Tweak

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Tweak says, "SQUISHY!"

snarrymod (snarrymod) wrote in snarry_games,
@ 2008-05-07 08:10:00

Entry tags:

entry, tarteaucitron, team phoenix

TEAM PHOENIX ENTRY: Tarteaucitron "Look for me here"
Title: Look for me here
Author: tarteaucitron
Team: Phoenix
Genres: Wartime, Postwar
Prompt: Treasure Hunt
Rating/Warnings: NC17; *warning for: total departure from epilogue canon, slight suggestion of previous partnerships, language.*
Word Count: 22,497
Summary: It is the fag-end of the Death Eater trials. Despite some initial reluctance, Auror Investigator Potter finds that his last assigned case gives him something to get his teeth into.
A/N: thank you to everyone who looked at or beta'd this fic, and to everyone who provided encouragement, especially fitofpique, buckle_berry, algernon_mouse, and all at Team Phoenix.

"Look for me here by Tarteaucitron"

Don't forget to review!

Mod note: POLLS ARE NOW CLOSED. THANK YOU FOR PARTICIPATING IN THE SNARRY GAMES.

Mod note: If you rec this story, please link to this POST, not the story itself, or the author/team will not get their proper vote tally or feedback. Thank you.

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	(Anonymous) 2008-05-07 12:28 pm UTC (link)
	Loved this. So very fresh and original. (Reply to this) (Thread)

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-08 06:27 am UTC

	plantinshadows 2008-05-07 12:57 pm UTC (link)
	haha I loved this line: "You're touching my orange." it sounds positively indecent! interesting idea.. snape hiding in azkaban of free will. otherwise I must admit to being confused from time to time, but then, that might just be me.. nice one. (Reply to this) (Thread)

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-08 06:30 am UTC

	centaury_squill 2008-05-07 01:13 pm UTC (link)
	Funny, I'd never considered what happy memory Snape used to conjure his Patronus in the Forest of Dean. You made it seem inevitable. Wonderful fic. Just as well I can't vote; I'd be giving top points to the opposition. (Reply to this) (Thread)

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-08 06:33 am UTC

centaury_squill, 2008-05-08 06:44 am UTC

	alisanne 2008-05-07 01:32 pm UTC (link)
	That was a really original and thoughtful story. You really captured Snape's dry tone and I like the mature way you wrote Harry here. The Dementor skewered by Harry's Patronus was a nice visual. g The verdict was a surprise, I have to say. I giggled when it was so grudgingly accepted. :) Well done! Yay Team Phoenix! (Reply to this) (Thread)

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-08 06:36 am UTC

dracofiend
2008-05-07 01:32 pm UTC (link)

Wow, that was really something! It left me dizzy, a little disoriented, and completely in love with Snape...kind of the way I imagine Harry feels at the end. Your language was beautiful--foaling horse? cluthing a letter like a moth by the wing? a button that wobbles like a loose tooth? I mean, amazing! :D And the stark pairing of Azkaban/Dementors/liquid depressant with those brilliant flashes of hilarity (MBNA family! Snape's collection of wigs! don't touch my orange!) was perfect. I loved the relatively quiet characterization of Snape and the kind of off-kilter, not-especially-bright Harry. Your dialogue, too, flowed with a natural rhythm--that is to say, often without any at all. It so realistic though. I'm thinking creme fraiche. Snape's concordance, with his descriptions of the figures, and his empiricism, and his matter of factness all around--it all fit together so wonderfully. I totally laughed at the Accio two lunches. Can they do that?? I mean, the poor oil riggers! :D I can just picture Harry's look of delight (tempered by the depressant, of course) when he discovers his scotch egg.

Dumbledore's remark about Severus not being a man of keys and the bird at the end wrap it up well enough for me, though I admit I wouldn't be averse to seeing Harry in Iceland. :) But really, this is perfect--a gorgeously textured response to the prompt!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-08 06:44 am UTC

dracofiend, 2008-05-09 07:09 am UTC

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-10 04:48 am UTC

dracofiend, 2008-05-12 12:36 am UTC

	salvadora 2008-05-07 02:28 pm UTC (link)
	Do let me show you my collection of wigs and my open ticket to Iceland! FINALLY! Someone writes a line like this! I squee'd and lol'd. (Reply to this) (Thread)

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-08 06:45 am UTC

fitofpique
2008-05-07 03:42 pm UTC (link)

i cannot describe how happy this story makes me, tarte. i am grinning and grinning. i am so impressed with the way you tied everything together at the end. you wove all the threads together beautifully.

many things filled me with utter delight and love on this reading, but i'll stick with the things in Part 2 that i haven't already commented on.

Another snapshot. Snape is laughing. Harry dumped down so close to him, he can hardly make out his age. Not a chuckle, not a smirk, he is laughing properly. Laughing hard. He is bent over, hair swinging forward. His eyes are wet at the corners. Harry almost laughs himself. His cheeks heat with surprise.

like all of your writing this is incredibly subtle, but i found it so moving.

Do let me show you my collection of wigs and my open ticket to Iceland!

HEE! hilarious!

i also lol-ed at Harry's accute awareness of his crotch at the mere mention of sex.

and the sex scene. i am all feverish! this was my favourite line:

...his hand stroking and clutching and twisting at Harry's cock, both of them breathing in time with it, like they were trying to inflate Azkaban's only lifeboat.

what an amazing simile! you are so very good.

and of course, "Fuck me anyway." was just INSANELY, RIDICULOUSLY HOT. omg!

i love the not really all that ambiguous ending as well, particularly this line.

I knew it would work: the smallest nudge and the boy can't help but grab on and follow.

those last two scenes are utterly gorgeous! i'm a bit teary, to be honest, but this story is just so lovely and hopeful and subtle and clever and original. you did a brilliant job. if I could vote it would be 10 out of 9 across the board. perfect plus.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-08 06:52 am UTC

gaycrow
2008-05-07 05:37 pm UTC (link)

Apart from all the new Snarry stories we're getting to read, one of the best things about these Snarry Games for me is the different kinds of stories that are being posted. There are plots, and character interpretations, and settings that I've not seen before, and I'm enjoying that very much.

Your story's another one that falls into this category. I don't think I've seen a deserted Azkaban before, and especially one where Snape's hiding out. You've written this brilliantly. I could feel the heavy weight and freezing cold that Harry experienced as soon as he walked in. Everything seemed so dark and depressing, even without Harry's repressing potion. The fact that Snape has had to remove all (and how sad that there seemed to be so few) his happy memories to live there is heartbreaking.

This was hard to read in places - there were things I found confusing. What was the significance of the letter with the Gellert Grindelwald reference, and why did it make Harry furious? Is that incident reflecting something from canon? I read the last book so quickly that perhaps I've forgotten it ... my memory's terrible! So my confusion is probably all my own fault there.

There are many things that I think are particularly good, which outweigh the puzzlement. I love the way you intersperse the story with Snape's search through the woods. The writing there was again exceptionally good - I could feel and see Snape perfectly, and loved the way he produced his Patronus. I liked the way Snape's wards at Spinner's End kept reinforcing themselves, and that Harry had to keep calling on Bill to help out. Your Harry isn't exceptionally powerful and clever, and as much as I like a non-canon powerful!Harry, it's realistic to see him like this.

I really liked the ending. I felt happy again, seeing Snape's new Patronus. That was a really lovely touch.

I found this to be a story that I haven't stopped thinking about. I wasn't sure how to write a comment, but I wanted to let you know how strong an impression it's left on me. Since I've read so many Snarry stories, that's quite an acomplishment. :-)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

I need the edit button! -

gaycrow, 2008-05-08 12:46 am UTC

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-08 07:00 am UTC

josan
2008-05-07 06:49 pm UTC (link)

"Dementors are not attracted by magic, Potter. They are attracted by happiness. Not to be melodramatic, but I fall somewhat under their radar."

OUCH! That was painful to admit and painful to hear.

Snape hiding in Azkaban...with the Dementors...WOW!

I loved how Bill had to come to the rescue...and how he enjoyed it. Hermione and Ron...the letter that wins the day...and the phoenix patronus...Iceland...

I recently viewed "Beowulf & Grendel", starring a pudgy, definitely pre-300 Gerald Butler and the only thing worth watching in that was the scenery of Iceland... and now that you point it out, it's a very fitting locale for one Severus Snape. I hope he and Harry ride the ponies (the other thing worthwhile in that film) and find a nice, warm, cosy place to live.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-08 04:00 pm UTC

torino10154
2008-05-07 08:24 pm UTC (link)

I'd really just like to quote

dracofiend's comment as I think it matches perfectly how I felt about this fic. But I will attempt to make some of my own comments. ;)

Azkaban-what a totally incredible and yet sad place for Snape to be. And having to keep giving Harry depressants! Lovely sex scene-awesome how Harry 'recovers' saying "Fuck me anyway". *g* I loved the journey to find Harry in the Forest of Dean-what a brilliant recollection to weave throughout the story. Bill's role was great-even in just a few lines, he gained dimension for me. But from when Harry goes back to find Snape gone all the way through to the end-just wonderful, so suspenseful. I probably will read this again and see what I missed. Great job.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-08 04:04 pm UTC

	zephyr_macabee 2008-05-07 09:15 pm UTC (link)
	Very creative story, I like your descriptions, I can clearly envision the places and things you describe. I loved the accioed lunches, no wonder Snape is so thin. (Reply to this) (Thread)

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-08 04:06 pm UTC

telwyrd
2008-05-07 09:23 pm UTC (link)

An excellent story! Most enjoyable! Wonderfully written!

The story conveyed such vivid imagery:

tiny dark house breathed of Snape, cold and dismissive, with the musty stink of the dungeons

The staircase led to a huge circular space where the plaster seemed to melt from the walls with the sheer hopelessness of staying stuck. The room stretched up for what looked like hundreds of metres of crushing misery, spiralling into the bleak upper quarters of Azkaban, where the Dementors were corralled

but the day was bright and sheer, and the sea glittered

Snape was standing looking out to sea. Robeless, he looked thinner. The sun shone through the cotton of his shirt lining his arms and the bones of his elbows.

Lovely descriptions!

in the face of her omniscient squint.

::snerks:: Ah yes, it was always Hermione who seemingly possessed all the smarts.

"A concordance."

"Occlumency; antidotes, cupboardfuls of them, taken prophylactically; blood-charming spells, blood-clotting spells, blood-replicating spells; drafts – living death, dreamless sleep, confuddlement; lies – millions upon millions; aliases; false fucking passports." His nostrils flared. "Prepared to ensure my continued existence at whatever cost to my professional pride and quality of life, as you can see. Perhaps you would also like to hear in detail about plans B, C and D? Do let me show you my collection of wigs and my open ticket to Iceland!"

Wootwootwoot! Snape totally pwns in this story, writing up a concordance, holing up in an abandoned and Dementor-riddled Azkaban – having first rid himself of all his happy memories – and stealing lunches from the oil rig workers. Hehhh. I ♥ snarky, erudite Snape. Oh! And his new patronus was fantastic!

I liked Harry’s patient persistence in tracking down Snape despite all of Snape’s efforts at concealment. Good on him!

This was a great story with such rich details. Well done!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-08 04:13 pm UTC

	snarry_fan7 2008-05-07 11:28 pm UTC (link)
	A very interesting and original story. Snape hiding in Azkaban is definitely different. Excellent work!~Sophia (Reply to this) (Thread)

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-08 04:14 pm UTC

	joanwilder 2008-05-07 11:31 pm UTC (link)
	What a great mystery story, one with loads of new magical theory and innovations. I was intrigued, especially by the concept of magic as an aptitude. You enthralled me for an entire evening, time well-spent. (Reply to this) (Thread)

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-08 04:16 pm UTC

	simons_flower 2008-05-07 11:40 pm UTC (link)
	Snape hiding in Azkaban was an ingenious idea. I found myself puzzled and a bit lost when Harry and Snape seemed to fall into bed, so to speak. I think I missed something. I did find myself rooting for Harry in the end -- and hoping he checks a map before Apparating :) (Reply to this) (Thread)

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-08 04:19 pm UTC

svartalfur
2008-05-08 02:58 am UTC (link)

Awesome. I love everything about this fic, most of all the quality of the writing and the humour. Or maybe I love Snape most, Snape and his few happy memories that go to the Dementors at the end. I love how you synchronised the past (Harry following the doe) and the present (Harry following the bird) to a hopeful ending. Thank you so much for sharing your brilliant story with us!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-08 04:22 pm UTC

schemingreader
2008-05-08 05:05 am UTC (link)

Your writing is always so beautiful on the level of sentences that it's exciting just to read it. It's great to have fresh takes on the physical responses of arousal without sacrificing the sense of urgency.

I also loved how Harry tries to keep from listening to the things Hermione thinks are important because they might crowd out something he really needs to know! I loved Snape's hidden room with a hidden room at the back. The central concept of the story, the idea that Snape is hiding in Azkaban and has to keep from being happy to stave off dementor attack, seems to me like a parallel of canon. There's always some reason that Snape has to stop himself from being happy.

I'm sure I have more to say about how much I enjoyed this, but I'll have to content myself with this.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-08 04:26 pm UTC

	(Anonymous) 2008-05-08 07:30 am UTC (link)
	Atmospheric, vivid and utterly compelling. I absolutely adored it. (Reply to this) (Thread)

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-08 04:27 pm UTC

	treewishes 2008-05-08 07:23 pm UTC (link)
	Dark and delicious! It really drew me in with the layers on layers of mystery and despair -- until the line where Dumbledore asks about the key and it all clicked. Just marvelous! (Reply to this) (Thread)

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-10 04:24 am UTC

	lalaith_niniel 2008-05-09 01:41 am UTC (link)
	What a great story! The incorporation of Snape into the DH timeline was so seamless, made so much sense. The awkward sex was great, with Harry so demanding! You have a way with descriptions that made the world around Harry so vivid; from Spinner's End to Azkaban, it all seemed so real. (Reply to this) (Thread)

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-10 04:26 am UTC

	klynie1 2008-05-09 04:15 pm UTC (link)
	So interesting - a very unique premise. I love quest stories, and what I really like about this one is that several quests are nested inside each other like little carved ivory balls. (Reply to this) (Thread)

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-10 04:30 am UTC

ariadneelda
2008-05-09 04:49 pm UTC (link)

Loved this! What a wonderful fic. Snape hiding in Azkaban was really original. I just loved the creepiness of the setting and the darkness of the story and the mystery of the plot. Great characterisations, too. I loved, loved, loved Snape especially. (What can I say? I'm biased! Heh.) He felt very canon to me. But Harry as well. And oh, the sex! The sex was hot. I also loved the Snape POV parts and how you weaved them into the rest of the story and what memory Snape recalled to cast his doe Patronus in the forest and how his Patronus changed at the end and the hopeful ending. Your writing was really beautiful and evocative and your descriptions very vivid. Fantastic story. :-)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-10 04:36 am UTC

	ziasudra 2008-05-10 01:13 am UTC (link)
	This was such an atmospheric fic! Azkaban as a hiding place and depression potion? These are such original (and genius) ideas. I loved the little details: Accio-ing lunches from hapless Muggles, "You're touching my orange" g, the end where they climbed out to the rock, and many more. Nicely done! (Reply to this) (Thread)

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-10 04:39 am UTC

	giddy_london 2008-05-10 09:51 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, Tarte! I have no words for how much I love this! I adore the thought of Snape hiding in Azkaban and your description of him not as dark, but as "gloomy round the edges," and the "Fuck me anyway" was amazing. I'm so glad I saved this to read so I could sit down and get lost in your wonderful words and images. ♥♥♥ (Reply to this) (Thread)

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-12 12:51 am UTC

	eonen 2008-05-12 05:54 am UTC (link)
	Incredibly well-written, grave and humorous and just all in all lovely. Thanks very much. (Reply to this) (Thread)

tarteaucitron, 2008-05-12 04:44 pm UTC

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