|snarryhols (snarryhols) wrote in snarry_holidays,|
@ 2008-11-27 10:12:00
|Entry tags:||giftee: calanor, rated: nc-17|
Fic: Anonymous Author Presents: The Snarry Nightmare Before Christmas
Title: Anonymous Author Presents: The Snarry Nightmare Before Christmas
Word Count: 2,444 words
Pairing: Harry + Snape = Snarry
Warnings: If you squint you’ll see some fluff mixed with some crack. Rimming, male on male action (duh)
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. 'Twas the Night Before Christmas was written by Clement Clarke Moore. Scrooge was created by Charles Dickens. The Nightmare Before Christmas and its associated characters were created by Tim Burton and are owned by Touchstone Pictures and Disney. No copyright infringement or claims are intended..
Summary: Cross over Harry Potter / The Nightmare Before Christmas.
Author's Notes: This is my first ever Snarry fic. I hope you enjoy despite the descent into crack and inane poetic license. I tried to incorporate your prompts as much as I was able. So you get happy strong Harry, grumpy Snape, Yuletide/Christmas traditions and elements of a Christmas movie.
Beta by: S, L, and B
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring except
The Snarry plot bunny.
It sniffed disdainfully at kinks,
At blood play, chan and non-con.
It poked its nose at genres
Like mpreg and AU.
Alas, what to do?
A Christmas fic, you say?
Well, that’s a fine to do.
So off raced the writer, with quill in hand,
And thus now the tale at hand.
Harry grinned to himself as he browsed through the brochures again. No one could resist the Christmas spirit, especially where they were going. The sound of the Floo activating made him quickly hide the papers. Straightening up, he went to the drawing room to greet Severus, as the wards would have alerted him if someone else had Flooed into the house. Pausing a moment in the doorway to admire the striking figure of his lover, Harry smiled.
“How was your day?” he asked. The scowl on Severus’ face was all the answer he got. “That good, huh?”
“Bloody imbeciles, the lot of them,” Severus fumed. “All they ever want are love potions and cosmetic glamour potions. Nothing the least bit challenging!”
“Those bastards! How dare they seek out your talents to make un-challenging potions?” Harry cried, barely containing his chortle.
“Your sarcasm, juvenile as it is, is not appreciated.”
“Well, don’t worry, it’ll soon be Christmas.”
“And this is supposed to console me how?”
“Well… I was thinking we could take a trip together for Christmas.”
“Aren’t you going to the red menaces’ Christmas dinner?”
“I wanted our first Christmas together to be special. Wait, do you mean if I was going to the Weasleys? Weren’t you coming with me if I was?”
“Celebrate Christmas with the brood? ‘Bah, humbug,’ as Mr. Dickens would say.”
“That’s not a problem anyway as we’ll be celebrating alone. Well, mostly alone,” Harry amended, refusing to acknowledge Severus’ Scrooge impersonation. Severus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Let me say this slowly so that even your minute brain may comprehend it: I. Do. Not. Celebrate. Christmas.”
“You don’t want to be with me for Christmas?” Harry asked in an injured tone. His expression was one of sorrowful rejection as he continued. “It’s just that I never really celebrated Christmas with the Dursleys, not that I wanted to. But I thought now that we are living together, I could have a real family celebration and make our own traditions. If you don’t want to, I understand…”
“Oh, for the love of….” Severus broke in. “Fine. We’ll celebrate the crass excuse for over-indulgences and gross consumerism.”
Harry launched himself at his grumbling lover, hugging and kissing him.
“Thank you, you won’t regret it.”
“What I regret is how truly wrapped around your finger you have me.”
“You know you love me.”
“Really, and here I thought it was just the regular sex.”
“Oi!” was as far as he got before Severus captured his mouth in a steamy kiss.
Their tongues dueled, seeking out damp corners. Teeth caught on lips, soft nips hinting at darker passions. Warm air breathed against fevered cheeks as Harry muttered the word ‘bed’.
In a blink, Severus found himself naked and spread-eagled on their bed. Harry’s power still astounded him at times, as he had wordlessly and wandlessly Apparated and stripped them. Those thoughts were quickly overshadowed by the sensation of Harry’s tongue on his skin.
A swirl of damp muscle swiftly followed by a nip of teeth, as he journeyed from his shoulders down his back. The skin underneath his mouth rippled like a wave as Severus shuddered in response. His back was so sensitive he could come from Harry’s ministrations alone, and had upon occasion.
Severus half-moaned, half-purred as hands kneaded his arse. He quickly complied with the thumbs digging into him, parting his cheeks as he knelt to spread them wider. A swipe of tongue down the crease followed by a warm puff of air had him convulsing.
A broken plea was all Severus could utter as the tip of a tongue travelled the rim of his spasming hole. The circles becoming tighter, as the tongue worked its way towards the center. Devilishly it wormed inside, breaching muscles slackened with desire. Hips canted as the body rocked to parry each thrust.
“More please, more.”
A spell grunted out against an arsehole made it slippery and relaxed. A brief vacuum formed as their bodies realigned and then a cock nudged against an arsehole, like a wanderer knocking on a door seeking refuge. Harry pushed and his cock was embraced into the heated center. Twin sighs echoed into the silence as their bodies joined.
Harry glided in, the slow drag of flesh on flesh as exciting as always. The tell-tale sound of balls meeting buttocks signaled he was buried to the hilt inside Severus. He started a steady rhythm that soon grew into a frenzy as the pace increased.
Seeking release the tension spiraled, finally reaching the crescendo. Severus felt his muscles tighten around Harry’s shaft. Soon, viscous white fluid was spilling, overflowing with each thrust. It found pathways down Severus’ legs and onto the bed sheets, mixing with Severus’ come. Satiation achieved, the figure became two separate beings once more. A quick clean-up spell and they snuggled down into the covers; separate but together nonetheless.
Harry knew the signs all too well: the tic under the left eye, the throbbing vein between the eyes. Mount Snape was about to erupt.
“Harry. James. Potter. Tell me that I am undergoing some ocular hallucination offset by the inhalation of fumes from an unknown potion.”
“Ah… um…no. Not that I’m aware of.”
“The stress of leading a double life has finally caught up with me and I am delirious?”
“Hmmm…” he muttered as he quickly cast diagnostic spells over Harry. “Nothing seems to be wrong.”
Harry rolled his eyes.
“Yet there must be, because…Why would you bring me to Christmas Town of all places?” Severus screeched.
The ice crystals and snow on the trees fell around them as the vibrations of Severus’ shout reached the trees. Several persons watched them with undisguised curiosity. Harry sighed heavily. He had hoped surprising Severus would have gone over better than this.
“Severus, what better way to spend a memorable Christmas than at Christmas Town? Look,” he cried, pulling out brochures, “each section of the town has different traditions according to the country they represent. So you can enjoy Christmas all around the world.”
“Harry, I agreed to partake in this inane festivity, but this is taking it too far. Could we not have gone to a nice, isolated island somewhere warm?”
“But Severus, you’re always saying that I should learn more about cultures, and this is a great opportunity.”
“I said you should be more cultured, you unrefined monkey. Not learn different cultures.”
Harry pouted. Severus glared.
“I’m not falling for that again.”
As Severus ate his Scottish Black Bun, he pondered how he had fallen for it again. He looked over at Harry. His face was animated with excitement as he chatted with an elf: not a house-elf, but one of Santa’s workshop elves. His green eyes sparkled, his full lips curved in a smile and Severus knew why he had fallen for Harry’s ploy again. He just couldn’t see Harry upset or sad, when it was in his power to make him happy. It wouldn’t do, however, to let Harry know how much he enjoyed watching Harry enjoy himself. He ensured his face was set in a scowl, deterring any of the other happy holiday makers from approaching him. Surreptitiously, he observed the dining area.
The decorations were an odd mix of holly, laurel, mistletoe, plaid tartans and candles. Severus assumed, quite rightly, that this hall showcased the traditions of the British Isles. There was no set order, though, to the celebrations. Severus knew (thanks to Harry’s brochures, not that he’d ever admit to reading them) that candles were lit on Christmas Eve to light the way of the Holy Family. They were also lit on New Year’s Eve to guide strangers (First Footers) travelling the land.
When Harry and Severus arrived, they were greeted warmly, as dark-haired strangers were considered a sign of good luck. Harry was persuaded to offer handsel, which he did in the form of mulled wine. Everyone drank and then tossed some into the fire, as the ritual regarding First Footers dictated. Severus was quite certain that it was still Christmas Eve and not New Year’s. His thoughts were disrupted by a group of children gathering near to their chairs. He noted they each had an apple with sticks protruding out of them.
“Calenigg!” Harry exclaimed.
“Bless you,” Severus said.
“No, I didn’t sneeze. Calenigg,” he repeated, pointing at the apples, as the elf beside him beamed approval.
“Randolph was just telling me about it. The children take apples and stick three twigs in them as well as almonds and evergreen. It’s called a ‘lucky Calenigg’. Then they carry it around and sing carols. People give them money or cakes for it and keep it in the house all year round. They believe that as long as it lasts, the good luck will last.”
“Superstitious nonsense,” Severus muttered into his glass of wine.
“Well, I think it’s rather cute,” Harry declared with a quelling glare at his lover.
A hush fell over the audience as the children began to sing, their tiny voices blending together to form an angelic harmony. Even Severus was held entranced by the aural feast.
Later into the night, a stage area was cleared and a short skit put on. The story of the Oak King and the Holly King was portrayed. As the Oak King slayed the Holly King in order to reign over Yuletide, mistletoe appeared over everyone’s head. Harry giggled at the dour expression on Severus’s face, and then, he proceeded to snog it off.
They were just settling into bed when a siren sounded throughout the town. Quickly grabbing their wands, they ran towards the sound. They found a large crowd gathered around some elves and a grandmotherly looking lady, all of whom were upset. Mrs. Claus, for that’s who the lady was, kept saying that the children would be disappointed as she sobbed into a handkerchief.
“What is happening here?” Severus asked, striding through the crowd.
“Santa Claus is missing!” the elves chorused.
“Okay, everyone calm down,” Harry said soothingly. “One at a time, tell us what happened. How did you discover he was missing?”
The story soon emerged. Santa was revising the good/bad list when there was a knock at the door. When he answered, three strangely dressed children had somehow stuffed him into a large sack and escaped in a bathtub.
“Do you think it could be a Death Eater?” Harry asked anxiously.
“Yes, Harry. Some random Death Eater, who somehow survived the death of Voldemort, decided to kidnap Santa Claus in an elaborate plot for world domination.”
“Must you always be so wordy? A simple: No, Harry, that’s a stupid idea, would have been enough.”
“It’s strange though,” Harry continued. “The description of the children sounds like Muggle children dressed for Halloween.”
Both came to the same conclusion at once.
“But why would they take Santa Claus? That makes no sense,” Harry protested.
“Who knows what goes through the minds of those miscreants.”
“Then we had better hurry.”
Swiftly they raced to the portal door, out of Christmas Town and into the forest. They located the tree door to Halloween Town and ran through, to be confronted by thick fog. Both cast Lumos to help them see in the swirling mist, hoping to discover a road.
The sound of cackling and screams soon steered their feet in the right direction. Gathered round a pond was a motley group of creatures. Harry and Severus cast Notice-Me-Not spells over themselves as they ventured closer. The pool appeared to be a scrying device of some kind that allowed them to see events taking place in the world.
The Muggle military were being mobilized against an impostor Santa Claus, who looked like a skeleton. Harry felt a tugging on his sleeve as Severus guided them away. Casting a silencing spell over them, Harry turned to Severus.
“What’s going on?”
“It seems the Pumpkin King has decided to take over Christmas with disastrous effects. You must go notify the Ministry and try to do some damage control. Meanwhile, I’ll look for Santa Claus.”
“Don’t do anything foolish.”
“Please, I’m not a Gryffindor.”
“I love you.”
“Yes, well, off you go.”
Harry stole a kiss and then Disapparated.
Severus cast a location spell to help him find Santa. With his wand acting as a pointer he set off into the fog. The sound of a woman’s screams proved to be better than his locator spell.
Stealthily, he approached the rickety building and peered through the window. Tied to some sort of device were Santa Claus and a young woman, while some sack-clothed absurd creature gloated over them. The creature was singing about how he was going to take over Halloween and Christmas Towns. He, Oogie Boogie, was going to do what he wanted now that the Pumpkin King, Jack Skellington was gone. So saying he pulled on a lever that was going to throw them onto some blades and into a pot.
Severus burst into the room firing off spells. Chaos ensued as Oogie Boogie set off his traps. Giant blades flew around the room as Severus countered with agility and spells. A strong severance charm soon ended everything, as it tore through the seams of Oogie Boogie’s suit. Since Oogie Boogie was really a sack, sewn together and filled with bugs, he fell apart and into the fire, gone forever.
As Severus checked over Santa Claus and the woman (whose name was Sally), to make sure they were okay, the door slammed open, revealing a very contrite Jack Skellington. He had survived his brief stint as Santa Claus, no thanks to the Muggle military.
“Forgive me, Mr. Claus; I’m afraid I’ve made a terrible mess of your holiday.”
“Bumpy sleigh ride, Jack? The next time you get the urge to take over some else’s holiday, I’d listen to her,” Santa cried, pointing to Sally. “She’s the only one that makes any sense in this insane asylum.”
“Skeletons,” Severus and Santa muttered, sharing a look.
“I hope there’s still time,” Jack called out behind him.
“To fix Christmas? Of course. I’m Santa Claus.” His voice faded away as Severus Disapparated with him.
Christmas was indeed saved. Harry had contacted Minister Shacklebolt, who alerted the other Ministries throughout the world. Together, they were able to mass Obliviate the Muggles. Santa, with the aide of Thestrals, was able to deliver the proper presents to all the children. Harry and Severus decided that holidaying at home was much safer and definitely more fun as they started their own traditions.