OPENING GAMES FREE-FOR-ALL CHALLENGE No. 18 from Reiko Katsura!
Our next free-for-all entry includes a ficlet, a drabble, a drawble, and a limerick!
Title: Hell Hath No Fury Like A Wizard Driver Author: Reiko Katsura Thing/Place/Action: Three-Legged Cat/Muggle Cinema+Car/Singing+reclining+shouting Type: Ficlet Rating/Warnings: T- For mention of sex and animal abuse Disclaimers: I do not own Harry Potter or its respective characters. No copyright infringement intended.
Harry Potter and his lover, Severus Snape, had been driving home from a Muggle cinema when something flashed in front of their car. Harry screamed, and clung onto Severus as he pressed his foot hastily onto the brake pedal and tried to stop. The car swerved, but thankfully stopped right before it hit a tree. The lovers sat there, panting heavily, and staring out onto the dark road before them.
"W-what was that?" Harry asked tentatively.
Severus opened his mouth to answer, but stopped when he heard the sound of singing. They looked at each other, and stepped out of the car quickly. The source of the singing was sitting in front of the car, reclining its back.
"Severus…don't tell me…." Harry started, but found that he couldn't continue the thought.
Severus nodded, and stared incredulously at the figure on the ground.
It was a cat. A three-legged cat. A three legged singing cat.
And it had almost caused Severus to crash his brand new Aston Martin into a tree.
Snape was angry.
Feeling the murderous intent emitting from his lover, Harry snatched onto Severus's robe and reeled him to his side.
"Don't, Severus," he chastised his former professor, "it's already injured. Plus, it's illegal for you to hurt an animal."
Severus snarled. "In what world?" he demanded.
"The Muggle world, for starters."
"Right." He gritted his teeth angrily. He didn't like the Muggle world. In fact he hated it. The only worthwhile thing that Muggles created was vehicles.
Like the 5,000 galleon Aston Martin that the damned crippled cat nearly cost him.
Oh yes, Severus Snape was very angry.
He grudgingly pulled Harry into the car, and waited for him to buckle his seat belt. He pushed his smooth black hair—because Harry forced him to wash his hair on a weekly basis, the cretin— behind his ears, fixed his mirrors, and started the engine. Before Harry could even ask what Snape was going to do, Severus stepped on the accelerator and drove.
There was a crunching sound, and a shrieking yowl, but Snape didn't look back. He forced back a grin so that it simply looked like a smirk, and absolutely refused to look at Harry, who he knew was probably staring at him in horror.
"Y-y-y-you! Oh, Merlin, Severus, you ran over a cat!"
Severus snorted indifferently.
"I told you not to hurt it!" Harry shouted.
Snape turned to him, his eyes steady, and corrected his young, caring lover. "And I didn't," he said slowly, before he turned his gaze back to the road in front of them. "I killed it."
From the corner of his eye, he could see Harry gaping at him.
"You're…you're evil!"
Snape sighed. "Are you quite done, Harry?"
The rest of the ride was spent with Harry grumbling about cat-killing lunatics, and Snape wondering if Harry would still have sex with him that night—that, and whether there was blood on his precious, new car.
Title: 489 Galleons Short Author: Reiko Katsura Thing/Place/Action: Naughty Picture/ Street Corner/ Choking+Walking Type: Drabble Rating/Warnings: T—For naughty intentions Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its respective characters. No copyright infringement intended.
"How much?"
Harry Potter had been walking down Knockturn Alley, only slightly drunk from hanging out with his friends, when he saw the sexiest, most lewd man he'd ever seen standing at the street corner. Now, despite what most thought about him, he wasn't innocent—he knew perfectly well what a prostitute was, having paid for one before.
"For you," the man with sexy, greasy hair and black eyes purred, "500 galleons."
Harry cursed. He was only 489 galleons short.
"How much for a naughty picture, then?"
The man looked at him, coughed, and shook his head.
Harry sighed, dejected.
Title: Sexual Hangover Artist: Reiko Katsura Thing/Place/Action: Wand/ Street Corner/Yawning+Walking Type: Drawble Rating/Warnings: T—for mention of randy-ness Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or its respective characters. No copyright infringement intended. A/N: This took me a lot less than an hour… and I'm sure you can pretty much tell. It was fun, though.
Title: Nudist Artist: Reiko Katsura Thing/Place/Action: Moldy Fruit+Naughty Picture/Muggle Cinema/ Washing+Coughing Type: Limerick Rating/Warnings: T—for mention of sexy nudity and uncontrollable body reactions Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or its respective characters. No copyright infringement intended.
A moldy fruit sat on the table Harry was washing,
When Severus walked in the kitchen, he started coughing,
"What are you wearing" he gasped, the feel of a rising erection,
Harry looked like a naughty picture; porn in Muggle cinema; Perfection.
He smiled, wiggled his arse, and said-- "Nothing."