I am so grateful for Argus to have shoved his oar in and demanded to be part of this! His voice and POV are delightful; I love his consistent handling of grammatical number, and how you explain his preference for the purely visual in such a way that one really can't scoff at him for watching (especially given what you let he lets us participate in).
Then there's your great characterisation – tongue-flicking Dolores the Toad, Argus who even likes to keep a clean castle while masturbating, mysterious Severus and not-so-surprisingly sexy Minerva (as well as the believable, spot-on dynamics between them). Hogwarts as a female supportive character who allows Argus into her Room of Requirement (and who knows when to end the last peep show) is a sweet touch. And I marvel at your way with names. Alma the mater and Panoptes the Watcher – indeed.
--They tormented Mrs Norris every chance they got. -- This is great. Such a simple addition that shows that his exasperation with the pranksters isn't all that unjustified. --just the sight of her, and Minerva McGonagall crackled with so much angry magic that Argus kept expecting to see scorch marks on her chairs. -- What an image! --Fudge generally acted like Argus were one o' them heathen servants in the old movies his aunt used to watch on telly, the kind what wore turbans and was always made to salaam their so-called betters. -- I like the classism/racism parallel here! --he tucked himself back under his nightshirt so fast it were like he wanted to pretend he didn't really have a willy. -- *snickers*
Not to forget that wonderful, enticing summary.
A wonderful read! Once more, I can't thank Argus Panoptus enough for insisting that you tell this story.