"I've got to find him! Hermione, where should I start?"
Turn your head a little to the left?
"He might not want to see you, mate," Weasley said warily. "He hates us."
Only moderately.
This little bit of dialogue is so grand.
You chose an excellent animagus form for Severus, all prickly and venomous and then you gave the scorpion such a snarky internal voice. I could not wait to see what he was going to say. All your characters voices were quite fitting. You caught my view of Molly very well, the interfering mother trying to run her children's lives for them (all very lovingly of course).