Long, part deux
There is no need to apologise for being peeved, as you surely have noticed that you aren't alone in this. I tend to catch unsuspecting people with mini rants on the very topic, because it is so very frustrating. More so recently, as I was re listening (listening as long hours shelving books goes in a pleasant fashion with some sort of distraction, and her writing is more palatable when read aloud) to it only a few weeks ago and it is still fresh in my mind. Or rather the somewhat hideous errors are. I never mind so much about random people dying who shouldn't, but the fact that .. that.. the structure could have been ineffably stronger, if as you said, their deaths and lives were used better. I can see that getting Snape forgiveness would have meant she would have to unbend on matters of 'good and evil' a lot more than her unintentional haphazard allowance had so far permitted, plus needing to address some actual issues regarding hereditary, identity, atonement and nature/nurture etc. Well and an ability to let her characters do the talking, rather than what she 'intended.' In particular poor Harry, who might actually have become more than a cardboard cutout. Grr. Oh well, c'est la vie. Can't force her to write like an adult, but thank you for filling at least one gap, and doing it in such an elegant manner.
Mm. She is indeed the bridge, and I think that is part of the brilliance of the story - your realisation that the triangle could be inverted from another view point that is just beyond the regular range. Then let the ramfications unroll as well as making sure that along with the rest of the triangle, Lily also reaches resolution. Certainly it allows her to be something other than a faux Blessed Virgin Mary hybridised with Christ.Or, in a much more medieval manner, a Christ hybridised with the BVM. At least her intercession here is .. present, because the bit that annoyed me in the books, more than anything else to do with setting her up as the 'mother figure' is that .. she was lost in the memory of herself. The icon. In short, I smiled a lot at the humanisation of her and how that just made it all that much better, from her realisation of her error, to her jealousy and generosity. Uh. See me babble randomly and manage to repeat what you said a lot more coherently!
Bwahaha, I like that Dumbledore is nice and scheming and disappointed - it sums up his nature better than any lengthy meta could. I have a strange fondness for him. Ok not strange, but just fond. Possibly one of the few who liked him the more manipulative he became.
Hmm, it is not that you didn't sell me, it is just that you had sold me and so it jarred because I could tell the change in voice, from being Lily's to yours. There is nothing wrong with eroticising the language, or even eroticising Snape, just perhaps making sure to do it within the character boundaries will make it more useful. Nothing that keeping an eye out can't fix, or not writing to a deadline wouldn't pick up eventually. Or you know, ignore me because I am what is known as 'ludicrously picky' and therefore immensley annoying. I think I was probably referring to the mass cruciatus more than anything else, for the same reason as the voice change - the reason it stood out being precisely because everything else was so well integrated into the story. Although at least you didn't have him suddenly developing the ability to turn invisible or stop time with one hand.. that would be on level par with certain authors and their concept of flight. *blinks* Now there is a very strange image of him as a clock.