Original poster: snarrymod

Title: Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?
Author: elfwreck or Erica
Team: Team Wartime
Genre(s): Humour
Prompt: Ollivander's
Rating: NC17/Adult
Warnings: Drag mouse over space if you wish to know: * Nothing major. Dub-con in spots, dementor rape (but hey, who minds if dementors get raped?), Death Eater rape (umm, ditto?), non-sexual torture, various mild kinks (as Snarry goes), hints of crackfic. Okay, maybe more than hints.. *
Word Count: 14,000 +/-
A/N: Many many thanks to joanwilder/Raewhit who did a wonderful last-minute beta, fixing scads of hideous capitalization errors and some atrocious Americanizations of British terms. And much love to the poor mods who put up with both my lateness and my spaciness in not informing them about my lateness.


Summary: A wizard's wand enhances his life
It helps him survive if he hasn't a wife
It keeps him from grief
And brings him relief
The time he spends with it is often too brief—
A wizard's wand has a knob on the end!


( Or Are You Just Happy To See Me? )