You make intense look easy. I mean, that was really jolting, really awakening, in unexpected moments, but at the same time it was lulling and soothing and introspective and quiet. You do it so well! I love the way you turn a word. My favorite lines:
Shock, when it doesn't lead to a sticky end or have dreadful consequences attached to it, is a very effective motivator, Harry knows. He pulls the collar down, lifts his lips, and surrenders his motivation to Snape's mouth.
The sudden slowdown from the previous sentences, from the whole scene, with that first word, shock, said so musingly, was perfectly timed. I really liked that.
Maybe he's floated to the cot, or flown, or Apparated, because the next thing Harry knows he's swept under Snape, who lies on top of him, snogging the breath out of him. In reality, things usually never turn out the way Harry imagines them so he's surprised when the impatience wells up over his head and drags him under, makes the buttons pop off and fly in all directions and the robes pile up on the floor. It feels like deja vu when Snape shuffles Harry around onto his back. A stray sock's stuck to his right buttock so he peels it off and flings it away just as Snape lands on top of him.
Beautiful pacing here--I was totally swept along by the sudden upshift in the rhythm, the popping off buttons and the still pile of robes--the stray sock that always finds its way to the inconvenient places--it's so fast and so real!
Harry laughs even more, marvelling at the alchemy of this man's presence on his mood, at the quicksilver nature of his temperament when he's around Snape. Snape shuts down this line of thought by pulling Harry down and sealing his mouth over Harry's.
Oh, the alchemy! The quicksilver! Your words are beautiful without being out of reach; I feel completely in sync with Harry at this moment!
And a final thing I have to add--I appreciated the twist on their situations...I've read plenty of fics where Harry's lost his motivation and Snape regains it for him. You switched that around seamlessly, believeably and best of all, you did the entire thing without wasting a moment or belaboring the point, which is sheer genius magic. ♥