Oh, hon, thank you for your incredibly thoughtful comment. You've expressed in a few words what it took me to express in thousands.
I really, really debated whether I should take Harry to the place that I took him. But it seemed like a very possible, in fact, pretty plausible, course for him to take, given his personal history and simple human nature. We all want, we all take, we're all selfish. Harry tried and tried to repress that part of himself, so when it finally broke through to his conscious mind, I figured it would have a pretty profound and life-changing effect on him. Would he then try to be heroic and self-sacrificing and put his family first? Or would he say, 'damn. I fucked up. None of us are ever going to be really happy again, no matter what I do. Maybe it would be better for me to just go away and let us all get on with our lives.' Yes, that entire rationalization would be more self-justification on his part, but isn't that what we all do anyway, at one time or another? I personally never want to see Harry like this, yet once I started thinking about it, I was really fascinated by the idea of portraying Harry as just another person like the rest of us.