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snarrymod ([info]snarrymod) wrote in [info]snarry_games,
@ 2009-08-30 22:18:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:fic, snitch

Team Snitch Entry (FIC): "She Who Knows the Orphan" by Dacro
Title: She Who Knows the Orphan
Author: [info]dacro
Team: The Snitchies! (best team evah!)
Genre(s): Historical (Ancient Egypt)
Prompt(s): Act of Mercy & Hunger
Rating/Warnings: PG-13; Highlight if you wish to know: * references to off-screen abuse/violence*
Word Count: 13,400 ish
Betas/Disclaimer Thank you to my most excellent beta army: [info]saladbats, [info]fireelemental79, [info]joanwilder and [info]rurounihime. To the wonderful [info]snarry_games mods and to my Snitchy teammates who held me up when RL was pushing down, thank you from the bottom of my Snarry-loving heart. This is a work of love fiction based on the characters from the world of Harry Potter. I am making no coin from this venture (only friends).
Author Notes I had such a wonderful time researching for this fic. I quickly fell in love with the language and landscape of a civilisation that thrived for nearly thirty dynasties, and I realized that I had bitten off quite a staggering section of history. I purposely left the city, palace and Pharaoh unnamed. They were created from elements of several historical and biblical sources. Here's one thought I'd like to leave you with before you read: The ancient Egyptians believed that the source of human thought and emotions came from not from the brain, but from the heart.


Summary: After using accidental magic to turn Pharaoh's would-be assassin to stone, an orphan suddenly finds himself with new rooms, new clothes and a new title: Palace Magician. When told he must choose a personal servant for himself, he selects someone who doesn't seem long for the world – a former priest and healer accused of murder.





"She Who Knows the Orphan"




Don't forget to vote and review!




MOD NOTE: POLL IS NOW CLOSED. THANK YOU FOR PARTICIPATING IN THE SNARRY GAMES.




Mod note: If you rec this story, please link this POST, not the story url, or the author will not get her proper vote tally. Thank you!

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[info]morganlefay1958
2009-08-31 06:42 am UTC (link)
This was splendid! I've always loved anything to do with Egypt! Very well-written!!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-08-31 06:43 am UTC

[info]joanwilder
2009-08-31 06:59 am UTC (link)
When you first chose this time and location, I had a moment of anxiety about how you'd be able to make it all come alive. It's so far away, in time and space, and I knew you'd be adjusting your narrative style as well. But this was you, I realized, and if anyone could do it, you could. And I was right, and you did.

So glad you chose first person POV; Harry was endearingly honest and real and insecure, but very very good at heart, just like canon Harry. That he was magical, had a gift that he didn't understand, which complicated his life, that he was an orphan and comfortless, rang the familiar canon bells. When faced with the choice of anyone he could want, he chose the outcast, and this Severus, like the one we usually play with, had nothing to really recommend him at first. But then you painted his strength of character, how his pride and intoxication with power became his downfall. A lost soul, until another lost soul found him.

Your narrative style, well, like [info]perfica, you have a gift in adjusting it so that it's a perfect vehicle to deliver your story. Not many authors can do this well; I know I can't. The description of their environment was rich and sensate; I could picture everything, smell the sesame oil, feel the sand beneath my sandals, hear the backdrop of camels and crowded city, and choke against the acrid smoke in my throat as I huddled with them beneath the bed.

I was elated that you bound them together by their common affliction--magic! I loved Harry's dream of Isis, how he took the stripes for Severus, and that ingenious/devious plot that brought them to Pharoah's attention, and ultimately set them upon their own road. Just like Snarry of any genre, what made this work for me was that there really was only one person in the world for Harry, and only one for Severus. Isn't that what we all do when we write Snarry (at least of the romantic variety)? Attempt to make that so? Against incredible odds, Harefre and Severus found each other. All the other wonderful things about your setting and style only enhanced what your true purpose here was--to tell a love story.

You flat-out nailed your genre and prompts. I'm so full of admiration for what you've done, J.. It's a beautiful story, and I know you researched yourself silly, and it shows. But this was never showy or didactic or tedious. It's blended together so that the reader is just carried along, and that's the proof that the reserach gems and all the little touches are just enough, and not too much. So very, very well done! *bows before the Pharoah's handmaiden*

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-08-31 04:29 pm UTC

[info]mia_ugly
2009-08-31 06:59 am UTC (link)
That was absolutely brilliant. I cannot comprehend how much research you must have done for this, and how skillfully you interwove historical details with allusions to the characters we know and love. Your tone especially was captivating - completely believable, formal and austere, and yet still emotional, still poetic. It was hypnotic even. I loved your characterization, and I loved your creative and original response to the genre.

Thank you for this! Masterfully done.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-08-31 04:33 pm UTC

[info]whitecotton
2009-08-31 08:20 am UTC (link)
Gosh, just read it and am in awe. This was such an interesting premise, one I haven't come across before, and so refreshing. I adored the image of Severus serving Harry and yet keeping his dignity. That takes skill to pull off - let alone well - and you did it so beautifully. I became wrapped up in reading this immediately, engrossed in the flavour of old Egypt and for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-08-31 04:42 pm UTC

[info]slashpine
2009-08-31 08:24 am UTC (link)
Wow! How very fun. I love HP in Egypt stories, but apart from this brilliant new fic of yours, and Josan's "Once Upon a Time in Egypt," I can think of none that so beautifully transport the reader to this distant time and different way of life, while still keeping our favorite characters recognizable.

Your research shines through in all the right ways (which most people writing historical genres fail to master). The easy, wrong way is to stuff all manner of research notes and factoids into the text, thus turning it into an impressive but lifeless, overloaded museum display. But you did it *so* right, letting all those lovely details of life in ancient Egypt steer your voice into a style and register that are distinctly non-modern. The straightforward sentences with their tactile, sensory richness, presence of the deities, and deference to the complexities of rank, are deeply evocative of the ancient Egyptians' love of nature, their cultural diversity (woah, you did a *lot* of research!), and the constant sense of being surrounded by divine beings, magic, and earthly intrigues.

The way the you tell the tale, both with your descriptions of the settings and Harefre's voice, emphasizes the beauty, dangers, and above all *difference* of this far-off world. Your choice of first person is brilliant - it put me in the era and the story so immediately! But all the characters speak vividly - Severus, the querulous Khenti, benevolent (and rather Albus-like) Theshen, and Anum with his Fudge-like combination of ineffectuality and intrigues.

There were other overtones of canon for me - I don't know if you intended them, but I found them delightful. Like the way that even though the Pharoah's palace offers them comfort and relative safety, just like Hogwarts, Harry and Severus are still marked as outsiders by the differences in their lives. And the powerful vision of Isis, which for me resonated with the same feel of otherworldly power, joy and comfort that Harry got in Deathly Hallows when he turned the Ring and was visited by his parents. Isis's kiss had a very tender, Lily-like feel.

This fic enchanted me from the start with its well-pitched voice, fun characters, and rich setting. It ended far too soon, but with such sweet lingering images of Harefre and Severus journeying onward together. Perhaps to Heliopolis or over the desert to Punt, or across the Great Green Sea? Your Severus seemed so likely to be one of the Sea Peoples; from Crete, perhaps; he seems very like one of the slender, black-haired dignitaries in their famous wall-paintings.

LOL, can you tell you hit this old archaeologist's Egypt kink?

Tua atu! Which is to say, a salute of adoration to you!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-08-31 06:30 pm UTC
oh, bugger. Reposted for html fail. *reminds self to sleep some time* - [info]slashpine, 2009-08-31 07:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-08-31 11:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]slashpine, 2009-08-31 11:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-08-31 11:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]venturous, 2009-09-01 03:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-09-01 04:58 pm UTC

[info]eriador117
2009-08-31 08:29 am UTC (link)
Very interesting. You can tell a lot of research went into this, but the titbits of knowledge about ancient Egypt didn't feel force-fed to the reader. Loved the blending of this with canon, it was a wonderful, poetic fic :)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-08-31 04:54 pm UTC

[info]aeryun
2009-08-31 12:20 pm UTC (link)
Wonderful story. You kept me so captivated that my kids almost missed their bus. :D

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-08-31 04:55 pm UTC

[info]centaury_squill
2009-08-31 12:26 pm UTC (link)
I really enjoyed this engaging story, the way you skilfully wove in details of life in Ancient Egypt, and how the main characters are still recognisably Harry and Severus. Lovely!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-08-31 04:58 pm UTC

[info]snarry_fan7
2009-08-31 12:36 pm UTC (link)
Marvelous work! I love that it's set in Ancient Egypt and the plot is superb. The ending is so hopeful and perfect. Very wonderful, all of it.~Sophia

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-08-31 04:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarry_fan7, 2009-08-31 05:16 pm UTC

[info]gingertart50
2009-08-31 01:32 pm UTC (link)
Brilliant! I loved this, the subtle interweaving of bits of HP canon into the distant past, the wonderful magic in the storytelling and the hopeful ending, the characters, their flaws and strengths - wonderful captivating fic! Well done, teamie!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-08-31 05:06 pm UTC

[info]house_elf
2009-08-31 02:48 pm UTC (link)
I loved the details of Ancient Egypt and your research clearly showed. And Severus and Harefre's motivations were spot on - redemption and being able to live up to an early, uncontrolled act respectively. Well done.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-08-31 05:13 pm UTC

[info]cluegirl
2009-08-31 03:06 pm UTC (link)
Oh darling, this is beautiful! The language is spot on, as is the delightfully elegant pastiche -- Harry still our bold and hapless Gryffindor, Severus still our angrily generous Slytherin, and the both of them out of their depths and well aware of it.

And your setting of the royal palace, the city, the servants, the whole thing was simply gorgeous beyond the telling of it.

You write the BEST fairy tales!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-08-31 05:29 pm UTC

[info]jadzialove
2009-08-31 03:32 pm UTC (link)
Yayayayayay! Goodness I love this story. Loved it on the team comm and I'm gonna read it again, but I wanted to Squee a little about it being posted.

*loves*

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-08-31 05:15 pm UTC

[info]npetrenko
2009-08-31 07:47 pm UTC (link)
Lovely story. Impressive work.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-08-31 10:05 pm UTC

[info]themostepotente
2009-08-31 09:51 pm UTC (link)
I am a HUUUGE fan of Egyptology, so I am really looking forward to devouring this. *G*

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-08-31 10:07 pm UTC

[info]synn
2009-09-01 01:21 am UTC (link)
Great story! The details from the time are great, but I love that you didn't weigh the story down with them, and the way Harry and Snape are still so very much *them*.

Thanks! : )

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-09-01 04:33 am UTC

[info]accioslash
2009-09-01 03:17 am UTC (link)
The one thing that always amazes me about your stories is the sheer amount of research you put into them. I always learn so much, but the learning process is so enjoyable and enthralling and the story itself so engaging it never feels forced or showy.

Severus is truly my favorite character, but I am filled with so much love for your Harefre. And your style of storytelling is so lyrical it almost felt like reading poetry. It was truly a lovely piece.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Warning - long reply approaching! - [info]dacro, 2009-09-01 04:56 am UTC
Re: Warning - long reply approaching! - [info]accioslash, 2009-09-01 02:44 pm UTC
Re: Warning - lots of love approaching! - [info]dacro, 2009-09-01 05:05 pm UTC

[info]montana_dan
2009-09-01 04:16 am UTC (link)
This one is next on my list. Woot. I'll be back.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-09-01 04:35 am UTC

[info]auntmuriel
2009-09-01 06:36 am UTC (link)
This was so engaging, I was instantly pulled into their world. It wasn't "here is lesson on ancient Egypt" but you managed to evoke the setting so well with just enough information. And yet retained the Snarryness - what an accomplishment. A lovely read.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-09-01 07:18 am UTC

[info]lilyseyes
2009-09-01 06:50 am UTC (link)
I loved the way Harry and Severus found each other and the progression of their relationship. Very nice!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-09-01 07:12 am UTC

[info]odogoddess
2009-09-01 08:48 am UTC (link)
Aw... such gentle, foreign & foreign-thinking, but still recognizable characters. :) Their view of magic was intriguing and their use of it fitting to both character and story. I was expecting some hatred-driven and exhilarating escape, but was glad for the unexpectedly gentle, hopeful promise of a devoted and useful future for them both.

Brava! Well done!

clapping

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-09-01 09:17 am UTC

[info]plantinshadows
2009-09-01 09:53 am UTC (link)
great read! I love the ancient civilisations! I'd love to read about their travels together and maybe some smut?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-09-01 04:21 pm UTC

[info]venturous
2009-09-01 02:59 pm UTC (link)
I completely adore this. Written so perfectly that I became completely absorbed in the wonder of this odd world. your language dod such a good job of this. as an artist, I ahve no idea how you did it, and dont care, since the way it carried me was so blissful.

the scene where they survived the fire was so completely devastating, intimate, erotic and powerful, and not a smidgen of actual smut to be found. wow.

Beautiful. amazing. are you sure you're not a Cauldron?

;-)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-09-01 04:38 pm UTC

[info]themostepotente
2009-09-01 10:27 pm UTC (link)
LOVED. LOVED. LOVED. Shall definitely be reccing. Your stories are always so fresh and original.

I just have one question for you. Jules. Am very curious as to why you didn't give Severus a different name?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-09-02 01:59 am UTC

[info]ivylady
2009-09-02 02:13 am UTC (link)
Lovely story! I have always been curious about ancient Egypt (had a slight obsession with it and its mythology as a child), so I was excited to see this story. I think you did a magnificent job of telling the story in a different setting but leaving Harry and Severus as themselves.

You also did a great job with giving the story life. When Severus told Harry about how he lost his power, I could imagine it really happening and fitting into canon. An enjoyable read from beginning to end.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dacro, 2009-09-02 05:45 am UTC

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