Original poster: geri_chan
I just came across a great essay on metafandom about "why we tend to blame Lily possibly for the wrong reasons":
The writer tries to take an objective look at who is at fault for the breakup of Lily and Snape's friendship. (Both, in the writer's opinion.) According to the essay, the fault lies mainly with J.K.R. for the whole "telling instead of showing" thing--e.g. telling us that Lily and Snape are best friends, but not showing it, etc. Our sympathies tend to lie with Snape because we only see the Marauders acting like jerks, although we are told (not shown) that James later matured, and we don't see any real closeness between Lily and Snape even though we are told that they are supposed to be close.
Since we were just talking about "telling instead of showing" on another thread, and I know there's been Lily discussion elsewhere on the community, I thought people might be interested in this.