|snarryhols (snarryhols) wrote in snarry_holidays,|
@ 2007-12-07 13:27:00
|Entry tags:||au: magic, fic, rated: r|
Circles, for psyfic
Word Count: 2000 or so
Pairing: Harry/Severus - there’s also Lily/James but only slightly and not sexually.
Warnings: TEH SEX
Disclaimer: Not mine! The song at the start, by the way is John O’Callaghan.
Summary: AU. Sometimes, if we are lucky, we remember those we loved in another life. Sometimes, if we are not so lucky, we don’t quite remember correctly.
I know this silence - been here before.
I'm walking blinded through your door.
This is a sense of things to come,
Breathe in this moment - it's come and gone
Further and faster through your soul.
Open your eyes and breathe some more,
Open your mind...
Release yourself - it's a big sky.
Reveal yourself, it's a big sky.
We love, we leave. We take, we give.
Release yourself - it's a big sky.
“Dorian?” Lily poured some tea into a mug.
“What’s wrong with Dorian?”
James handed her the sugar. “It’s… odd.”
“You want our son to be a geek?”
“It’s a good book!” Lily sat at the table in the kitchen. “I like Oscar Wilde. I’m not a geek”
She pulled her hair away from her face. “Fine. Dorian’s out. I still like Oscar Wilde.”
James stared at her for a moment.
“How is he?” Harry waited in the doorway.
“He’ll live.” The girl did not raise her eyes. She continued to wipe the blood from Russ’ face. “It’ll scar.”
“He’ll wake up soon?”
The girl put the cloth into the bowl on the table. “Soon. I don’t know when.”
Harry nodded. “Thank you.”
The girl gathered her things and walked to the door.
“You did a good thing.” She touched Harry’s arm. “You were lucky.”
“I always am.”
“You can’t name our child Oscar.”
“I wasn’t going to!”
“What do you suggest, then, James?”
Severus turned his head and squinted.
“How do you feel?” The man was looking out of the window, into the sunshine.
The man laughed and turned to him. “I’m not surprised. Do you remember anything?”
Severus nodded. “Sorry.” He lay back against the pillows. “Who are you?”
“I thought you remembered?”
Severus shrugged and turned away. “Green eyes,” he whispered.
The man nodded once and took a step towards the bed. “Harry. He saved you.”
Severus’ head turned slightly. “No. That’s not right.” He raised one arm and rubbed his cheek. “Who are you?”
The man approached the bed and sat next to Severus. “Albie,” he spoke slowly. “My name is Albie Dore. You work for me.”
“Oh.” Severus shrugged again. “Sorry.”
There was silence.
“Severus. That’s my name. Severus Snape.”
“That’s what it’s short for?” Albie laughed. “No wonder you refused to say!”
“I don’t know what you mean…” Severus scratched his nose. “Sorry.”
“Stop apologising…. Severus. Your name is Russ.”
Albie stood up. “I should let you rest. I know you won’t remember, but just in case…” Albie turned at the doorway and tilted his head to one side. “Dark Lord is fine.”
Severus’ mouth opened. It was not until Albie had gone that he released the hand that gripped his left forearm.
“You cannot name our son after a Muggle board game!”
“He’s a Quidditch player!”
“Because that’s so much better?”
The man nodded. He took off his cape and draped it over the chair in the corner.
“Green eyes,” Severus said.
Harry smiled. “Albie said that’s all you remembered.”
“No.” Severus looked out of the window.
Harry sat on the very edge of the bed. “I though you might be bored.”
“A little. I keep trying to remember what happened.”
“What if I don’t?”
Harry placed a hand on Severus’ arm. “Don’t think about it like that.”
“What did happen?” Severus was still looking out of the window. If he closed his eyes a little, he could make the clouds appear as a winged horse.
“Ah.” Harry pulled his hand away. “Albie wants you to remember on your own.”
Harry smiled. “Yes.”
He should have a long white beard and a pointy hat.
“Never mind. Albie said something about the Dark Lord?”
Harry nodded. “He’s fine. You’ll see him soon.”
Severus chewed at his lower lip.
“Don’t worry. It’ll be fine.”
“Fine. How about James?”
“I give up! I’m going upstairs to read.”
“What’s wrong with James?”
“Now I’m bored.”
Harry, still in the doorway, laughed. “Short attention span?”
“I have a bed, a chair and a window that I can’t see out of. It’s not terribly exciting.”
“You can see the clouds.” Harry stepped towards the window and touched his nose to the glass.
“I never held with Aeromancy - Pointless and inaccurate. Besides, you’re blocking the view.”
Harry turned. “What’s Aeromancy?”
“It’s-” Severus stopped and laughed. “I have no idea.”
“Russ… Severus. Sorry.” Harry moved toward the bed. “Albie says you’ve not been sleeping well?”
Severus kept his gaze focussed on the window. “No.”
“When you dream-”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
Harry nodded. “I could bring you a book?”
Severus did not turn. A bird was sitting on the window ledge outside. “Yes, please.”
“I’ll come back after work.”
“You work?” Severus turned to face Harry, who smiled. “What do you do?”
“I herd cattle.”
“Oh. Did I-”
“I can’t tell you, Severus.”
“Albie. Right.” Severus looked back at the window. The bird was gone. “Later, then,” he said.
“You remember the shape and colour of Lily Evan’s eyes, I am sure?”
“DON’T! Gone… Dead…”
“Severus!” Harry shook his shoulders again. “Severus! Wake up!”
Severus sat up sharply. He gasped and took several rapid, shallow breaths.
“Ok?” Harry placed one hand on Severus’ back. “I heard you screaming.”
“What’s your mother’s name?”
“My mother’s dead.”
“Her name, though? What was her name?”
Severus wiped his face on the blanket. “I… don’t know why that matters. Sorry, Harry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
Harry shrugged. “I was awake anyway.”
“I am remembering things.”
Harry’s hand moved in little circles on Severus’ back.
“They’re wrong, though. I’m remembering everything wrong.”
“I’ll ask Albie.”
“Albie says I may tell you.”
“Oh, then it must be time for me to know.”
Harry shrugged. “You get used to him, after a while.”
Severus folded the page he was reading and set his book aside. “So?”
“Alright. Tell me what you know about yourself – about what you remember.”
“You won’t just tell me?”
“My name is Severus Snape. I’m in bed and I don’t know who I am. I don’t remember anything.”
“You remembered my eyes though.” Harry turned the chair around, placed it next to the bed and sat on it backwards.
“What about my eyes, Severus?”
“I can’t tell you who you are unless you tell me.”
“That’s not fair!” Severus straightened suddenly.
“Maybe I’ll come back.” Harry stood and turned towards the door.
“Wait.” Severus stared firmly at a small section of floor beside the bed. “I… oh, God. I loved those eyes.”
Harry turned slowly back to the chair. He sat and ran a finger over his lower lip. “You know we hadn’t met before, yes?”
Severus shrugged. He was still examining the floor.
“Your name is Russ Snape. You never told anyone what it was short for. You were born in 1860-”
“1960. I worked at Hogwarts from 1981.”
Harry leant forwards. “It’s 1888. And where’s Hogwarts?”
“Britain. How old am I?”
“Are you joking?”
“No.” Harry frowned.
“I’m a wizard.”
“Are you making fun of me?” Harry sighed. “Don’t answer that. You’re Severus Snape. Born 1860. Don’t know where you grew up or your family - Sorry. You’ve worked here for two years, herding cattle. You have a horse – Dark Lord. Horrible creature-”
“Let me guess - you, Mr Potter, have a horse named Firebolt or Buckbeak.”
“Firebolt.” Harry opened his mouth to continue, and then stopped. “How did you know my name was Potter?”
Severus rubbed a hand over his eyes. “I have no idea.”
Harry was already at the door. “I need to talk to Albie,” he said, and hurried out of sight.
“Dark Lord?” Severus whispered to the empty room.
Severus was standing at the window. The dry summer air had left the ground brown and cracked. It was highly uninviting. There was a soft sound from the doorway.
He did not turn. “Harry.”
“You fell into a pit of snakes. Albie reckons one of them was poisonous and that’s why you’re confused.”
“Severus…” Harry was standing next to him, now.
“I feel like I’m remembering another life. I know I’m probably just mad or something but it feels real.”
“I know. You loved someone with green eyes.”
“I have moments when I feel like I’m myself. When I’m sarcastic, usually.”
“I’d heard that about you.”
Severus pressed his hand against the cool glass.
“Hold me?” he whispered.
Big Sky, by Sammy Scrimgeour
Thought you’d like something to stave off the boredom. Don’t let James see it.
Love, Remus )
Neither of them intended for it to happen. It was one of those things. The consequences of their actions were thrown with all caution into the wind. Nothing really made sense to them. Neither knew what was happening, or why – it just did.
Russ knew something. He knew he loved the owner of those green eyes. He fell into Harry’s embrace and relaxed. Perhaps he was just mad.
There was a moment, when they meant to pull away. Harry looked into Russ’ face and acted on sudden, irresistible impulse. He was led by his mouth, into the mouth of the confused mad man.
He followed his hands with his kisses. Kiss chase, he thought, without sparing a moment to think at all. Russ’ hands were on his skin, crawling through every inch of warm, tense flesh.
What Harry had known of sex was awkward and fumbling. Russ did not remember sex at all.
Hands to skin.
Then hands sliding down with elegant, teasing slowness. Harry’s fingers met hair and cock.
Harry let out a small gasp. Russ’ fingers danced.
Together, skin to skin.
Lips to lips.
Harry, on all fours, hands to silky bedclothes, let him in.
In and in and in and in.
Russ’ hands moved across warm skin, along the length of his cock. Harry was gasping with every breath. In and in and in.
Skin to skin.
Harry cannot keep silent. Russ is calling his name and he is compelled to answer.
(I hope Albie doesn’t hear)
And at the end, a moment when all their blood and passion and emotion rushed in circles.
“What will happen?” Russ brushed some hair away from his face.
“Maybe nothing. What do you want to happen?”
“I want a happy ending.”
“Oh.” Harry wrapped his arms around Russ. “How terrible.”
“I don’t want an ending at all.”
“James?” Lily put the book on the table.
James looked up. She sat down opposite him.
“Harry,” she said, and slid the book towards him.
“The baby. Let’s call him Harry.”
James poured some juice into a glass and passed it across the table. Lily wrapped her hands around it, but didn’t drink.
“Do you like it?” She tucked a stray hair behind her ear.
James picked up the book and turned it over. “Muggle?” he looked at his wife. She shook her head, and he shrugged. “Harry Potter,” he said. “Harry James Potter.”
Lily grinned. “I’m never going to escape ‘James’, am I?”
“Nope!” James moved around the table and kissed her on the cheek. “I hope you picked a good character, at least?”
Lily nodded. “An absolute hero…” she paused. “Talented. It’s historical, actually…”
James laughed. “Harry James Potter.” He hurried over to the fireplace. “I’m telling Sirius!” He threw the powder into the flames. Lily smiled.
“Harry James Potter.”