Hogwarts and had gone on to become a world-renowned Healer; the only one Severus had ever sought out for himself. The former Ravenclaw Prefect had a brilliant mind and diagnostic ability, but an unfortunate proclivity to say in thirty words what could be said in five.

“Hannah.” Severus inclined his head in greeting. “What brings you out of your consulting room?”

“Lunching with my delightful wife, Severus.” The light eyes twinkled merrily. “Myrna likes to keep me on my toes by surprising me.”

“Indeed,” Severus arched an eyebrow, remembering the tiny, dark-haired Slytherin from his own year, a dynamic witch who was a splendid dueler. “How is dear Myrna?”

The healer linked her arm through his, her shrewd eyes searching his face and a devious smile playing on her lips. “None of that, my boy, you are not diverting me until you tell me whether Harry Potter has spoken to you.”

Severus frowned. “Mr. Potter sought me out four days ago…”

“Splendid! Then you will be able to help him brew the Draft of Evinco Veneficus! He is quite determined to do something that will help little Teddy control the surfeit of magic that is making him so excessively active,” the woman cried in delight. “Can you believe that boy quit his job after he gained custody, just to make sure his career didn’t interfere with him raising his godson? And poor Andromeda, the child was just too much for her to handle!”

Astonished, Severus halted, turning towards the woman, who laughed at his expression before he recovered sufficiently to mask it.

“Yes, I was rather surprised myself at that, but Harry is completely committed to giving the child the home life he himself never had. Although that Weasley chit went around the twist about it when he told her, threw his ring back at him and said some rather rude things, according to what Teddy told me!” Hannah snorted. “Stupid bint, I always thought the poor lad deserved better anyway.”

Thoughts swirled in Severus’ head as self-recrimination twisted his gut. It appeared he had misjudged Harry Potter yet again, viewing the young man through eyes prejudiced with memories of his father without conceding how like Lily the boy was. The feel of that lean body against his flashed through his mind. Perhaps Severus could still salvage the situation.

“I did wonder how a potion designed to subjugate the magic protecting the mind could help the child,” Severus said casually.

“It has a different effect on small children like Teddy, my suspicious Slytherin friend.” Hannah squeezed his arm. “It actually works to calm the magical impulses that are making him respond to stimuli so vigorously. In milder forms, such as Nymphadora had, the magical impulses can affect certain areas such as balance or motor skills and damage them. In Teddy’s case, the magic seems to disburse along the area of the brain that causes hyperactivity, making it hard for him to settle to anything, which will be especially problematic when he starts his schooling.”

Severus nodded slowly. He had heard of Muggle medications that had a similar outcome, calming children but stimulating adults.

The Healer frowned. “Harry didn’t mention talking to you when he Floo-called me late Saturday afternoon.”

That would have been after their encounter, Severus thought. “Perhaps he didn’t think of it?”

To his relief the witch nodded and smiled. “Yes, that was probably it. Harry had picked up Teddy from the Weasleys and found the child was feverish. The poor dear worries so much, I just don’t know why…” Hannah trailed off as they stopped in front of her clinic.

“You don’t know why?” Severus prompted.

“It was just that Harry seemed so weary and, well, defeated, when I spoke to him that it had me worried.” She patted Severus’ arm before continuing. “But I won’t concern myself if I know you are helping him.”

“Be assured that I will render any assistance I can,” Severus told her. “I will fire-call you if I have any further questions about the potion.”

The Healer smiled and bade him goodbye as Severus spun on his heel. He knew he would be able to find the recipe for the potion amongst his own extensive collection of potions books at Hogwarts, which just left him to gather the ingredients before he could start brewing. Pushing down any thoughts of the damage he had done to the fragile friendship he had with Harry, Severus Apparated back to the gates of the school. The Headmaster strode up the well-worn pathway, his mind already going over what appointments he had to cancel to clear his calendar.

<<<>>>

Severus stepped out in to the brightly lit kitchen of Grimmauld Place in a high temper, despite the fact that it was barely dawn. The brat had failed to respond to his painstakingly written missive, which had advised Potter of their misunderstanding without assigning blame, the closest Severus was willing to come to an apology. He had also failed to answer several fire-calls, although the blasted ancient elf Potter had reformed had grown increasingly nervous over the last day. Taking advantage of still being able to get through the wards, Severus was going to find out for himself what was going on.

“Are you Harry’s friend?” a small voice came from the doorway.

Turning swiftly, Severus took in the small, fidgeting child dressed in a bizarre mix of wizarding robes and sleepwear. Light brown hair stood up in all directions and the dark eyes seemed shadowed as Severus took a step towards him.

“I…yes, a friend of your godfather,” Severus said as he watched the boy shift his weight from foot to foot. “May I inquire as to his whereabouts…where Harry is?”

“Sleepin’,” Teddy Lupin said, glancing over his shoulder. “He sounds funny though.”

“Can you take me to where he is?” Severus asked, a frisson of apprehension running through him.

A small hand startled him by sliding into his, warm and trusting, and Severus frowned, but the hand tugged at him.

“I have to take you there, ‘cause you don’t live here,” Teddy told him as they climbed the stairs. “But I was sick and Dad…I mean, Harry, was trying to re’terch a potion. And now I am all better, but Harry isn’t waking up this morning and Kreacher thinks he is sick, too. He made me breakfast and helped me get dressed, but now he’s with Harry cause his head is hot and…”

Severus tried to digest the steady flow of words as he followed Teddy up to the second floor. The child had taken ill and Harry had tended to him, but now seemed to be sick himself. What had the idiot boy done to himself now? The child’s nonstop monologue began to irritate Severus, but he remembered what Hannah had told him, this seemed to fit the symptoms she had described. His free hand found the potion vial in his pocket and Severus quickly calculated the dosage in his head as Teddy stopped beside an open door.

“Kreacher…”

Severus took in the dark, high-ceilinged room, the huge four-poster bed and the house elf standing on a stool. Kreacher started at the child’s words, the flannel he was using to wipe Potter’s forehead still held in his hand as he turned towards the doorway. The watery eyes widened and Kreacher was off the stool in a low bow.

“Master Snape! Kreacher is much relieved to see someone who can help his young Master!”

Severus made his way to the bed in two steps, leaning over Harry to take in his pale face, flushed cheeks and raspy breathing. He set the small blue vial on the bedside table before unbuttoning his outer robes.

“Kreacher, I need a vial of fever reducing potion and one of Congestion Conflation, both of which Madam Pomfrey at Hogwarts will have if there are none in the house. I will also need a flagon of water and a spoon to administer young Teddy’s new potion.”

His frock coat followed the robes.

Kreacher stepped forward to take both carefully. “Master Harry is telling Kreacher to tend to Master Teddy…”

“I have been teaching children for over twenty years, Kreacher,” Severus snapped. “I believe I am capable of watching one four-year-old! Now, please bring me the water and spoon before you leave for Hogwarts.”

Kreacher bowed again before disappearing with a crack. Teddy squirmed as he stood beside the bed, fingers pleating the duvet as he watched Severus roll up the sleeves of his pristine white shirt.

“Do you think you might be able to sit up here on the bed and assist me, Teddy?” Severus asked.

Teddy nodded eagerly and immediately scrambled up onto the bed, jostling Harry’s still form as he did. Severus held his tongue, but was glad when the old house elf popped back in with a small tray, which Severus took with muttered thanks. Pouring a small amount of water into a goblet, Severus retrieved the vial and measured several drops into the spoon before stirring it into the water. Gingerly, he sat on the edge of the bed beside Teddy Lupin.

“Do you remember the potion Harry was researching?” Severus asked and the child immediately nodded. “Well, I was attempting to assist him and this is the potion that Healer Fightmaster wanted you to try.”

Severus held the glass out to Teddy. “I’m not sure it will taste very good, but it should help you, if you are willing to drink it?”

Teddy cocked his head and studied Severus’ face with an acuity that was reminiscent of the child’s father, before nodding. Amazed at the trust from one so young, Severus supported the heavy crystal as Teddy drank his potion. Making a face at the taste, he nevertheless thanked Severus before relinquishing the glass.

“You might feel a little sleepy initially, but that should pass as your body adapts to the medicine,” Severus explained. “I would like to know if you feel any unus - if you feel strange at all, Teddy. Can you do that?”

“Yes, sir,” Teddy told him, his face screwed up as if in anticipation of something strange being immediately felt.

Harry moaned and began to cough, great wracking coughs that shook his body. Severus moved quickly, pulling him into a sitting position and moving the pillows into a pile so that Harry was propped up. Kreacher was there suddenly, handing Severus the potions he had requested. Setting to work, Severus coaxed the potions down the young man’s throat, fingertips stroking his neck to encourage him to swallow. Teddy proved himself helpful in handing Severus things that he needed, making the child feel like he was helping care for his guardian.

Severus lost track of time as the day evolved into night. The fever raged on as Severus alternately casting cooling charms on the sheets and swaddled the young man in blankets to warm him up after. Kreacher brought sandwiches and ultimately took Teddy to his own room to help him get ready for bed. Just when Severus thought he was making headway with the illness that had Harry in its grasp, his patient would begin to cough again. Deep and agonizing to hear, Severus could only brace Harry against him and keep him from flailing about and hurting himself further.

“No! Oh, no…please!”

Severus jerked awake, embarrassed to have fallen asleep as he sat in an impossibly hard chair beside Harry’s bed. The anguished cry sent a chill down Severus’ spine, and he stood to check on the young man. The dark fringe was plastered to his sweat-damp forehead and Harry thrashed about as if trying to get free of his bedding.

“Harry,” Severus tried soothing him as he reached to rewet the flannel, wiping it across the hot skin.

“I’m sorry…I didn’t…don’t mean to be bad…freak…NO!”

Images from the failed Occlumency lessons flashed through Severus’ mind and he grimly resolved to find out more as soon as Harry was better. The delirium was bringing back old nightmares, but not the ones Severus would assume the man who defeated the Dark Lord would have. There was so much of Harry that he didn’t understand, so much mystery in his reactions to life that Severus could not fathom. There were layers of depth to this boy, so much more of his mother in him than he had recognized, masked as it was by James Potter’s features.

“You’re safe, Harry,” Severus told him in what he hoped was a soothing voice as he urged Harry to swallow more of the fever-reducing potion.

Harry’s eyes opened, focusing on his face in the dim light as Severus leaned close. “Severus…messed up…lost you before I knew I wanted you…never work…hate me…”

The yearning Severus saw in the depths of those fever-bright emerald eyes staggered him and he was at a loss, out of his element. Long buried instinct surfaced and Severus brushed his hand through the tangled hair. Harry leaned in to the touch, much like a kitten when it wanted to be petted. Bemused, Severus complied, carding his fingers through the tousled curls until Harry settled and slipped back into a restless sleep. Even after the fever finally broke and Harry fell into an exhausted sleep, Severus sat on the bed beside him with his fingers gently stroking, his mind lost deep in thought.

<<<>>>


Go on to Part Two