Tweak

InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "My milkshakes..."

snarrymod (snarrymod) wrote in snarry_games,
@ 2008-04-24 20:49:00

Entry tags:

entry, schemingreader, team dragon

TEAM DRAGON ENTRY: SchemingReader "Benefits"
Title: Benefits
Author: schemingreader
Team: Dragon
Genre: Postwar, Hurt/Comfort
Prompt: Ritual
Ratings/Warnings/Kinks: NC-17
Word Count: 9,629
Summary: Harry dreams that Snape is alive and needs his help. But can Snape survive Harry's 'saving people thing'?
A/N: Thanks to rexluscus , timetiger, scrtkpr, regan_v, and fitofpique for reading and commenting. I apologize for anything they advised me to do that I didn't and that you wish I had, and for any other errors.

"Benefits by Schemingreader"

Don't forget to review!

Mod note: POLLS ARE NOW CLOSED. THANK YOU FOR PARTICIPATING IN THE SNARRY GAMES.

Mod note: If you rec this story, please link to this POST, not the story itself, or the author/team will not get their proper vote tally or feedback. Thank you.

Page 1 of 4
<<	[1] [2] [3] [4]	>>

(Post a new comment)

miriravan
2008-04-25 04:55 am UTC (link)

This is such an appealing combination of laugh out loud funny--Harry's plaintive refrain of 'I've been busy', Luna's excitement over her and Hermione's visit to the library, Ron packing Harry's things for him--and moving--Harry wondering why he had to know the 'jealous, bitter ones' and not his mother, Snape repeating that he doesn't love--or even like--Harry as he sighs in contentment and curls up with him.

I love that you had Ron and Hermione and Luna in the story, and that Luna is as batty and wise as ever. I love that the three of them simply jump in and help Harry figure out what needs to be done, and that Harry is so *Harry-like*, ploughing forward to save Snape even when he doesn't half know what's going on.

Thanks for writing.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

schemingreader, 2008-04-25 05:06 am UTC

	kabbers 2008-04-25 05:11 am UTC (link)
	I really like this story. I especially like how Snape keeps saying he doesnt love Harry. It leaves me sad, but also hopeful. Perhaps he will eventaually realizes that is not the truth. Great story! (Reply to this) (Thread)

schemingreader, 2008-04-25 09:55 am UTC

alisanne
2008-04-25 05:23 am UTC (link)

Oh, that was cute!
Clueless!Harry is always appealing, and I loved his inner voice here, especially his observations about Ron. And the whole "yes, people really do this" thing was hilarious!
I enjoyed Snape being his usual difficult self, heh, and yet managing to cut Harry some slack (the least he could do since Harry was offering himself up for 'buggery'). *g*
You have some funny lines in this, and at several points I had to stop and laugh. Luna was great as well, so matter of fact about the sex and her role in Ron and Hermione's relationship.
Thank you for this. :)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

schemingreader, 2008-04-25 09:57 am UTC

ivylady
2008-04-25 05:29 am UTC (link)

I enjoyed this story. I laughed so hard at some points. Luna is hilarious. She's still batty, but so forward and commanding. The friends with benefits thing she has going with Ron and Hermione must be giving her new confidence. The way they take over Snape's house and plan everything is amusing.

Clueless!Harry has to be one of my favorite kinks. I love that he just jumped in to help without really knowing what he was doing. The consequences, while seemingly dire, were enjoyable to all.

The end was great. While Snape kept repeating that he didn't love Harry, I got the feeling he was saying that to remind himself not to fall in love. As if he kept protesting, it wouldn't happen in the future. Well done.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

schemingreader, 2008-04-25 10:04 am UTC

	themadscriptor 2008-04-25 05:30 am UTC (link)
	I liked this very much. :) Culinary-whiz!Ron made me grin, and Luna's line about multiple orgasms made me laugh (along with several other lines). Also, kudos to you for not sidestepping the "Lily issue." Great job! (Reply to this) (Thread)

schemingreader, 2008-04-25 10:05 am UTC

simons_flower
2008-04-25 06:05 am UTC (link)

I think I'm going to end up spending most of the Games saying "Poor Harry" because I'm doing it again with this fic.

Poor Harry, so utterly, completely innocent. And Ron with his mini-harem. I like how you used the friendship here to contrast with Snape's behavior and personality. The thing that really got me though, was the pseudo-stand-in of Harry for Lily, despite Snape knowing it was Harry. I hope that makes sense.

Lovely job.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

schemingreader, 2008-04-25 10:32 am UTC

telwyrd
2008-04-25 06:05 am UTC (link)

This was a lovely story with surprising moments of humor (multiple orgasms?! o_O ) interspersed with more serious moments (Snape and Harry dealing with the repercussions of the Beneficus).

Harry was a bit dim yet determined, as ever, to do the right thing.

Snape was his usual bitter and difficult self.

Hermione was self-assured and full of plans.

Ron was a good cook and a more-or-less supportive friend.

Luna was loony yet also wise.

And in the end, they managed to accomplish their goal - saving Snape's life. Boo-yaaah!

Well done!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

schemingreader, 2008-04-25 10:38 am UTC

	allika 2008-04-25 06:25 am UTC (link)
	That was truly a lovely story. Your style of writing is a bit unusual to me, but it worked very well with the story. Harry was wonderful, and the sex scene was both hot and sweet, and that last bit just made me shiver. (Reply to this) (Thread)

schemingreader, 2008-04-25 10:39 am UTC

	ex_lilyseyes671 2008-04-25 06:34 am UTC (link)
	I love your Luna!! And your story - hilarious with snarky sweetness! (Reply to this) (Thread)

schemingreader, 2008-04-25 10:40 am UTC

	sev1970 2008-04-25 06:58 am UTC (link)
	Oh this was all kinds of wonderful! Luna with her quirkiness, and Harry with his aloofness (which was adorable) made me laugh throughout. And I really liked the way Luna explained to Harry why Ron and Hermione would not sleep with him. Then there is Snape -- perfectly snarky and closed-off to everyone. This was a joy to read! (Reply to this)

joanwilder
2008-04-25 07:07 am UTC (link)

"Entrance!" Ron repeated. "I'm going to do the washing up."

"It's like a date," Ron said, "Except not with someone nice."

There are lots of Snarrys where I find Harry's friends annoying, but not in this one. All three of them shone; Luna's sexual liberation was hilarious, and Ron's one-liners made me laugh out loud.

Why had he known them, the jealous, bitter ones, and not her, the one who wanted only to make things bloom?

Truly. What a question, and so achingly put.

I love the sparseness of your writing style, and how, because of it, everything--your description and your characterization--stands out starkly. Harry didn't have a clue about sex with a man, but I found him strangely precocious all the same, in his reactions to Snape's declarations at the end of the story. I think Harry understands Snape better than anyone, and the conclusion made me happy.

Superbly done, Dragon! ROAR!!!!!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

schemingreader, 2008-04-25 11:21 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2008-04-25 08:12 am UTC (link)

Hee! This was lovely! Harry and his desire to do the right thing, compulsively, being felled by his lack of practical everyday knowledge. Helped out, as always, by Hermione and Ron. I really liked your portrayal of Hermione and Ron. A lot more teasing and tolerant than they can be, and willing to laugh at Harry's idiocy. It's obviously the effect of Luna on them. Luna was, as always, fantastic. She was so giddy about the library!

- Liseuse.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

schemingreader, 2008-04-25 11:22 am UTC

	svartalfur 2008-04-25 08:22 am UTC (link)
	I enjoyed this very much. The whole story has a dream-like quality. Harry's naivete, Luna's advice and the fairy-tale like writing style are a clever combination to achieve just that. Excellent job! (Reply to this) (Thread)

schemingreader, 2008-04-25 11:26 am UTC

svartalfur, 2008-04-25 12:42 pm UTC

schemingreader, 2008-04-25 01:05 pm UTC

svartalfur, 2008-04-25 03:07 pm UTC

gaycrow
2008-04-25 09:10 am UTC (link)

Oh, I really like this. It has some of my bullet-proof kinks:

Harry not realising he likes men, Harry's first time; Harry loving kissing;

"A blowjob, Harry."

"Yeah, right," Harry said. "Like people really do that."

... Harry being clueless; :D

Snape (having) tremendous self-control, except sometimes when he didn't.;

and finally

"Because I don't even like you." Snape's spine slowly relaxed into the curve of Harry's torso, making spoons, and he exhaled through his nose, a contented sound. "I don't."

Yeah, riiiiight.

I LOVE it!

This story is one to print off and save. ♥

(Reply to this) (Thread)

schemingreader, 2008-04-25 11:56 am UTC

	centaury_squill 2008-04-25 09:56 am UTC (link)
	A fun read with some great one-liners. I loved Luna in this, and Harry's first-time sex with Snape was smokin'! "Benefits", yes indeed. (Reply to this) (Thread)

schemingreader, 2008-04-25 12:38 pm UTC

lalaith_niniel
2008-04-25 10:05 am UTC (link)

I really don't think I should have read this before going to bed, because I'm now full of laughter and energy and bubblyness.

I loved the approach to Ron, Hermione, and Luna that you took, and that I can really see them as teenagers here, not little adults. Their unashamed entry into other people's business really rang true for their age group.

Luna was absolutely priceless. Her frankness was so endearing that I couldn't help but love her, and her interest in the library and computers and hammering.

I love that the end wasn't all roses, that there was still going to be a great deal for Harry and Severus to work through.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

schemingreader, 2008-04-25 12:40 pm UTC

ashenv
2008-04-25 10:46 am UTC (link)

Oh I loved it, really enjoyed reading it! Harry's innocence made me laugh and laugh, plus his typical plowing ahead with what needs to be done and Ron and his two girls, but especially Luna, wonderful writing there, I love her as a friend who guides them. Severus was just perfect, with his refusal to admit that Harry is a replacement in a way perhaps.

The whole story had this lovely, dreamy feel to me, oh and this was my favorite part, this sentence really did me in:

Why had he known them, the jealous, bitter ones, and not her, the one who wanted only to make things bloom?

Anyway, thank you my dear, wonderful fic!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

schemingreader, 2008-04-25 12:42 pm UTC

	florida_minxie 2008-04-25 11:07 am UTC (link)
	claps A lovely tale, indeed! Luna was almost too much... snicker (Reply to this) (Thread)

schemingreader, 2008-04-25 12:44 pm UTC

	lolitaray 2008-04-25 11:46 am UTC (link)
	I totally loved this, especially the ending. :) Beautifully written! (Reply to this) (Thread)

schemingreader, 2008-04-25 12:45 pm UTC

torino10154
2008-04-25 12:28 pm UTC (link)

What a lovely story. I adored Ron cooking (as between him and Hermione that does make sense). Luna is so perfect. I just loved when the three of them pretty much just took Harry to Spinner's End. And Snape-yeah, you don't like Harry at all. *snort* I really feel like this is a possible start to their post-war relationship with Harry wanting to get to know him, glad he could save him this time, and Snape pretending he doesn't care about him but somewhere deep inside he does. Lovely story.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

schemingreader, 2008-04-25 12:48 pm UTC

	cluegirl 2008-04-25 01:05 pm UTC (link)
	Okay, I'm a total sucker for Declaration By Denial. Very well done here. (Reply to this) (Thread)

schemingreader, 2008-04-25 01:08 pm UTC

	fbowden 2008-04-25 01:11 pm UTC (link)
	Hehe, lovely! Self denial!Snape and Clueless!Harry, wonderful! The sex was hot, the snark was fantastic and I laughed out loud at Luna particularly. What a wonderfully funny, flangsty little fic! (Reply to this) (Thread)

schemingreader, 2008-04-25 01:17 pm UTC

	estioe 2008-04-25 01:27 pm UTC (link)
	I loved the Ron/Hermione/Three threesome here. Now that was interesting! Clueless Harry and In Denial Severus. Awesome mix! :D (Reply to this) (Thread)

estioe, 2008-04-25 01:27 pm UTC

schemingreader, 2008-04-25 01:32 pm UTC

	klynie1 2008-04-25 01:58 pm UTC (link)
	I enjoyed this story very much. You made all of the friendships come alive. But I think I liked Harry's cluelessness the best, not only about the sex, but about the spell he created, about his dreams, about the nature of not-loving. The ending was perfect. Very nicely done. (Reply to this) (Thread)

schemingreader, 2008-04-25 02:04 pm UTC

scrtkpr
2008-04-25 02:42 pm UTC (link)

All right, you know that this isn't my typical pairing, but this was such an enjoyable read.

For one thing, there were so many humorous details, like this one:

"It's like a date," Ron said, "Except not with someone nice."

LOL!

And Snape's sarcastic kissing? That's brilliant! Really, even the title is clever, hinting at both the "friends with benefits" arrangement that Harry had been overlooking in his own home and the one he's begun with Snape by the end of the fic.

I really enjoyed the characterizations, and the way in which you touched on canon issues between the characters was really moving:

"You know, Professor, I tried that the last time," Harry said slowly. "I let you give me what I needed, and I let you die. I don't think I could live with myself if I did that again."

There were also some really gorgeous and detailed descriptions, like this one that immediately followed:

Though Snape's hair was already lank again, Harry pushed it away from his face. It wasn't long, sweet-smelling hair. Snape's eyes didn't shine adoringly up at him or anything like that--he was still taller than Harry, a beaky man with bushy eyebrows. He would never be a pretty girl, but he could kiss so that Harry felt that he was the only real thing in the world, so that Harry's consciousness shrunk to his body where it touched Snape's: at the fluent tongue, the soft, thin lips, the arms, like tensile metal bands around his body.

And the ending in particular was just lovely. ♥

(Reply to this) (Thread)

schemingreader, 2008-04-25 02:53 pm UTC

scrtkpr, 2008-04-25 02:59 pm UTC

Page 1 of 4
<<	[1] [2] [3] [4]	>>