Challenge #135: For This Relief, Much Thanks
Title: For this relief, much thanks (Hamlet, Act 1, Scene 1)
Author: Ina MacAllan inamac
Word Count: 100x2 (Double Drabble)
Rating: R
Challenge 135: Nightstand
Warning(s): Implied slash (sexual). Actual slash (urological)
Author's Note With thanks to the_con_cept for inspiration and with my abject apologies for snark, puns and pedantry.

~~~~~

Despite Harry's care, the creak of the bedroom door hinges woke Snape.

"Where are you going?"

"I need the toilet."

"Don't be stupid. It's pissing down out there. Use the guzunder."

"What?"

"The chamber pot."

"Oh." Harry bent and peered under the bed. There was nothing but a layer of grey fluff. He sneezed.

Snape sighed. "It's under the nightstand."

"It's called a 'guzunder' because it 'goes under' the bed. Naturally that was where I expected to find it. What's a 'nightstand'?"

"That." Snape rose and pointed at a piece of Victorian furniture against the far wall of the room.

****

Harry turned to examine it. The curled wrought-iron legs supported a marble top on which stood a large ceramic bowl and a pot-bellied water jug. Below, on a low shelf, stood the matching chamber pot. All three pieces were decorated with what appeared to be a swirl of overgrown pale green cabbages.

It was no good, Harry decided, as he hurriedly released his pyjama cord and relieved himself into the antique receptacle, he was going to have to introduce Severus to the concept of Muggle plumbing. No one in this day and age still kept a nightstand in their bedroom.

The End

(Next: Harry and Severus visit Ikea...)